is control the main reason for non drinkers?

another new one

I've never touched a drink in the 20 years that I've been alive but my main reason is conerning control, letting yourself go infront of others, be it people that you know well or people who just happen to be out and about, that just doesnt come naturally to me it seems and I've noticed from reading some of the posts in this section that other people have this same point.

So I'm just wondering apart from people who have bad incidents etc obviously with alcohol, is the inability to lose control the main reason out there for a persons choice to never take up drinking alcohol?

a fat guy

I think that it's less about loses control and more about how vulnerable you are and how it's just not worth it the morning after.

For example, despite not drinking, I'll bet that most people here still go nuts on a Saturday night. I know I do. Once you realise that you can have the same amount of fun without drinking, then drinking becomes pointless.

libnation

I purely just couldn't handle the stomach problems, wasted hangover days, memory loss, having no money etc. I loved and still love going wild in front of people and being centre of attention but I actually don't think I need drink to do it. I decided to give up totally because I can't drink socially as it tastes rank and it always dehydrates me.

another new one

so seen as how you have come from drinking to non drinking do ya really think non drinkers are missing out on anything at all or is it just a thing drinkers say to every non drinker they meet?:rolleyes:

iCosmopolis

I don't post here, but I seen your post come up and it was funny as I was only thinking about that earlier today-had popped into my head about why some people need to make excuses to others about why they don't want to drink for any reason, and it got me thinking about some friends that never really did.
One friend I've known since we were v early teens, he's 38 and only tried drink twice, when he was well into his 20's-a snakebite (didn't like taste) and some mead later (threw up) and that was it. He's hyper and loves a night out but a need to drink just didn't register. His folks liked a glass of wine, but were moderate and never made a taboo of it having a mediterranian attitude of the kids can have wine with dinner if they want etc. (the kids never bothered) and didn't make a big deal of it, and was a very happy relaxed home with little focus on it.
My other friend (39) has nearly a mortal fear of having a drink,ever, his dad had been a nasty violent drunk and left when he was a toddler, and even though he can't remember him he knows it caused heartache and his mam had a problem with it for a few years then (overdoing it, but lovely lady)and just never went there, even as a teen.
A female friend (34) just never got into drinking,though loves going out. She had parents who didn't drink much and didn't put any big focus on alcohol

libnation

another new one wrote: »

so seen as how you have come from drinking to non drinking do ya really think non drinkers are missing out on anything at all or is it just a thing drinkers say to every non drinker they meet?:rolleyes:

The sensation of being drunk is a weird feeling but the costs far far outweigh the benefits, trust me on that one. I could write an essay.

If you feel left out ever - don't. The grass is not greener on the other side.

languagenerd

It's one of my reasons, sure, but not the only one. I don't like the idea of not being in control of myself in general, whether with other people or not. While I might enjoy it at the time (I don't know, I've never been drunk!), I think I'd feel horribly embarrassed the next day thinking about how I might have acted. Plus I have bad enough balance as it is, I hate to think what injuries I might get if I was drunk in heels :P

Also, I've been on nights out where a friend has disappeared on her own at 4am and where another friend had a bad fall, and I hate to think what would have happened if two of us (in a large enough group) weren't sober enough to deal with those! That was more an advantage than a motive though, I don't want to be the minder either!

BroomBurner

libnation wrote: »

The sensation of being drunk is a weird feeling

I would agree with this. I don't think it's really about the control personally, it's more that I just don't like feeling drunk. Don't like the weird dizzy floor-spinning sensation. It reminds me of being sick with bad flu or something, so there are no positive connotations whatsoever.

another new one

BroomBurner wrote: »

I would agree with this. I don't think it's really about the control personally, it's more that I just don't like feeling drunk. Don't like the weird dizzy floor-spinning sensation. It reminds me of being sick with bad flu or something, so there are no positive connotations whatsoever.

Ever feel like your missing out on anything though?
Or ever have the moments when your friends start doing the 'ever get so drunk that...' where your left staring into space wondering what the big deal with drinking is?
Or whats even the deal with getting to the point where you cant seem to remember half the events from the night before?
I've had far too many of them!!:rolleyes:

another new one

languagenerd wrote: »

I don't like the idea of not being in control of myself in general, whether with other people or not. While I might enjoy it at the time (I don't know, I've never been drunk!), I think I'd feel horribly embarrassed the next day thinking about how I might have acted.

I feel exactly the same about it all! I just dont get what attracts people to get drunk but I guess its like what they say, you dont know what anythings like till you try it maybe? But I still would feel motified at the thought that I could have possibly said anything to anyone or done anything due to the intake of a few drinks the night before!

BroomBurner

another new one wrote: »

Ever feel like your missing out on anything though?
Or ever have the moments when your friends start doing the 'ever get so drunk that...' where your left staring into space wondering what the big deal with drinking is?
Or whats even the deal with getting to the point where you cant seem to remember half the events from the night before?
I've had far too many of them!!:rolleyes:

I used to drink, but didn't particularly like it, so no, I never feel like I'm missing out.

There are definitely moments of boredom listening to other people's drinking stories, but it depends on the story really. Also, when someone is old enough to know better and is still peddling drinking stories that involve "I had <gives list of drinks consumed> and I was loaded" it gets boring. Doesn't make me think I'm missing out though.

languagenerd

another new one wrote: »

Or ever have the moments when your friends start doing the 'ever get so drunk that...' where your left staring into space wondering what the big deal with drinking is?
Or whats even the deal with getting to the point where you cant seem to remember half the events from the night before?

There's always the fun of trying to convince people that they did something mental the night before though :pac:

"Jayyysus, what did I drink last night?! Me head's wrecked!"
"I dunno, man. You were pretty well on though, you were up dancing on the table with some random guy from Italy. I don't know where you found that rabbit, mind..." :P


Nah, in all seriousness, yeah, it can be boring listening to those (other times it's really funny listening, even if you can't add to the conversation). For me, the advantages of not drinking are better than the disadvantages on a whole though - more money, feeling fine the next day, no fear of what you may have done... Some people might say that it's boring, but I've had great nights out without it too. As long as the music's good and the people you're with are happy drunks rather than aggressive/sleepy ones, it's all grand

gillapino

i'm a similar age to you OP, drank a little bit before, just cause wll 17/18 all my friends kinda started, never really like the feeling of being drunk i always just felt really dizzy or tired, then started seeing some of the embaressing stuff my friends were doing when they were wasted, so just kinda stopped drinking altogether. Also had a relation who had a lot of problems with drink. Also the feeling next morning was awful, aswell as the money! some friends would spend 50euro or more on a night out! i'd be like i'd buy a nice new handbag or dress for that price ! i also dont really like night clubs, just not my scene! loadsa messy drunks,and really loud club music! I've lost a few friends tho, from making the descision but meh not too bothered werent real friends in the first place!

Daveysil15

gillapino wrote: »

i'm a similar age to you OP, drank a little bit before, just cause wll 17/18 all my friends kinda started, never really like the feeling of being drunk i always just felt really dizzy or tired, then started seeing some of the embaressing stuff my friends were doing when they were wasted, so just kinda stopped drinking altogether. Also had a relation who had a lot of problems with drink. Also the feeling next morning was awful, aswell as the money! some friends would spend 50euro or more on a night out! i'd be like i'd buy a nice new handbag or dress for that price ! i also dont really like night clubs, just not my scene! loadsa messy drunks,and really loud club music! I've lost a few friends tho, from making the descision but meh not too bothered werent real friends in the first place!

I'm in the same boat as you. I tried it for a while and just got bored of it. I've lost a few friends too because of it. I felt like a social outcast for a while, but I started doing other things and made some new friends so it turned out ok.

unreggd

Not really about control

Dont want to drink
Dont like beer
Rather save loads of money
Rather be able to drive to/from nights out [actually gives you more social opportunities]
None of the health detriments
Build natural confidence

I hate the idea that 'drunk you is the REAL you' - No, its not. When you're drunk, you're brain is under an unnatural poisoned state. It's basically mild, temporary brain damage

I hate the idea of having to lose all your inhibitions. It may make you appear more confident, but more often do things out of character, e.g getting into fights

My overall reason for not drinking is simple: I just dont want to

Ironman76

Drank from the age of 18-32. Went out religiously every weekend. Was drinking insane amounts from 27-31. Then started getting ill after even a few pints. It all came to a head when I met up with a mate for a World Cup match 2 years ago and was dying the next day, vomitting all day. Only had about 3 pints ? ?! I still have the odd bottle of beer at home or playing poker with the lads but this year I havent even been out.

The majority of pubs serve piss and quality has gone out the window. Also got tired of jackets being robbed on me etc and the sh*t youve to put up with on the way home from a night out. The cost of a pint is scandalous and it simply isnt worth it. Add to that taxi drivers robbing you blind (taking every turn away from the direction youre heading), is it any wonder ? ?!

TrollHammaren

unreggd wrote: »

My overall reason for not drinking is simple: I just dont want to

I think that sums it up nicely.

I'm 23 and have never touched a drink. I'm usually met with suspicion or some arsehole who sees it as a challenge to get me drunk when I tell people I don't drink. Well, not so much any more because the people I hang out with are usually cool.

The excuses I used to give were a mix of:

- Addiction appears to run in my family
- I behave badly enough without alcohol
- I need to stay in top shape for Judo
- I worked as a bouncer all throughout my undergrad so I've been exposed to enough drunkenness
- I like to remain fully in control of my faculties.
- I don't have the money to drink

The truth is, though, that I just have no interest in it. I could see the appeal in taking psychotropic drugs (not that I would), but I see no appeal in drinking alcohol.

I'm not one of those high-horse non-drinkers, though

Sunnyisland

Some of the many things and personal reasons why I stopped drinking alcohol was/is Not being able to remember so many things about my children growing up.
Time wasted in such a destructive way that became a lifestyle.
and the emotional scars that remain. I could say the hangover's but they are gone after a day or three.The negative memories still remain and have to be dealt with.
The effects my behavior has had on my relationship with my wife/partner/family and friends over the years


A thought just came to me that you younger people who are fighting this fight don't realize the cumulative effect years of abuse brings with it physically and emotionally.I remember saying I am not as bad as him looking at a fellow drinker but now realize the lifestyle I lived was so destructive to myself and other's around me.It definitely creeps up on you over the years.

cormacocomhrai

You could count all the drinks that I've hand in my entire life on the fingers of your two hands.I have no idea when I last tasted a drop. Anyway my epiphany was in college. I didn't drink before then and early in college I made the decision that I didn't like the taste of alcohol, didn't need it to relax and that the only reason would be to have the confidence to chat up women. I made the concious decision then that regardless of how long it took thatI would be able to approach women and chat them up stone cold, sober and that it would be me doing it and nothing else.

The other reason is that I'm stubborn so if I feel pressurised into doing something I'll often react the other way, even if the pressure is towards doing something pointless.



I haven't told many people that but that's it in a nutshell. In its own way its a shallow and superficial enough sort of a reason. My own experience is that people in Ireland look for some deep and meaningful reason as to why you don't drink. When I was younger people would assume that my parents were alcoholics etc. unfortunately I'm now of an age where people think that I might be a recovering alcoholic myself. :eek:

Genuinely, while there are certain things that I have missed out on, I'm glad I made the decision and think that I gained by it in, even in terms of craic on nights out.

Wonder83

That's interesting you say its control. I don't drink,never have and never will. Not about control just not something that ever interested me. Never got the point and certainly not from a religious or moral perspective. Is it a want?.

kjl

I feel I am hampered with drink, when I used to get drunk it was always a weird feeling that I didn't enjoy and I would always wake up the next day feeling like **** with regret and fear.

hcass

I kinda came across this thread but accident but had to post. A lot of posters seem to associate drinking with getting drunk when it is quite possible to drink and not get drunk. I do it all the time. I had crazy years from 18-26 when I got wasted and while I enjoyed myself it just got boring. I don't like the feeling of being drunk anymore either. So as soon as I get a hint of that woozy feeling (I am more in tune with my body now so am aware of it well in advance) I just stop drinking. So usually just two pints. I love the taste of beer but don't drink anything else.

I'm not for a second saying everyone should drink, I have friends who have never touched a drop and they party with us just the same but I do wonder why everyone seems to think drinking is all about getting drunk. Most of my friends are at a stage now in their lives were they are cutting back and drinking is about enjoying a pint or two of beer, not falling down drunk from shots and cocktails. The friends who are still getting wasted are the ones we generally try to avoid - no one likes to be around a pi$$ed drunk idiot who can't stand on his/her own two feet.

Sorry to go off topic just something that struck me from many of the posts on this particular thread.

TrollHammaren

hcass, I'm just speaking for myself here but the potential to get horribly drunk was never my sole aversion to drinking, it was only part of it. As I said, my reason for not drinking is that I don't see a single benefit of it. You mentioned that you like the taste of beer; I like the taste of Club Orange, which costs about half the price of a beer (maybe less)! For the people who worry about getting drunk, that's a genuine concern as there's no alcoholic who endeavours to be an alcoholic.

Mr. Loverman

another new one wrote: »

so seen as how you have come from drinking to non drinking do ya really think non drinkers are missing out on anything at all or is it just a thing drinkers say to every non drinker they meet?:rolleyes:

You are missing out on crazy nights which can only really occur if you are intoxicated.

Some people want to have these sort of nights in their life, some don't.

I go through phases where I give up booze for a while. I generally give up when I want a phase of stability in my life, for example, when I was doing my masters thesis I pretty much gave up booze for 6 months.

It's your life, so if you don't want to drink, don't drink.

deisedave

Mr. Loverman wrote: »

You are missing out on crazy nights which can only really occur if you are intoxicated.

Some people want to have these sort of nights in their life, some don't.

I go through phases where I give up booze for a while. I generally give up when I want a phase of stability in my life, for example, when I was doing my masters thesis I pretty much gave up booze for 6 months.

It's your life, so if you don't want to drink, don't drink.

This is the non drinking forum, if you want to preach about how good booze is gtfo to the alcohol forum.

hcass

TrollHammaren wrote: »

hcass, I'm just speaking for myself here but the potential to get horribly drunk was never my sole aversion to drinking, it was only part of it. As I said, my reason for not drinking is that I don't see a single benefit of it. You mentioned that you like the taste of beer; I like the taste of Club Orange, which costs about half the price of a beer (maybe less)! For the people who worry about getting drunk, that's a genuine concern as there's no alcoholic who endeavours to be an alcoholic.

I don't think you can compare a cheapy glass of carbonated junk to a beer but hey maybe I'm just a food (& drink) snob! If you had have said a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice maybe... Also, in a bar, club orange is actually more expensive than beer. As in a pint of beer vs a pint of club orange.

hcass

Mr. Loverman wrote: »

You are missing out on crazy nights which can only really occur if you are intoxicated.

I think you're wrong. You can have crazy nights out completely sober. The only difference is you'll have a better chance of remembering it.

Mr. Loverman

deisedave wrote: »

This is the non drinking forum, if you want to preach about how good booze is gtfo to the alcohol forum.

Not sure how you've interpreted my post as preaching how good drinking is.

The OP asked this:

do ya really think non drinkers are missing out on anything at all or is it just a thing drinkers say to every non drinker they meet?

And I answered with this:

You are missing out on crazy nights which can only really occur if you are intoxicated. Some people want to have these sort of nights in their life, some don't. It's your life, so if you don't want to drink, don't drink.

I think perhaps you skimmed and had a knee jerk reaction.

I also think it is fallacious to say alcohol only has drawbacks. We know for a fact it has some benefits hence why so many people consume it so frequently.

hcass wrote: »

I think you're wrong. You can have crazy nights out completely sober. The only difference is you'll have a better chance of remembering it.

I think we have different definitions of crazy.

kerryjack

Ya we all have a different definition of a crazy night out and when your young and single you can get away with those crazy nights but as you get older it gets kind of embarrassing ,I do believe to have a real crazy night out you probably have to be locked out of your head ,maybe if there was a tread started of crazy stories when people were drinking and what happened to them on nights out ,it would be fun I think, A lot of people that give up the drink become very anti drink which is a pity , I would hate to be like that.

TrollHammaren

hcass wrote: »

I don't think you can compare a cheapy glass of carbonated junk to a beer but hey maybe I'm just a food (& drink) snob! If you had have said a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice maybe...

That is a good point, actually! Your orange juice example is better than mine, so we'll go with that! When I say I see no benefit I mean that when I eat or drink something I almost do a cost-benefit analysis (not literally; that would be weird) and I always see a better option than alcohol. I don't even drink Coke.

hcass wrote: »

Also, in a bar, club orange is actually more expensive than beer. As in a pint of beer vs a pint of club orange.

Seriously? Fúcking hell! I very rarely go to bars, but when I do I usually just drink water and don't stay very long. I also drink a shít tonne of juice so I'd order that if anything.

Mr. Loverman wrote: »

I also think it is fallacious to say alcohol only has drawbacks. We know for a fact it has some benefits...

I'm only speaking for myself here but I wouldn't argue that it only has drawbacks, I just see no benefit for me. It's not a big deal or anything, I just have no interest. As I said, I'd rather drink juice than beer because it tastes good and is healthy.

When you say it has some benefits, a few studies have shown some very mild benefits associated with a small amount of consumption, but they don't account for so many other variables. I read a study on the benefits of small amounts of red wine, but red grape juice offers the same benefits and more, and all for a quid in Aldi

Mr. Loverman wrote: »

...hence why so many people consume it so frequently.

If you mean for the health benefits, I don't think that's why people consume it frequently

Mr. Loverman wrote: »

I think we have different definitions of crazy.

I'd say most of my non-drinker friends have done some crazy stuff; the difference, I reckon, between drunk crazy and sober crazy is that only drunk people find drunk crazy funny. Well, most of the time, anyway.

I'm not anti-drink like a lot of non-drinkers, I just socialise in different ways and I don't believe that the default mode of socialisation in any culture should be to go drinking. Diversity and acceptance of dissent, I reckon, is what we need!

the_syco

Mr. Loverman wrote: »

You are missing out on crazy nights which can only really occur if you are intoxicated.

Some people that I know have such crazy nights, but won't remember what happened after pint number two the previous night.

Others need to use the booze as a crutch to let loose, but most of the non-drinkers who I know have found that they can have a laugh without the booze.

In reference to the OP's question, it depends.

If you used to be one of those that needed the booze as a crutch, but found you couldn't stop drinking more, then yes.

If you could go out and have a good time with or without the booze, then no.

Finally, some people stopped drinking booze for personal reasons, be it their jobs, their family, or how it effected their outlook on life.

languagenerd

hcass wrote: »

Also, in a bar, club orange is actually more expensive than beer. As in a pint of beer vs a pint of club orange.

This is very sadly true. I ordered a glass of 7up at an awful club night and the barman asked me if I was sure I didn't want beer, because it'd be cheaper! I said no, he just shrugged and looked at me like I was mental

Mr. Loverman

the_syco wrote: »

most of the non-drinkers who I know have found that they can have a laugh without the booze.

Ah yeah I'm not saying you can't have a laugh without booze, I am saying there are certain types of crazy nights which can only occur -- for most people -- when they intoxicated as they would never do these things while sober.

Many people seem to like this (hence why so many people get so drunk) but obviously it is not for everyone.