what's the strangest conversation you've had with a taxi driver.

harry Bailey esq

i use taxis quite often,and in last week or two alone iv had drivers tell me bout cheating wives,lottery wins,grandchildren,viagra and Allsorts,I've even had a driver claim he was a big cheese in the freemasons!!! what's the strangest conversation you've ever had in a taxi?

Orim

Was coming home from a Street Fighter tournament (the game) with four monitors and a load of other equipment. Taxi driver asked me about them and we got chatting. Turns out my taxi driver had been involved in bare-knuckle boxing for years and had once fought the king of the travellers.

Got regaled with tales of his 20 odd year career which he had kept a secret from the wife.

Steven81

So are you busy tonight?

mikemac1

"Where you from, you don't sound Irish"


I was sober, it was the afternoon and my accent does be pure bogger so it does be

I was confused how that even happened

Not a funny story, just a strange one
No Irish person ever said that to me before

UnkieKev

"been working long today?"
"what time do you finish up?"

typical taxi conversation!

UnkieKev

"been working long today?"
"what time do you finish up?"

typical taxi conversation!

kfallon

Got a taxi with a driver who was originally from Africa.

We were discussing the days football, I said:

"So you support Arsenal?"

He said, "No"

I nearly fell out the door with the shock :P

chin_grin

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

viagra and Allsorts

:eek:

Sounds lick-her-ish.

Taxi driver in bold

"Is it busy?"
"Yes"
"I'm only going down the road"
"No problem"

AnonoBoy

Had a long conversation with a driver from Africa once which resulted in him breaking down in tears because his wife had left him and she wouldn't let him see their daughter anymore.

I felt really bad for the guy.

Attabear

Taxi driver once made a very serious attempt to convert me to his own version of catholicism. He claimed that the devil had been in charge of the catholic church since Vatican II (the sequel?).

He also made some bizarre predictions that to the best of my knowledge all came true:eek:

I was well tanked up at the time though.

44leto

One tried to convert me to christian beliefs, that was kind of strange. I like the Dublin taximen most you can have a good chat and laugh with.

But if this thread was only for taximen and about strange conversations they had with their punters, I am sure a drunken 44leto would be very prominent. God have I shortened the life of quite a few of them with my drunken ramblings.

Sykk

I remember one in which I literally couldn't fathom the stupidity.

This dub, young guy was in his early thirties by the look of him: we got talking about the economy and jobs. He had told me he just left a job to get his taxi license. He was a steel worker earning €600 a week after tax, and ragequitted because they refused him a payrise!!

Wtf?!!? Now he was telling me he earns €300 on a good week, but doesn't regret it because it's their loss. And that he can't afford the bills anymore but he wouldn't work for them because they earn millions and wouldn't pay him more..

:pac::pac:

phasers

"What's the point in watching porn?"

...The taxi driver was my Dad, by the way.

winston82

Orim wrote: »

Was coming home from a Street Fighter tournament (the game) with four monitors and a load of other equipment. Taxi driver asked me about them and we got chatting. Turns out my taxi driver had been involved in bare-knuckle boxing for years and had once fought the king of the travellers.

Got regaled with tales of his 20 odd year career which he had kept a secret from the wife.

Taxi drivers are full of sh1t. All of them. No exceptions.

jokettle

One taxi driver told me all about his passion for fishing, how he was named Best Fisherman In The World Ever* and took out a battered photo of himself holding his prizewinning fish. In fairness it was an impressive catch, but he kept insisting that he "didn't like to brag about it".....why show completely disinterested strangers the photos then?

*Probably not his actual title.

DoesNotCompute

winston82 wrote: »

Taxi drivers are full of sh1t. All of them. No exceptions.

Exactly. Any tall tales from a taxi driver should be taken with a mountain of salt.

shawnee

Had the misfortune to ask one how was he doing recently. He poured out his sorrows about the economy the taxi business , his mortage etc for 15 minutes. He then had the cheek to ask me for 11 euro.... felt he should have paid me 40 for the listening

Fiona

I was coming home from a party one Sunday morning in a taxi, I dropped my ex fiancee off and then I got the taxi man to take me around to where I was living.

He told me that he read faces and would he like me to read mine. Me of course in my drug fuelled state said yeah no bother off ya go.

That taxi man told me things that only I knew about myself. He told me how the man I was with was not right for me and that within 4 mths it would be over.

He told me things about my past and my family and he then told me somethings about my future which have also come through.

I sobered up fairly quickly after that, I was so shaken getting out of the taxi that he never even took my fare off me. I think he felt bad for frightening the ****e out of me

To this day it is the strangest encounter I have ever had in a taxi (or any other place!) in my life.

DoesNotCompute

shawnee wrote: »

Had the misfortune to ask one how was he doing recently. He poured out his sorrows about the economy the taxi business , his mortage etc for 15 minutes. He then had the cheek to ask me for 11 euro.... felt he should have paid me 40 for the listening

:eek: 11 euro for a 15 min journey? Pretty good value, tbh.

fish fingers

A Will Young song was on the radio, All time love it was. I was saying it's not the worst song in the world. African taxi driver says " I don't like it cause he's gay" okaaay.

Orim

winston82 wrote: »

Taxi drivers are full of sh1t. All of them. No exceptions.

Maybe, maybe not. End of the day it was an entertaining journey and far better then some fool talking football at me.

Dravokivich

Well I don't find it strange, but whenever any mates of mine are in a taxi with me they are always amused when the driver asks me how long I've been in Ireland for.

:mad:

Giselle

mrs crilly wrote: »

I was coming home from a party one Sunday morning in a taxi, I dropped my ex fiancee off and then I got the taxi man to take me around to where I was living.

He told me that he read faces and would he like me to read mine. Me of course in my drug fuelled state said yeah no bother off ya go.

That taxi man told me things that only I knew about myself. He told me how the man I was with was not right for me and that within 4 mths it would be over.

He told me things about my past and my family and he then told me somethings about my future which have also come through.

I sobered up fairly quickly after that, I was so shaken getting out of the taxi that he never even took my fare off me. I think he felt bad for frightening the ****e out of me

To this day it is the strangest encounter I have ever had in a taxi (or any other place!) in my life.

Since you were admittedly drug fueled could it not be that you're remembering it as more accurate and noteworthy than it actually was?

GetInTheHole!

I was chatting to a young-ish dublin driver about GAA one night when the topic of splitting Dublin into two intercounty teams (North & South) came up.

The chap got really angry about the fact that it would not be allowed - saying that it was typical GAA anti-Dublin bias espcially due to the fact that Meath were allowed to split into two teams for the GAA (Meath & Westmeath)..

With geography obviously not being a strong point - he did get me home in fairness to him.

Fiona

Giselle wrote: »

Since you were admittedly drug fueled could it not be that you're remembering it as more accurate and noteworthy than it actually was?

Nope remember it clear as day. Like i said it sobered me up fairly quick.

Hobbes

I have had loads. Here are some of the better ones.

- While driving on the M50 something on the radio set the driver off, and he went on about how 9/11 was all planned, but Bush was innocent, instead some ultra secret organization caused it to help undermine the world.. blah blah... He kept turning around to me (while on the M50) saying "Don't you agree?". Scared the heck out of me in his driving and that if I even entered into the conversation I would be thrown out of the Taxi.

- (In the US) With a Chinese friend in the taxi with me, the taxi driver informed her that he liked Chinese people because they didn't suffer from the retardation that black people suffered. He then sat there in all seriousness about how the skin pigmentation causes retardation, so it isn't their fault. I was speechless. My friend on the other hand had a go at him, where he finished up with responding with "I'm not racist, I have loads of black friends!".

Only time I have rang a Taxi company to complain about a driver.


- (In the US) This was around 1999/2000. There was a Boston taxi driver who told me that he related to some kickbacks court case going on in Ireland, where he had sold his Pub to cash to some TD and left Ireland to avoid the revenue commissioners. When I mentioned about getting extradited, he just laughed and said there was no chance of it.

---

By far the most bizarre and scariest. I had one taxi driver about another fare that mugged him (robbed what was visible and ran). But didn't run away, instead ran halfway down an alleyway and started jeering him. Knowing he was liable to get mugged or lose the taxi, he didn't follow him.

A few hours later he tells me he sees the guy walking down the road as if not a bother on him.

So at this point he tells me that he ran over the guy, stopped and reversed over him again. Then while the guy was screaming in pain, got out and took all his cash. Then using the guys phone he rang the guards and said he ran the guy over, and where. When they asked his name he said "Do you think I am an idiot" and drove off.

All I could think at that point was this guy knows where I live.

The Big Red Button

Every time I get a taxi on my own, if it's an Irish driver, they'll always say "So you're from the country, are you?" before they even hear my accent! Just because I sit in the passenger seat ... apparently, Dublin girls always sit in the back of the car? I'd feel awful rude doing that if I was on my own!

Dubit10

On my way home from work in the back of a cab one night in Brooklyn the taxi driver pulled out a shotgun from the front the car and told me about how he's used it twice before shooting at people who have legged it on him without paying the fair. I must have looked like a runner or something. I left him a big tip.

booboo88

Global warming :rolleyes:
It wasn't really a conversation more of a talking at.

chatterpillar

chatterpillar wrote: »

Every time I get a taxi on my own, if it's an Irish driver, they'll always say "So you're from the country, are you?" before they even hear my accent! Just because I sit in the passenger seat ... apparently, Dublin girls always sit in the back of the car? I'd feel awful rude doing that if I was on my own!

I always sit in the back seat

The Big Red Button

bluewolf wrote: »

I always sit in the back seat

Yeah that's coz you're from Dublin though, right? It's the norm here, it wouldn't be done at all where I'm from though!!

gremha

Had one offer me a swig from his naggin of vodka, I declined & he took a swig himself. He then asked me & my mate if we wanted to come back & do his misses while he watched, he wouldn't get involved, just watch. We declined & got out at the next set of lights.

Was about 25 years ago & we were teenagers, horny but not crazy.

Dr Strange

During my first year (1999) in Ireland a colleague and I went to visit Glasnevin Cemetery. We took a taxi to get there and after hearing our accents he asked where we're from:

Me: Germany
Driver: Ah, Germany.... Hitler had a great army, so he had. A fine army.
Me+colleague: Uhm, sure...

Embarrassed silence.

Tom

Hobbes wrote: »

---

By far the most bizarre and scariest. I had one taxi driver about another fare that mugged him (robbed what was visible and ran). But didn't run away, instead ran halfway down an alleyway and started jeering him. Knowing he was liable to get mugged or lose the taxi, he didn't follow him.

A few hours later he tells me he sees the guy walking down the road as if not a bother on him.

So at this point he tells me that he ran over the guy, stopped and reversed over him again. Then while the guy was screaming in pain, got out and took all his cash. Then using the guys phone he rang the guards and said he ran the guy over, and where. When they asked his name he said "Do you think I am an idiot" and drove off.

All I could think at that point was this guy knows where I live.

No offence intended but...do you look like the sort of person who was likely to rob him? Might have been a warning to you

Boom_Bap

My oddest taxi exxperiences have been in Amman, Jordan.

Yapping away to a taxi driver who had decent English, when I asked for a reciept at the end of the journey he all of a sudden didnt speak English and at the same time was hiding his receipt book.
I didnt have a problem with being overcharged, which I'm guessing is what prompted him to lose his voice and reciept book, I just wanted a receipt to get it covered on my expenses!

Another guy didnt speak English at all and my Arabic aint great. So I got the concierge at my hotel to tell the cabbie where I was going and all was good. But along the way there was traffic and the guy tried a short cut. But, it didnt work out to plan and he just stopped the car and pointed at the meter. I could see the building I was going off in the distance and was telling him that's where I need to go. He refused, obviously didnt know how to get there. So I had to get out and walk........and it was the only day that I've ever experienced rain in the middle east as well.

ghostchant

Had a 30 minute conversation about atomic force microscopy with a taxi driver one time. Can't say I was expecting that one.

castletownman

Most of my experiences have occurred in Dublin.

Got talking to one lad who sent me via bluetooth some midget porn!

Got talking to an African taxi driver who claimed to be a cousin of former Bolton and Hull player Jay Jay Okocha!

Dan133269

mrs crilly wrote: »

I was coming home from a party one Sunday morning in a taxi, I dropped my ex fiancee off and then I got the taxi man to take me around to where I was living.

He told me that he read faces and would he like me to read mine. Me of course in my drug fuelled state said yeah no bother off ya go.

That taxi man told me things that only I knew about myself. He told me how the man I was with was not right for me and that within 4 mths it would be over.

He told me things about my past and my family and he then told me somethings about my future which have also come through.

I sobered up fairly quickly after that, I was so shaken getting out of the taxi that he never even took my fare off me. I think he felt bad for frightening the ****e out of me

To this day it is the strangest encounter I have ever had in a taxi (or any other place!) in my life.

Well in fairness to this highly observant taxi driver, if he saw you with your fiancee, and also knew that you were cheating on her with some man, then probably neither of them were right for you!

Dravokivich wrote: »

Well I don't find it strange, but whenever any mates of mine are in a taxi with me they are always amused when the driver asks me how long I've been in Ireland for.

:mad:

Well, how long have you been in Ireland for?

YFlyer

gremha wrote: »

Had one offer me a swig from his naggin of vodka, I declined & he took a swig himself. He then asked me & my mate if we wanted to come back & do his misses while he watched, he wouldn't get involved, just watch. We declined & got out at the next set of lights.

Was about 25 years ago & we were teenagers, horny but not crazy.

Was it Fred West?

ReacherCreature

Nothing weird just some really great stories, the kind you have that makes you wish you were driving a 100 miles somewhere.

One guy told me about when he was working abroad. He emigrated to England at 17 or 18, slept rough some of the time. Then he had an interview to work on an oil rig off the coast of Brazil. The job was for a welding position. He bluffed his way into it and said he was an expert welder. They were impressed and took him on. He need two French men to teach him how to weld and he learned everything on the spot. The taxi guy made loads of money and moved back home. Bought a house, has a wife and now some kids. It was a remarkable 10 minutes of story; went from being homeless and young up to being fairly well off and having a family and is now content.

Another was a GAA nut. And I mean he was crazy into it. He was analysing formations and schemes that the Kildare football team ran and how that clashed with the opposing team. Just crazy in-depth analysis. That said, he was intelligent and again, you'd listen to him.

One taxi driver was telling me about a woman he knew who married a Saudi. He was the perfect gentleman. He blew the whole family away with his kindness and mannerisms. They married and she moved to Saudi Arabia with him. It was a façade though - she was raped by her husband and his brother and the lifestyle was completely different from what she expected or was told. She left Saudi Arabia. Her husband followed her and put on the charm offensive again. The family weren't having any of it. Her father and her brothers got together and beat the living shít out of the Saudi. Absolutely destroyed him - tore strips out of the lad. He stayed away.

Had an interesting, albeit strange conversation with one guy about Hitler's euthanisa and sterilisation policies and their potential relevance in today's society.

Funny conversation with a guy who loved Liam Neeson in Taken. "He was a mad cúnt wasn't he?" His delivery was perfect and I nearly died laughing.

Some stories may be made up or full of crap/inaccuracies but they're a joy to listen to and the drivers have perfected their story telling. Obviously not every trip was like that, some are quiet and do the job or some make no effort. But for the entertaining ones, you'd wish you were driving all over the country with them.

shawnee

DoesNotCompute wrote: »

:eek: 11 euro for a 15 min journey? Pretty good value, tbh.

Listening to a stramger telling you all their woes for 15 mins for free.... even better value , tbh

Orando Broom

I had a guy driving me around who INSISTED David Beckham was paid €140m A YEAR! The dunce. The cretinous dunce. Couldn't be told he was wrong.

jme2010

Had an eastern European taxi man ask me, if I'd like to hear some music.

I said yeah, he then produced a little harmonica and started to play while in traffic.

He wasn't bad either

Mr Benevolent

mrs crilly wrote: »

Nope remember it clear as day. Like i said it sobered me up fairly quick.

You're been drinking petrol again. Gives nasty hallucinations.

RichieC

We had a character one night, He was African anyway but not sure from where. he asked us if we liked music and we were all like "yea, just getting back from a concert"

"Ah yes, I like music too"... *sticks tape into player* Return of the mack comes on, when it was over, what comes on next? Return of the mack again... ad infinitum.

I actually laughed the whole way home tbh.. it was a classic.

DEFTLEFTHAND

There's a guy in Limerick we used to get, we nicknamed him the Captain as he loved to relay his days in the Merchant Navy to us, particularly his sexual exploits both male and female.

Adamantium

Got a taxi one friday afternoon in Galway, decent sort of taxi driver told me that communism was the best thing ever, giving numerous examples of it, with none of the downsides.

Asked me to join the communist party of Ireland and gave me two cards, one for the party and another for the car

Another bit of anecdotal information came in the form of another taxi driver in the same city, who claimed the full moon each month caused A&E wards to fill up to the max, due to the moon bringing out the primal animal in each of us (as opposed to the drink), there might be some truth in that one!

Jimmy Two Times

Few years ago I jumped into the back of a taxi with the missus in Parliament Street.

Driver was listening to one ot those audio book type thingys and continued to do so for the whole length of the journey back to D5.

It was a Mills and Boon " Bodice Ripper " type story with the soft core action being described in great detail.

Pair of us didn't know where to look.

mccarte2

A Nigerian driver called Moses discussed the benefits and pitfalls of Kilkenny GAA's strategy of not caring about Football with me for about 15 mins home one night.

A taxi driver in Malta spent 10 mins convincing me he was the owner of the a horse that would win the Maltese Derby the following year.

General Zod

a 45 minute lecture on the benefits of aloe vera.