I dont have any more ideas left

SilentHill

How do you broach this without sounding like a complete mess…I need to leave Ireland. I have to, every day here is a challenge, I know this sounds melodramatic but I cry every day, I cannot find work, every person I see who has a job is to be hated, I wasn't always like this, I worked, hard, I was self employed and now have nothing, I’ve watched my parents break like a wave upon this recession and I cannot bear the thought of living any longer, I say living because that's how I feel, every day, I wait for it to get better, I try, I strive for work and I get nowhere. I know I am a worthless person for being unemployed so long, there can be no other explanation, I am an embarrassment to myself and my family. I tried to emigrate but Im 36 I cant get a visa, its nearly impossible, I want to work, I don't want to go back to uni, I did that, I cant afford that, I came out with handshakes from the dean and assurances that the world was my oyster, who wouldn't want to hire somebody so smart and adaptable, well guess what ivory tower? Everyone!, Im not even worthy of a single interview.
I want to die, but I’m terrified Ill **** that up too and just end up more of a burden. What do you do? Don't tell me talking helps, talking does not help, I’m still unemployed, Im still broke and I’ve made a balls of everything, I made no good decisions and everything I did for others only made me worse off. If anyone is reading this who is thinking about leaving this country, do, while you’re young before it poisons you the way it has me.
If I had somewhere else to be I would, I’m trapped and there’s less and less hope every day, I go to sleep every night wishing I will never wake up as it is the only way to relieve the constant stress and unhappiness. I hope some day Ill have the courage to because I cant rescue myself from the way things are, I cant rescue my kid, at least if I was gone he wont have the constant disappointment of a useless unemployed parent making more bad decisions and ****ing up everything.

LegacyUser

Hey there

I feel the same and I am 38 years of age. I don't have any advice unfortunately but I thought Id at least share my experience. I have been unemployed for 15 yrs with the exception of 2 jobs both lasting less than 10 months and 5 yrs between them. I'll spare you the details as you can probably imagine them from what I've described already and of course your own experience. I have learned that the only way to cope is to give up trying soo hard. I know thats not an answer you or anyone wants to hear but it is my reality an I simply cannot live with the strees and strain of constantly trying and getting absolutely nowhere.

I still keep an eye on jobs/internships/ed opportunities but I never put myself under pressure to find something because that is like poison to me in that it can literally destroy my mood in no time and send me into a depression thats very hard to get back from. Instead I focus on other things to occupy most of my time and apply for any jobs (internships mostly) if and when they appear.

I cannot emigrate either with all my health issues( that have arose because of yrs of unemployment, even during the boom), however I don't really like travelling so emigration is not a big deal for me. I do however want to go back to college for a masters which i defered last yr because I felt I wasn't ready or able to do it at the time. My problem is right now I feel that there is little point since I feel I still wont get a job from It because of my age and especially my serious lack of experience. I sometimes think the only reason to do it is for something to do and that's not really a good enough reason in my view.

Anyway I just wanted to say you're not alone and I fell your frustration.

I hope something good comes around for you.

Best wishes.

beks101

Probably more of a PI than Ladies Lounge issue, maybe a mod will move it shortly.

Your problems will not disintegrate by emigrating. You'll just be living in a different country feeling worthless. And without the safety net of family and friends. Your job situation would depress anybody but it sounds like there's a lot more going on with you and no amount of job offers or travelling will quick-fix it.

I would strongly suggest counselling and a healthy lifestyle, lots of exercise, a healthy diet and adequate sleep and social activity.

Wibbs

I'm truly sorry you're feeling this way, but I have to close this thread. No one here is qualified to give you the help and support you need. I could move it to Personal Issues forum, but they would close the thread for the same reason.

Please please reach out to someone qualified to help. They are out there and they will help. You are not alone. Other men and women are out there feeling similar, but so are people out there to help.

These links might help.
http://www.aware.ie/
http://www.dublinsamaritans.ie/
http://www.irish-counselling.ie/

Your GP is also another good option to try as they will have options to get you the help you need.

I wish you the best of luck and please remember the biggest thing in life is change, you just never know what's around the corner.