Annoying Lodger

ilovefridays

Okay I got a lodger in to help with my mortgage. shes only here just over 2 weeks and already annoying me. Maybe I am been petty but....
curry stains on counter, rice in sink, she had bolognaise today and i walked into the kitchen to find bolognaise sauce spilled on the floor, dishes everywhere (even though theres a dishwasher),empty boxes on the counters. i asked her the other day to clean up after herself and she said 'yeah sorry no problem', but its fallen on deaf ears.
the boyfriend comes over and makes himself at home, and got a key cut for himself at the weekend:eek: he arrived in the door today and i asked were he got the key and he said he got it cut so that if he ever calls over and shes not home at least he wont be left waiting outside for her. I didnt say anything as i was in shock at the cheekiness.
Other than that shes grand, she keeps to herself and mainly stays in her room, and the money is handy. Is the money worth putting up with her untidiness and bf having spare key?
I just feel that they've no respect for my place. or am i been petty?

djimi

Its your house; get tough, lay down some ground rules and make her fully aware of them. If she doesnt like it or cant comply then ask her to leave.

And take the key off the boyfriend; that to me is extremely cheeky.

keysersoze0330

If it's like this already, it will only get worse. I know this from experience. Give an inch and she will take a mile. It will probably become a doss house for the bf to hang out in. Nip it in the bud early.

sunnysoutheast

ilovefridays wrote: »

Okay I got a lodger in to help with my mortgage. shes only here just over 2 weeks and already annoying me. Maybe I am been petty but....
curry stains on counter, rice in sink, she had bolognaise today and i walked into the kitchen to find bolognaise sauce spilled on the floor, dishes everywhere (even though theres a dishwasher),empty boxes on the counters. i asked her the other day to clean up after herself and she said 'yeah sorry no problem', but its fallen on deaf ears.
the boyfriend comes over and makes himself at home, and got a key cut for himself at the weekend:eek: he arrived in the door today and i asked were he got the key and he said he got it cut so that if he ever calls over and shes not home at least he wont be left waiting outside for her. I didnt say anything as i was in shock at the cheekiness.
Other than that shes grand, she keeps to herself and mainly stays in her room, and the money is handy. Is the money worth putting up with her untidiness and bf having spare key?
I just feel that they've no respect for my place. or am i been petty?

The boyfriend isn't paying any rent, so he certainly shouldn't have a key and shouldn't be there when she isn't. To me this would be enough to get rid of her but...

.....otherwise sort that out first, if she objects kick her out. Once that is resolved tell her to tidy up her own mess. Give her a week to change and, if it continues, kick her out.

I'd also suggest making up a reason to get her out (relative moving in etc.). Then once she's gone, change the lock.

SSE

ilovefridays

keysersoze0330 wrote: »

If it's like this already, it will only get worse. I know this from experience. Give an inch and she will take a mile. It will probably become a doss house for the bf to hang out in. Nip it in the bud early.

yes im thinking that 'if shes like this now at the start, it will get worse. I dont know how to approach the situation without a row, as she comes across a bit of a cheeky mare.

Slydice

Sounds like she's pretty untidy and disrespectful of your stuff, property and privacy. Maybe she's young and just away from her parents for the first time. I'd say it'd be a good idea to have a chat with her, tell her how much you dislike it and that it could affect her staying on as you may have to ask her to leave.

sunnysoutheast

ilovefridays wrote: »

yes im thinking that 'if shes like this now at the start, it will get worse. I dont know how to approach the situation without a row, as she comes across a bit of a cheeky mare.

Tell her you have a relative who's moving to stay with you so she needs to leave, sorry about that, just the way things are etc.

Then change any lock for which you've given her a key.

SSE

cruizer101

Sounds harsh but I'd be inclined to get rid of her. If from the get go she is leaving the kitchen in a mess I kinda doubt she would change and as for the key cutting thats ridiculous and just shows a lack of respect that its your house. I suppose it might depend on how easy you can find another tenant.

KTRIC

Well if you dont mind some random bloke making copies of your house key then go ahead.

ilovefridays

cruizer101 wrote: »

I suppose it might depend on how easy you can find another tenant.

thats the problem, its so hard to get someone to rent a room nowadays with the recession, I have been advertising for a long time , before I got her. Im starting to think now maybe the money isnt worth the hassle.
they are only petty little things really, but why should i clean up after someone else.

ilovefridays

KTRIC wrote: »

Well if you dont mind some random bloke making copies of your house key then go ahead.

thats whats annoying me.....to think the bf who shes only with a few months has a key to my apartment on his keyring, heads off every night to his own house with my house key on him.

keysersoze0330

ilovefridays wrote: »

yes im thinking that 'if shes like this now at the start, it will get worse. I dont know how to approach the situation without a row, as she comes across a bit of a cheeky mare.

tbh i wouldn't be worried about causing a row. I'd be worried about my house been cleaned out by someone who isn't actually paying rent, who you know has a key. I'd also be sorting it sooner rather than later. Good luck anyways

hmmm

KTRIC wrote: »

Well if you dont mind some random bloke making copies of your house key then go ahead.

Him being given a key is absolutely outrageous.

ilovefridays

hmmm wrote: »

Him being given a key is absolutely outrageous.

he wasnt given a key, he had the cheek to go out and get one cut himself.
I'm going to ask him for the key back before he leaves tonight, ill say its for security reasons. If they dont like it, they can both leave.

sexymama

Agree with all posters.
It is your house and you should tell her a few house rules.
She had absolutely no right to give the BF a key to your house!Get it back off him quick! Be assertive,you pay the mortgage!

SM

Sorry just saw your last reply.
The cheek of him to get it done himself!
Tell him to take a running jump!!

saffeyyogi22

Hi,

I would say good bye, I have been renting out for a number of years and get on with my lodgers as I explain that they need to clean after themselves, The day they move in , I explain the rule within the household eg, the bf can stay over now and again , but he is not paying rent so he does not get a key and he not staying more than a night r two a week , With the cleaning I would leave it and show it to her when she get home , Bring her to the mess and explain that you are not her mammy and that she must clean up.

I would get rid as soon as poss, I hated renting rooms out at first , but needs must and now I am friends with most who have rented in my home. ( By the way I do not take Irish people for the reason you have stated ) I have 2 from USA, and 1 from Italy ,
Best of luck with the renting

sunnysoutheast

ilovefridays wrote: »

he wasnt given a key, he had the cheek to go out and get one cut himself.
I'm going to ask him for the key back before he leaves tonight, ill say its for security reasons. If they dont like it, they can both leave.

Good plan, keep us posted.

As the old saying goes, a wise man (or woman) learns from the experience of others so take it from me - change the locks when they're gone.

SSE

djimi

ilovefridays wrote: »

they are only petty little things really, but why should i clean up after someone else.

The issue with the key isnt petty; thats pretty serious as far as Id be concerned. Who does he think he is that he can just let himself into someone elses house whenever he feels like it, even if she isnt there?

flowerific

ilovefridays wrote: »

yes im thinking that 'if shes like this now at the start, it will get worse. I dont know how to approach the situation without a row, as she comes across a bit of a cheeky mare.

If I were you I would ask her if she is free one eve, that you want to talk to her re: house rules. You should get a friend to be there with you as a witness and support. Also email her a copy of the house rules. That way you have a witness and things in writing if tuns turn bad. Tell her that the rent is for one person and that you want the BF to give up his key. Set house rules for having "guests over"

hmmm

She's in a new house and is already not tidying the place, and her BF has gone and got himself a key.

This isn't going to get any better. I'd cut my losses early - this isn't what we often see on this forum which is a landlord/lady with unrealistic expectations.

rock chic

hmmm wrote: »

She's in a new house and is already not tidying the place, and her BF has gone and got himself a key.

This isn't going to get any better. I'd cut my losses early - this isn't what we often see on this forum which is a landlord/lady with unrealistic expectations.

totally agree its not gonna get any better get rid of them asap as 1 poster said tell them a relative is moving in good luck and dont delay i wouldnt

odds_on

Sent you a Private message, an example of House Rules.

gosuckonalemon

I wouldn't let this person put you off lodgers.

Maybe you just have to be wiser and know what to look for during the selection process.

I would def write up a set of house rules. Basic, common stuff...don't come across as too anal or a dry balls or you will put people off.

Use the word respect in it a few times and let them know the consequences from the get-go, i.e. they fcuk about they got a week to leave

the_syco

Change the door lock on the same day you kick her out. Give her three days notice, and for her to be gone by the weekend.

State that her making a key for someone not paying rent is a step too far.

ilovefridays

flowerific wrote: »

If I were you I would ask her if she is free one eve, that you want to talk to her re: house rules. You should get a friend to be there with you as a witness and support. Also email her a copy of the house rules. That way you have a witness and things in writing if tuns turn bad. Tell her that the rent is for one person and that you want the BF to give up his key. Set house rules for having "guests over"

I foolishly didnt print up house rules, i kept saying i would but never got round to it, so everything was kinda verbal. Another Poster has pm'd me standard house rules, so ill be adding, editing stuff in that and printing it off for her tonight.

ilovefridays

hmmm wrote: »

She's in a new house and is already not tidying the place, and her BF has gone and got himself a key.

This isn't going to get any better. I'd cut my losses early - this isn't what we often see on this forum which is a landlord/lady with unrealistic expectations.

i know, you'd image that she would be making an impression in the first couple of weeks

ilovefridays

saffeyyogi22 wrote: »

By the way I do not take Irish people for the reason you have stated ) I have 2 from USA, and 1 from Italy ,
Best of luck with the renting

ive had foreign students stay with me in the past, and have never had any issues with any of them, they have all been clean and tidy, but this is my 'first lodger', and Irish....LOL (so your comment made me laugh) , I thought when i got an irish girl, ah thats great we'll have alot in common but im eating my words now.

P. Breathnach

ilovefridays wrote: »

i know, you'd image that she would be making an impression in the first couple of weeks

I think she has made an impression.

Spiritofthekop

ilovefridays wrote: »

he wasnt given a key, he had the cheek to go out and get one cut himself.
I'm going to ask him for the key back before he leaves tonight, ill say its for security reasons. If they dont like it, they can both leave.

And you can be sure he will gradually move in full time while helping out with her rent only all the time.

Some young couples will try this get one of them to move in then slowly bring the boyfriend in & overtime he will be getting up for work every morning in your house. All the time they will be splitting the rent for just the one room and there side of the bills.

Spiritofthekop

ilovefridays wrote: »

I foolishly didnt print up house rules, i kept saying i would but never got round to it, so everything was kinda verbal. Another Poster has pm'd me standard house rules, so ill be adding, editing stuff in that and printing it off for her tonight.

I would nearly bet you she will be moving out pretty swiftly once you hand her over some printed rules!!

HardyEustace

I'd get rid of her. It won't get any better.

Is your trouble finding someone due to location?

Even if not, don't expect to find someone straight away. Maybe drop the rent by a little and see if it opens up more prospective tenants? Better to have a slightly lower rent and someone you are very happy with, then higher rent for a few montsh and then none as you're so put off by the experience.

johnwest288

odds_on wrote: »

Sent you a Private message, an example of House Rules.

Can you send me that too

johnwest288

I have rented to dozens of people over the years Most are Fab, Your gonna get the small percentage of Eeejits :rolleyes: dont get put off by it.
I could write a book !

HardyEustace

johnwest288 wrote: »

I have rented to dozens of people over the years Most are Fab, Your gonna get the small percentage of Eeejits :rolleyes: dont get put off by it.

Thats a great point. The vast majority of people are very nice and very accomodating. Its just a shame that its happened on your first tenant, not everyone is like that. I've made some great friends through house-sharing.

However, one thing to remember is that something that might seem blindingly obvious and common courtesy to you, may not seem "normal" to another person. Its always a good idea to go through the house rules when interviewing people. You'll get a good idea of what kind of person they are from their reactions to the rules.

While obviously, living on your own is a luxury not everyone can afford, and equally, the rent money goes a very long way towards helping with the mortgage and bills, remember that its your home as well. You shouldn't be in a position where you dread coming home or open the door of your house with trepidation. This goes for both owner-occupiers and their tenants.

I had a difficult tenant whom I gave notice to and it was only after they moved out that I realised just how stressful it was on myself and the other person in the house to have them there. Within reason (bills still have to paid), life is too short to put up with that kind of crap.

Francie Barrett

If someone did that in my house, I would put them out.

oflahero

Next time the boyfriend is around, ask him for his own house keys so you can make copies of them. It's only fair. Let him know you'll be popping round occasionally for a cup of tea, and it's OK if he's not there, you don't mind.

M cebee

i would get rid

stepped over the line giving bf key


and it's a sign of worse to come

BobMc

ilovefridays wrote: »

he wasnt given a key, he had the cheek to go out and get one cut himself.
I'm going to ask him for the key back before he leaves tonight, ill say its for security reasons. If they dont like it, they can both leave.

Get a Mul-T-Lock cylinder installed, the locksmith will supply one you should be able to install handy enough, they cant get a spare key cut then with out the authorised card (supplied with the lock) prevents unwanted key cutting

Emme

I would get rid of her. Do it as nicely as possible. Say one of your relatives is looking for somewhere to stay and when they're gone change the locks pronto.

If they're behaving like this after only two weeks goodness knows what they'll be like later on. I say "they" instead of "she" because it seems clear to me they intended moving in as a couple but she got the room.

You can ask them to leave before 6 months, but after that she might have more rights (Part 4 tenancy) and you won't be able to get rid of her as easily. I don't know if the Part 4 tenancy is the same with lodgers as it is with tenants of a non-owner occupied property, but under a Part 4 tenancy a tenant has considerable rights. Which is fair and the way it should be as most tenants are fine.

Get rid of her now, because the money she's bringing in will only be eaten up in the costs of cleaning up etc. If she's leaving the kitchen in a state after 2 weeks goodness knows what she and her boyfriend will do later on if you allow them to stay.

He overstepped the mark by copying a key to your place. That compromises security and could invalidate your house insurance. You'd want to check this out with your insurance company.

Get rid.

djimi

Emme wrote: »

You can ask them to leave before 6 months, but after that she might have more rights (Part 4 tenancy) and you won't be able to get rid of her as easily. I don't know if the Part 4 tenancy is the same with lodgers as it is with tenants of a non-owner occupied property, but under a Part 4 tenancy a tenant has considerable rights. Which is fair and the way it should be as most tenants are fine.
Get rid.

Shes fine on that regard; part 4 tenancy does not cover lodgers.

Zamboni

Out the door.
End of.

If she is in your house come next week you've only yourself to blame for all future issues that arise.

the_syco

If she has this much respect for your property now, imagine what will happen if you go on holiday, or have to be away for a weekend? I'm thinking she'll invite an army of tards over to party in yours.

Of course, she won't clean up the place when they leave, going by her past record... :eek:

flowerific

johnwest288 wrote: »

Can you send me that too

Same, I'd like to get a copy please

ilovefridays

johnwest288 wrote: »

I have rented to dozens of people over the years Most are Fab, Your gonna get the small percentage of Eeejits :rolleyes: dont get put off by it.
I could write a book !

let me know when your book is on sale....Ill buy it

ilovefridays

BobMc wrote: »

Get a Mul-T-Lock cylinder installed, the locksmith will supply one you should be able to install handy enough, they cant get a spare key cut then with out the authorised card (supplied with the lock) prevents unwanted key cutting

someone actually advised me of this yesterday, but isnt it quite expensive to get done?

ilovefridays

Emme wrote: »

I would get rid of her. Do it as nicely as possible. Say one of your relatives is looking for somewhere to stay and when they're gone change the locks pronto.

If they're behaving like this after only two weeks goodness knows what they'll be like later on. I say "they" instead of "she" because it seems clear to me they intended moving in as a couple but she got the room.

You can ask them to leave before 6 months, but after that she might have more rights (Part 4 tenancy) and you won't be able to get rid of her as easily. I don't know if the Part 4 tenancy is the same with lodgers as it is with tenants of a non-owner occupied property, but under a Part 4 tenancy a tenant has considerable rights. Which is fair and the way it should be as most tenants are fine.

Get rid of her now, because the money she's bringing in will only be eaten up in the costs of cleaning up etc. If she's leaving the kitchen in a state after 2 weeks goodness knows what she and her boyfriend will do later on if you allow them to stay.

He overstepped the mark by copying a key to your place. That compromises security and could invalidate your house insurance. You'd want to check this out with your insurance company.

Get rid.

your totally right, i did ring my insurance company and they told me that if the house was broken into, i actually wouldnt be covered the fact that someone that doesnt live here has a key.
regarding her rights, she doesnt have any rights, she isnt a tenant, she is only a licencee because I own the apartment and am living here, if i wasnt living here and was renting it out then she would be classed as a tenant and would have tenant rights.

ilovefridays

the_syco wrote: »

If she has this much respect for your property now, imagine what will happen if you go on holiday, or have to be away for a weekend? I'm thinking she'll invite an army of tards over to party in yours.

Of course, she won't clean up the place when they leave, going by her past record... :eek:

funny you saying that, cos im actually due to go abroad in june for a weekend, and i was thinking to myself 'i better not tell her im going away, cos she will have a party or something planned'

ilovefridays

Latest update,
after me taking the keys off the boyfriend the other nite, the next day she came home and told me she lost her keys. I told her i dont have a spare copy, she mentioned the 'copy i took off her BF the night before', i said 'i dont know where i put them'. she came in tonight with her key. i said 'Oh i see you found your keys then:rolleyes:
she left the place in a state this morning, food stains all over kitchen and muck all over sittingroom floor.
So I told her tonight that things arent working out and im sorry but she has to leave. she didnt even try defend herself or ask why, she just said 'OKAY, can i stay one more week, to find somewhere else'.
its not worth the money (even though the money helps with my mortgage and bills) I'd rather struggle than put up with all that sh*te. A bit of respect goes a long way.
I've learned a big lesson for next time......
thanks for all your replies and advise, i really appreciate it.;)

radioactiveman

Hi OP
Next time when you get someone in, apart from giving rules, try to talk to them when they come to view the room.
Have a good chat with them and see what type of people they are.

You won't catch everything after a few minutes talking to them but it will give you a fairly good indication. The better you are at detecting gob****es at this stage, the more daft behaviour you will avoid.

Especially try to outline some of the rules in passing. If they have a major problem with any of them (assuming they're reasonable) you will see it there and then before anything is agreed.

It might be ok to have an eejit in a non owner-occupied house but when you're living there it's a different matter. There are really a lot of renters who ignore the fact that you have rights as well even though you're the landlord.

Kaner2004

BobMc wrote: »

Get a Mul-T-Lock cylinder installed, the locksmith will supply one you should be able to install handy enough, they cant get a spare key cut then with out the authorised card (supplied with the lock) prevents unwanted key cutting

dont bother. i had these and people still got spare keys without me getting them. so i went around about 10 shops to see if i could persuade them to duplicate the key without showing any authorization.

80% duplicated the key no problem. another 15% did it for a tenner bribe.
5 % refused. rough %s but you get the idea.

the_syco

Does anyone know if the OP can use part of the deposit to change the locks, as the OP cannot know if yer wans boyfriend has another copy made or not...