Funerals

Paddy Samurai

Been at any good ones lately?

Might sound crazy.I know funerals are a sad occasion for people ,but they can also be a opportunity to have a laugh and catch up with old friends.

So far this year I have been to four funerals,the same amount as the previous twenty years.Three were "celebrations of life",ie: the people were elderly.The forth was a sad occassion of a young father dying before his time.But even at this funeral there was lots of stories,jokes and laughter during and after the service.

One funeral down in Mayo had a free bar and meal,another in Dublin had a three course meal ,linen tablecloths,massive flower arrangements at each table and a free round of drinks.For the meal there was 200+.
Some funerals must cost as much as a wedding?.

Before this year, the last funeral I was at I was a kid,so don't remember "celebrations of life" previously.

eth0

Going to funerals for a good time is all the rage ever since they made a filum about it

Bob_the_dog

They're deadly craic

Witchie

I'm beginning to feel like an auld wan coz have been going to so many funerals lately. Was at my 5th one yesterday in 2 months.

3 fathers of friends, cousins husband and granny of one of the girls who lost her dad in March.

The priest at yesterdays funeral had loads of funny stories about my mates granny and had us all laughing so that was nice.

For my cousins husband funeral there was a gorgeous meal in a top class restaurant but my heart was so broken over his death I barely tasted it.

A few years ago when my granny died we were all sitting in the chapel at the hospital before she was removed to the house and we all burst out laughing when my mums cousin said "she's the full of the coffin" as my granny used to always say "I'm the full of the chair". Then my cousin nearly set fire to the priest in the house with a candle.

Paddy Samurai

Witchie wrote: »

The priest at yesterdays funeral had loads of funny stories about my mates granny and had us all laughing so that was nice.

.

Yeah the priests at all the funerals I was at ,had people laughing as well.But not intentionally.
One priest mixed up the deceased with her sister. Another mentioned that one of the deceased's brother had also recently died .That was news to him.
Another priest spent 20mins rambling about labour pains been like death.No one had a clue what he was on about.
One thing that struck me at all the funerals is that all the priests left in the priesthood seem to be eccentric ,if not insane.

krudler

I dont wany anyone crying at my funeral, laughs all the way. no black suits and dresses either, wear what ye want, more fun the better. my grandads funeral was hilarious, my aunt was giving a speech about him in the church and had the whole place in tears of half laugh half crying, best way to get through them is to remember the great stuff about the person and not the fact they're gone.

shopaholic01

Paddy Samurai wrote: »

Yeah the priests at all the funerals I was at ,had people laughing as well.But not intentionally.
One priest mixed up the deceased with her sister. Another mentioned that one of the deceased's brother had also recently died .That was news to him.
Another priest spent 20mins rambling about labour pains been like death.No one had a clue what he was on about.
One thing that struck me at all the funerals is that all the priests left in the priesthood seem to be eccentric ,if not insane.

I'd say that a prerequisite for the job.

I haven't been to a good funeral in ages. I love the ones that end in sessions, after a couple of drinks people drop the 'wasn't he/she a great one' act and truth comes out. I don't mean in a malicious way, but you hear the funny stories and things the decreased would rather had been forgotten when they were alive.

I think funerals are the one thing us Irish excel at and we always give somebody 'a good send off'.


Goes off to check death notices

branbee

Ive only been to three funerals in my lifetime and the only thing that stands out to me about all of them is that the priests all made it about god, not the person that had died. Yeah i get that its a religious ceremony in a church but i still thought that was crap so I've arranged for a humanist ceremony.

Galwayguy35

People don't seem to go on a drinking session as much now as they did a few years ago. Around here the mourners are always invited to the local pub after the Mass for "tea and sandwiches". I assume it's much the same in other parts of the country as well.

Red Hand

Haven't been to a funeral for a few years. Not something I'm looking forward to as I grow older.

Captain Graphite

Paddy Samurai wrote: »

Some funerals must cost as much as a wedding?.

Indeed. There's a lot of money to be made from the funeral business. And that's something that I find really unsettling.

If I died in the morning, I'd hate for my parents to have to incur any financial cost for it on top of everything else. Throw me in a cardboard box and bury me in the back yard. Or burn my corpse and fire the ashes into the river. That's what I'd prefer; something with as little financial burden as possible.

merengueca

I remember when I was 11 at my Grandads blessing/funeral in England before we brought him home.. the church packed to gills and people stood outside, as sad as we all were some amount of pride. I don't remember the wake(s) as such but I know as we all headed down to Holyhead there were about 40 people in the convoy (we aren't travellers, just don't know another way to describe it) who decided to come over on the spur of the moment.
Travelled from Dublin down to Mayo stopping at all his favourite haunts on the old road to toast him.
Not a journey I'll ever repeat again with so many family and friends, just wish I'd been old enough to fully appreciate it and that he'd been there to lead the session...


My other Grannies funeral was fantastic, she wasn't a particularly nice woman which made it an event with very little sadness and another fantastic chance to get together with people not seen for years.

I work in London these days and last week a young lad in the office mentioned he'd just come back from his Grandads funeral in Galway, we were chatting away with an Indian descent lad in the office in shock at the way we were talking about a funeral being such fun...

Canis Lupus

I'm a terrible giggler when it's completely inappropriate and funerals/dead people pretty much tops the list of inappropriate situations to giggle. I even giggled at my fathers funeral when my brother accidentally broke the coffin.

For a more sober opinion of funerals or more specifically catholic funerals they're f*cking weird.

senorwipesalot

Captain Graphite wrote: »

Indeed. There's a lot of money to be made from the funeral business. And that's something that I find really unsettling.

If I died in the morning, I'd hate for my parents to have to incur any financial cost for it on top of everything else. Throw me in a cardboard box and bury me in the back yard. Or burn my corpse and fire the ashes into the river. That's what I'd prefer; something with as little financial burden as possible.

I couldnt agree more.
In fact Ive given the wife strict instructions to leave me out for collection by Mr. Binman on the Tuesday after my death.

branbee

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I'm a terrible giggler when it's completely inappropriate and funerals/dead people pretty much tops the list of inappropriate situations to giggle. I even giggled at my fathers funeral when my brother accidentally broke the coffin.

.

That reminds me, my sister was at a funeral where a person actually died while he was attending said funeral, and apparently that got alot of giggles!

Witchie

Captain Graphite wrote: »

Indeed. There's a lot of money to be made from the funeral business. And that's something that I find really unsettling.

If I died in the morning, I'd hate for my parents to have to incur any financial cost for it on top of everything else. Throw me in a cardboard box and bury me in the back yard. Or burn my corpse and fire the ashes into the river. That's what I'd prefer; something with as little financial burden as possible.

or going by your avatar they can just flush you down the toilet.

paddyandy

If we laugh long enough maybe our fears about it will go away .

admiralofthefleet

i was at one about 4 years ago that had a dj and play your cards right and was a major piss up. the fella who died insisted that the funeral be a celebration and boy did we party. one of the best days/nights of my life

Larianne

Captain Graphite wrote: »

Indeed. There's a lot of money to be made from the funeral business. And that's something that I find really unsettling.

If I died in the morning, I'd hate for my parents to have to incur any financial cost for it on top of everything else. Throw me in a cardboard box and bury me in the back yard. Or burn my corpse and fire the ashes into the river. That's what I'd prefer; something with as little financial burden as possible.

Just donate your body to science!! They'll give you a nice cermony afterwards.

I was at one last year. Was very uncomfortable. Family members who didn't talk to each other showing up after years of no contact. :cool:

Galwayguy35

Larianne wrote: »

Just donate your body to science!! They'll give you a nice cermony afterwards.

I was at one last year. Was very uncomfortable. Family members who didn't talk to each other showing up after years of no contact. :cool:

That would be a typical Irish family.

IM0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMFWFhTFohk

Dunny

Im going to be stuffed and put in the corner of the sitting room with a judging look on my face.

paddyandy

Captain Graphite wrote: »

Indeed. There's a lot of money to be made from the funeral business. And that's something that I find really unsettling.

If I died in the morning, I'd hate for my parents to have to incur any financial cost for it on top of everything else. Throw me in a cardboard box and bury me in the back yard. Or burn my corpse and fire the ashes into the river. That's what I'd prefer; something with as little financial burden as possible.

Funerals and Weddings and many other ideas
have become more complicated 'Products' and consequently much more expensive .
The Box became a Coffin which later became a Casket with added Trimmings .
It is now a consumer product where the consumer is consumed with whatever
money is provided for this status encoded extravaganza .
I'd rather do my celebrating on the '' other side'' rather than the nonsense i
witnessed a few years ago of dancing and singing etc. I was disgusted . " Celebrating someone's life **** " Any Excuse for a booze up .

OneArt

The only funeral I've been too was in a mosque. Was very interesting.

jupiterjack

funerals have always been a mighty place to meet and catch up with people you might not have seen in ages.

admiralofthefleet

a Viz top tip: 'Fool relatives into believing you care at funerals by asking them how they have been and what they have been up to'

brummytom

Larianne wrote: »

I was at one last year. Was very uncomfortable. Family members who didn't talk to each other showing up after years of no contact. :cool:

Every funeral we've had on mom's side seems to involve arguments. One auntie will come over from Ireland, but another sister won't come as well because they don't get on. If more than one comes, they won't get in the same car. All this nonsense.


Some people really seem to think the world revolves around them, even at funerals.

Chamone MF

Captain Graphite wrote: »

Indeed. There's a lot of money to be made from the funeral business. And that's something that I find really unsettling.

If I died in the morning, I'd hate for my parents to have to incur any financial cost for it on top of everything else. Throw me in a cardboard box and bury me in the back yard. Or burn my corpse and fire the ashes into the river. That's what I'd prefer; something with as little financial burden as possible.

I'm with you on that one.
The Eddie Hobbs funeral.
The money saved from the funeral can be placed in diversified investments with the return being placed in a govt saving scheme, this will add to your pension for retirement but youre already dead so fcuk it.

hmm...come to think of it, leave it in your will that you want minimum cost incurred by loved ones. cremation please. stylish pringles tube for my urn....none of that tayto bag stuff for me.

timewilltell

My 82 year old Granny, who would be very traditional, has banned black from her funeral. She refuses to even entertain the thought that we would wear black. Apparently its very 'morbid.'

mikemac1

Another Eddie Hobbs tip

There is an allowance from the community welfare officer for help with funerals.

You don't need to be on welfare to apply, everyone can apply

Amount depends but could be up to several hundred euro

It's there waiting to be claimed so don't be struggling

paddyandy

The Shiny Brass handles are nearly all plastic and the Wood is often Chipboard .

paulbolg

wel lads i work in the funeral trade, im 26 yrs old and this year i will be working in the business 10 years. i got into he business from having 1 week of work experience in one and i havent left yet, the stories i have heard off families i have dealt with hav been sad but by god i have heard some good ones too, so any questions ye may have send em this way i will try to answer them, i work in all aspects of the trade so i should have the answer

aujopimur

Irish funerals, thre're better than a wedding, and you don't have to give a pressie.

paulbolg

aujopimur wrote: »

Irish funerals, thre're better than a wedding, and you don't have to give a pressie.

bahaaaa

Fr_Dougal

I don't believe in organized religion.

Fr_Dougal

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

I don't believe in organized religion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTtLjRatfMI

Temptamperu

I would like a simple service really followed by my ashes been blasted of into space while elton john sang rocket man while chorus girls did a can can. followed by a brief speech by the president hobbit we have.
nice and simple.

true

paulbolg wrote: »

wel lads i work in the funeral trade, im 26 yrs old and this year i will be working in the business 10 years. i got into he business from having 1 week of work experience in one and i havent left yet, the stories i have heard off families i have dealt with hav been sad but by god i have heard some good ones too, so any questions ye may have send em this way i will try to answer them, i work in all aspects of the trade so i should have the answer

whats the weirdest thing anyone wanted in a coffin with them...eg anyone ever request beforehand they wanted to have a whistle or mobile phone?

and ever heard any stories of what condition the remains were in if they were dug up after a few years?

jayteecork

People are dying trying to get to a funeral.

Galwayguy35

true wrote: »

whats the weirdest thing anyone wanted in a coffin with them...eg anyone ever request beforehand they wanted to have a whistle or mobile phone?

and ever heard any stories of what condition the remains were in if they were dug up after a few years?

Did you never dig a grave?

paddyandy

In a double plot the second interment is placed on top of the first and not along side ?
Is this True . I attended a couple of funerals and the second spouse in both cases
was interred with the first .

dan185

aujopimur wrote: »

Irish funerals, thre're better than a wedding, and you don't have to give a pressie.

I always bring an empty box wrapped up though and stick it in the coffin, so I don't look a stingey c*nt

Galwayguy35

paddyandy wrote: »

In a double plot the second interment is placed on top of the first and not along side ?
Is this True . I attended a couple of funerals and the second spouse in both cases
was interred with the first .

Around here the family graves are usually 3 plots. The 3 empty plots would be used first and after that the oldest grave would be reopened for the next person who died as time went on.

gabsdot40

I know a family where one of the sisters had an affair with and subsequently ran off with one of the other sisters husbands. Needless to say she was totally estranged. She didn't come to her mothers funeral and when the priest read out the names of her children and grandchildren her name was omitted. I thought that was a bit mean. The priest had obviously been told my the other siblings not to mention her.

I was at a funeral a few years ago. During the service someone roared 'Me Bo**ox at the priest and stormed out slamming the door. Afterwards we were in the churchyard and some guys turned up looking for one of the mourners with baseball bats, Chased his car down the street. Nice excitement.

I do agree with previous posters though. The last few family funerals I've been to have ended up being really good crack.

paddyandy

A story i heard years ago about a young fellah who was on his first day as a Gravedigger
and he is digging away late in the evening almost on his own .Shadows were falling and the birds had stopped chirpin' when suddenly his boot fell through the lid of the previous internment ...he jumped out like a jack-rabbit and the man who told the story ended it with the words .....".he never returned to the office to collect his wages " .

emer_b

I was at a December funeral a few years ago. The graveyard is quite near a park and there was a family day on at the same time. It was a really clear, still day so the sound from the park was travelling. Anyway, as they were lowering the coffin into the ground a 4 year old was introduced over the sound system and started roaring "jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the waaaaaay..." into the microphone.
Cue uncontrollable giggles and shoulder shaking at the graveside, even the priest!

emer_b

Anyone been to a humanist funeral? Thats what I'd like to have but I think I'd have to have it all planned out in advance as I couldn't expect anyone to organise it for me when I die.
Its just a funeral without the religion really but still gives people the chance to grieve/sympathise and generally follow the Irish format so that everyone doesn't get completely confused!
Also, if you're not cremated, where can you be buried of you haven't had a religious funeral. I know our main local graveyard is run by the council, but isn't it catholic consecrated ground in most cases??

Paddy Samurai

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

People don't seem to go on a drinking session as much now as they did a few years ago. Around here the mourners are always invited to the local pub after the Mass for "tea and sandwiches". I assume it's much the same in other parts of the country as well.

I thought that as well ,untill I went to the recent funerals.
The one in mayo with the free drink was in a small pub in the middle of no where.Everyone drove there ,and when I got there plenty of people were fairly well on.
The one in dublin with the hotel meal and the free round , I left about seven ,but I heard later the drinking and singing went on till closing time.
So different strokes....................

CruelCoin

I've never understood how Irish people treat funeral going as a ****ing hobby...

Never seen a society as obsessed about it before.

stovelid

Always more chance of a punch up than at a wedding so usually good fun.

Nothingbetter2d

i hear alot of people have been dying to get to those funerals :P