No gift or card for the Bride and Groom!!!

anthonymax

amdublin wrote: »

^^^ Do you want their prescence or their presents

Em....both? A lack of gift shows a lack of thoughtfulness and basic respect for the bride and groom. As my previous post should indicate to you, ANY token gift no matter how small or inexpensive is not beyond anyone's means.

lookitsme

do you think it is at least manners to cover the cost of your food and wine? if you were out with a group of friends you wouldn't leave without paying your fair share.

amdublin

anthonymax wrote: »

Em....both? A lack of gift shows a lack of thoughtfulness and basic respect for the bride and groom. As my previous post should indicate to you, ANY token gift no matter how small or inexpensive is not beyond anyone's means.

You think?

So after spending money on petrol to get there, possibly money on accommodation you deign to judge that they should be able to afford an extra ten/twenty on a present for you.

Is the fact that they are there to celebrate your special day with you not enough for you?

Do you generally throw parties/invite people to parties just for the present you want from them?

anthonymax

amdublin wrote: »

You think?

So after spending money on petrol to get there, possibly money on accommodation you deign to judge that they should be able to afford an extra ten/twenty on a present for you.

Is the fact that they are there to celebrate your special day with you not enough for you?

Do you generally throw parties/invite people to parties just for the present you want from them?

Not parties no, just weddings. But if I was as begrudging about going to someone's wedding as your post is coming across to me, I wonder why would you go at all?

amdublin

anthonymax wrote: »

Not parties no, just weddings. But if I was as begrudging about going to someone's wedding as your post is coming across to me, I wonder why would you go at all?

I think you're picking me up wrong

I am not begrudging going to a wedding at all. I would have thought my words "celebrate your special day" would have indicated that.

I don't need gifts from people. I just want people there to celebrate and enjoy the day.

Why do you want gifts?

anthonymax

amdublin wrote: »

I think you're picking me up wrong

I am not begrudging going to a wedding at all. I would have thought my words "celebrate your special day" would have indicated that.

I don't need gifts from people. I just want people there to celebrate and enjoy the day.

Why do you want gifts?

I must be picking you up wrong so, if you say you're not begrudging then you're not.

I think you're also picking me up wrong though. I don't want gifts. My own opinion on not giving gifts at a wedding is that it's simply bad manners and I wouldn't do it, that's all.

battleaxe88

My sister is getting marries in October. I'm going to give her a cash gift, prob about €200. TBH the wedding is costing me so much money. That I dont really have. Think its costing me about €500 in total, including accomadation, clothes, travel and money for the evening. Maybe more. It has made me realise how expensive it is for guests to attend a wedding, even before a gift is given, regalrdless of how little it costs.

I think the bride and groom should just be grateful people are willing to spend that much money to attend the wedding in the first place, I know if it was me i'd rather loads of guest for a good atmosphere in the evening than cards and gifts that I probably wouldnt need.

amdublin

anthonymax wrote: »

I must be picking you up wrong so, if you say you're not begrudging then you're not.

I think you're also picking me up wrong though. I don't want gifts. My own opinion on not giving gifts at a wedding is that it's simply bad manners and I wouldn't do it, that's all.

Okay.

I wish you well in the future and hope you have a house full of happiness and photo frames!

lookitsme wrote: »

do you think it is at least manners to cover the cost of your food and wine? if you were out with a group of friends you wouldn't leave without paying your fair share.

A more accurate comparison would be: Do you normally invite people to parties and expect them to pay for their food?

juan.kerr

Scabby b******s

LizT

anthonymax wrote: »

Em....both? A lack of gift shows a lack of thoughtfulness and basic respect for the bride and groom. As my previous post should indicate to you, ANY token gift no matter how small or inexpensive is not beyond anyone's means.

Some people might be embarrassed giving you a cheaper gift and might prefer just to get you a card.

When you factor in travelling to the wedding, accommodation, maybe a day off work, maybe a babysitter - it all adds up. For some people even going to a wedding is a financial stretch.

I really don't understand how you think it's disrespectful for someone to show up to witness your marriage without a gift. If you're inviting them to your wedding, their presence should be enough.

mikemac1

Empty card draws attention

So maybe they could not afford a gift and just decided to not give a card

They do care about you and it costs a good bit of money to attend the whole day.

If they couldn't be bothered with you they would not have shown up

So you got their presence, that should be enough

And just because you see someone in a good job you don't know their circumstances.
Solicitor is a good job for example, doesn't mean they are earning though
You don't know their pressures and circumstances

iguana

juan.kerr wrote: »

Scabby b******s

This is not After Hours, in future give a more reasoned response to a thread.

lookitsme

amdublin wrote: »

Okay.
A more accurate comparison would be: Do you normally invite people to parties and expect them to pay for their food?

I stand corrected, good point!

Sleepy

amdublin wrote: »

A more accurate comparison would be: Do you normally invite people to parties and expect them to pay for their food?

Nope, but I'd never turn up to one without at least a bottle of wine...

lookitsme

Sleepy wrote: »

Nope, but I'd never turn up to one without at least a bottle of wine...

EVEN BETTER POINT

CaliforniaDream

My boyfriend and I are heading to a wedding soon. It's two of our really good friends getting married.
It's costing us $2,500 in flights alone.
Money I can't really afford but want to be there to see my friends get married.

Should they expect a gift? Are we obliged to buy something anyways or deemed 'scabby' if we don't?

Some responses here are insane. You chose to invite someone to your wedding. It says a lot more about you if you cry about not getting a card or present than it does about the guest.

woodchuck

Sleepy wrote: »

Nope, but I'd never turn up to one without at least a bottle of wine...

It might be considered rude to show up empty handed, but I think it's even more rude to expect someone to bring something.

tinkerbell

CaliforniaDream wrote: »

My boyfriend and I are heading to a wedding soon. It's two of our really good friends getting married.
It's costing us $2,500 in flights alone.
Money I can't really afford but want to be there to see my friends get married.

Should they expect a gift? Are we obliged to buy something anyways or deemed 'scabby' if we don't?

Some responses here are insane. You chose to invite someone to your wedding. It says a lot more about you if you cry about not getting a card or present than it does about the guest.

Definitely no gift whatsoever. Get them a card wishing them well, but that's it.

rustopher

ah, i never gave a present to friend who got married. wasnt on purpose, just time passed, never say her much but bought a nice baby gift for their first. she didnt know as sent me the thank u card regardless.

who cares!! at least i went, just dont get married if bothers u that much!!!!

dylanchloe

There were a few people at our wedding that didnt give gifts. For most of them I didnt really mind, we asked them to the wedding as we wanted them to share in our day, but there was one particular couple that really annoyed me by not even giving a card. They were part of the bridal party and are both in VERY well paid jobs. We paid for their accommodation for the night, they have no kids, werent drinking (apart from the free wine), clothes for the day were covered by us so there wasnt huge expense on them. I just don't understand why there wasnt a card. I think it's bad form!