When did you realize you are L,G,B or T

KDII

I have been following a thread in AH about gender neutral toys in children. The debate has since evolved into the social construction of sexuality and gender roles. (Link to thread:http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056609693)

It got me thinking, when did you realize you're gay or trans?

I can't really ascertain this myself.. I was actually in a relationship with my girlfriend before it occurred to me there was a chance I was gay :roll eyes: always was a bit slow..

Retrospectively I know now that I've basically been a raging lesbian my entire life and I guess just compartmentalized it somewhere. Coming around to my sexuality and disclosing it to my family was the most difficult thing I have ever done. A year on everything is perfect, my girlfriend feels at home in my house and my mother thinks she is a friend to all LGBT folk, often accosting unwittingly individuals to be her new gay friends because "she knows all about it"

So I guess my question is: did you always know?

L.Jenkins

I can't put a date on when I knew I was trans. It developed over years and years until I reached a point where I couldn't go on as I was anymore. I always felt I didn't quite fit my birth gender and the last few years have been somewhat of a journey. I know I still have some way to go, but I finally feel I'm on the right path.

wonderfulname

On some level I always knew I liked the ladies and I always knew I wasn't really gender... typical?

However I only realised the former when I was 13 and the latter... I suppose the past couple of months have been part of a learning curve that's really only in it's infancy, well, a concious learning curve, the power of hindsight says it was brewing up for a long time beforehand.

Ignore AH by the way, highly, highly hypocritical of me but it's just a nuthouse.

Hamhide

I realised i was trans about 2 years ago,i was a very fem gayboy and dressed as a girl sometimes for 'kinky' nights in lol but my partents and friends say when i was little it was pritty obvious sometimes

baby and crumble

I never thought I was gay until I was about 15, honestly. I always fancied guys, but looking back it seemed a bit... weird. I don't know. I remember seeing women kissing on tv and getting a weird feeling in my stomach but I didn't know what it was. Then a new teacher arrived at my school when I was in 5th year. I hated her on sight. Until I realized I actually fancied the arse off her. :rolleyes: So I guess I had the "oh THAT'S what's going on!" when I was 16.

I came out to friends when I was 18, to my folks at 21. I'm constantly getting more comfortable with being a bit more masculine than a lot of girls in some ways, and more feminine that some of my straight female friends in others.

Babybuff

When I hit puberty I suppose, I just figured I wasn't like the other girls. Did my utmost to try and be more straight because that was about the same time when I discovered that gay was bad.

I do remember the first girl who made me warm and fuzzy. I was about 14.

BrazIrish

Well.. I guess I always knew. I remember I liked to play doctor with my male friend when I was 5 or something but at that point I didn't know I was gay, of course haha I always fancied guys but thought it would be a phase and I was kinda homophobic mainly because I didn't accept myself. My mum had gay friends who used to go home for a tea and I just didn't like them. Just want to make it clear I have never done or said something to 'hurt' any of them. Anyway.. I came to point where I just knew I couldn't live this way or I would never be happy. It was so confusing... before I came out I dated a girl for a very short period and it was just the last straw. I just knew it was time to stop pretending but I was then 27yo. Didn't have any problem to come out to my family and close friends.

Irish Aris

I was kind of a late bloomer. . .
I knew for sure when I was 17, but in retrospect, I remember myself physically attracted to some of my mail schoolmates from the age of 14.

stephen_n

Late bloomer lol that's half the age I was when I finally came to terms with being bi. I suppose looking back I was attracted to males from my teens but it just didnt make sense to me as I was straight and I was attracted to girls possibly more. I had never met a bi guy even though I had been in or around the scene from my late teens so always looked at it as an either or sittuation. Add to that a serious cocktail of drink drugs and addiction, paying any sort of attention to what I felt or thought was not really in my skill set. It's defenitely a split in attraction with me in favour of women but the more used to it I get the more I'm just attracted to people their gender is not that important.

foggy_lad

When I learned what gay was I knew that was me, But I had known for Years Before that there was something different about me.

SolarFlash

I knew something was up around 9 or 10, knew for sure by 13.

OneArt

Fourteen. I started fancying my best friend. At the time I thought I was bisexual, afterwards I was convinced I was gay. I got into a short relationship with a guy. When we broke up I started going out with another guy but started to fancy this girl and ended up going out with her instead.

After a year or two of being completely apathetic I realised my feelings towards people were romantic/emotional, and my attraction was aesthetic but not sexual. I have a non-existent sex drive, so I looked up on asexuality.

I so guess bi-romantic asexual describes me best. So yeah, took me a while.

deirdre_dub

Didn't connect the dots until I was 39. Obviously knew something was wrong for a long time, but I couldn't name it until a few years ago.

Dwn Wth Vwls

Had experienced attraction to both genders in some form or another by 14, but took me till 24 to realise bisexuality was a real thing and a possibility. :rolleyes:

Freiheit

I knew at 20 that I had serious problems.....

There were signs and problems before that but I didn't understand them.

Vojera

From about 9 or 10 I started to wonder if there was something different about me because I didn't get the big deal about the fellas all my friends were crushing on. But at that stage, I thought I just wasn't interested in anyone. It wasn't until about 14 that I started wondering if I might be gay, but I didn't really accept it. I had lots of little crushes but all the teen magazines would say in their problem pages that having crushes on girls was normal and that I would grow out of it, so I kept waiting for that to happen. (Although I had Gillian Anderson and Xena and Gabrielle posters all over my walls - I should have known!!!)

When I went to college at 17 I came out as bisexual to my friends, even though I had never found any guy attractive. It was just too scary to go the whole hog and say I was a lesbian. But at 20 I met my current partner and I knew there was no going back So, it wasn't until 20 that I accepted I'm really an L and not a B. But now I'm happy to say it

mrroboto

I was 16 when I admitted to myself that I was attracted to guys, but of a year after that I couldn't figure out if I was gay or bi. At 17 I knew I was gay. I had attraction towards guys on sight, getting the butterflies feeling in my tummy and all that. The only girls I was attracted to were girls I knew for years before. I could only love a girls personality. And that attaction could turn on and off like a switch. In hindsight I know had ever found myself in a relationship with a girl I would have been the worst BF, I would have treated her like crap.
I'm 19 now and all my friends know, but not my family, that's still a bit scary at the moment. I now realise that coming out doesn't mean you know who you are. I'm still learning about myself everyday. I'm slowly striping back the layers I built up all my childhood. I've become more feminine in my behaviour, this is me naturally. (As a 3 year old I would perform one man shows, I would wrap a towel or blanket around my waist and be the princess...THOSE CLUES!!) I lived in nothing but tracksuits until this year. But most importantly I've learned to express myself more from the reclusive child and teenager I was.
Finding yourself is like climbing a ladder, sexuality is the 1st step, that has to be figured out before you climb the rest of the ladder. but don't confuse knowing your sexuality with knowing who you are.

Babybuff

ah...xena. warrior princess.

fillefatale

What about Q?

1ZRed

I have have found my sexuality very confusing in the last 2-3 years.
I was straight growing up but still had a very slight interest in guys. It was so slight that I didn't think anything of it.
As years went on that side grew unroll I deffinatly could have been considered bisexual. I knew I had these feelings but I didn't even tackle them, I just ignored them. It took a lot for me to just admit I liked guys too and it took even more to actually say it aloud to myself.
Now I consider myself bisexual but more strongly attracted to men. I find both sexes attrative but i seek relationships with men more than women because I feel more compatible with guys.
I have noticed though, that as my sexuality is developing I'm becoming more attracted to men and less so to women.
It's funny it was the opposite to how I was in my late childhood/early teens.
I'm 17 now so god knows how I'll be in my 20s but if I become exclusively gay or bi curious for women Im ok with that.

wonderfulname

fillefatale wrote: »

What about Q?

Which Q?

Goodshape

I think I always suspected but really didn't want to think about it, or tried to convince myself I was bi and could ignore the attraction to men. I knew for sure that I was gay when I was around 16, maybe 17. But I didn't really accept it until I was 21 -- and came out to friends and family that year.

1ZRed

Goodshape wrote: »

I think I always suspected but really didn't want to think about it, or tried to convince myself I was bi and could ignore the attraction to men. I knew for sure that I was gay when I was around 16, maybe 17. But I didn't really accept it until I was 21 -- and came out to friends and family that year.

Thats more or less what i did. And at 16 I realised it but used my leaving cert to distract my thoughts. I accepted it at 17 and came out to friends at the same time.
I have no intension of telling my family for a year or two though. Don't have the balls yet!

LegacyUser

Late-ish.

Definitely secondary school early on, can't really remember when. I had found girls attractive long before.

Makes sense looking back considering I prefer women to men.

Captain Graphite

It wasn't until I was around 16 or 17 that I found myself attracted to anyone. I was a very socially awkward, asexual blob as a teenager. I felt too ugly and unattractive to ever think about other people.

Then I went through the whole I'm straight/no, I'm bi/no I'm gay conundrum. At 22 I still haven't settled 100% on an identity but I'm ok with that now. I don't feel like I need a label to define me anymore; I just like who I like and that's good enough for me.

deirdre_dub wrote: »

Didn't connect the dots until I was 39. Obviously knew something was wrong for a long time, but I couldn't name it until a few years ago.

39? Wow, that must have been really tough not really knowing for such a long time. Glad you eventually found your way though.

fillefatale

wonderfulname wrote: »

Which Q?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer

icicle2000

I was brought up in a very strict religious family, and didn't even dare to entertain the thought. The idea entered my mind very briefly when I was 14-15, but I killed it pretty quickly. I left my family's religion at 20, but continued to entertain the idea of normality, even tried dating a few men. Obviously didn't work. Then, maybe half a year after that, it kind of dawned on me. I was even worried that it was an "impulsive decision", it was so sudden. But I'm known for things dawning on me like that :P But yes, ever since then (it hasn't been very long at all, only another 6 months or so) I've identified as lesbian, although it saddens me that my parents don't and probably won't know, due to their relifious homophobia, and their inevitably cutting me off if they do know. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, it's not majorly important to me, but I hate that it's such a huge deal to them.

wonderfulname

fillefatale wrote: »

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer

Ah that Q, you didn't need to define it for me, some people see the Q as questioning, neither is excluded here anyway, despite the forum/thread name.

Nyan Cat

I always liked girls in some form. Not fancying but really intrigued when I was a kid. I suspected it was nothing unusual.
My first girl crush was at 12 but I didn't think of it as a crush but rather admiration (it was both though!)
I didn't even contemplate the idea of being gay till 21 and then I went from an I gay? To yes in a few days. The trigger was being told a colleague I had a crush on was gay (I did not pursue that and I also suspect that was just an untrue rumour) and it just made me think.

I remember that neutral AH toy thread. They should have a 'Gender neutral AH toy show' lol

Mekirin

I was 15 when it occurred to me I might be gay or bisexual. To be honest though, I should have known since I was about 12 or 13.

Davyhal

When I was 9 years old I knew I liked boys, maybe even earlier, I just remember fancying a boy when I was 9, but I thought I was bi, cos I convinced myself all along that was the case. I didn't accept I was gay, not bi, until I was 21-22 years old. I had girlfriends and yet it took me time and time again before I realised that I was not enjoying being in a relationship with girls, and it was nothing to do with the girls, it was me that was "at fault" for the relationships not working out