Do women have all the power...

Daveysil15

When it comes to dating and sex? Do they hold the cards and do you think it varies from place to place? Obviously its different in places like the middle east where men have all the power, but can it be equal?

christmas2012

no i dont think women or men ''have all the power'' it depends on the personalities and characters of the individuals and the situation at hand..

Gummy Panda

First they give the belly rub, then they get the power

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Daveysil15 wrote: »

When it comes to dating and sex? Do they hold the cards and do you think it varies from place to place? Obviously its different in places like the middle east where men have all the power, but can it be equal?

No. Try flirting with two girls on the same night in front of each other and see what happens.

keithb93

I was in a night club in galway one night and my friend just shouted out (drunkenly) "the women have the power" and stormed home

The King of Moo

No they don't.

One might argue that women have slightly more power in terms of one-night stands as there's still more of an expectation on men to approach women, but this expectation is nowhere near as strong as it used to be.

In fact, one might equally argue that this gives men slightly more power, as they're choosing the women who will then get to choose. These women can only choose to accept or reject the men who approach them. But if they're all ugly eejits and the men of their dreams are sitting quietly to the side, then what kind of power is that?

But like I said, this only applies to one-night stands and the expectation isn't so strong anymore.

Why would someone think of the dating game as a discourse of power anyway? That seems unhealthy to me, and a negative way of looking at something that should be positive.

It seems like it's the usual "men are more discriminated against these days" attitude from a minority of insecure men who seem like they'd prefer we were back in the 50s in terms of gender relations.

*Ctrl-c's in case this thread has been locked since I started my post*

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Daveysil15

FizzleSticks wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

How would that give men the power though? It's up to the women to accept or reject him.

The King of Moo

Daveysil15 wrote: »

How would that give men the power though? It's up to the women to accept or reject him.

But the men decide which women get to accept or reject them.

If you're a woman who waits for men to approach you and no-one does approach you, then what power do you have?

Logical Fallacy

Daveysil15 wrote: »

When it comes to dating and sex? Do they hold the cards and do you think it varies from place to place? Obviously its different in places like the middle east where men have all the power, but can it be equal?

It varies from person to person.

Oddly enough their level of success and dominance will then colour their opinion.

Doc Ruby

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

No. Try flirting with two girls on the same night in front of each other and see what happens.

They start a cat fight to see who gets to continue flirting, but in reality I make that decision based on their displays of athletic prowess and flexibility regardless of who wins?

Fizzlesque

Hey FizzleSticks, I just had the oddest half a second there, when I saw your name as the last poster and thought it was mine (Fizzlesque was previously Fizzlestix, on another board, for many years), even though I knew I hadn't posted. I've just finished watching The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and for the tiniest moment my brain couldn't compute what the hell was going on.... had my memory been erased

Regarding the OP, I think it's absurd to suggest women have all the power in the dating game. If they did, would there be lots and lots and lots of single women wishing they could find someone to get involved with?

Neither gender has all the power - I wish your opening post had been a bit more detailed, for example, what makes you think they do (if you think they do) and what you mean by 'power'.

Plenty of times there have been men I've liked who didn't like me back, or, at least, enough to want to see if we could have a relationship - and at other times I've been the one someone else liked but I didn't feel the same way.

Downlinz

Women under 30 hold all the cards, men hold the cards when with women over 30. Fact

tdv123

Well Andy Gray & Richard Keys have there way of keeping them in there place.

"Do us a favour love........"

Fizzlesque

Downlinz wrote: »

Women under 30 hold all the cards, men hold the cards when with women over 30. Fact

Dunno about that....my pulling power increased considerably in my thirties. My forties haven't been too bad either, so far (only a few years in at this stage). Looking young for my age probably helps but the confidence that comes with getting older definitely works wonders.

Jen Pigs Fly

Some women seem to think that having a vagina means they must get certain privileges - men must do what they say in order to get a bit of their magical vagina :rolleyes:

Daveysil15

The King of Moo wrote: »

But the men decide which women get to accept or reject them.

If you're a woman who waits for men to approach you and no-one does approach you, then what power do you have?

I'm not sure what you mean? How do the men get to decide who accepts and rejects them? And if the women are not been approached then they can do the approaching!

smurgen

Downlinz wrote: »

Women under 30 hold all the cards, men hold the cards when with women over 30. Fact

100% correct in my opinion

Madam_X

smurgen wrote: »

100% correct in my opinion

100% not true in reality. Strange the way such claims are made despite it varying from case to case.

Gummy Panda

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

Some women seem to think that having a vagina means they must get certain privileges - men must do what they say in order to get a bit of their magical vagina :rolleyes:

Its magical?

The King of Moo

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I'm not sure what you mean? How do the men get to decide who accepts and rejects them? And if the women are not been approached then they can do the approaching!

You didn't give much detail in your OP so I assumed you were taking the common position which suggests that men are generally expected to approach women, with the women then having the power to accept or reject them.
But in such a (hypothetical) situation, while both genders have some power, it's the men who have the overall power as they approach women first, and those women then get to accept or reject the men. But first, the men must approach them, so the men have the primary power. If a women isn't approached, then she has no power to choose.

But like you say, those women can then go and approach men, which then grants those men the power to choose, but gives the women the greater power to choose.

But anyway, in reality, different individuals have different levels of power based on their personality, with gender not having anything to do with it.

djk1000

It really depends on the two people involved, you can't generalise. I've been on both sides and for the life of me still can't figure out how the dynamic was different!

I'll tell you one thing, I tend to like a woman more when I have to do a bit of pursuing.

Micky Dolenz

Daveysil15 wrote: »

When it comes to dating and sex? Do they hold the cards and do you think it varies from place to place? Obviously its different in places like the middle east where men have all the power, but can it be equal?

It is equal, to think any different is really a matter of self esteem.

midlandsmissus

The King of Moo wrote: »

But the men decide which women get to accept or reject them.

If you're a woman who waits for men to approach you and no-one does approach you, then what power do you have?

Exactly. Men think they have it hard in that they have to approach women.

But imagine if you're a pro-active woman who goes after the college she wants, the career she wants, but can't go after the man she wants, She doesn;t have much control, she has to sit back and wait for the man to approach her, as it is beat into us that men can't bear if you do the running and love the thrill of the chase.

So then there spawns a million articles in Cosmo and the likes on 'how to let men subtly know you like them without actually asking them out'. It's a lot of fecking work, you can't just simply go for what you want!

Stupid dating rules!

midlandsmissus

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I'm not sure what you mean? How do the men get to decide who accepts and rejects them? And if the women are not been approached then they can do the approaching!

But we are told by every kind of men and media source that men can't bear to not be the ones doing the running.

In fact I read a study the other day of couples sampled, and every successful lasting couple, the man had approached the woman. Something to do with the man being the hunter and wanting to work for his prize and feeling a sense of achievement. The women surveyed weren;t bothered and said they would like to be able to go for what they want but knew men didn't want that. It was the men ( these were all people in couples talking about how they got together) whom made a big deal of it, saying if it had had been the woman who had approached him it 'would have taken all the fun out of it' - was one common answer among lots.

Scanlas The 2nd

The King of Moo wrote: »

No they don't.

One might argue that women have slightly more power in terms of one-night stands as there's still more of an expectation on men to approach women, but this expectation is nowhere near as strong as it used to be.

In fact, one might equally argue that this gives men slightly more power, as they're choosing the women who will then get to choose. These women can only choose to accept or reject the men who approach them. But if they're all ugly eejits and the men of their dreams are sitting quietly to the side, then what kind of power is that?

But like I said, this only applies to one-night stands and the expectation isn't so strong anymore.

Why would someone think of the dating game as a discourse of power anyway? That seems unhealthy to me, and a negative way of looking at something that should be positive.

It seems like it's the usual "men are more discriminated against these days" attitude from a minority of insecure men who seem like they'd prefer we were back in the 50s in terms of gender relations.

*Ctrl-c's in case this thread has been locked since I started my post*

I'd say women choose most one night stands. They see a guy they want and they make him approach her. Sometimes they linger nearby and brush off the guy or they walk backwards into him etc etc

midlandsmissus

Downlinz wrote: »

Women under 30 hold all the cards, men hold the cards when with women over 30. Fact

I defo don't agree with that. Women reach their sexual peak in their early thirties and become much more confident. They're obv not going to get men in their 20's but alot of older men in 30s, 40s and 50s would still be very interested.

It's all about confidence. You gotta love yourself first and be happy with yourself no matter what age!

midlandsmissus

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

Some women seem to think that having a vagina means they must get certain privileges - men must do what they say in order to get a bit of their magical vagina :rolleyes:

Where's the sisterhood Jenny, where's the sisterhood!

Jen Pigs Fly

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Its magical?

Some like to think so! :P

Daveysil15

midlandsmissus wrote: »

But we are told by every kind of men and media source that men can't bear to not be the ones doing the running.

I can't speak on behalf of all men, but I wouldn't mind the women doing the chasing every now and again. I'd be fine with that!

Jen Pigs Fly

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Where's the sisterhood Jenny, where's the sisterhood!

The Sister hood of the magical vagina of total power?

First you must master how to sign your name with your vagina! Get those pelvic floor muscles working :pac: