Should I go to my brothers wedding?

blogger123 · 23-04-2012 9:12pm #1

Hi, first off I'm new here so don't know if this thread is in the right place.

My only brother is getting married soon and we have always gotten on quite well. A couple of months ago he told me that I wouldn't be his best man and then he never asked me to even be a groomsman, but instead chose his fiances brother and 2 friends and I wasn't too happy, to say the least, but I kept my mouth shut.

Today a relative of mine let slip that he was on his stags abroad with his friends and he never bothered to invite me and my parents never even told me either.

Do you think I should confront him about this or even go to the wedding?

All advice greatly appreciated.

Battered Mars Bar · 23-04-2012 9:13pm

No

neil_hosey · 23-04-2012 9:14pm

**** sake that is harsh... sounds like something else is going on. Confront him.

KTRIC · 23-04-2012 9:14pm

Sounds like a selfish sod, feck him.

leggo · 23-04-2012 9:14pm

You should run in when the priest says "Does anyone have any reason to object to these two people being wed?" and scream "YES!!!!"

You're on your own from there.

Please Kill Me · 23-04-2012 9:15pm

I think you already know the answer to that. After having a stag without inviting you and not getting you involved in the wedding party, he obviously doesn't want you there, so fook him, don't bother.

eyescreamcone · 23-04-2012 9:16pm

I'd confront him and ask him what are his reasons for these actions.
If you don't like his answers don't go to the wedding
Simples!

El Weirdo · 23-04-2012 9:17pm

blogger123 wrote: »

Hi, first off I'm new here so don't know if this thread is in the right place.

That depends, OP. Are you looking for serious advice or do you want more of an irreverent, sideways view of your problem?

0066ad · 23-04-2012 9:18pm

Do you get on with his girlfriend?

im invisible · 23-04-2012 9:18pm

there has to be more going on here, is the fiance an ex of yours?

skinny90 · 23-04-2012 9:18pm

Anychance he's marrying into a wealthy family?...advice?I'd say tell him ur not going and then gate crash the ceremony scutterd drunk and ask him why on the alter in front of everyone

Gran Hermano · 23-04-2012 9:19pm

OP are you sure he is your brother? Your parents might have found you in an orphanage. It might be time for some serious chats around the dinner table.
Best of luck.

Alternatively go to the wedding and attempt to snob the bride during the best mans speech. You can also practice your gurning techniques during all the photos.

frozenfrozen · 23-04-2012 9:19pm

save money on a gift. find out when/where the afters are on and just post the details on boards and we can all make a day out of it

don't do that, it's a joke.

JONJO THE MISER · 23-04-2012 9:19pm

I would not go, take a holiday for yourself when the wedding is on.

ahyeahok · 23-04-2012 9:20pm

0066ad wrote: »

Do you get on with his girlfriend?

fyp

blogger123 · 23-04-2012 9:20pm

El Weirdo wrote: »

That depends, OP. Are you looking for serious advice or do you want more of an irreverent, sideways view of your problem?

Looking for serious advice as I'm pretty annoyed over it tbh

ICANN · 23-04-2012 9:21pm

There must be more to this. Surely if ye got on grand then he would have invited you to his stag?

If this was out of the blue for you then it's a completely ****ty way to treat your own brother.

hairyprincess · 23-04-2012 9:22pm

Did you get on well up to this point?

dark crystal · 23-04-2012 9:23pm

You say your parents never told you about the stag either - have you spoken to them about it.

0066ad · 23-04-2012 9:23pm

Did you try it on with her, after 7 and half beers?

You tit wb

Duiske · 23-04-2012 9:23pm

OP, Are you sure your not leaving something out ? If ye always got on, and now even your parents are helping him keep you in the dark, there MUST be something else going on apart from just your bro being a dick.

guitarzero · 23-04-2012 9:24pm

Based on what you've said, your brother has no soul and your aunt, if she realizes she wasnt supposed to say anything, also has a wretched soul.

Confront him in a civil way. Dont allow it to get too emotional or nothing may be understood.

Your his brother, if this doesnt mean anything to him then christ, what kind of woman would marry an ass basket like that?

secretambition · 23-04-2012 9:24pm

Definitely confront him, in case he's annoyed with you over something stupid/there's been some misunderstanding that you know nothing about because he's the sort of person to simmer quietly rather than have things out.

But if he doesn't have a particularly good explanation, and he just doesn't seem to want you involved very much, forget about that wedding.

Mr Benevolent · 23-04-2012 9:24pm

Is there a logical reason they didn't invite you? Besides trolling on the interweb, obviously.

blogger123 · 23-04-2012 9:24pm

haha some good advice there, I didn't get on his fiance and defo dont want to and i haven't done anything wrong for him to act like this. I really dont know what his prob is.

hairyprincess · 23-04-2012 9:27pm

blogger123 wrote: »

haha some good advice there, I didn't get on his fiance and defo dont want to and i haven't done anything wrong for him to act like this. I really dont know what his prob is.

Well I should hope not, unless she's a horse of course

see what I did there

.SONIC. · 23-04-2012 9:28pm

on his wedding day go into his room while hes getting dressed, tell him he dropped a cufflink and when he bends over to pick it up RAM your pee pee up his pooper and slowly tug his hair and whisper into his ear 'is this what i missed at your stag'

as i always say, revenge is a dish best served cold!

Doom · 23-04-2012 9:29pm

Hi Blogger123, this is your brother, I seem to have invited you to my wedding by mistake, please ignore that invite, cheers for been a sound bro

ResearchWill · 23-04-2012 9:31pm

I would go for a pint with brother, say you are hurt by the snub, and you would rather not fall out, but it is clear you are not welcome at the wedding and to avoid any issues you will not be going to the wedding. Wish him the best in the future and give him your wedding gift.

My own view on what's happened is that as he has made his future brother in law his best man this is been pushed by the GF, I am only guessing but she is the one with the issue, is he hen pecked.

blogger123 · 23-04-2012 9:31pm

0066ad wrote: »

Did you try it on with her, after 7 and half beers?

You tit wb

no defo didnt try it on with, i never see her really

Boscoirl · 23-04-2012 9:31pm

Ring the hotel and cancel the reception, if he has a foreign honeymoon booked, "accidentally" put his passport in the fireplace and set fire to it "accidentally"

PhiloCypher · 23-04-2012 9:32pm

I think you know deep down why they don't want you there. If you really don't know then you really need to ask the other voices in your head if they have any idea why he doesn't want them there.

ProudDUB · 23-04-2012 9:33pm

Wouldn't worry so much about not being part of the wedding party. Your brother could be under pressure from his fiance and his friends in that respect. Nothing to do with you.

However, he is bang out of order not to have invited you to the stag.

So to answer your question, no, I wouldn't go to the wedding.

At the wedding, he and your parents are probably going to be asked where you are by lots of people. They'll be pissed off at you for creating an embarressing situation on the big day, even though this situation is largely of their making and not yours. If you are ok with dealing with that all that flak after wards, go for it.

blogger123 · 23-04-2012 9:34pm

ResearchWill wrote: »

is he hen pecked.

My parents blame everything on her and she defo wears the trousers but the stags was totally his own choice.

23-04-2012 9:34pm

blogger123 wrote: »

Looking for serious advice as I'm pretty annoyed over it tbh

If you're looking for serious advice this is most definitely the worst forum you could have posted in! Personal issues would be the best place.

Also, your bro is kind of a d**k:D

Radharc na Sleibhte · 23-04-2012 9:34pm

I think you better ask Jeremy Kyle

blogger123 · 23-04-2012 9:35pm

Boscoirl wrote: »

Ring the hotel and cancel the reception, if he has a foreign honeymoon booked, "accidentally" put his passport in the fireplace and set fire to it "accidentally"

not a bad idea at all, i might actually consider it haha

Jesus Wept · 23-04-2012 9:35pm

You must know more than you are sharing with the group if you have 'always gotten on quite well'.

phasers · 23-04-2012 9:35pm

are you close with your brother? It doesn't sound like you are, and tbh I don't really see why he should ask you to be in his wedding party if you aren't.

Equally, you shouldn't feel obliged to go to the wedding.

ResearchWill · 23-04-2012 9:36pm

blogger123 wrote: »

My parents blame everything on her and she defo wears the trousers but the stags was totally his own choice.

I will put money on it that she decided who went on stag, you brother is welcome to her. I would not go and I would wish him luck, he will need it.

RichieC · 23-04-2012 9:37pm

With the wedding party it's more than likely the fianceé taking control and telling your bro what's what.

stoneill · 23-04-2012 9:37pm

You should deffo go to the wedding!

Oh yes - what capers and japeries you could get up to!
Just imagine if you got the microphone for a speech!
Make the best of this opportunity to let your brother know how you feel - in front of all your family too! - Oh yes - Go!

23-04-2012 9:38pm

OP, honest question - are you actually invited to the wedding?

secretambition · 23-04-2012 9:40pm

ProudDUB wrote: »

At the wedding, he and your parents are probably going to be asked where you are by lots of people. They'll be pissed off at you for creating an embarressing situation on the big day, even though this situation is largely of their making and not yours. If you are ok with dealing with that all that flak after wards, go for it.

This crossed my mind too. My view is that the brother has created a situation where one of the two of them has to suffer embarassment. Either OP has to spend the day explaining why he is not part of the bridal party and was not at the stag, or he doesn't go and brother has to explain it. Personally, if I were the OP, I wouldn't go and I would leave the explaining of this awkward situation to the one who caused it, but I do agree with the point that hurt/embarassement to other innocent (and possibly elderly) family members would be something to think about.

eyescreamcone · 23-04-2012 9:41pm

You're in jail aren't you ???

blogger123 · 23-04-2012 9:42pm

im not leaving anything out, we havent had any arguments and yes i am invited to the wedding haha

Triangla · 23-04-2012 9:43pm

My bro and I get on. Only a year between us.

But we're not close. I didn't go to his stag and vice versa. Just completely separate lives.

Neither of us were insulted, we just never did the out in the beers together thing.

Go to wedding and enjoy.

Joe10000 · 23-04-2012 9:45pm

Is he much older then you ?

blogger123 · 23-04-2012 9:45pm

Triangla wrote: »

My bro and I get on. Only a year between us.

But we're not close. I didn't go to his stag and vice versa. Just completely separate lives.

Neither of us were insulted, we just never did the out in the beers together thing.

Go to wedding and enjoy.

we have gone out on many nights out in the past and got on quite well, but dont see him much since he has moved out

blogger123 · 23-04-2012 9:47pm

Joe10000 wrote: »

Is he much older then you ?

he's 28 Im 24 so not much of a diff

Boscoirl · 23-04-2012 9:49pm

was there many on the stag, if was only him and 2-3 of his close mates, he is a bit of a wanker for not inviting you, but if there was 10-15+, he is a grade A c*nt and I would say good luck to him, and hope he enjoys his life, nevermind the wedding

Should I go to my brothers wedding?

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