Obsessive and scary behaviour

LegacyUser

Hey Folks,

Im going annoymous for this one and I hope you can give me some advice on what to do.
I'll try to keep this short as possible. Been seeing my bf since last July with a 2 month break up last Oct/Nov. This was due to him finishing things with me because he was "confused" and didnt know what hw wanted but in that 2 months met another girl and began a relationship with her which to my shock i fond out on Facebook.
Any way we decided to give it another go in December but since this he has becoem almost obsessive with me. He wants me to let him know where I am at all times, if I dont answer my phone when he rings he'll keeoing ringing until I do. He has more or less stopped me from seeing my friends and family ( I live 2 hrs from home due to work). he believes that a couple should be together ALL the time. I've started to get really stressed because of this behaviour and I feal as if im not allowed any time for myself as he expects me to b with him.

Last night I decided to go see my friend which he wasnt happy about. Anyway we got chatting and time flew by and when I looked at the clock it was 1am. My phone had gone dead so I had no way to text him> I got home and seen that He had sent 10 msgs demanding to know where I was and I wasnt home at 1am as he had driven to my house to check up on me. I fell asleep and this morning at 5am i woke to stones been thrown at my window. I instantly knew it was him and i froze. I got up and let him in and I had to stand and listen to a tirade of shouting and roaring because i wasn't home earlier and what was I up to and accused me of seeing someone else. This isnt the first time this has happened. Anytime I go to see anyone he drives by my house to see what time im getting home and on occasion waited outside my house till I did get home at 3am.

Is this rational? He's beginning to scare me.

OP, you know it's not rational. Look at your own thread title

He's probably cheated on you before and thinks you're doing the same.
Dump him and move on. Never ever let a partner come between you and your family & friends, not ever
I'm serious - you need to leave him for your own safety

sexymama

Get out now!! You should not be scared of your boyfriend!
Trust your instincts and tell him it's over.No one should have to put up with this.
I am sure that other members will give you really constructive advice regarding this.

Good Luck

SM

Piliger

LauraSue wrote: »

Is this rational? He's beginning to scare me.

No. It's not normal. It's not rational. It's scary and it's unacceptable. It will only get worse, never better, mark my words.

ManOfMystery

End that relationship now OP. People like him rarely get better, but often get worse.

He's possessive, insecure and deceitful, and also (going by the stone throwing and constant questioning) bordering on aggressive. NO-ONE has the right to stop you seeing your friends and family. If he really cared about your feelings and didn't consider you to be a possession of his, he wouldn't be making such demands.

John Mason

OP, please run as fast as you can but before you do please have a safety net set up.

explain the whole situation to some reliable friends and have a safety code word where if you are in trouble all you have do is phone/text them with one word and will know you need help.

i know what i am talking about, you need to get away asap.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replys everyone. I just feel completely suffocated by him. He's got worse as time has gone by. I've never given him any reason to think I'd cheat on him, i do as he asks, when he asks. I've become completely isolated from my family who might I add are very unsure of him. I don't feel as if i can go do anything by myself without running it past him.
He believes that this is how couples work. I'm 28 and I've ben in 2 relationships before this and I've never felt like this.he was engaged to be married before and his gf called it of 6 months before the big day. he's neve really told me why she did this but somtimes I wonder was she experiencing the same behaviour.
He constantly talks about the future and getting married as soon as but when he doesnt get an excited or enthusiastic response he goes mad. If I dont txt back quickly enough, if I dont ring back quickly enough these also lead to huge rows.
I feel completly worn out by his behaviour all of which he explains by saying its only because he loves me so much.

LauraSue

LauraSue wrote: »

I feel completly worn out by his behaviour all of which he explains by saying its only because he loves me so much.

They all say that when they're being obsessive
there are other threads in this forum you can read to see there are similar situations with people freaking out, being obsessive and controlling and eventually harmful
This is not a normal healthy relationship, it is not making you happy, you need to leave
you are not under obligation to stay with someone and you can never, ever make his obsession or fears stop because they are about him, not you
the classic signs are trying to distance you from your family, telling you it's only because they care so much when they're in "good" mode, and yelling and being angry the rest of the time, trying to track and control every movement until you're stuck at home with no contact with the outside world doing nothing - and still it won't stop - if you even look at them the wrong way there'll still be yelling and freaking out

you only have one short life- don't waste it on this
find someone you deserve who makes you happy and is happy in themselves

P. Breathnach

sexymama wrote: »

... You should not be scared of your boyfriend!...

That's it in a nutshell.

I don't like to be directive in this forum, but this is a clear-cut case: finish it.

stargazer 68

Op read your posts and think logically. What would you say to a friend who was in that situation?? You would tell her to get out!

You won't 'change' him so don't think that it will get better over time - believe me it will just get worse. Get rid of him now and please please tell friends and family what is going on.

LegacyUser

Again, thanks for all the replys.
I ahve actually made nan attempt to finish it before but he started sobbing uncontrolably and saying that all he was doing was trying to make me safe and make me happy.
I felt wretched with guilt so didnt go through with it.
He tells he that all he thinks about is me, morning, noon and night, Every minute of every day and thats how much I mean to him.
He reckons that a couple should go out of their way as much possible to make sure the other person is happy, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness.
Now I beleive in doing my best by some one but giving up on your own happiness on a regular basis is a recipe of disaster.
I'm tryin to explain this to him all the time but he says I'm wrong and that I just havent had a proper relationship. he makes me doubt myself all the time. My brain is fryed!!!

LauraSue

LauraSue wrote: »

Again, thanks for all the replys.
I ahve actually made nan attempt to finish it before but he started sobbing uncontrolably and saying that all he was doing was trying to make me safe and make me happy.
I felt wretched with guilt so didnt go through with it.
He tells he that all he thinks about is me, morning, noon and night, Every minute of every day and thats how much I mean to him.
He reckons that a couple should go out of their way as much possible to make sure the other person is happy, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness.
Now I beleive in doing my best by some one but giving up on your own happiness on a regular basis is a recipe of disaster.
I'm tryin to explain this to him all the time but he says I'm wrong and that I just havent had a proper relationship. he makes me doubt myself all the time. My brain is fryed!!!

He's wrong and it's not normal
do you really think it's right to be with someone out of guilt and because they're confusing you into it? you know it isn't
once you have some space from him without pestering and emotionally blackmailing you, you'll see it clearly enough

remember again that you don't have to be with him just because you mean a lot to him - you're the other half of this and you have to put you first

stargazer 68

LauraSue wrote: »

I ahve actually made nan attempt to finish it before but he started sobbing uncontrolably and saying that all he was doing was trying to make me safe and make me happy.
I felt wretched with guilt so didnt go through with it.
He tells he that all he thinks about is me, morning, noon and night, Every minute of every day and thats how much I mean to him.
He reckons that a couple should go out of their way as much possible to make sure the other person is happy, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness.
Now I beleive in doing my best by some one but giving up on your own happiness on a regular basis is a recipe of disaster.
I'm tryin to explain this to him all the time but he says I'm wrong and that I just havent had a proper relationship. he makes me doubt myself all the time. My brain is fryed!!!

Op you know what he is saying is wrong. You need to just stand strong and finish it. I know its easy for us to say that and harder when you are in the position but put your 'thinking straight' head on and you will see that this behaviour is not normal.

How old are you both? Can't see that in any of your posts.

P. Breathnach

LauraSue wrote: »

...
He reckons that a couple should go out of their way as much possible to make sure the other person is happy, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness...

But what he is actually doing is sacrificing your happiness, not his.

It worries me that you need anybody to tell you just how wrong his behaviour is.

Beruthiel

LauraSue wrote: »

He wants me to let him know where I am at all times

In order to control your movements.

if I dont answer my phone when he rings he'll keeoing ringing until I do.

In order to control your movements.

He has more or less stopped me from seeing my friends and family

Controlling your movements in order to isolate you from everyone you care about. Soon, you will just be left with him as you loose your friends.

he believes that a couple should be together ALL the time.

No they shouldn't. It's unhealthy to live in each others pocket 24/7 and is a recipe for disaster.

I got up and let him in and I had to stand and listen to a tirade of shouting and roaring because i wasn't home earlier and what was I up to and accused me of seeing someone else.

You're mistake there was to 'stand and listen'. I would have thrown him out of the house and told him you never want to see him again.
The fact that you allowed him to behave like that towards you has basically given him permission to do it again in the future.

This isnt the first time this has happened.

So, how many times do you intend to put up with it before doing something?

Anytime I go to see anyone he drives by my house to see what time im getting home and on occasion waited outside my house till I did get home at 3am.

And you don't think this is bunny boiler behaviour?
He's nuts, and you know what, if a b/f did that to me, I'd freak out because only crazy people behave like that and I tend to try and avoid crazies at all costs.

He reckons that a couple should go out of their way as much possible to make sure the other person is happy, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness.

Wrong.
Couples work together to make sure both are happy in their relationship.
To give up your own happiness for someone else makes for one very miserable person.
Would I want my partner to be miserable in order to ensure my own happiness?
Of course not!

Run away OP.
Run away really, really, really fast and no matter what, don't look back!

Big Bag of Chips

He loves you....?
What about you? Do you love him?

Are you prepared to sacrifice your life, the only one you get, just so he's not"upset"? Spend the rest of your life constantly with a knot in your stomach because you mightn't hear your phone ring in your bag when you're in town? That's even if you're "allowed" to town by yourself.

Does he make you happy?
Does he make you feel safe?

These are the things he wants for you, so you need to tell him what he's doing is not working. Tell him he makes you feel scared, anxious and unsure.

If he truly wants you to he happy, he will make steps to change himself. (was he like this the first time you went out?) If he doesn't take your concerns on board, I think you have only one other option....

sexymama

Op please don't listen to him!He is just using emotional blackmail.
I am in my 40's and my mother had this in a milder context.She married my father not because she loved him but because she felt sorry for him(she did love him to start off with). She was only 20 and quite inexperienced of the world.He had no friends and when mum tried to finish with him he said he was going to put his head in the oven! Emotional blackmail.
Don't end up in this situation DON'T listen to his sob stories,that all they are.
Please get out now.As I said in my earlier post trust your instincts!

SM

Gyalist

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

He loves you....?
What about you? Do you love him?

Are you prepared to sacrifice your life, the only one you get, just so he's not"upset"? Spend the rest of your life constantly with a knot in your stomach because you mightn't hear your phone ring in your bag when you're in town? That's even if you're "allowed" to town by yourself.

Does he make you happy?
Does he make you feel safe?

These are the things he wants for you, so you need to tell him what he's doing is not working. Tell him he makes you feel scared, anxious and unsure.

If he truly wants you to he happy, he will make steps to change himself. (was he like this the first time you went out?) If he doesn't take your concerns on board, I think you have only one other option....

Actually, the only thing that she needs to tell him is that it's over and then take steps to protect herself.

Big Bag of Chips

Gyalist wrote: »

Actually, the only thing that she needs to tell him is that it's over and then take steps to protect herself.

I'm aware of that, but I generally try to steer clear of telling strangers online to end their relationship.. but more ask them the questions that will lead to them realising themselves that it is most probably their only option.

stargazer 68

Op I have a little tale that started like yours.

I used to work with a woman - very strong willed and took no nonsense from anyone. However she told me one night that her ex husband used to beat her up. I was completely shocked as I had known her for some time and never thought she would be take that from anyone.

Anyway she said she met him when she was younger and gradually he took control - a bit like you - not wanting her to see her friends and constantly checking up on her because 'he loved her'. The night of her wedding he gave her a black eye and it continued from there. She stayed because he was always sorry and cried etc.

What eventually made her leave?? He threw a knife at her one day and hit her in the back of the leg. This wasnt the first time however their 2 year old daughter was standing next to her and he narrowly missed her with the knife. She picked the baby up and left and never looked back.

Her story started, as I said, with little things that she thought were 'loving' and him 'caring' about her.

LegacyUser

LauraSue wrote: »

Again, thanks for all the replys.
I ahve actually made nan attempt to finish it before but he started sobbing uncontrolably and saying that all he was doing was trying to make me safe and make me happy.
I felt wretched with guilt so didnt go through with it.
He tells he that all he thinks about is me, morning, noon and night, Every minute of every day and thats how much I mean to him.
He reckons that a couple should go out of their way as much possible to make sure the other person is happy, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness.
Now I beleive in doing my best by some one but giving up on your own happiness on a regular basis is a recipe of disaster.
I'm tryin to explain this to him all the time but he says I'm wrong and that I just havent had a proper relationship. he makes me doubt myself all the time. My brain is fryed!!!

All damn lies. He doesn't care whether you're safe or happy, he only cares that you are there for him. And he doesnt think about you morning noon and night, he thinks about where you are.

"He reckons every couple should go out of their way as much as possible to make sure the other person is happy, even if it mean sacrificing their own happiness"
Think of that sentence in a logical manner, its a paradox and completely bull****.

Sounds like the start of an abusive relationship and I beg you to get the **** outta there NOW! You can't continue with this man. Eventually he will destroy your links with family and friends and you will only have him, then YOU will be terrified to lose HIM which he will know and then start treating you like **** making you more miserable.

Break up with him on neutral ground somewhere, preferably in public and let family friends etc know whats going on in case he loses the plot and calls to your house afterwards. But don't be afraid of him of him, thats what he wants.

tinkerbell

OP, you are in an abusive relationship. Your boyfriend sounds like an absolute psycho, I'm actually fearful of your safety as this is gonna get way worse. Walk away from him now and don't look back. And tell your friends / family about it, you will need all the emotional support you can get right now.

Oryx

Abusers always use love as their excuse. They do it because you are unreasonable, and they care so much.

Please, there is only one thing to do here. I really hope you have the courage to do it.

Please get away from this toxic relationship. He will not get better, in spite of any promises, even though you think and hope that he will.

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone. I think I know myself that this is never going to work. I just would love for someone to pick me up and set me down a month from here when I dont have to worry anymore.
Its just actually having to tell him, I have no idea how to go about it without him starting to cry and blame this on me because I havent behaved like the perfect girlfriend that he wanted. I know i'll feel guilt ridden regardless of his behaviour of late.

Oryx

LauraSue wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I think I know myself that this is never going to work. I just would love for someone to pick me up and set me down a month from here when I dont have to worry anymore.
Its just actually having to tell him, I have no idea how to go about it without him starting to cry and blame this on me because I havent behaved like the perfect girlfriend that he wanted. I know i'll feel guilt ridden regardless of his behaviour of late.

It does not matter if he blames it on you. It doesnt even matter if you believe him when he blames you. It matters that you remain firm in the knowledge that you need to leave him. Remember you were not put here to keep him happy and calm. You are here to look after your own happiness. Hold onto that thought if he rants.

The only way out, is through this.

BraziliaNZ

LauraSue wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I think I know myself that this is never going to work. I just would love for someone to pick me up and set me down a month from here when I dont have to worry anymore.
Its just actually having to tell him, I have no idea how to go about it without him starting to cry and blame this on me because I havent behaved like the perfect girlfriend that he wanted. I know i'll feel guilt ridden regardless of his behaviour of late.

Maybe do it in front of someone else, he's less likely to start blubbering in that case. He will however start calling/texting you constantly you as soon as you and your friend leave. Just try and get it across to him that you're not attracted to him, you never will be, and no matter what happens you wont be getting back with him.

squonk

The other posters have put it well. Leave and get out.

Can you take time off and go home? If you can, just do that early some morning. Get his number blocked or just change your number but, first, ring him and tell him that it's over and that you don't want him to contact you again. Just be brief but firm and hang up before he has a chance to blubber. Make sure you're on your way to where you're giong when you do this. If he was quick enough getting with someone else the last time, it won't take him long this time either no doubt.

Normally I'd never say break up with someone via phone (except for fun) but this isn't a normal circumstance and you owe it to yourself to protect yourself first and above all else. Look into getting time off and away from your area. It's easier for a family member to field calls if he tries ringing your own place, or just go to friend for the first week where he doesn't know your location. Make sure your family know what's going on though.

I am a friend

I agree with the last poster. This guys behaviour is too unhinged for you to meet him on your own to tell him. In this case, for your own safety, it's acceptable to do this by phone.

If he asks why you can explain his behaviour make you feel unsafe and you don't want to be with someone who does that. Dont let him bully you into meeting and just sat your piece then cut the call short if he starts.

Best of luck

sam34

hi op

first, I just want to reiterate what others have said- this is an abusive relationship and for your own safety you need to end it.

but you need to be prepared for the fact that this guy will try to emotionally blackmail and manipulate you into staying. there's a good chance he'll threaten suicide in an attempt to make you stay. DO NOT be taken in my this. it's pure manipulation. if he threatens it, simply tell him he's responsible for what he does ( despite what he may say about you driving him to it) and advise him of places like the Samaritans, his gp,a&e etc. then go and don't look back.

tinkerbell

OP, excellent advice on here. I think the best case in this scenario is for you to break up with him over the phone, don't meet up with him - who knows what he could do. Good luck.

BarackPyjama

OP - this guy is a textbook abuser. You need to end it immediately as there is no future for this relationship. Take it from someone who's been there.

Break up with him in a public place, walk out and never look back.

Fluorescence

OP, here's a checklist of signs that you are in an abusive relationship. Have a read through, and get strength from the fact you're not alone. He will probably threaten to hurt himself, even kill himself, and insist that he acts the way he does because he loves you. It's a lie. People like him don't feel love, they only feel security from the complete domination of another human being.

Ring him up, say it's over, and then go lay low with your family/friends for a while. You'll get through this, don't let him make you feel guilty. He doesn't deserve your pity.

pwurple

Agree, by phone is the safest way. Also see if you can arrange to stay with someone for a few nights in case he shows up.

If he goes crazy with the texts i would get his number blocked as well.

I had to do this with a boyfriend once. Very hard task, you have to force yourself to be quite cold to manage it.

branbee

Op, wrote you a post there but then realised you had decided you want to leave him. Best of luck with this. You'll get your life back and you'll be happy. Trust me!

dellas1979

It is at the moment because you have to deal with it, but his behaviour is not your problem. It is his. He owns it, he has to deal with it.

And I stongly agree with one of the other posts that you are allowing him to carry on his extreme behaviour. You are enabling him. If someone has bad behaviour and you just endure it, you are in fact letting them know that its ok, and they'll keep carrying on until you put a stop to it.

By no means am expert on relationships, but a relationship with a partner should make you feel secure, loved and you should thrive from it.

There is actually a very good thread in the ladies lounge at the moment about the honeymoon period of a relationship, and you should read it. Because if the person is right for you (ok-we are all individuals with different quirks and within reason things that annoy the partner) you should thrive, and they should want you to thrive. He is only stomping you out/breaking you down. And to be honest, you are one of the lucky ones who has noted and acknowledged that this is not right. Alot of ladies out there might have the "oh but shur he loves me so much" line (the one he is feeding you) and believe it.

Teresa kirkham

I know someone in the same situation , it's very very hard but u need to think to the future . And u only have one life

Ham Sambo

Hi ya.
First of all I would let a sibling or close friend know what is happening, secondly I would finish with him, his actions as you describe are a little OTT and are not those of a rational thinking man. Best of luck.

The Lovely Muffin

If my boyfriend started behaving the way yours is OP I would be out of our relationship so fast my head would spin.

• Stopping you from seeing your friends and family
• Continiously rings you until you answer
• Drives by your house to check up on you
• Throwing stones at your window at 5am
• Shouted and roared at you because you weren't home earlier
• Accuses you of seeing someone else
• Waits outside your house sometimes
• He's scaring you

As sexymama said you should never feel scared of your boyfriend.

He will only get worse OP, not better, worse.

You need to get out now. If/when you do leave him, can you go somewhere else so you can lay low for a while? Maybe a friends house or a family members house?

Also, if he continues to drive by your house and wait outside, it might be better to move to a different address, but if you are going to live in the same area you are living in now then he could easily figure out where you live and even if you moved to a different area he could still figure it out by following you or something. I don't want to scare you OP, but these are possibilites which you need to think about.

His behaviour is absolutely not rational/normal/healthy/acceptable etc. You know this OP.

As others have said, if you do leave him, it might be better to do it in public or do it when you have a friend/family member present. I wouldn't trust him to tell him by myself, I'd be terrified of what he might do.

Good luck OP, I hope it all works out for you.

OldNotWIse

Hi OP

I have been through similar in the past. I stayed with my ex for 5 years and for the last 4 years of that she was jealous, possessive, tried to put between me and my family etc. She made me feel bad for visiting them once a week and hated when my Mum called me on the mobile in the evenings. She even had me convinced that my family were trying to come between us, so that I might stay away from them. She was an alcoholic and often took my last five euro to buy 4 cans of beer midweek or ten fags.

I eventually left when I went home one night after being out with friends. She had lost her key so was waiting for me. She got into such a temper that I wasn't there to let her in that she smashed in the front door, all the garden furniture ended up in a pool I had in the garden for the dog (who needed it for rehab). I was so afraid. She was screaming and shouting at me about how selfish I was etc. I was too afraid to call my parents in front of her. I went upstairs and called my dad, terrified she would see me. When he answered, I just whispered, "Can you come and get me and the dog" and he said he had been praying for that phonecall for over 3 years. When he arrived, she went insane as she knew she had finally lost her control over me. I never looked back. Even when I returned for my stuff the next day and she tried the crying and sobbing and pleading approach. I stayed strong and left.

Bullies will use whatever tactics they think will work on their victims. Control, fear, jealousy. They will wheel out the sympathy card - "your family hates me" or anything else that will tie you to them.

Five years I will never get back, and five of some of the best years at that. I remember talking to my Mother after and she told me she always prayed that I would come home. I asked why they didn't intervene before if they knew I was unhappy. She said it was my place to realise my mistakes, and she feared she would push me away further by intervening. I wish someone HAD intervened but at the end of the day, it's a move only you can make. You live and learn. Only you can know when it's time for you to leave, but when you start asking the question, that is the start and eventually, you will. I hope for your own sake that you reach that point soon, and I hope that you stay safe and protected.

LegacyUser

HI everyone,

Thanks so much for all your replies and for taking the time to read about my problem. I went home to my parent at the week end to get away and after filling my Mam in on everything that was going on i built up the courage to put an end to the relationship. Yesterday I met him and told him I no longer wanted to carry on and that I just couldnt cope with his behaviour and that I was completely smothered and overwhelmed by his controlling manner. Of course he didnt take it very well and told me that I was just like all the others, leading him up the garden path and dumping him like a piece of rubbish and so on. He said i've hurt him badly and that after "everything" he'd done for me I was just going to walk away. he started crying and got very angry but I just said that was all I had to say and that I was leaving.
he did say some very hurtful things that made me feel really guilty but I suppose I nedd to be selfish now. My phone is switched of for now and I have another number my family and close friends can get me on. I've gone to visit my sister for a few days and then i'll see what to do after that. obviosuly I need to return to work but i need a little time out for now. I don't feel at all happy just yet but hopefully this will come in time.
I do feel relief though, like a big weight is lifted.

Again thank you all for posting the last few days, the support has been brilliant and helped give me the boost I needed to get where I am.

Beruthiel

Well done Laura.

Fluorescence

Congratulations! That took balls and I bet it wasn't easy, so fair dues to you. Now just keep yourself busy with your family and friends for a while, and don't worry about returning to work too soon. You've just saved your life, so celebrate while the sun shines

ManOfMystery

Well done.

No doubt he will try every tactic in the book to get you back, and promise you the heaven and earth. Stick to your guns!

Taltos

LauraSue wrote: »

..just like all the others, leading him up the garden path and dumping him like a piece of rubbish and so on...

If you feel regrets or start doubting yourself - as well as reading your original posts read the above...
"All the others" - he has not learnt and never will... Always someone elses fault..

Well done on making the hard decision OP.

tinkerbell

Well done OP, you should be very proud of yourself. As others have said, stay strong and keep away from him. If you feel your judgement is waivering and he's trying to convince you to take him back, re-read this thread again. Best of luck OP, it will only get better from here on

P. Breathnach

I'm delighted for you, OP, and I admit to feeling great relief.

You have done the hard part; do not, whatever else you do, give him an inch.

squonk

Well done OP! I didn't expect you'd move so soon! That's great news! Don't dwell on the hurtful things he said. Hurtful comments are easilly doled out and you should only take notice of the ones that come from those you really care about. In that case they're either in pain of some sort or trying to tell you something, but he's outside of your sphere of concern right now so just try to forget about them. Like any breakup, you can't make his hurt go away and it's something he'll have to deal with on his own. Judging by his remark that you were like the others, he's obviously not learning from his mistakes or willing to see any pattern in what's happening in his life. Let him to it.

Don't worry about work just now. It'll be there when you are ready and at some stage the distraction will help you move on but right now it's very early days. It's a glorious day out there and you've your whole life ahead of you now to do what you want with on your own terms so get out and enjoy the sun and chill out for the next few days. Keep the main phone off and leave it off for a week or two or until you're ready to turn it back on. Those who want to find you already have your alternative number! Best of luck!

sexymama

Taltos wrote: »

If you feel regrets or start doubting yourself - as well as reading your original posts read the above...
"All the others" - he has not learnt and never will... Always someone elses fault..

Well done on making the hard decision OP.

+1


Well done LauraSue! Please don't give in to him or listen to his sob stories.As everyone else says,stick to your guns.
With people like him it's always the other person's fault.They will never believe that they are in the wrong and are always right.

Good Luck!

SM

LegacyUser

Well done, OP.

The insults and tears just confirm you took the right decision. Every man or woman should feel their heart flutter every time they see their man/woman, not feel a sense of dread.

There's a lucky man out there who will make you feel as you should. Don't worry. It may not be tomorrow, or next week, but he's there.

Ham Sambo

Well done you, might not think it now but you did the right thing. Best of luck and I hope you find a guy that is good to you. Best of luck.

curlzy

Very Very well done OP I'm so glad for you and kinda relieved I have to admit. I was worried that he might have got to you and convinced you to stay or that we'd see a heart breaking news story about a girl called Laura Sue. So again, very well done, you've done the right thing. And genuinely, thanks for letting us know you're ok.