The beauty of growing older.

Fizzlesque

Ignoring the usual, and to-be-expected, downsides of becoming older-than-still-quite-young, such as wrinkles, greying hair, thickening waists, hangovers lasting longer than they used to, aches and pains that being older sometimes brings, what do you find appealing/interesting/beneficial/happiness-inducing about growing older?

I love, and I mean love, growing older. I'm only 43, so I'm still relatively young, but if I could go back in time and have a word in my 20 year old self's ear, there's so much I'd tell myself about how much better life is going to be, once the 'growing pains' subside.

Lately, lots of the threads here that have inspired me to post a reply on, have had a recurring theme (for me) and that theme is how trivial things I was once concerned about have eventually become. I've noticed there's very little difference between men's and women's insecurities regarding how they're perceived, how valuable they are, and how life's trials effect them; something I wouldn't have been aware of when I was struggling with my own insecurities, back in the day :P

Yesterday, as I read the P.I. board, and all the problems posters are seeking assistance with, I wondered what would I have posted, if the internet and forums like these existed back then. Truth is, I honestly don't know what I'd have felt burdensome enough back then to post about, which reminds me of the transient nature of life's trials (well, some of, admittedly some of people's life's trials don't flitter on by leaving no trace of their existence in their wake) in terms of problems I'd feel comfortable to ask a bunch of 'usernames' on the internet to help me solve.

I'm a million (and I do mean a million) times happier today than I was in my twenties, despite the fact I don't have the energy to party all night as I did back then, and my mortality has lost its soft focus, but.....the older I get, the less things that used bother me, bother me. For example; I don't care if someone thinks bad of me for doing what's right for me (without harming anyone, I hasten to add), I don't care if someone disagrees with my point-of-view, I don't mind when I make a mistake, and have to put my hand up and say "sorry, I made a mistake"; I don't judge my entire self on a mistake; I don't care if I have to lower my guard to allow healing/growth a way in; I don't care if my friends have little time for me, because they're busy elsewhere - I know they'll be back when time permits; I don't need to look gorgeous at every moment, I know my stories (of which I now have many) and all the stuff that makes me me, is shinier and has much more substance than any lip gloss or carefully applied make-up can ever hope to have, and being alive, animated and still able to dance to a good tune (dancing is one of my great loves) takes precedence over how I look.

Most of all, I have learned to forgive myself for the mistakes I've made and forgive those whose mistakes have negatively impacted on me. I've also learned that life is not as long as it seems in the beginning, and there comes a time when the sanest thing to do is to look at past mistakes and resolve not to repeat them, and to take the view that every other person is just as flawed and beautiful as you are (not counting serious psychopaths, who I'd advise steering clear of :eek:) with their own issues that may be causing them to misbehave momentarily.

One thing I haven't learned is the art of writing a short post - so, to seal the 'new thread' deal, I want to ask: what do you like about getting older, or, for those of you who are still very young, what positives do you imagine await you, in your less-than-very-young lives?

[p.s. I know this is AH, so I'm probably offering myself up as a sacrificial lamb posting this here, but, I'm not interested in misery, dig deep and find the positives within, please , if you can]

Aenaes

Stop being so happy, it's pissing me off.

Deus Ex Machina

So the idea is I'll be about 87 by the time I've read the title post?

Fizzlesque

I like the responses so far....life is good

Juniorhurler

Basically you are saying not caring anymore is good. +1 on that.

squod

Word blizzard.

Fizzlesque

Juniorhurler wrote: »

Basically you are saying not caring anymore is good. +1 on that.

Darn, perhaps I should have whittled it down to "I don't care anymore"

Fizzlesque

squod wrote: »

Word blizzard.

Yeah, sorry about that, it's one of my weaknesses.

However, on the plus side, it separates those who can (read lots of words) from those who can't, or don't care to....:)

LETHAL LADY

Some strategically applied powder to the t-zone can help with that shininess. Dont give up on the bit of slap.;)

FloatingVoter

I'm 37, I've wasted my lonely life in a haze of drink and the future is even bleaker than the past. Live it up kids, it keeps getting worse.

ps. its raining
pps. the worst Irish side in living memory just left the Euro's.

Is it along those lines that you wanted, OP ?

Giselle

Fizzlesque wrote: »

For example; I don't care if someone thinks bad of me for doing what's right for me (without harming anyone, I hasten to add), I don't care if someone disagrees with my point-of-view, I don't mind when I make a mistake, and have to put my hand up and say "sorry, I made a mistake"; I don't judge my entire self on a mistake; I don't care if I have to lower my guard to allow healing/growth a way in; I don't care if my friends have little time for me, because they're busy elsewhere - I know they'll be back when time permits; I don't need to look gorgeous at every moment, I know my stories (of which I now have many) and all the stuff that makes me me, is shinier and has much more substance than any lip gloss or carefully applied make-up can ever hope to have, and being alive, animated and still able to dance to a good tune (dancing is one of my great loves) takes precedence over how I look.

I'm mid twenties, and I never cared about any of that. You don't have to be older to have some perspective, although it might help.

Doc Ruby

Fizzlesque wrote: »

One thing I haven't learned is the art of writing a short post - so, to seal the 'new thread' deal, I want to ask: what do you like about getting older, or, for those of you who are still very young, what positives do you imagine await you, in your less-than-very-young lives?

I've a different perspective on life to be sure. That's all wisdom is, really, being able to see the bigger picture. The curse of youth is myopia, even the smallest of problems compels the whole of a young person's attention, since they haven't encountered these problems before.

So unimportant things become important, leaving no room for what's really important. Age brings that, being able to put things in their proper order of importance, since all of the small problems have been overcome.

Also I'm working out a lot more that I used to, you can keep your muscles but it grows progressively more difficult to keep the pressure up as time passes, more a question fo willpower than anything else. I plan on being the most sculpted 150 year old in the morgue.

flutterflye

I'm 27.
I feel so old.
I'm basically middle aged.
Any day now I'll have my mid life crisis and buy a Harley (or steal one as I have no money)
I hate getting old.

Fizzlesque

FloatingVoter wrote: »

I'm 37, I've wasted my lonely life in a haze of drink and the future is even bleaker than the past. ..........

Is it along those lines that you wanted, OP ?

Not quite, in fact, I was looking for completely the opposite, but hey, at least you're not telling me what I already know; such as, my opening post is arduously long to read (for some) and annoyingly full of chirp (again, for some)

Cruel Sun

I'm 94 years old and I still feel as if I'm 18.

flutterflye

Fizzlesque wrote: »

my opening post is arduously long to read (for some) and annoyingly full of chirp (again, for some)

Yeah, I admit, I only read about 5 lines.
Very much a tl;dr moment for me.
And was altogether too 'positive' for my liking.

BUBBLE WRAP

Martin_94 wrote: »

I'm 94 years old and I still feel as if I'm 18.

That becouse your from sligo.. Land of the young. I should be 343 years old. But what ever is in the water, Im still only 19. But what ever you do, dont get of Tir Na Nog...THE HORSE....

Fizzlesque

flutterflye wrote: »

Yeah, I admit, I only read about 5 lines.
Very much a tl;dr moment for me.
And was altogether too 'positive' for my liking.

No worries, flutterflye....in my annoyingly positive frame of mind, I'm happy to note that even after only reading five lines of my blathering you still found something to say in response. It's all good

Reminds me of something I read on a dating site once ......" I am 53 but I only look 20!!! " made me laugh among all the profile that said I am 53 but look younger.

shuridunno

I like your post.

It has cheered me up on an otherwise ****e day.

I like getting older as it takes me further away from the trauma that is my past.

AH is not for the sensitive I know, but I love the humour here. Even when it's taking the piss out of me.

Stained Class

Well, I'm the same age as OP.

The only benefit I can see being 43 is gettin cheaper car insurance...

Oh, and the 'bigger picture' thing aswell....

Fizzlesque

shuridunno wrote: »

I like your post.

It has cheered me up on an otherwise ****e day.

I like getting older as it takes me further away from the trauma that is my past.

AH is not for the sensitive I know, but I love the humour here. Even when it's taking the piss out of me.

I'm delighted to read my post cheered you up, shuridunno (I like your name, by the way, worth saying out loud) and yes, AH is not for the sensitive, but I like the happy blend of sensitively slagging sensitive stuff I've seen so far (yikes, that's a lot of S's) which is why I felt the time was right for me to lift my posting-head above the parapet

Tigerbaby

Classy OP

52 now, and in total agreement.

You have great wisdom

BUBBLE WRAP

OP, Let me tell you a story...

Back in 2000, My granddad passed away from cancer. He spent his whole life working on his faters farm, once his two sisters left to go to the UK. He was a wise man, he enjoyed his pint once a week and played cards every so often. Was a young child he would tell me storys of working on the bog, how different farming was now to when he was a young fella. when he retired, he would go out and watch birds (with wings, not wimmin..) look at the cattle, feed cattle and similer jobs. But when ever I need anyone to talk to he was always there. Id talk to him about my problem before my parents as I really trusted my grandad. He was my best friend. As he got older he wasnt able to move around as much.. He had his own arm chair beside the fire. He would tell me to enjoy being young while, I can. Never to regret anything, even bad mistakes. As theres now way to undo them. Just move on he would say. Thats the Advice, I live by now. But he also said that retirement is the golden yoears of your life, To work hard while you can and to bring up a family that will do you proud.

A week or two after his funeral, I looked up a poem online to remember him by...

It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you didn't go alone,
Apart of us went with you,
The day god took you home.

A million times we missed you,
A million times we cried,
If love could have saved you,
You never would have died.

To the grave we travel,
The flowers are placed with care,
No-one knows the heartache,
As we turn to leave you there.

If tears could build a starway,
And heartaches could make a lane,
We would walk a path to heaven,
And bring you back again.

So I read that poem to myself when ever I feel down or sad to remind me of the good times, I had with my grandfather.

Terry

I didn't read any of this thread, but I was fugly until last year.
Now I'm a handsome bastard.
All the chicks dig me.

Big Nasty

I'm just happy with the cheaper insurance!

Fizzlesque

Bubble Wrap, thank you for your lovely post. If yours is the only post I get on this thread that fully captures the spirit I was seeking, then that's enough for me.

Finding the brightness, cause it really does exist, that's what I wanted, and you did just that, well done you

BUBBLE WRAP

Fizzlesque wrote: »

Bubble Wrap, thank you for your lovely post. If yours is the only post I get on this thread that fully captures the spirit I was seeking, then that's enough for me.

Finding the brightness, cause it really does exist, that's what I wanted, and you did just that, well done you

Thank you Ma`am.

Edit: Sorry, I didnt know if you were male or female. Thats my biggest problem with the internet.

Fizzlesque

BUBBLE WRAP wrote: »

Thank you sir.

You're most welcome, Ma'am

BUBBLE WRAP

Fizzlesque wrote: »

You're most welcome, Ma'am

Im a fella. Perhap my post was slightly feminine.

cartell_best

OP and all that have responded to the OP's post! Jebus crebus...I'm hitting 40 in exactly a month from this date...of the OP's post (erm). Ye know what, for a while back i was *****tin myself. Now? I'm listening to the KLF and Tammy Wynette and "justified and Ancient". Ya know what? ok...i have hair appearing on parts of my body and I'm wishing it would re-direct to my skull. But hey...f**k it...I'm getting older, and i understand soo much now OP.

I might be hitting 40 but saints preserve us, I'll still out do 18 year olds when it comes to throwing shapes and just being me, "yeah, f**k it*... We have one life...love it and love it!

Fizzlesque

BUBBLE WRAP wrote: »

Im a fella. Perhap my post was slightly feminine.

I know you're a fella, I was jesting with you, because you called me sir and I'm not a fella

Your post wasn't feminine, the love you described in your post is gender neutral

Nothingbetter2d

Martin_94 wrote: »

I'm 94 years old and I still feel as if I'm 18.

old age dementia kicked in?

BUBBLE WRAP

Fizzlesque wrote: »

I know you're a fella, I was jesting with you, because you called me sir and I'm not a fella

Your post wasn't feminine, the love you described in your post is gender neutral

Oh right, Sorry. I didnt do that on purpose. Thats my problem though with the internet, Unless the user has an avatar, I find it had to know.

Thanks.

H2UMrsRobinson

Found my first grey hair yesterday. Well the first one that escaped the Recital anyway. Will be 40 in a couple of years and I can't wait TBH. I just feel more worldly and I've noticed a recent trend of acceptance and placidity in myself which I'm liking. I don't seem to get as stressed as I used to. On the downside I do feel as though I've become invisible. Don't seem to turn as many heads as I used to. (thats not vanity talking just an observation, can't remember the last time I got a wolf whistle) that's ok though, I might use my new invisibility cloak to indulge in a bit of petty shoplifting on the Clarins counter. That anti-wrinkle cream ain't cheap !

Madame K

I'll be 37 in August. I don't feel any different than 18. I am often told that I look a lot younger than my age and my voice sounds young. I wish to have a deeper voice.

I wonder at which age will I suffer the ailments of old age. I can still do cartwheels and somersaults. It will be a sad day when I can no longer do them.

I remember how my grandmothers never held anything back, "Mildred, you know your butt is too fat for that skirt". "That is one ugly baby. Bless her heart. I hope she outgrows it". I can't wait to speak with such frankness without repercussion because I'm old.

Ficheall

I dunno, folks - you're not really convincing me...

BUBBLE WRAP

Ficheall wrote: »

I dunno, folks - you're not really convincing me...

But we arnt here to convince you. You need to convince yourself.

shuridunno

I definately feel older than I am due to a body battered before it's time.

So, I'm hoping that when I hit 40, 50 and 60, I'II be as I am now, only that I'II accept it a bit more, as my mind ages I'II have caught up with my physical age.

I keep as fit as I can to offset the the physical barriers getting older presents.

You can't beat keeping fit to enter old age gracefully.

FFS, I'm only 35...have spinal arthtitis though.

Ficheall

BUBBLE WRAP wrote: »

But we arnt not here to convince you. You need to convince yourself.

I have no intention of trying to convince myself that things will be better when I'm older. I've never understood those people who "couldn't wait until they were 18", "couldn't wait until the weekend", "couldn't wait until the summer", etc.* I'd prefer to live life as it comes and not being wishing it away, because it's brutally short.

And if the best ye can offer is cheaper car insurance and the realisation that no one actually cares etc, then I'm certainly in no rush :P







*I can't wait until the thesis is done, but that's different...

BUBBLE WRAP

Ficheall wrote: »

I have no intention of trying to convince myself that things will be better when I'm older. I've never understood those people who "couldn't wait until they were 18", "couldn't wait until the weekend", "couldn't wait until the summer", etc.* I'd prefer to live life as it comes and not being wishing it away, because it's brutally short.

And if the best ye can offer is cheaper car insurance and the realisation that no one actually cares etc, then I'm certainly in no rush :P







*I can't wait until the thesis is done, but that's different...

But thats exactly it, Live life as it comes. But the OP is trying to state that being "old" Isnt all doom and gloom. i.e. "Oh no im going to die soon" ect.

opinion guy

Giselle wrote: »

I'm mid twenties, and I never cared about any of that. You don't have to be older to have some perspective, although it might help.

This.

OP the reason you were unhappy was because in your twenties you still believed all the crap the you were programmed to believe about what was important by society, your friends your parents etc etc etc.
You're not happier now, just less deluded.

Ficheall wrote: »

I have no intention of trying to convince myself that things will be better when I'm older. I've never understood those people who "couldn't wait until they were 18", "couldn't wait until the weekend", "couldn't wait until the summer", etc.* I'd prefer to live life as it comes and not being wishing it away, because it's brutally short.

I never understood when people said stuff like that. Was there some choice about it that I'm not aware of ????

Doc Ruby

Ficheall wrote: »

I have no intention of trying to convince myself that things will be better when I'm older.

Genuinely, they aren't. Maturity brings tremendous balance and a whole host of mental advantages, but you have to work damn hard just to hold on to things you take for granted right now. In fact the sooner you start the easier it will be, start now would be my advice. Most people don't. That discipline brings with it a power in its own right though, its quite possible to be a very impressive human being right up to the day you cross over.

mauzo

Is this thread a joke?

Is it that hard to believe that people might enjoy their lives just as much in their 20s as you do in your 40s?

Nothingbetter2d

syndeyfife wrote: »

Is this thread a joke?

Is it that hard to believe that people might enjoy their lives just as much in their 20s as you do in your 40s?

come back in 20 years and answer again

Nothingbetter2d

syndeyfife wrote: »

Is it that hard to believe that people might enjoy their lives just as much in their 20s as you do in your 40s?

when your 40 hopefully you can have stem cell therapy and keep yourself looking young

BUBBLE WRAP

Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

come back in 20 years and answer again

Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

when your 40 hopefully you can have stem cell therapy and keep yourself looking young

I must admit, you should do stand up comedy. :rolleyes:

Nothingbetter2d

BUBBLE WRAP wrote: »

I must admit, you should do stand up comedy. :rolleyes:

why?

mauzo

BUBBLE WRAP wrote: »

But thats exactly it, Live life as it comes. But the OP is trying to state that being "old" Isnt all doom and gloom. i.e. "Oh no im going to die soon" ect.

Now I really dont want to sound rude here, but you did bring death into a thread about growing old? I dont think it was mentioned before that, and then you posted a poem about your dead grandfather?

dollyk

When its cold out
I can put on a hat, not even look in the mirror,
Its not a fashion accessory:D
Its to keep my head warm.:p
Love it


And love when I mention the menopause.
And watch the kids squirm, like Ive told them I have LEPROSY.
na na na na na Im lovin it.

BUBBLE WRAP

Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

why?

Your funny.