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In labour and Bored!!!!!!

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  • 11-05-2012 10:54am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭


    Hi Guys,

    I'm about 7 hours now in labour and it's as bloody boring as hell, I'm here in bed watching tv and chatting online. If I could get my husband to do the decent thing and get things moving quicker by doing what he did to get me like this in the first place, I'd be doing alright, any suggestions?


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Coal1978 wrote: »
    any suggestions?

    shout at the baby and tell them to hurry up?


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,434 ✭✭✭✭El Guapo!


    Push


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    Coal1978 wrote: »
    Hi Guys,

    I'm about 7 hours now in labour and it's as bloody boring as hell, I'm here in bed watching tv and chatting online. If I could get my husband to do the decent thing and get things moving quicker by doing what he did to get me like this in the first place, I'd be doing alright, any suggestions?

    join fine gael they are a much bigger party than labour


  • Registered Users Posts: 969 ✭✭✭some random drunk


    You should really quit Labour. They've been awful in government and will likely get hammered at the next election.

    Edit: Never mind, the joke about labour/The Labour party was made above


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Coal1978 wrote: »
    Hi Guys,

    I'm about 7 hours now in labour and it's as bloody boring as hell, I'm here in bed watching tv and chatting online. If I could get my husband to do the decent thing and get things moving quicker by doing what he did to get me like this in the first place, I'd be doing alright, any suggestions?

    I'm not sure if unprotected sex is the solution to your problem. But if you really do be wanting it, I must advise himself may be put off at the chance of face fúcking the kid...


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  • Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 13,491 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    Imagine how big your lady garden entrance will be for a few weeks after the birth. For your husband it'll be like opening the window and f**king the night!


  • Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon




  • Registered Users Posts: 43,881 ✭✭✭✭Basq


    Coal1978 wrote: »
    If I could get my husband to do the decent thing and get things moving quicker by doing what he did to get me like this in the first place, I'd be doing alright
    Don't think it's a good idea for him to be drinking this early in the day..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,015 ✭✭✭CreepingDeath


    Start demanding random things from your husband, sending him on a treasure hunt for egg whisks or the like.

    Then, once he's collected them all, tell him you're not sure whether it's his baby or not.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    I'm not sure if unprotected sex is the solution to your problem. But if you really do be wanting it, I must advise himself may be put off at the chance of face fúcking the kid...

    I'd tell him to go for it - it's about your only chance in life of getting a ride & blow job simultaneously.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,808 ✭✭✭FatherLen


    you're going to poop in front of a room full of people.


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    You positive it's not just a good shìte you need?

    It's happened to me before.


  • Registered Users Posts: 43,881 ✭✭✭✭Basq


    I must advise himself may be put off at the chance of face fúcking the kid...


    Schmidt, you slay me!


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    I'd tell him to go for it - it's about your only chance in life of getting a ride & blow job simultaneously.

    Proper fúcked bai! :pac:


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,455 ✭✭✭✭Mr.Crinklewood


    - Eat spicy food.

    - Are you and the husband stubborn? If so this may have transferred to your child, tell them NOT to come out and they will pop out like George Michaels cock in a restroom.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    If your in labour then having sex wont hurry it up, you need to start shouting and moaning like all women do, to vary it for others around you huff, puff and pant every so often. You could also walk around bent backwards holding your lower back and make whining noises. Think thats about all....hope it goes well!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    drink lots of guinness to see if you have a black baby, it works for sh1te ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭Coal1978


    antodeco wrote: »
    For your husband it'll be like opening the window and f**king the night!
    haha I'm laughing so hard at that, I think this could do the trick


  • Registered Users Posts: 24,061 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    You should really quit Labour. They've been awful in government and will likely get hammered at the next election.

    With your user-name, you must know that you don't need an election to get hammered.


  • Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 13,491 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    Get your child benefit claim form. Locals around here seem to use that for helping popping out babies


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭funk-you


    Reach in a give the fecker a slap for wasting your time. Start as you mean to go on.

    -Funk


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭Coal1978


    No, I'm not rolling around sweating and huffing and puffing. It's weird, I just get a pain every so often then it goes, I did feel like I was going to be sick earlier but that's gone. One born every minute on channel 4 is a LIE!


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,196 ✭✭✭CardBordWindow


    Can we do a poll to name the baby?

    Atari Jaguar would be a cool name to have!


  • Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 13,491 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    Do you remember when your one in V (1980's version) gave birth to that lizard baby? That was awesome!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    Can we do a poll to name the baby?

    Atari Jaguar would be a cool name to have!

    that or Sinclair Spectrum Z81 for truly awesome power ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 43,881 ✭✭✭✭Basq


    antodeco wrote: »
    Do you remember when your one in V (1980's version) gave birth to that lizard baby? That was awesome!
    And that baby became Katy Perry...

    .. maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Coal1978 wrote: »
    No, I'm not rolling around sweating and huffing and puffing. It's weird, I just get a pain every so often then it goes, I did feel like I was going to be sick earlier but that's gone. One born every minute on channel 4 is a LIE!

    You sure it's not just gas?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭Coal1978


    Can we do a poll to name the baby?


    We are calling him Hades


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 586 ✭✭✭Mickey Dazzler


    You want your husband to fuck your childs face on the way out? Is that some new form of extreme attachment parenting?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    so OP are you looking forward to having a fanny like a bowling alley?


This discussion has been closed.
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