Were you bullied in school? Or were you the bully?

stovelid

Kess73 wrote: »

What?

Fuck it. I misremembered it as Kess when it was Kes. :pac:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kes_%28film%29

stovelid

cabbage kid wrote: »

How lovely of you to belittle the suffering of others and claim that most people posting here were not wronged in any way.

Sure all the things that those "bullies" said were jokes.

There is a point to be made somewhere - nicely - that equating being slagged a lot in school on the basis of clothes or music with sustained physical or emotonal bullying is a little, i don't know, sensitive or something.

Babooshka

fishy fishy wrote: »

bully

the most overused word in the english dictionary. Seems like you cannot be a singer, actor, etc. unless you have been bullied at school.

Everybody can say they were "bullied" at school. In 99 percent of the cases, its just normal kids trying to grow up. Everyone has to go through it as kids - you get slagged by some, and you go around and slag others.

This notion of "oh I was so bullied" is crazy. Everyone was in the same boat - and what was done to you, you turned and did to others. Its called growing up - its preparing you for the big bad world out there. Show me someone who was never "slagged" and show me someone who never "slagged" others - you can't - it's impossible.

Stop victimising it. :rolleyes:

No you're wrong. I didn't do it to others and neither do lots of victims of bullying. They tend to turn in on themselves and retreat very quietly. It might very well be an overused term but it doesn't mean it doesn't happen at all. The notion of "I was bullied" is not crazy, if you'd had the stomach churning cramps and shaking I got before heading into school and still went through it, you wouldn't be saying that.

Kess73

stovelid wrote: »

Fuck it. I misremembered it as Kess when it was Kes. :pac:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kes_%28film%29

Ha, I am pretty sure my school and home life were not as bad as what Billy went through in Kes.

Conall Cernach

fishy fishy wrote: »

bully

the most overused word in the english dictionary. Seems like you cannot be a singer, actor, etc. unless you have been bullied at school.

Everybody can say they were "bullied" at school. In 99 percent of the cases, its just normal kids trying to grow up. Everyone has to go through it as kids - you get slagged by some, and you go around and slag others.

This notion of "oh I was so bullied" is crazy. Everyone was in the same boat - and what was done to you, you turned and did to others. Its called growing up - its preparing you for the big bad world out there. Show me someone who was never "slagged" and show me someone who never "slagged" others - you can't - it's impossible.

Stop victimising it. :rolleyes:

I'd agree with this. Some people did get "bullied" and were in genuine fear but the vast majority of us just got slagged or kicked or stuff thrown at us for a bit of craic. When I was in third year a teacher caught a few of us mercilessly taking the piss out of a friend. The teacher, who knew we were friends with this guy, made us write a letter of apology to the friend for bullying him and get it signed by our parents. The friend tried to explain but the teacher practically made out that he had Stockholm Syndrome.

fishy fishy

cabbage kid wrote: »

How lovely of you to belittle the suffering of others and claim that most people posting here were not wronged in any way.

Sure all the things that those "bullies" said were jokes.

:rolleyes:

Babooshka

fishy fishy wrote: »

:rolleyes:

I'm not surprised you don't "believe" in bullying, with your attitude. In denial are we?

cabbage kid

stovelid wrote: »

cabbage kid wrote: »

How lovely of you to belittle the suffering of others and claim that most people posting here were not wronged in any way.

Sure all the things that those "bullies" said were jokes.

There is a point to be made somewhere - nicely - that equating being slagged a lot in school on the basis of clothes or music with sustained physical or emotonal bullying is a little, i don't know, sensitive or something.

My previous post was way too sarcastic so sorry about that, probably a bit of an overreaction.

Anyway, the things you talk about equating aren't mutually exclusive. It doesn't matter what you're slagged over, that you're being slagged is all that really matters.

I've never been bullied more than mildly but I've seen a lot of people affected very negatively by bullying. I haven't bullied people and have intervened at times. My brother got bullied quite badly and even if the effect sometimes isn't seen so much by most, those close to victims will definitely notice.

seamus

Conall Cernach wrote: »

the vast majority of us just got slagged or kicked or stuff thrown at us for a bit of craic.

A bit of craic for the people doing it maybe.

The case you mention of friends slagging eachother, even if it's a group of mates ganging up on one of them for a second, isn't bullying.

Being abused, slagged, attacked or otherwise made feel like crap by people who aren't your friends - that's bullying. And it doesn't matter if it's an ongoing thing or just the odd one-off incident, it's still bullying. It's just the scale that's different.
The important thing about it is the respect in both directions. It's possible to slag the **** out of someone but still have the utmost respect for them. That's just normal growing up stuff with your mates. But if you slag the **** out of someone because you have no respect for them, that's bullying.

I would probably not have been on the receiving end of anything that would be considered major bullying at all tbh. I was smart and did well in school, but I wasn't really a teacher's pet or anything like that. So I occupied the position where I could end up getting abuse hurled at me the odd time, but mostly I'd be left alone. I can recall a couple of occassions where someone would randomly decide that I was the guy they were going to give **** to, but I'm generally non-reactive and look like I couldn't give a ****, so it never lasted long.

Looking back on it, a lot of the apprehension I would have felt in social situations in school would largely have been in my own head, paranoia about who was looking and what they were saying about me. That's standard teenage stuff.

I got a bit of a reputation as a rebel after the junior cert, so any of that kind of nonsense generally disappeared around then.

fishy fishy

Babooshka wrote: »

I'm not surprised you don't "believe" in bullying, with your attitude. In denial are we?

oh I believe in bullying alright - but on a very low scale. Most of the time it is growing pains, but people like to play victim for a good story. Thing is, everyone is trying the same story.

I believe there are true victims there, but usually not the ones shouting about it.

NiallFH

Cina wrote: »

There's a thin line between having banter with people and flat out bullying them and making them depressed.

I did the former, but unfortunately young people can take it the wrong way at times and assume you're actually being serious.

Most bullies tend to say 'it was only banter', clearly it wasnt if they took it badly. You sound like you were a twat and are in denial over having bullied people.

I was never bullied myself and never did bully anyone

Stiffler2

I was the bully, it made me feel big making others feel small.

Yes - I'm a ba$tard..... I know.....

fishy fishy

NiallFH wrote: »

Most bullies tend to say 'it was only banter', clearly it wasnt if they took it badly. You sound like you were a twat and are in denial over having bullied people.

I was never bullied myself and never did bully anyone

very quick with the name calling there,

davet82

I was technically a bully... i was like the guys in the background when Jodi Foster was on that pinball table in 'The Accused', i didnt actually do it but stood by and watched... and laughed and encouraged... actually i'm a big bully

the_syco

Was bullied up until I learnt about how the IRA used guerilla warfare. When I fought back plenty of others got hurt but meh; collateral damage is a bitch.

stovelid

Stiffler2 wrote: »

I was the bully, it made me feel big making others feel small.

Yes - I'm a ba$tard..... I know.....

Note crushingly conspicuous lack of thanks.

dfx-

Wasn't bullied, but as I was quiet enough I seemingly had to convince teachers and one in particular of this who thought I was bullied :eek:

There were slaggings, but they were sorted out pretty quick.

gerarda

Was bullied by a little short arse (nearly lost an eye on one occasion). Kept calling me a ' lanky stupid b***ard' too. Fast forward to 2009, I walked into a car dealership and there he was, he ran straight up to me and tried to shake my hand (which I firmly denied in front of other customers))babbling horse **** about how he can do me a great deal blah, blah blah!. So I loudly told him "f**k off!* and walked back out. About six months ago I see the same chap begging on Wicklow St, he got up and ran after me shouting "Friends look after each other!"as I walked by, I simply said: "Who is the stupid b***ard now?"

Micky Dolenz

I grew up wih a load of older sisters who were horrible to me at times. If I fought back my dad would leather me as a male should never raise his hand to a female. My dad was old fashioned like that.

I went to secondary school as a new boy and was bullied when I arrived. It was so liberating to be able to fight back. I was never bullied by the same person twice and really detest it when I see it.

Dudess

Fishy Fishy, where is that 99 per cent figure from? What's the "everyone" and "most overused word in the dictionary" stuff about? And what's so "crazy" about a person saying they were bullied? You seem quite reliant on unsubstantiated fluff that just enters your head - and if your only response to a reasonable point is a rolleyes symbol, then it seems you can't argue your case.
Where is your proof that 99 per cent of those who claim they were bullied weren't? Oh yeah you don't have it - because you weren't there and have no idea. It seems to make you very angry too when people say they were bullied - and very well could have been. Why the anger?
Thought you were a "Be tolerant to everyone!" person?
Yeah of course lots of folks were just slagged off as a bit of banter or mild picking on people, but why do you assume that's all 99 per cent of people who say they were bullied experienced in reality?

Babybuff

was never bullied, was never the bully, I just kind of got along with doing my own thing. I'm mostly oblivious to things outside of my peripheral vision so don't bother with people much and people don't bother me.
I feel lately though that I was on the verge of becoming one and I've been trying to get out of being in that place for a long time. Wasn't a case of just finding someone and picking on them though, it's been something that has been drawing on me for years with someone who really brings me down and as many times as I've tried to leave it go sometimes I felt the only way that person would ever fcuk off was if I bought a one way ticket to Australia.


(someone tried to bully me once, didn't end well for them)

hondasam

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=why%20does%20a%20bully%20become%20a%20bully&source=web&cd=6&ved=0CE0QFjAF&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.byparents-forparents.com%2Fcausesbullies.html&ei=MQ91T_qoMYG2hAfX-N2uDQ&usg=AFQjCNFd5D9zUaWVOErSUgVYdYDJNQSYyg

What some people see as a bit of banter or messing can be bullying to the victim. This link is interesting to read. Some people are more sensitive than others. There are so many different types of bullying whether it's physical, verbal or ignoring and excluding a person.

markus pride

I bullied a few people but not too badly.

ToddyDoody

I was fairly lucky in a way. Some of the guys who were quite obviously gay used to get a hard time, one or two to the extent that i'd say it contributed to their leaving early or just generally not continuing much further in education, at least immediately after school. I'm wondering what some of my former class mates would make of my current, more openly gay behaviour.. Would they bully me now for it (if we were in school and 16 again) then again, i'm one of those gays who wouldnt have or be interested in large throngs of female friends but instead attracts girls (when making the effort to attract gay guys.. which is a bit of a nuisance) I still think, considering its mostly men that end up in prison, that being gay takes the edge off -which is good.. So maybe i was too mildly gay to offend anyone. Who knows.

Babybuff

ToddyDoody wrote: »

I was fairly lucky in a way. Some of the guys who were quite obviously gay used to get a hard time, one or two to the extent that i'd say it contributed to their leaving early or just generally not continuing much further in education, at least immediately after school. I'm wondering what some of my former class mates would make of my current, more openly gay behaviour.. Would they bully me now for it (if we were in school and 16 again) then again, i'm one of those gays who wouldnt have or be interested in large throngs of female friends but instead attracts girls (when making the effort to attract gay guys.. which is a bit of a nuisance) I still think, considering its mostly men that end up in prison, that being gay takes the edge off -which is good.. So maybe i was too mildly gay to offend anyone. Who knows.

not that I would associate it with being gay but when I was in primary school a girl from my class followed me home shouting tomboy at me all the way and having a good old general jeer at my expense with another classmate. I kept my head down and continued walking but they carried on until about halfway home when I turned around ran back to them and smacked their heads together. They apologised the next day.
I have been "bullied" or at least jeered at for being gay as an adult however. mostly by adults. adults are as$holes though.

starviewadams

Neither,although I was on the mitch most of the time,but on the odd occasion that I did actually go in I was largely ignored.

Though I was bullied by the local scumbags in our old estate for having the nerve to call the Gardai on them the night they tried to rob our garden shed.That and I wasn't into hanging round the local shops smoking weed and drinking cider like every other lad my age did in that godforsaken estate.Used to get abuse roared at me everytime I passed them on the street or get tripped up,knocked over etc.Pretty shíte times were my teenage years.

CajunOnTour

markus pride wrote: »

We had a ladyboy in our year in secondary school and I used to bully the crap out of him. Secretly we had a love affair. I was 100% heterosexual, but exceedingly desperate as the all the girls in the year were stuck up.

Markus - j'accuse!

You have just made a blatant anti-Semitic post on the immigration thread and now this :rolleyes:

What do they call those guys under the bridge?

markus pride

CajunOnTour wrote: »

Markus - j'accuse!

You have just made a blatant anti-Semitic post on the immigration thread and now this :rolleyes:

What do they call those guys under the bridge?

You quoted my innocent post then plagiarized it to look as if I had said something inappropriate just because we had a disagreement in another thread? That's pretty low bro.

coffee_cake

went to a teeny tiny school until JC so there wasn't really any at all

fishy fishy

Dudess wrote: »

Fishy Fishy, where is that 99 per cent figure from? What's the "everyone" and "most overused word in the dictionary" stuff about? And what's so "crazy" about a person saying they were bullied? You seem quite reliant on unsubstantiated fluff that just enters your head - and if your only response to a reasonable point is a rolleyes symbol, then it seems you can't argue your case.
Where is your proof that 99 per cent of those who claim they were bullied weren't? Oh yeah you don't have it - because you weren't there and have no idea. It seems to make you very angry too when people say they were bullied - and very well could have been. Why the anger?
Thought you were a "Be tolerant to everyone!" person?
Yeah of course lots of folks were just slagged off as a bit of banter or mild picking on people, but why do you assume that's all 99 per cent of people who say they were bullied experienced in reality?

Chill out dudess, I'm not angry at all - why would I be angry on a "board" - life's too short. Im just saying that most people using the word "bullied" are getting it mixed up with "growing pains" - everybody was rotton to somebody - to say you weren't is being in denial. You sound like you are in a bit of a temper with me, .