Looking back at your wedding - what would you do differently if anything?

circleskane

Hi all
I have been bopping around the forum as of late since I have recently become engaged. I have a bit of a tight budget with the wedding (aiming to have it summer next year).

I would like to hear about peoples experiences of looking back at their weddings in hindsight - and if they have any opinions on what they could have done without / noticed that people didnt really notice and were a big unnecessary expense - and this kind of thing. Any input or tips would be appreciated

I would alsoa be interested to hear about how you are getting on in the aftermath of the wedding, with regard to bouncing back from the big spend as this is a big concern of mine!

Sleepy

Good idea for a thread

John Mason

i would have changed 2 things.


1. I wouldnt have matched my bouquet to my dress, as it disappeared in the photos. it took me ages to make and i have to point it out to people in photos;

2. i would have printed out the readings for the readers - completely forgot that and they had to read them from the booklet

we had paid for everything before the wedding, so didnt have a big spend to bounce back from.

oh, we are married 2 months tomorrow;)

Edit: we didnt have any of the trimmings no photographer, flowers, cars, seat covers. DJ etc. and no one missed them. what we did have was a menu with a choice of vegetarian, fish, chicken and red meat for both starter and main course, which everyone loved

clint_silver

Should have invited more people. Shouldnt have worried about the food so much. Everything is cooked well, People will be starving, they wont care so much.
keep suit hire to minimum, doesnt matter.
Definitely have food on arrival if you get to the hotel early, if its a typical irish wedding youll be responsible for 100+guests who havent eaten since breakfast. if theres nothing to fill a gap at 2pm and dinner isnt til 5:30 it becomes genuinely uncomfortable by about 4pm

Don't worry about paying for a toast drink. dont worry about chair covers. dont worry about a car. Noone remembers any of that. It doesnt make much difference.

Its all about the atmosphere at the party. Spend 70-80e on a box of blow up guitars and mikes and whatnot.

If theres kids, hire a clown for 200e for a couple of hours during dinner and maybe even a child minder in a room for later on to take parents minds off the kids so they can relax. Best money spent ever.

I think hotels charge 7-8e per person for finger food and usually suggest 60%. sausages and chicken tends to get eaten. However, if they troop the usual pre-made sandwiches laden with the chefs favorite mayonaise, nearly every one of these sandwiches will be thrown out. I see this night after night. save yourself a few hundred quid here. speak to hotel.

We got a friend to camera and another to do video. Some good shots on photo but was very sorry we didn't pay for a pro job here.

Noone goes to afters unless its local. I seen 2 dublin Busses turn up at a wedding last week and 1 person on 1 of them and none on the other. Maybe 20 people on the bus going home. leave bus hire til late as possible and find out whose going and where theyre going to.

edit: post wedding, we hadnt factored in getting any money at all as presents so when we started opening envelopes we were blown away. definitely spend as much on the honeymoon as possible and go as exotic as you can. youll more then likely never do it again in your lives. come home, pay off as much loans as you can and enjoy the first year or so.

lily09

Newlywed here and just will throw in my tuppence.
Save, save, save as much as you can before the weddding yeah its a pain in the bottom but trust me your wedding will be a happier experience. You will be shocked by the level of peoples genorosity but use the money to start your life together.
Think of your guests at all times..in my opinion it is not just your day.They will make it for you so give them a good experience.No more is this more evident than at hens and stags. Choose somewhere easy and cheap for one night you will have a lovely time and wont feel guilty. Dont believe the wedding websites the people who matter wont be able to make it no matter what. They have other things in your life.
Be realistic with your dress. You dont have to spend a fortune to look a million dollars. I had change out of 500 and I was smokin hot!!
Before you start telling people about the wedding make out your guest list. Then you can say its a small wedding and your not invited.:)
Dont bother with cars, no one notices.
Dont spend a fortune on church/venue flowers unless its a very small church/venue they are lost. Spend your money on food and drink.
Pick your band carefully according to your crowd.
We didnt get a video and dont regret it, we had a lovely photographer who stayed till 11.
For your honeymoon you dont have to go long haul. You have no idea of the exhaustion after the wedding. Lie on a beach on a package holiday for a week and see how your money goes later on.
Enjoy the whole experience, the run up was so special and enjoyable,

kandr10

Your wedding day will fly by so quickly that you won't notice most of the things you've put so many months planning. So if there are things that you personally don't place value on like a car, photographer, flowers - don't get them just cos it's part of the standard package. Same goes for the opposite - if having a gorgeous dress is a big deal to you, go for it.

More specifically, I wouldn't have bothered with afters food. I don't think it would have been missed and besides there was cake! I'd favour food at reception instead if it was a long wait between ceremony and meal.

Don't have too many gimmicks. Good food, good company and plenty of drink and people will be happy.

You don't have to have a band and a dj. If you're going to pick one for the night I'd go with dj cos you'll get more bang for your buck.

As regards recovering from 'the big spend' - for us it was fine as we planned well. We made a list of the things we really wanted from the day and as we priced things we were able to see which things were feasible and which needed to be compromised. We then had a rough figure for the wedding and worked out how long it would take us to save. It wasn't a lavish event to start with so as it turned out we gave ourselves enough time to save so that we weren't in debt but still had the day we wanted. So I guess advice would be to make plenty of lists and be as organised as possible!

LeeHoffmann

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lookitsme

I would have liked to change the wife

MIRMIR82

Just married myself - its the best day EVER OP.
Advice would be:
1. Agree with other poster save as much as possible, our guests were so generous and we had a good few pound afterwards:)
2. Dont go mad with wine - we had ours included in the price of the meal - they allowed for half a bottle per guest. If i had to guess i'd say half a bottle per 2 guests would do!
3. Get a videographer - we came back from honeymoon and he had them ready we were so happy we decided at the last minute to get one- i had shopped around and got a guy very reasonable and he was like one of our friends he was so nice(PM me if you want a no.)
4.The 'obnoxious' people in your life that you have to invite will be obnoxious on ur day and the run up to the wedding(just let it in one ear and out the other!!!)
5. Spend as much time with hubby on the day - its very hard to stay together all day, but do your best.
6.Enjoy!! and dont stress about the bullsh!t on the run up to it.

circleskane

clint_silver wrote: »

Its all about the atmosphere at the party. Spend 70-80e on a box of blow up guitars and mikes and whatnot.

If theres kids, hire a clown for 200e for a couple of hours during dinner and maybe even a child minder in a room for later on to take parents minds off the kids so they can relax. Best money spent ever.

We got a friend to camera and another to do video. Some good shots on photo but was very sorry we didn't pay for a pro job here.

Advice has been well received on my end here. I love the idea of buying some kind of novelty items that will provide good craic throughout the night. definitely going to keep this in mind.
Also, I don't have kids but I would love to go to a wedding and have them looked after and not have to worry about them. Will keep this in mind too.
Loads of great posts here everyone am finding this really useful thanks!

lazygal

Not much I wouldn't keep the same. Its been said before but people only remember food, drink and the entertainment, e.g. good band/DJ. We had a free bar which people still say was really good and wasn't abused at all, people just had their pints or shorts etc and enjoyed themselves. I spent a fair bit of time on the venue decor, had my own reasons for this as I had a colour scheme for the wedding and I was glad I did, maybe others didn't notice but I was pleased with it.

We did our speeches before the meal, quite casually during the drinks reception, and kept them short. Made life easier for the speakers and less boring for the guests. I hate long tedious speeches at weddings, especially when the couple try to 'liven things up' with slideshows of childhood pictures or those paddy power betting slips.


We also had everything in one venue. Much, much nicer than a long drive between two locations e.g. church and hotel. My pet peeve for Irish weddings is when a couple have a wedding in their local church and then select a hotel an hour's drive away because they got a good deal/fell in love with a venue/insert other reason. I don't like having to waste time moving between locations so ideally have the ceremony and reception in one venue or have a short (half hour max) between the two.

Dostoevsky

Good idea for a thread.

For starters, I'd give a copy of the list of photos we wanted the photographer to take to somebody in the wedding party who is familiar with the people and scenes we wanted photographed. Get them to liaise with the photographer and ensure he took all of those photos, not just 5% of them.

Clareman

Great idea for a thread, I'm married 3 years now and from speaking to Mrs. Clareman at weddings since we agree on what did and didn't work or what we'd change at ours
1. Wedding favours - what a waste, my original idea of donation to Irish Cancer Society would have been the best option.
2. Don't save on the band - There's nothing worse than a cheap/poor band at a wedding, get 1 that gets the crowd going and keeps them going
3. Chair covers - biggest rip off known to man and hotels will want to leave them on anyway cause of the poor quality of their chairs.
4. Wedding Video - I still haven't watched it (oops) but Mrs. Clareman loves it, I didn't want to have a video, she did, she's happy since
5. If in doubt, get it - You'd be amazed at looking back and thinking of the small thing you missed out on.
6. Table Plans - When doing your table plans, factor in what tables are on the dance floor and will have to be moved, don't put older people at these tables.
7. Wedding Cards - have a plan on how to deal with them, my mother brought a massive handbag for the day and my brother just gave the cards to her. Also, remember that you will be going on honeymoon before the banks open on Monday, have a plan on where to leave the money.
8. Credit Card - if you can, try to have an empty (or ideally with money on it) credit card, use this to pay off the last of the bill for the hotel (you'll have over 50% paid by the time of the wedding) and for buying stuff on honeymoon, you can use your gifts when you return to pay this off, if you do it within 28 days there won't be any cost to this credit.
9. Pack for the day after the wedding and the honeymoon before the wedding, you'll forget loads otherwise (trust me on this 1).
10. Don't worry about the second day too much, this will just happen and will be far more relaxed with your friends anyway.
11. Do not underestimate how quickly the day will go and how much you will enjoy it, what hit me on the wedding day was that EVERYONE was there for us, they were all our friends and family, they wanted to enjoy themselves for us, it was great.

sh1tstirrer

lookitsme wrote: »

I would have liked to change the wife

Why don't you just trade her in for a newer model

delthedriver

circleskane wrote: »

Hi all
I have been bopping around the forum as of late since I have recently become engaged. I have a bit of a tight budget with the wedding (aiming to have it summer next year).

I would like to hear about peoples experiences of looking back at their weddings in hindsight - and if they have any opinions on what they could have done without / noticed that people didnt really notice and were a big unnecessary expense - and this kind of thing. Any input or tips would be appreciated

I would alsoa be interested to hear about how you are getting on in the aftermath of the wedding, with regard to bouncing back from the big spend as this is a big concern of mine!

Do a runner!!!!!:)

Jems

Set out what is a priority for you and work back from that...as I can see varying opinions on here

important for us:
good photographer - see full wedding albums before booking. so many friends disappointed with theirs. i'd be raging. defo have a few formal snaps.
good videographer - a very last minute decision & so don't regret it. she was unobtrusive as can hardly remember seeing her but results were brill.
fine food - do tastings with hotel..we went through 16 courses and totally worth it.
fine wine - sample the wines!
generous with drinks
good band/DJ - we had these to suit our music taste and nearly didn't have a band as don't like 'wedding bands' we didnt have too many 'oldies' at our wedding so never felt need to cater to their taste.
decent bar closing time - don't have it close at 12.30 or something!
flowers - dont go mad, just basics. take flowers from church to venue.
invite who you want - not who anyone else wants
make a tableplan
if having church wedding, make mass booklets/pamplets (note scroll type are noisy)
church music - take time to pick tunes.
speeches -defo liked having them & weren't too long. I got paddy power sweepstakes kit which went down well on tables that used them (I like doing the speech betting at weddings!)
time - allow time to be with guests pre dinner & post dinner. the day flies & if your music is good you will spend the night on the dancefloor
minimoon - we didnt go away on a big trip straightaway so had a short break...do not advise city break...go lie down somewhere in the sun.

Not important to us (some in hindsight!):
favours - I did them & regret it.
car - last minute we booked one that my dad paid for as he wanted to reclaim his car. it was nice but could've gone without.
chair covers - waste of money
expensive cake - I made ours
drinks reception music - no need for band or 'entertainment' ...I made a playlist for ipod, guests are chatting & don't want to have to pay attention to something.
who speaks at speeches - traditionally fathers speak, ours were not keen so didnt make them. my bro and the best man spoke (so 1 from each family)
cameras on tables - a really nice idea but most photos dont come out properly/poorly taken so ended up waste of money (developing costs ) ...v cute to see my 4yo niece looking for the photo on the back

In my own experience it may be wise to consult with suppliers about what happens in the event they can't show up hair/make up/photographer etc.

Most of all enjoy the day and don't sweat the small stuff especially in the run up - think this was said already but it is so true!

wexford12

As an owner of a wedding car company im surprised with hearing people saying the car was a waste of money. When a bride and groom book with me I have never heard anything but how much the car was worth every cent. They all agree that the day goes so quickly and its the only time they get to spend alone with their husband with no pictures been taken and time to relax together.
This cannot be done if your brother friend etc uses their new Merc you will feel the need to talk to them and hence loose the moments alone that day.

I got married last year and yes it can be costly but if your careful and work with your budget it will all work out. The only thing we would of changed we would of invited more guests its the best day of your life make the most of it and spoil yourselves.

Acoshla

wexford12 wrote: »

As an owner of a wedding car company im surprised with hearing people saying the car was a waste of money. When a bride and groom book with me I have never heard anything but how much the car was worth every cent. They all agree that the day goes so quickly and its the only time they get to spend alone with their husband with no pictures been taken and time to relax together.
This cannot be done if your brother friend etc uses their new Merc you will feel the need to talk to them and hence loose the moments alone that day.

Different people put value on different things, so of course the ones that come to you don't say that the car is a waste of money, they're coming to you because they've chosen to hire one, you don't hear from the ones who think it's a waste. People have different priorities, I for one will not fork out a fortune on flowers or favours, instead our lovely venue with it's great food is our big splurge, and we're paying a good bit for the photographer because they are very important to me, others don't like expensive cakes, more people love a cake as a centrepiece, etc etc, people differ.

Tbh I'd prefer to have someone I know in the front seat than a stranger, my brother in law to be will be driving myself and my parents to the church and my boyfriend will be driving us to the hotel himself in our vintage car, but I'd be happy out with a relative/friend driving us, would prefer to chat away to himself in front of them than a stranger. I wouldn't feel the need to talk to the person because it'd be pretty obvious we wanted to focus on each other for a few minutes!

johnfás

lazygal wrote: »

We also had everything in one venue. Much, much nicer than a long drive between two locations e.g. church and hotel. My pet peeve for Irish weddings is when a couple have a wedding in their local church and then select a hotel an hour's drive away because they got a good deal/fell in love with a venue/insert other reason. I don't like having to waste time moving between locations so ideally have the ceremony and reception in one venue or have a short (half hour max) between the two.

totally disagree with you on that. Was at an all on one location wedding this summer and hated it. I was delighted to share their day, but honestly, being in one place with all those people from 1pm until the early hours with no break is unnecessarily tiring. The gap between the church and the hotel is a welcome break for most people and generally I would not head straight to the hotel but rather go for a bite to eat someone before heading to the reception and seeing everyone again.

Sea Filly

wexford12 wrote: »

As an owner of a wedding car company im surprised with hearing people saying the car was a waste of money.

Money is tight these days, many likely see it as an unnecessary expense.

antiskeptic

circleskane wrote: »

Hi all
I have been bopping around the forum as of late since I have recently become engaged. I have a bit of a tight budget with the wedding (aiming to have it summer next year).

I would like to hear about peoples experiences of looking back at their weddings in hindsight - and if they have any opinions on what they could have done without / noticed that people didnt really notice and were a big unnecessary expense - and this kind of thing. Any input or tips would be appreciated

I would alsoa be interested to hear about how you are getting on in the aftermath of the wedding, with regard to bouncing back from the big spend as this is a big concern of mine!

Somebody pointed out beforehand that we should attempt to take time out both together and individually to pause and sample the day as it flew by. It goes so quickly that you could end up with a blur instead of memories. In so far as we succeeded it added mightily to the experience. Take a moment now and then for just the two of you.

We got a number of folk to ensure they were banging off plenty of photos but didn't go far enough. The wedding photographer can't get the same candid stuff that your family and mates can. It's great to get piles of photos afterward from all and sundry.

Don't be shy to ask for money if that's what would suit best as a present.

Leave more space between wedding and going on honeymoon (if going). You need a week to recuperate really. We went too quickly.

We didn't do any of the (considered unnecessary by us) added extras. No champagne in the car (we got an executivetaxi.ie car anyway - identical car/service as a wedding company .. for half the price and you can cut/pay the limo trips to what you need), no cake, bought a suit I could wear again rather than waste money hiring one, no flowers decorating church or reception (we were in a restaurant whose tables were crowded with glasses and cutlery so tables wouldn't look bare without flowers),

It's a great day and you'll smile all the way through (never again will you have so many people on your side). So get your teeth cleaned beforehand if at all coffee stained Him and her.


best of..

Monife

wexford12 wrote: »

As an owner of a wedding car company im surprised with hearing people saying the car was a waste of money. When a bride and groom book with me I have never heard anything but how much the car was worth every cent. They all agree that the day goes so quickly and its the only time they get to spend alone with their husband with no pictures been taken and time to relax together.
This cannot be done if your brother friend etc uses their new Merc you will feel the need to talk to them and hence loose the moments alone that day.

I got married last year and yes it can be costly but if your careful and work with your budget it will all work out. The only thing we would of changed we would of invited more guests its the best day of your life make the most of it and spoil yourselves.

I thought a wedding car would be a waste of money too. My dad paid for it on the day as a surprise and it was actually really nice being able to be alone with my dad on the way to the ceremony and chat, and for him to calm my nerves and then to be alone with hubby on the way back to the hotel after the ceremony. Also, the style of the car meant it was REALLY roomy in the back, which was definitely needed because of my wedding dress. And we got to enjoy champagne in the car together on the 30 minute drive to the hotel

Bride2012

I wouldn't change much about the day itself, loved it but I would love to go back to the year running it up to it and slap myself . I worried about the smallest of details, things that I barely noticed on the day let alone anyone else. Matching colours and decor etc..

I wouldn't bother with chair covers either, waste of money especially as it was a big wedding! We walked in for dinner as were announced as husband and wife and almost every chair had a jacket or shawl covering the back of the chair as it was a warm day. :eek:

Just make sure you grab a few minutes here and there with each other as everyone wants a piece of you.

aujopimur

It would have been better if I did'nt turn up.

pwurple

I probably would have checked with all vendors again two and three days prior to wedding, rather than two weeks before. We were let down by a band not showing up on the day. In fairness, we had an ipod going, and got another band at very short notice, but they were not really our taste, and a bit loud for our tiny venue.

Clareman

I just remembered something, DO NOT WASTE MONEY ON DISPOSABLE CAMERAS, not only do you have to buy them but you have to pay to get them developed as well, a terrible terrible waste of money and no good photos, for a friends wedding recently I setup a website for them for people to upload their photos of the day, a load of people did this and they got some great photos.

Jellicoe

circleskane wrote: »

I would alsoa be interested to hear about how you are getting on in the aftermath of the wedding, with regard to bouncing back from the big spend as this is a big concern of mine!

The main thing, if you can, is to hint to family/friends/guests that you'd just prefer a cash present to help cover the costs, like most country weddings do, most guests will give you approx. €75 a head / €150-200 a couple, depending on your extravagance, you'll at least break even on the function etc. With this system large country style weddings come close to paying for themselves. That’s the way it was with ours. You shouldn't worry too much about keeping the numbers down, or letting your folks invite their friends etc. and about 10-20% won't be able to make it anyway. The key is to keep it simple, people are no longer impressed by the bits and bobs and frills and novelties/fancy food etc. these days, large or small crowd, just keep it simple and stick with the tried an tested, nothing too fancy or out of the ordinary. These unfussy/busy weddings always turn out to be the best craic/most successful anyway. Don't skimp on the music/band/d.j. though whatever you do. Everything else is not really noticed/remembered much by guests, but poor music will be. Couple of guests with guitars etc. for the late bar sing song is also highly recommended.

Monife

Jellicoe wrote: »

The main thing, if you can, is to hint to family/friends/guests that you'd just prefer a cash present to help cover the costs, like most country weddings do, most guests will give you approx. €75 a head / €150-200 a couple, depending on your extravagance, you'll at least break even on the function etc. With this system large country style weddings come close to paying for themselves. That’s the way it was with ours. You shouldn't worry too much about keeping the numbers down, or letting your folks invite their friends etc. and about 10-20% won't be able to make it anyway. The key is to keep it simple, people are no longer impressed by the bits and bobs and frills and novelties/fancy food etc. these days, large or small crowd, just keep it simple and stick with the tried an tested, nothing too fancy or out of the ordinary. These unfussy/busy weddings always turn out to be the best craic/most successful anyway. Don't skimp on the music/band/d.j. though whatever you do. Everything else is not really noticed/remembered much by guests, but poor music will be. Couple of guests with guitars etc. for the late bar sing song is also highly recommended.

I wouldn't advise anyone to rely on money they do not know they will get yet. Not everyone has the cash these days and it is not unheard of people to pool together now and get one present/cash present or get an actual present. We had 60 people at our wedding, and the cash presents came no where near to the total costs of the day. We were lucky that we were not expecting any cash or relying on it, so it was a nice bonus to get which we put into our credit union account. We got 4 cash presents, 2 of them being quite large (€400 and €500 respectively, but the others were €100 and €150) and the rest of the guests gave us actual presents.

Jellicoe

Sea Filly wrote: »

Money is tight these days, many likely see it as an unnecessary expense.

There's a lot of other things I would cut out first.
Wedding car is not really a big expense overall if you shop around. They are also very nice for the photos/backdrop and they do add to the wedding atmosphere etc. Plus its one of the few things the groom gets a say in choosing ! Also you'll find that any family/friends with a fancy motor will be more than willing to drive the bridesmaids for you.

Jellicoe

Monife wrote: »

I wouldn't advise anyone to rely on money they do not know they will get yet. Not everyone has the cash these days and it is not unheard of people to pool together now and get one present/cash present or get an actual present. We had 60 people at our wedding, and the cash presents came no where near to the total costs of the day. We were lucky that we were not expecting any cash or relying on it, so it was a nice bonus to get which we put into our credit union account. We got 4 cash presents, 2 of them being quite large (€400 and €500 respectively, but the others were €100 and €150) and the rest of the guests gave us actual presents.

You're right to point out you should not rely on anything.
You need to know your crowd and judge it from other local/family/friend weddings.
You mostly only see that craic, and wedding gift lists, at city weddings.

Thankfully round our way they're well trained and give cash, and giving ornaments kitchenware etc. died out years ago. At €100-150 per couple that will more than pay for most functions. Large or small wedding, remember the all fixed costs such as music, photos etc. etc. etc. are the same regardless. so more paying guests does not necessarily equal more costs.

Jems

Clareman wrote: »

I just remembered something, DO NOT WASTE MONEY ON DISPOSABLE CAMERAS, not only do you have to buy them but you have to pay to get them developed as well, a terrible terrible waste of money and no good photos, for a friends wedding recently I setup a website for them for people to upload their photos of the day, a load of people did this and they got some great photos.

yeah I said this already! so true :rolleyes:

where did you set up a website? i'd love to get pics from my mates but its not easy. i'd love to have something easy & user friendly to set up.. not picasa or them

Sleepy

The moposa website that many hotels give you access to offers that functionality for guests to upload photos on the personal website you can create to give your guests directions, details of accommodation etc.

Sea Filly

Jellicoe wrote: »

There's a lot of other things I would cut out first.
Wedding car is not really a big expense overall if you shop around. They are also very nice for the photos/backdrop and they do add to the wedding atmosphere etc. Plus its one of the few things the groom gets a say in choosing ! Also you'll find that any family/friends with a fancy motor will be more than willing to drive the bridesmaids for you.

Everyone has different priorities, I guess. I wouldn't be bothered about fancy cars.

Sea Filly

Jellicoe wrote: »

Thankfully round our way they're well trained and give cash, and giving ornaments kitchenware etc. died out years ago.

"Well-trained"? Yikes.

The Davestator

Let's not derail this good thread with ANOTHER 'gifts for weddings' argument!

Sea Filly

The Davestator wrote: »

Let's not derail this good thread with ANOTHER 'gifts for weddings' argument!

Indeed. Sorry!

BrianBoru00

Wedding Band:
To me this is / was one of the most important aspects. I think most "good weddings" have a good wedding band. Ours did DJ as well and definitely worth the money.

Chair Covers:
I could never understand this expense. The ONLY time they look the part is before anyone enters the banquet room. For the meal, they're covered by whoever is sitting on them, then for the dancing, they're off to the side so I don t see any benefit whatsoever in them.

Car
We were lucky in that a relative got a "classic" car for us. But again if that hadn't happened, we were going to go with a Black Audi belonging to a relation - I suppose it s personal choice but we didnt spend any money on it.

Wedding Video
Again, we were fortunate that my sister d& boyfriend did this but looking around forums before hand, I noticed that this was the most common regret people had after their wedding,

annabella26

circleskane wrote: »

Hi all
I have been bopping around the forum as of late since I have recently become engaged. I have a bit of a tight budget with the wedding (aiming to have it summer next year).

I would like to hear about peoples experiences of looking back at their weddings in hindsight - and if they have any opinions on what they could have done without / noticed that people didnt really notice and were a big unnecessary expense - and this kind of thing. Any input or tips would be appreciated

I would alsoa be interested to hear about how you are getting on in the aftermath of the wedding, with regard to bouncing back from the big spend as this is a big concern of mine!

fantastic idea for a thread! im in the same position and looking for ideas for my own..... also interested as to ideas for entertainment during the wedding from people who had some at theirs or seen something really good at others weddings? a friend had a fake polish waiter (he was a comedian) who was dressed and acting as staff but ended up insulting the mother of the bride and tried picking up the most homophobic person at the meal..... it was hilarious and a complete ice breaker for everyone but we cant use him as there would be alot of same guests as their wedding....
weve already saved a load on other bits so want to splash out a lil bit of entertainment and memory factor

Jellicoe

Sea Filly wrote: »

"Well-trained"? Yikes.

SOHF

Jellicoe

Sea Filly wrote: »

Everyone has different priorities, I guess. I wouldn't be bothered about fancy cars.

Depends on your definition of 'fancy', if you shop around you can hire a fun classic car for reasonable money, or a relative / friend might have one, its actually one of the least expensive bills of the day, but each to their own.

El_Dangeroso

annabella26 wrote: »

a friend had a fake polish waiter (he was a comedian) who was dressed and acting as staff but ended up insulting the mother of the bride and tried picking up the most homophobic person at the meal.....

Just be very careful, this might not be everyone's cup of tea, kinda cringing thinking about it tbh!

annabella26

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Just be very careful, this might not be everyone's cup of tea, kinda cringing thinking about it tbh!

if it had of been offered to me without seeing it in action before hand i definately WOULDNT but have to say everyone really enjoyed it and it was at a very ott posh wedding where it could have backfired majorly, but as i said i wont be having anythin like that... im still looking for something completely unexpected that my guests will really enjoy

Clareman

Jems wrote: »

yeah I said this already! so true :rolleyes:

where did you set up a website? i'd love to get pics from my mates but its not easy. i'd love to have something easy & user friendly to set up.. not picasa or them

It's quite easy, just get a domain from godaddy, long domain names with and in the middle, like anneandbarry.com are usually available in some form. From here just setup simple ftp access so people can copy and paste through a widget

Gatica

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Just be very careful, this might not be everyone's cup of tea, kinda cringing thinking about it tbh!

+1. I wouldn't do that just in case ended up upsetting someone at the wedding.
Saw disposable cameras at weddings, they only got used for maybe 2 photos before/during the meal and then the rest when everyone was getting drunk. They weren't even the "aw, that looks like a lot of fun!" kind of photos. So yeah, probably waste of money. Also saw some ppl leaving blank CDs in envelopes for guests to put their photos on that and mail back to B&G. But dunno how many ppl bothered or remembered to take one. Also, when sat down to put photos on the disc, they mostly didn't look good enough to send, so didn't.
Car would've been a waste of money for us simply cos we're having civil wedding on the grounds That's a big saver right there.
Try to get the hotel to do as much of the decor for you as possible, and get them to agree to it early on. I'll update the thread again after the wedding

JustAThought

My friends got married & did a fabulous thing with the photos. They got everyone to email their favourite photos to them ( some burned CDs) & after they asked if people had photos of X or Y that they could send to them that they didn't have. Which they followed up with phone call!! Hard to ignore!!!
They then went to an online photobook site which provides samples & layout templates; uploaded & organised everything they wanted& have a fantastic wedding book; hardcover; professional layout; in a box-sleeve that looks amazing & only cost e150.
And with their " permission" online ( " settings/authorise") anyone who would like can also buy one ; aunts; long lost friends living in Oz etc!!

Ive sat through a fair few very formal wedding albums but this one was amazing cos it had everyone & everything in it & covered the professional " grouped" & Alter shots,& the whole night & cos they got friends to post in photos had the " good" photos ofthe right friends, relaxed together, and some great " personality" & a few crazy dancing/ misdemeanour ones too... : )

Id only ever seen the cheep 10 page ones before for Christenings etc but this was a U.S. Design company templates & at about 80 pages long ; thou you could choose size, shape & design type. It Looked amazing & could be put with the other hardbacks on the bookshelf ( no need for a shrine!) & live safely in its fancy protective sleeve on the bookshelf. And at e150 I think this was a good price ( thou I wouldn't know myself!!)

The photographer ( prof) also agreed to uploadthe prof shotsfor this so that was v good; not sure if this was organised in advance or after but would be agood negotiation to have before selecting one!!!

Best wedding album I've ever seen!!

John Mason

Clareman wrote: »

I just remembered something, DO NOT WASTE MONEY ON DISPOSABLE CAMERAS, not only do you have to buy them but you have to pay to get them developed as well, a terrible terrible waste of money and no good photos, for a friends wedding recently I setup a website for them for people to upload their photos of the day, a load of people did this and they got some great photos.

i absolutley love our disposable camera photos,

they are are a complete drunken disgrace but that's exaxtly what the night was. (biggest bar takings at a wedding )

We didnt bring the cameras out until after 10pm BUT having said that loads of them are unuseable. We had numbered all the cameras and some bright spark thought it would be great to take a photo of each camera :rolleyes:

AND A HUGE BUT a family member owns a camera shop, so we didnt have to pay for the cameras, developing, printing, CD's etc.

but i look at them more than the normal well behaved ones.

They are hilarious.

we didnt bother with a photographer because we didnt want staged boring photos, so we got friends to upload all their photos to a facebook page and we picked the ones we like and made our own photo albums online. We did have a family member take some "offical" photos which are great. I did phone around a few photographers and they wanted to follow me around all morning - what is that all about ?????

Its all about what is important to YOU. To us, cars, cakes, dresses, chair covers, flowers, photographers etc., were not important, what was important was the food, music and having the craic.

we wanted our day to be fun, not soppy and sentimental.

Acoshla

irishbird wrote: »

they are are a complete drunken disgrace but that's exaxtly what the night was. (biggest bar takings at a wedding )

At the last wedding in my fiance's family they broke the dancefloor, I live in fear of having a similar worst/best moment at our wedding, biggest bar takings is a bit more bearable!

leap

Put directions to the reception on the back of the ceremony booklets, no one remembers the directions from the invitations.

Pick your music based on the crowd, if you are having a 200+ wedding in rural ireland with lots of aunties and elderly neighbours just a DJ might not work but if you are having a young crowd go for it.

Gatica

After having had our wedding I really wanted to come back to this thread, cos there were a few things that I was kicking myself for.

We had a civil ceremony on the grounds of the hotel. Everything went great. However, the hotel had suggested providing finger-food for 80% of the guests after the ceremony, which is apparently standard and we agreed. The guests, as I'm sure you can guess, were starving well before dinner-time. We should've insisted on having finger food for 100% of the guests and extra!
If you have a church wedding, I'm supposing not everyone heads to the hotel early enough for the finger-food and sparking wine reception, hence the 80%. In our case everyone would've been there early already anyway. Dunno why I just didn't think of that. That's my biggest regret.

There was also a change-over of coordinators during the day as one was leaving on holidays (just bad timing for us really), so a few things fell through the cracks. I'd noticed it that morning, but said nothing assuming it'd get fixed. Don't assume these things and let someone know! It all got fixed no problem later on when I mentioned it, but would've been easier if I'd got it sorted earlier in the day. Some tables were missing candles, as I was supplying some of them but not all, and some of the tables at the back were arranged different from how I'd wanted them laid out. So if you notice things amiss, don't leave it assuming someone knows, they might not.

Rest before your wedding day! I left lots to be done the night before and it all took far longer than I thought it would. I was so tired the following day I was tempted to sneak off upstairs for a snooze after dinner! Only stayed up cos of the first dance and once the music got going stayed on the dance floor for the night. The high energies of the evening carried me through, but it was tough going at times.

Good music and good food are appreciated by the guests. Got lots of comments from guests on that, so if you can afford it, don't skimp on it.

Take a few minutes out during the day to think and recap on events to that moment, it flies by so quick you could forget moments you wanted to be memorable.

aoife1981

Hi there,
If budget is tight look at most important areas.
For me the most memorable thing of the day is the photographer so make sure you get a good one as in 50 years time the photographs are the main memories you'll have.
All weddings are so similar - matching flowers; similar food; similar hotels etc etc - most people are just there for you - once there is food and drink they'll be grand.
My friend got marries a few months ago and had a face on her the whole day - rarely smiled once as she was worried about everyone.
Just enjoy it – don’t worry about the little things as nobody else will even care once your happy.
Best of luck with the whole thing!

lazy girl

get a bigger cake and go on honeymoon maybe four days after wedding as opposed to two days.