Communion Money

davet82

My daughter made her communion over the weekend and made a whopping 800 euros. I was wondering what other parents made they're child do with theirs money? - credit union, let them blow it, made them buy clothes or took a portion of it to pay for the day ect

hoodwinked

what my mum did was put half in to the bank,

put 25% into new clothes that i wanted,

and let me spend the last 25% on toys/stuff i wanted at the time, that was 20 years ago however,

she did the same for my sister, (my brother insisted on depositing all of it into his bank account the clever cloggs! He bought his car last year from his savings! :pac: )


so its up to you i guess,


is there something she wants that you will allow her to have eg: game console, certain branded products, jewellery, clothes? etc....

Annabananna

I am now 29 so it 20 odd years ago but my mam told my money and paid for cake and some of the party and then put the rest in the bank put she bought myself and my sister to the toy shop to get whatever we wanted one present each then a outfit each so basically she used the money i give her to trat me and sister so really it was a way of including my sister and it was the same when she made hers to this day we chat about the fun we had that day whenever we hear about the communion season

snubbleste

€800! :eek:

littleredspot

Slightly off topic op, but as the next 3 weekends will be spent at communions/confirmations, what's the going rate to put in the envelope? Friends and cousins kids in Dublin.

(Many moons ago my Communion money got me a toy, a small treat for each of my siblings and the rest started my savings off)

davet82

littleredspot wrote: »

Slightly off topic op, but as the next 3 weekends will be spent at communions/confirmations, what's the going rate to put in the envelope? Friends and cousins kids in Dublin.

(Many moons ago my Communion money got me a toy, a small treat for each of my siblings and the rest started my savings off)

depends, some family members put 50 and some put 10, it depends on their circumstances as the reccessions has hit every body, but most cards had 20 euro in them which i think is more than fair imo

seamus

littleredspot wrote: »

Slightly off topic op, but as the next 3 weekends will be spent at communions/confirmations, what's the going rate to put in the envelope? Friends and cousins kids in Dublin.

A fiver. What does an 8 year old need with any more than that?

nicowa

In my family communion money went to our parents - usually to pay the mortgage as we were never well off. Conformation money went to the credit union. Now my sister gets them to put money towards the bouncy castle for the day, a toy and savings.

Ans ya, 800? Mad...

CrazyRabbit

seamus wrote: »

A fiver. What does an 8 year old need with any more than that?

Nintendo DS Games of course!

florawest

When my two children made their communion, have one more to go, put over half in credit union, spent some and gave some to charity so everyone happy

bullvine

Yeah, I have the same issue, my Daughter made hers on Sat, 700 she has now. She doesnt have a need for anything either at the moment. Its a incredible amount of money though. I am gonna put have it in a savings account at least, and let her buy some with the rest.

The Princess Bride

All of our children have their own savings account.
Son made his confirmation recently and between that,communion and birthday money over the years, has almost €1500 saved.
He's only 12, but has his heart set on a car and college down the line.

I never give money as communion or confirmation presents- I don't like this idea that children/parents have,that they will be lining their pockets because of the day.
I usually give vouchers or prize bonds- and it's nice when the children send a "thank you " card.
Nice, but a rarity.

planetX

I'm still applying for loans from my sons communion money:(

Hannibal Smith

Jees its like a lotto win 800 quid! Remember folk used to say....'i bet he still has his communion money....too right if its 800 quid! lol

silly

My daugter made her communion 3 yrs ago, she received around the €800 mark too.
She wanted roller skates, so they cost her about €25, the rest is in her bank account.
Her confirmation was a different story, she made that recently, and recieved about €600 - she bought an ipad and literally blew the rest. I regret not taking more control over that money - but she bought some clothes and stuff in claires. I think there is €20 left and i might try and convince her to put that into the bank...but pigs might fly.

stickybean

My daughter made just over €800 as well last year, we let her spend €100 on toys and we were going on holiday so she paid for her own flight (€220 and she brought €80 as her spending money). We had a very expensive year last year, we got married, had a holiday and had her communion, so when her nanny suggested she paid for her flight and she was happy to go along with it we let her. She was very proud of herself!!!

She has the remainder in her credit union.

The Lovely Muffin

When I made my communion my money went into the bank.

When I made my confirmation, I bought a phone, my mother gave me half of the money towards it, I got some new clothes and the rest went into the bank.

Personally with a sum of €800, I'd allow €100 for clothes/toys/treat and the rest goes into the bank/credit union for her.

I didn't save properly when I was younger and regret it. I wish my mother was stricter with my when I got money for birthdays/Christmas etc, if she'd insisted on me saving it, I'd have decent savings now.

davet82

she has always wanted to buy a dog, so i dont mind her doing that with her money and the rest going to the credit union and a small fee for mammy and daddy to help them get through to the next pay day as day cost us a fortune!

i couldnt remember what i had done with my money when i made mine, so i asked my mother, as i could remember it was a big amount too as i come from a big family, and turns out i paid for our first trip abroad, wish i had thought of that first

hoodwinked

davet82 wrote: »

i couldnt remember what i had done with my money when i made mine, so i asked my mother, as i could remember it was a big amount too as i come from a big family, and turns out i paid for our first trip abroad, wish i had thought of that first

thats so mean though! :eek: parents shouldnt be counting on their children to make them money,

fair enough if they bought their siblings a small gift or a cheap toy of some kind, but paying for a family holiday just seems mean and somewhat like theft to me.


it wouldn't sit right with me taking money from my daughter, i am her parent its my job to provide for her, when shes legally an adult then yes its fair game, but taking money from an 8 year old? its like taking candy from a baby

cloud493

800 euro :eek: I got £5 and a WHsmith voucher :mad:

davet82

hoodwinked wrote: »

thats so mean though! :eek: parents shouldnt be counting on their children to make them money,

fair enough if they bought their siblings a small gift or a cheap toy of some kind, but paying for a family holiday just seems mean and somewhat like theft to me.


it wouldn't sit right with me taking money from my daughter, i am her parent its my job to provide for her, when shes legally an adult then yes its fair game, but taking money from an 8 year old? its like taking candy from a baby

i was actually only jokin bout the holiday thing myself, i wouldnt sit right with me either...

as for my parents using the money for a holiday, it was different times, i was younger than kids would be now making it plus it was the best holiday ever so i wont hold it against them

planetX

my family are English - I got nothing.
No, I went down to the local shop in my get-up and got a free bar:)

plumpote

For both my Communion and my Confirmation it all went into the post office. I was in there the other day and heard a boy putting money in to his account-his First Holy money. It was his first time to put money in and he was really pleased with himself!

Victor

I was 29 before I spent my communion (all) and confirmation (vast majority) money.

While I have given my older nieces money, the 8 year old got money she couldn't spend: http://www.centralbank.ie/paycurr/collector/PublishingImages/FullsizeImages/2012%20EUR20%20Gold%20Proof%20Coin.jpg

http://www.centralbank.ie/paycurr/collector/pages/coinsets.aspx

ash23

My own communion money went on clothes. I got £130 and was brought on a shopping spree to Dublin. I don't think I spent the full amount so I'd say the rest was sank into the family pot.

My own daughter made her communion last year. She got about €500. All she wanted was a trampoline so she got that.
The rest went on various things. Spending money for our holiday, summer camp, clothes etc.
She wasn't told how much she got and I had total control over it.

silly

hoodwinked wrote: »

thats so mean though! :eek: parents shouldnt be counting on their children to make them money,

fair enough if they bought their siblings a small gift or a cheap toy of some kind, but paying for a family holiday just seems mean and somewhat like theft to me.


it wouldn't sit right with me taking money from my daughter, i am her parent its my job to provide for her, when shes legally an adult then yes its fair game, but taking money from an 8 year old? its like taking candy from a baby

I think the same.
My daughter was buying a copy book for school the other day and she asked will she pay for it with her own money, but that didnt seem right to me. I am her mother and i felt that i should be the one buying the boring stuff like that.

ash23

silly wrote: »

I think the same.
My daughter was buying a copy book for school the other day and she asked will she pay for it with her own money, but that didnt seem right to me. I am her mother and i felt that i should be the one buying the boring stuff like that.

Meh, I make my daughter pay for certain things out of her birthday/communion/christmas money.

I put a roof over her head and food on the table, keep her warm and dry. I buy 95% of everything she needs. If she happens to want a specific item of clothing or a book or something and she happens to have the money to pay for it, then I don't see the harm in letting her pay for it.

bullvine

From last weeks communion, shes putting half the 700 into savings account, I have taken 50 towards her football for next year, shes bought new football gear, boots and a body warmer that she needs. I'd normally have to pay for this stuff, and she got some clothes and earphones for iTouch. So I think its worked out well for everyone. She still has around 150 left i think which we might just put in the bank as well.

silly

ash23 wrote: »

Meh, I make my daughter pay for certain things out of her birthday/communion/christmas money.

I put a roof over her head and food on the table, keep her warm and dry. I buy 95% of everything she needs. If she happens to want a specific item of clothing or a book or something and she happens to have the money to pay for it, then I don't see the harm in letting her pay for it.

well, yes, i'm the same, she wanted a tracksuit in penneys, and she didnt need it, so she paid for it herself. If she wanted a book or earrings from Claires accessories then she pays for them herself. She bought 2 gold fish and a gold fish bowl herself etc.
But i just felt when it came to buying a maths copy for school, that that was my department.

SillyMangoX

I got around the 6-7 hundred euro mark, I think I bought myself and my brother games for the gameboy and everything else was put in a closed account. Got a bit less money for the confirmation, I bought myself a dart bord and some new clothes and the rest was put into the account along with a portion of birthday and Christmas money over the years. I wasnt allowed touch the account until I started college and although I only dip into it in emergancy Im so glad its there.

kildare.17hmr

Our eldest made hers too last weekend and made over €500, she kept €75 to spend and the rest went in the post office because she said she wants to bring her iwn money on holidays this year, no argument here!

gerarda

800 euro?? I remember going up to the local sweet shop after making my communion with 1 pound in my pocket and was happy with that. (I made about 50 pounds which went into the post office) My buddy had a fiver, he asked the shop assistant how much are the bon bon's, he said 1 penny. Then you could see him doing the calculations in his head, then he jumped with excitement! Mr! Gimme five hundred bon bon's!!

deisemum

I got 50p. I didn't have much of an extended family as a lot of them died as babies.

There's no way I'd take any of my childrens money off them or expect them to pay towards their party, that just seems so wrong. That's up to parents to cover such costs. My children saved most of their money and kept some to buy themselves a treat.

Sam Mac

silly wrote: »

ash23 wrote: »

Meh, I make my daughter pay for certain things out of her birthday/communion/christmas money.

I put a roof over her head and food on the table, keep her warm and dry. I buy 95% of everything she needs. If she happens to want a specific item of clothing or a book or something and she happens to have the money to pay for it, then I don't see the harm in letting her pay for it.

well, yes, i'm the same, she wanted a tracksuit in penneys, and she didnt need it, so she paid for it herself. If she wanted a book or earrings from Claires accessories then she pays for them herself. She bought 2 gold fish and a gold fish bowl herself etc.
But i just felt when it came to buying a maths copy for school, that that was my department.

I remember I bought terrapins and a tank with my confirmation money - they died about a month later and cost €25 each (I bought two) and the tank was €100 so that was the end of that

davet82

deisemum wrote: »

There's no way I'd take any of my childrens money off them or expect them to pay towards their party, that just seems so wrong. That's up to parents to cover such costs.

i agree if you have it but there are some people out there on the breadline and if they needed to take 100 euro out of 800 euro made after paying maybe 300 euro for a party ect, i wouldn't critise anybody personally.

silly

davet82 wrote: »

i agree if you have it but there are some people out there on the breadline and if they needed to take 100 euro out of 800 euro made after paying maybe 300 euro for a party ect, i wouldn't critise anybody personally.

I'm a single mother on minimum wage, we didnt have a party that cost €300 because I couldnt afford it.

davet82

silly wrote: »

I'm a single mother on minimum wage, we didnt have a party that cost €300 because I couldnt afford it.

its unfortunate that not all people are as sensible as you but i guess some people let their hearts rule their heads and get themselves into messes trying to keep up with people that do have it

ash23

silly wrote: »

I'm a single mother on minimum wage, we didnt have a party that cost €300 because I couldnt afford it.

One year my daughter decided to pay for her birthday party out of her Christmas money because I couldn't afford to have a party for her. Her choice and while I didn't feel so great about it, it was her choice and I went with it.

OldNotWIse

Gawd, I made sixty pound in 1991 :rolleyes: Wonder why nobody has mentioned donating a percentage to a children's charity...

hoodwinked

davet82 wrote: »

its unfortunate that not all people are as sensible as you but i guess some people let their hearts rule their heads and get themselves into messes trying to keep up with people that do have it

but that isnt the childs fault, if a person needs their child to bail them out financially for keeping up with the joneses that doesn't reflect well on the parents.

ash23 wrote: »

One year my daughter decided to pay for her birthday party out of her Christmas money because I couldn't afford to have a party for her. Her choice and while I didn't feel so great about it, it was her choice and I went with it.

this is my point, no parent likes to let their children down, a once off birthday party is nothing because to be fair ill bet you went all out to make it up to her in other ways

just like children shouldn't be financing events like communions for their parents, its not like its an event that pops up unexpectedly, you know its coming from the day they are baptized. that gives plenty of time to save, and not need your child to pay a 'fee' to the parents towards the cost of the day,

or worse letting them pay for holidays, put it this way if your child couldn't afford the flight would you leave them at home? thats a good gauge on who should be paying for it!

davet82

hoodwinked wrote: »

but that isnt the childs fault, if a person needs their child to bail them out financially for keeping up with the joneses that doesn't reflect well on the parents.

i'm not talking about keeping up with anybody, if your child is in a class of 30 children and 29 of them children are having a party and your child is feeling left out and wants a party, i can see how some people who cannot afford it, get themselves into financial trouble over it and let the child contribute to the party they wanted. I dont think think that reflects on badly on any parent giving a child what they want?

ash23

hoodwinked wrote: »

just like children shouldn't be financing events like communions for their parents, its not like its an event that pops up unexpectedly, you know its coming from the day they are baptized. that gives plenty of time to save, and not need your child to pay a 'fee' to the parents towards the cost of the day,

or worse letting them pay for holidays, put it this way if your child couldn't afford the flight would you leave them at home? thats a good gauge on who should be paying for it!

That's not really accurate or realistic.
I was in a crap financial position when my daughter was born. Then I went to a great financial position and then back to a crap financial position.
Some people are barely keeping a roof over their heads or food on the table. Some people are choosing between heat and food. Saving for a communion isn't a priority for some.
If the child chooses to pay for their family holiday or if the parent has to take the childs communion money to put oil in the tank. Or if the child would be disappointed by not having the communion party and the parent knows they can pay for it and then use the gift money to repay what they paid, then so be it.
Plenty of people pay for weddings on the basis of the gifts they will receive going to pay for the wedding afterwards.
I'd imagine the same is true for many trying to pay for birthdays, communions, confirmations etc.

I don't think it's "stealing" from a child.

hoodwinked

davet82 wrote: »

i'm not talking about keeping up with anybody, if your child is in a class of 30 children and 29 of them children are having a party and your child is feeling left out and wants a party, i can see how some people who cannot afford it, get themselves into financial trouble over it and let the child contribute to the party they wanted. I dont think think that reflects on badly on any parent giving a child what they want?

again that really isnt what being a parent is about, your child is going to want a million things, you don't have to give it to them, its your job to be a parent not their best friend.


and out of a class of 30 to be fair (and realistic) you will have those not even making their communion (and thus no parties)


like wise there is no need to get into debt even having a party, you could organise a small family only party in your house with food for €50. i saw dresses reduced in debenhams for €36 it can be done for cheap people just dont WANT to. they want their child to have the designer dress like suzie down the road.

blowing a fortune on a communion you cannot afford is not a good thing, and making your children contribute to you blowing money is wrong. At least with weddings (and i dont agree with this either you should stay within budget and not count on gifts) its money given to the couple that the couple use,


with communions that money was given to your child not you, taking someone else's money is theft unless you intend to pay it back to them!

davet82

hoodwinked wrote: »

again that really isnt what being a parent is about, your child is going to want a million things, you don't have to give it to them, its your job to be a parent not their best friend.


and out of a class of 30 to be fair (and realistic) you will have those not even making their communion (and thus no parties)


like wise there is no need to get into debt even having a party, you could organise a small family only party in your house with food for €50. i saw dresses reduced in debenhams for €36 it can be done for cheap people just dont WANT to. they want their child to have the designer dress like suzie down the road.

blowing a fortune on a communion you cannot afford is not a good thing, and making your children contribute to you blowing money is wrong. At least with weddings (and i dont agree with this either you should stay within budget and not count on gifts) its money given to the couple that the couple use,


with communions that money was given to your child not you, taking someone else's money is theft unless you intend to pay it back to them!

now in all fairness i think you know that giving a child EVERYTHING they want is not what i ment. I'm just talking about giving them pretty much want they want for this special day.

realisticly i think i'm closer to the mark than you think on the parties in the class imo.

this may come as a shock to you but 36 euro is too much for some people in the times we're in. i really dont think its all about keeping up with people.

I actually agree with you, i wouldnt make MY children contribute to anything, yet i can afford it, i wouldnt critise anybody for doing otherwise though is all i'm pointing out.

ash23

hoodwinked wrote: »

with communions that money was given to your child not you, taking someone else's money is theft unless you intend to pay it back to them!

But if you use it for the mortgage one month, having put a roof over the childs head every day for 18 years, then so what?

Would people prefer that the money was kept in a savings account while the child went cold/hungry so the parent wasn't using it for the family?

Or would people rather see a child do without a birthday party every single year, never get to go on a school tour or get a day out because that child has money in their savings account and their younger siblings don't so none of them can go?

I think that if money is tight then money gifted to the children is fair game for their needs. All their needs, not just "special" things.

I know in our house the money went into one "pot" and my mother chose how it was used. We got some of it but mainly it was used in a communal pool for the things we ALL needed. Not just one of us.

eaglej13

florawest wrote: »

When my two children made their communion, have one more to go, put over half in credit union, spent some and gave some to charity so everyone happy

to charity,
thats my wifes name, eternally gratefull!!!

silly

ash23 wrote: »

But if you use it for the mortgage one month, having put a roof over the childs head every day for 18 years, then so what?

Would people prefer that the money was kept in a savings account while the child went cold/hungry so the parent wasn't using it for the family?

.

getting a bit carried away here talking about starving children etc..

The only point I was making was, if you cannot afford to have a communion/confirmation party costing €300, then you shouldnt have it. You can still have a party, I dont understand how a party could cost that much anyway!! I had one for my daughter's confirmation recently, my sisters and brother and parents all came to our house afterwards, bowl in hand. I laid on food myself and my daughter and her cousins had a great day.

ash23

silly wrote: »

getting a bit carried away here talking about starving children etc..

The only point I was making was, if you cannot afford to have a communion/confirmation party costing €300, then you shouldnt have it. You can still have a party, I dont understand how a party could cost that much anyway!! I had one for my daughter's confirmation recently, my sisters and brother and parents all came to our house afterwards, bowl in hand. I laid on food myself and my daughter and her cousins had a great day.

I'm not really. I've had weeks where I've had to choose between food and heating. That's life for some people.

My point is that you might not have €300 but you might know your child is getting €300 and they desperately want a communion party. So the parent pays for it and uses the money they get in gifts to pay for what they really want - the party.
Of course the parent could skip the party and use the money for toys/clothes that the child doesn't really want or need.
What's the difference?

silly

ash23 wrote: »

I'm not really. I've had weeks where I've had to choose between food and heating. That's life for some people.

My point is that you might not have €300 but you might know your child is getting €300 and they desperately want a communion party. So the parent pays for it and uses the money they get in gifts to pay for what they really want - the party.
Of course the parent could skip the party and use the money for toys/clothes that the child doesn't really want or need.
What's the difference?

There is a big difference between clothes and a bloody party imo!

ash23

silly wrote: »

There is a big difference between clothes and a bloody party imo!

Would it bother you if the child spent all it's communion money on a new games console and games?
If it spent all it's money on hoodies from Abercrombie and Fitch and Nike Hi-tops? Is it acceptable to spend €800 on designer clothes or should the child spend it all in Pennys because you think it should?

Just because you personally don't think a party is a priority, doesn't mean you can dictate the importance of a party to someone elses child.
Or accuse parents of theft for using the childs own money for something the child wants that you personally find frivolous.

silly

ash23 wrote: »

Or accuse parents of theft for using the childs own money for something the child wants that you personally find frivolous.

I never mentioned the word theft, or implied it.

Again, the point I was making was........
A party doesnt have to cost €300 - there is no need for anyone to have to spend so much on a party because their friends are having a party...