Gay parents with children...

skoomi

Hi folks,

I'm not anti-gay at all, I'm just curious about same-sex couples who have children.

For example, a same sex couple that has a male child. Do you look forward to your male child having girlfriends and going on dates and possibly making babies with the girlfriend etc.? Or would you prefer if your male kid turned out to be gay?

Sorry if this question seems a bit thick, but that's unfortunately the average joe's level of knowledge about the LGBT community.

If you folks could maybe direct me to parenting threads gay couples have made here in the past I could read through them and learn a bit. It's something I've always been curious about.

foggy_lad

skoomi wrote: »

Hi folks,

I'm just curious about same-sex couples who have children.

For example, a same sex couple that has a male child. Do you look forward to your male child having girlfriends and going on dates and possibly making babies with the girlfriend etc.? Or would you prefer if your male kid turned out to be gay?

Sorry if this question seems a bit thick, but that's unfortunately the average joe's level of knowledge about the LGBT community.

If you folks could maybe direct me to parenting threads gay couples have made here in the past I could read through them and learn a bit. It's something I've always been curious about.

It is the best sort of Question if it is asked honestly!

Same sex couples in committed relationships where one or the other has child(ren) or where adoption takes place etc will be no different to your own parents in that they will want the best for their Children and will fight anything that threatens the security and wellbeing of their children.

If I was lucky enough to be in the position of being in a committed relationship with one or more children I would absolutely relish the prospect of seeing a son or daughter of my partner preparing and heading off to their debs with their girlfriend or boyfriend after hopefully seeing their relationship grow and develope for some time!

Being in relationships is all a part of growing and learning and being a well rounded individual and I would want that for any child I had an interest in including the several nieces and nephews I currently have.


Please be aware that my views and opinions may differ from the politically correct clinical views of some GBTL/LTGB/BLTG/LGBT organisations who would fight and argue over which letter goes first rather than fight for what is best for people!

skoomi

skoomi wrote: »

Do you look forward to your male child having girlfriends and going on dates and possibly making babies with the girlfriend etc.? Or would you prefer if your male kid turned out to be gay?

Sorry if this question seems a bit thick, but that's unfortunately the average joe's level of knowledge about the LGBT community.

It is nice that you added this little qualifier at the end as it at least makes it sound like you are being genuine in your inquiries - more than we can say for a small minority who ask such questions - and I am going to assume as much in my reply.

I am not gay myself but I am in a relationship that is very different to the "standard" one in our society - which places me more in the LGBT community than in the straight in many ways - so I think I can at least answer with some experience too.

The issue is however that I think the qualifier itself is wrong in that I think the root of your question has nothing to do with your knowledge of the LGBT community but rather to do with a problem with your impression of parenthood. Alas an impression more people hold than I would care to guess at.

Parenting is about loving, nurturing and supporting your child in becoming their own person and what they want to be. It should not really be about hoping they become one thing or another and being let down if they do not. Some parents even think their role is to mould their children into what they want them to be.

Whether a straight or gay parent your only concern should be with your child's happiness and helping them attain it. Their path to getting there is not really something you should be hoping to dictate to them. Your role is to be there with them on whatever path they end up on.

If a child turns out gay then this means that there are certain hardships ahead of them of course. It is not an easy thing to be in todays world as the anecdotes from gay person after gay person on this forum will attest. But this does not mean they are going to be any more happy or less happy than anyone else. We all have hardships to face in life and just because those of the gay community might be different to our own does not mean they will be less or more happy in life by default.

So to answer your question I hope my children - the daugher I have now and the three children we are currently planning to have in the future - turn out happy and I hope I have a role to play in helping that happen. That is all. Whether they do that as a straight person or gay person is incidental.

floggg

As above.

Just to say, gay people are just people. We don't really think all that differently from straight people (apart from about sex etc) or have any hidden agendas.

As a closet case I used to think gays were all very strange and different too. Turns out they are not - a lot of us don't even like Kylie or glitter!

More often than not, if you wonder how a gay person would react or deal with a given situation, just ask yourself how would you deal or react to it.

foggy_lad

floggg wrote: »

a lot of us don't even like Kylie or glitter!

:eek::eek::eek:

What ya mean ya don't like Kylie or glitter???

Annasopra

skoomi wrote: »

If you folks could maybe direct me to parenting threads gay couples have made here in the past I could read through them and learn a bit. It's something I've always been curious about.

Maybe read through some of this

http://www.conorpendergrast.com/my-family-and-civil-partnership/

http://www.marriagequality.ie/getinformed/me_publications/voices-of-children-report/

skoomi

So would you prefer your child to turn out gay or straight?

Hamhide

me personally, I wouldnt care if my kids were gay or straight.As long as they were happy

the_syco

skoomi wrote: »

So would you prefer your child to turn out gay or straight?

Couldn't give a flying **** once the kid was happy and healthy, tbh.

28064212

skoomi wrote: »

So would you prefer your child to turn out gay or straight?

99% of parents or prospective parents (straight or gay) will answer that the same way: I'd prefer my child to turn out happy

Annasopra

skoomi wrote: »

So would you prefer your child to turn out gay or straight?

I don't think Id care once he/she was happy in life