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Does anyone know what an Irish prison is like?

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  • 08-05-2012 12:45am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 944 ✭✭✭


    Not that I have any intention of ever going to prison, I'm just curious, what's the food like and generally what kind of day would someone have?


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,635 ✭✭✭eth0


    "Slopping out"


  • Registered Users Posts: 882 ✭✭✭ygolometsipe


    like the country itself - only indoors.


  • Registered Users Posts: 55 ✭✭Brandog


    Soap and showers;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,759 ✭✭✭✭dlofnep


    Wide-screen teles, jacuzzis, free blow-jobs on fridays... Get to see movies 3 months before they come out in Irish cinemas. The craic is ninety so it is!


  • Registered Users Posts: 267 ✭✭Irish_wolf


    Went to wheatfield prison on a school trip when I was in TY. Feckers had access to a gym, a 5 star restaurant with a different meal every day of the month, playstations, the works. They had classes for all sorts of skills and workshops and art rooms and all sorts of facilities. More like a feckin' boarding school then a prison.

    Not saying we should treat prisoners like animals but it was a bit much.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 718 ✭✭✭stmol32


    dlofnep wrote: »
    Wide-screen teles, jacuzzis, free blow-jobs on fridays... Get to see movies 3 months before they come out in Irish cinemas. The craic is ninety so it is!

    It would want to be a really good wide screen telly to make up for having to give free blow jobs.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    how much are blow jobs other days?






    (totally gonna undercut his rates)


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,571 ✭✭✭newmug


    Anyone here ever been to prison?:confused: Officially like?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,759 ✭✭✭✭dlofnep


    efb wrote: »
    how much are blow jobs other days?






    (totally gonna undercut his rates)

    Fair trade.

    (Your pud-pud for a blow-job).


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    dlofnep wrote: »
    Fair trade.

    (Your pud-pud for a blow-job).

    a moment on the lips...


    a lifetime of STIs


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,792 ✭✭✭Gandalph


    Went to mountjoy for TY and it wasnt all that bad, I got molested in the womans section but thats about it


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    Gandalph wrote: »
    Went to mountjoy for TY and it wasnt all that bad, I got molested in the womans section but thats about it

    something tells me she wasn't the bottom...


  • Registered Users Posts: 882 ✭✭✭ygolometsipe


    newmug wrote: »
    Anyone here ever been to prison?:confused: Officially like?

    If your a Mod - look away now.

    Yes - used to be inside - dont know why either!

    Prison was nasty tho ( read the rules man! read the rules).


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,295 ✭✭✭Joe10000


    Ref. Bewleys, Sandyford.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    dlofnep wrote: »
    Wide-screen teles, jacuzzis, free blow-jobs on fridays... Get to see movies 3 months before they come out in Irish cinemas. The craic is ninety so it is!
    The 'Joy is supposed to be the best - real luxury. I keep committing crimes so I can get in there, seeing as it's clearly much better than life outside, but I just cannot seem to get caught... :(:mad:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,759 ✭✭✭✭dlofnep


    Dudess wrote: »
    The 'Joy is supposed to be the best - real luxury. I keep committing crimes so I can get in there, seeing as it's clearly much better than life outside, but I just cannot seem to get caught... :(:mad:

    Don't pay your household charge, earn free accommodation in the 'Joy! All the cool cats are doing it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    Not that I have any intention of ever going to prison, I'm just curious, what's the food like and generally what kind of day would someone have?

    Jaysus, you have a poor opinion of the people in AHs!:eek:

    You should ask Gordon, he writes to people in Prison.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,026 ✭✭✭grindle


    In Limerick prison (up to ten years ago, at least - may have gotten better or worse), they had Chorus (UPC) cable and a different dinner every day, on a sixteen day rotation, and scummers at the back of the yard throwing drugs and mobile phones in footballs, a gym and free education, and the opportunity to spend every waking moment with either their friends, or their friend's friends.
    Not a great place for "normal" people to go though.


  • Registered Users Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    Serious answer.

    - 8.10am Called and offered breakfast. (Cereal and Tea)
    They collect it from a servery and go back to their cells to eat it. There is no Dining Hall like in movies.

    - 9.15am Unlocked for workshops, school or jobs. All other inmates go to the exercise yard. If they 'stay back', they are declared sick in cell and must remain there for the day.

    - 12pm Fall in from yard, jobs etc for Dinner. i.e. Main meal of the day.
    Return to cells and eat it there.

    - 1pm Staff take their dinner break. Skeleton staff aka Dinner Guards on duty.

    - 2pm Unlocked again for work, school, exercise.

    - 4pm Fall in for Tea e.g. Soup and rolls, wedges and chicken, tuna salad.

    - 5pm Staff take a tea break.

    - 5.20pm. Unlocked for Recreation. Inmates play snooker, pool, table tennis, football, cards.

    - 7pm. Fall in. Inmates get hot water and milk for tea and 'Bang Out'.

    - 8pm Night Staff on Duty.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,561 ✭✭✭Martyn1989


    I visited Mountjoy in my first year of college as part of a health and safety module (which says it all really).

    The prison has its own nutritionist that ensures all prisoners get all the essentials. They have deliveries of fresh meat and vedge daily. The guard/head of kitchen that showed us around said that the menu is swapped and changed alot, but they had to find a balance of good and bad. They were getting chicken curry pies once a week but had to stop due to being too popular (prisoners coming over the counter at the guards for secounds).

    They come down collect all their meals and bring them back up to their cells and they still slop out etc. They have telly and if they can pay the rental fee they can get ps2's and games.

    The worst part seemed to be the size of the cells, originally built for one they either house 2 or have knocked the wall out between 2 cells and house 5. Infairness you'd barely have room on the floor to do press-ups or sit-ups. Seemed fairly cramped and they don't get out much ;)


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭BornToKill


    dlofnep wrote: »
    Wide-screen teles, jacuzzis, free blow-jobs on fridays

    Whether you want to give them or not!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    BornToKill wrote: »
    Whether you want to give them or not!!!

    With a username like yours, I'd say you feel right at home inside and have no bother getting them.....


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭BornToKill


    Omackeral wrote: »
    With a username like yours, I'd say you feel right at home inside and have no bother getting them.....

    Gotta get caught first before any badness happens!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,725 ✭✭✭charlemont


    grindle wrote: »
    In Limerick prison (up to ten years ago, at least - may have gotten better or worse), they had Chorus (UPC) cable and a different dinner every day, on a sixteen day rotation, and scummers at the back of the yard throwing drugs and mobile phones in footballs, a gym and free education, and the opportunity to spend every waking moment with either their friends, or their friend's friends.
    Not a great place for "normal" people to go though.

    I was on the D-Wing there over ten years ago and your making it sound like a great place, Fair enough the D-Wing was good but not half as good as your making it out. The education helped me a lot, Do you think prisoners shouldn't get education ? The gym was fairly crap too. Don't think any mobile phone is going to fit through the mesh nets either.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 892 ✭✭✭Motorist


    Omackeral wrote: »
    Serious answer.

    - 7pm. Fall in. Inmates get hot water and milk for tea and 'Bang Out'.

    - 8pm Night Staff on Duty.

    Im not even gonna ask what that is :eek:


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,645 ✭✭✭k.p.h


    People always say they have it easy in prison, and I suppose for some of the prisoners and the crimes they committed it is.. But in all fairness generally taking someone freedom away is a huge punishment. Up,Eat,Out,In,Eat,Out,In when the prison says so..You often hear the "oh yeah it's grand" but in all fairness anyone with a brain would think differently.

    You know the ol saying "variety is the spice of life", well one thing's for sure they ain't got that..


  • Registered Users Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    Motorist wrote: »
    Im not even gonna ask what that is :eek:

    Bang Out just means bang out your door. That's it!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,429 ✭✭✭Cedrus


    I visited Cork Courthouse last year on Heritage Open Day and we all trooped down to the holding cells, 10 minutes was enough wouldn't fancy spending a day in there. It was stuffy, stinking, all but one cell were windowless and there was a toilet in the corner. Everything was built to say "we trust you with nothing". They were heavily graffitied (even though we were told it's painted monthly) the usual "X is gay" and "Y was here" stuff but slightly more worrying "P grassed Q up" pity that poor fucher when he meets up with Q specially if he knows nothing about it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,026 ✭✭✭grindle


    charlemont wrote: »
    I was on the D-Wing there over ten years ago and your making it sound like a great place, Fair enough the D-Wing was good but not half as good as your making it out. The education helped me a lot, Do you think prisoners shouldn't get education ? The gym was fairly crap too. Don't think any mobile phone is going to fit through the mesh nets either.

    I wasn't trying to make it sound great, I was trying to make it sound privileged, which it is.
    Wasn't aware mesh nets were put up in the yards that long ago, but you can see from my post why they were.
    And, as glad as I am that the education helped you, the waste of resources doesn't justify the return for me, personally.
    Stats-wise, too much money pointlessly wasted on pointless wasters.
    If you're not one of them, it's great that the current system worked out for you, but the current system works out for far too many more of the worst of the worst.
    Should we have to put up with/provide unearned comfort to so many reprobates to save/provide comfort to the few worthwhile?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 969 ✭✭✭some random drunk


    Irish_wolf wrote: »
    Went to wheatfield prison on a school trip when I was in TY. Feckers had access to a gym, a 5 star restaurant with a different meal every day of the month, playstations, the works. They had classes for all sorts of skills and workshops and art rooms and all sorts of facilities. More like a feckin' boarding school then a prison.

    What's a 5 star restaurant? :confused:


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