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Grumpy Old Neighbours!

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  • 30-05-2012 12:48am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭


    My first AH post, if it's too long for you just read the last bits, you'll get the jist :P

    I have never seen either Mr or Mrs Grump smile. I've only ever got dirty looks from them. The are probably in their mid to late sixties and they have lost all happiness from what I can tell.

    Two weeks ago my girlfriend walked through their driveway on her way to next-door-but-ones, and out comes Mrs Grump, hands on hips and gives us the mother of dirty looks....

    The following week I came home to a letter from the dog warden telling me that there had been a complaint about my dog barking, that it needs a license and that I'm to keep her on a lead when walking. I'm sure they made the complaint as a punishment for crossing through their property. Fair enough I should have had a license(I do now) but the dog is tiny, doesn't bark, sleeps inside and is under control all the time.

    After the letter from dog warden I knocked on neighbours door and asked if he had reported the dog,he said he had, because it keeps him awake, I told him the dog doesn't bark and that I'm not going to argue with him over this petty incident and that I have nothing more to say on the matter, and left it at that.

    Then on Saturday as I returned from walking the dog (on the lead) I see him filling his compost wheelie bin with branches from his back garden, which has a cherry tree which has/had two branches that overhang into my garden. I go to the back window to watch him cut off the overhanging branches, let them fall into my garden and then stand back and admire his handy work.

    The branches stayed in my garden until this morning as I stewed over what to do with them or where to stick them.. I decide to leave them beside his wheelie bin so he can dispose of them. While I'm out, his wife throws them back on my side.... I put them back beside their bin and go off to work...
    At 6.30 this evening my OH calls me saying that Mr Grump has just put the branches in the middle of our front garden as I'm on the phone she asks him what he's doing, he mouths the words fcuk you, shows her the 2 fingers a few times and toddles off into his house, leaving her speechless and shocked... I called the guards but I doubt they can do anything in this petty matter...

    I finish work at 1:30am so the branches will stay where they are tonight... BUT...what should I do with them??
    But them into his wheelie bin? and see what happens next.
    Put them into my wheelie bin? and hope that's the last of it.
    Put them through his letter box?
    Make him eat them?

    I wont be blasting them with anything!!


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,082 ✭✭✭Squ


    Tried skipping to the end, but got interested, so skipped back a bit more, then a bit more..



    Momento


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,198 ✭✭✭du Maurier


    Called the Guards?! Hahaha. That's real numpty behaviour.


  • Registered Users Posts: 515 ✭✭✭full_irish


    ....and follow thread.....:D

    I feel like Mr. Grump will be joining Feeky over in legendary status in the not to distant future.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 8,867 ✭✭✭eternal


    RMy neighbours don't even acknowledge me. I say hello and nothing. I think you're overreacting, they are looking to get to you because they are empty inside. Fucck them and get on with your life.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Am I the only one who would be interested to hear the other side of the story?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭Wattle


    Try and see if you can get him to say: 'I DON'T BELIEVE IT!'


  • Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭The Internet Explorer


    Sprinkle them with piss.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    Step away from the miserable neighbour..
    I repeat........ Step away


    This is just the start

    If he sees that you are going to play his petty bullsh1t game, he has you.

    and then you are humped(not in a good way;))

    He is defo testing the water with you OP seeing if you will take the bait,

    Have you ever seen those "Neighbour's form Hell" type shows?????


  • Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭AdamB


    Wattle wrote: »
    Try and see if you can get him to say: 'I DON'T BELIEVE IT!'

    He actually looks a bit like Victor...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,007 ✭✭✭Mance Rayder


    I'll see your cranky old guy and his dirty looks and I will raise you a street full of pyjama pram pushers, drug dealers, kids on motorbikes and junkies.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    Sex outdoors OP give mr and mrs Grump something to complain about, they might even join in, ye can have an orgy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,515 ✭✭✭LH Pathe


    A grumpy old neighbour is something to be.

    Til yer so fùckin worn out you cant even see.. so be sure to acquiant yoreselves; o'er a cup of tae.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,884 ✭✭✭✭Rothko


    Chop down the cherry tree and leave it in front of their front door.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,082 ✭✭✭Squ


    mishkalucy wrote: »
    Have you ever seen those "Neighbour's form Hell" type shows?????
    The 'Burbs.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,977 ✭✭✭Soby


    i say be the bigger man and put them in your bin and give him nothing to react too.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,140 ✭✭✭ciano1


    Take a dump in his porch
    That'll learn him!


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,977 ✭✭✭Soby


    ciano1 wrote: »
    Take a dump in his porch
    That'll learn him!

    Like to him move that back into the OP's front garden :P


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,171 ✭✭✭vixdname


    Be nice and friendly and invite them both over for a cup of tea to "Clear The Air" When you get them both over, beat them both repeatedly with a hammer to their heads until dead. Remove their clothing,Cut limbs from bodied and throw their remains into the pre dug hole you now have at the end of your garden.Cover the body parts with the lime you bought in B&Q and refill the hole with plenty of soil.Burn their clothes and was down the kitchen to get rid of any blood spatter etc.NOTE: Its good to have loud musoc playing while beting them with the hammer because unless you can use both hands with a hammer in each had at the same time, one of the victims will have the chance to scream...hence the loud music.......Mr. & Mrs. Grumpy no more....problem solved


  • Registered Users Posts: 16 martyf84


    Don't get involved in their petty games, kill them with kindness anytime you see them, it will eat them up inside


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    vixdname wrote: »
    Be nice and friendly and invite them both over for a cup of tea to "Clear The Air" When you get them both over, beat them both repeatedly with a hammer to their heads until dead. Remove their clothing,Cut limbs from bodied and throw their remains into the pre dug hole you now have at the end of your garden.Cover the body parts with the lime you bought in B&Q and refill the hole with plenty of soil.Burn their clothes and was down the kitchen to get rid of any blood spatter etc.NOTE: Its good to have loud musoc playing while beting them with the hammer because unless you can use both hands with a hammer in each had at the same time, one of the victims will have the chance to scream...hence the loud music.......Mr. & Mrs. Grumpy no more....problem solved

    Not a great choice of wording there vix considering the 94 year old woman who was violently beaten in her home during a break in died today(I'm sure it wasn't intentional, your quote not the beating;))




    Or was it...........................


    "Where were you between the hours of............"


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  • Registered Users Posts: 25,068 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    That's nothing. Some auld farmer that lives beside me has been threatening to shoot me and my dog for about 4 years. I walked on his land once with my dog on a leash and he seems to have some sort of mental disability which stops him from forgetting about it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 371 ✭✭Teagwee


    AH answer: Wait until the Grumps are having a BBQ/put washing out/have friends over. Start a fire in the garden with the branches and waft the smoke over. Add a few more smelly things to the fire to keep it going.

    Real answer: Deal with the branches yourself - stop playing their game. It can only escalate and there'll be no winners. As someone else said, be nice and cheery and appear unaffected. The best revenge for anything like this is to remain calm and seem not to be annoyed. This puzzles them.


  • Registered Users Posts: 24,065 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    Where To wrote: »
    Am I the only one who would be interested to hear the other side of the story?

    Yep.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    They're probably not happy that you and your girlfriend are living in sin!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 672 ✭✭✭Battered Mars Bar


    Sounds like something a sexy party could solve.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    mikemac1 wrote: »
    They're probably not happy that you and your girlfriend are still able to have sex!

    FYP:pac:


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭whatdoicare


    Just ignore them - throw the branches away in a ditch or something and carry on with your life.
    You annoyed them with your dog - they annoyed you with branches - call it even and keep away from each other.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,596 ✭✭✭anniehoo


    Right, in pedantic neighbour terms (this is what you do when you own a gaff, you need to know the rules before kickin off).The tree is his, it has encroached on your property boundaries...so do what ya like with the 2 branches tbh. Its his tree, it grew over his wall into your area...no comeback on his side.

    Unless your dog is a Restricted Breed under the Control of Dogs Act (11 breeds) your dog doesnt need to be on a lead in a public place, just under "your control".Make of that what you will, this "Act" is crazily lax even for RBs in this country.

    If this sounds petty to anyone to doesnt own a gaff...just WAIT! You're in for a whole bundle of Family Guy fun when you sign off on that mortgage :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,026 ✭✭✭grindle


    Ah, grumpy old people... Past it with bliss.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,273 ✭✭✭emo72


    anniehoo wrote: »
    Right, in pedantic neighbour terms (this is what you do when you own a gaff, you need to know the rules before kickin off).The tree is his, it has encroached on your property boundaries...so do what ya like with the 2 branches tbh. Its his tree, it grew over his wall into your area...no comeback on his side.

    Unless your dog is a Restricted Breed under the Control of Dogs Act (11 breeds) your dog doesnt need to be on a lead in a public place, just under "your control".Make of that what you will, this "Act" is crazily lax even for RBs in this country.

    If this sounds petty to anyone to doesnt own a gaff...just WAIT! You're in for a whole bundle of Family Guy fun when you sign off on that mortgage :D

    and being uber-pedantic, the branches are his property. you are entitled to cut them if they encroach on your property. but you must put anything you cut into his property. cos its his property, naturally. he cut them left them in yours, so you should be able to give them back.

    seems the least of your problems though. welcome to hell.


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