annoying situation

LegacyUser

A group of friends and myself are scheduled to go on a trip in four days time. we booked an apartment which was paid for on the credit card of a friend who is going. We are all meant to pay out money to the friend who paid before we head off to cover our place. And early today one friend pulled out citing a family illness. Do you think it is only fair that they still have to pay? the remaining people in our booking now have to shoulder the cost of the accommodation for the person who pulled out as they are refusing to pay. the remaining people really cant afford to cover the cost of the extra person.It is too late to get someone to fill in, or book somewhere else as it will take a few days to get the money refunded onto the card to book somewhere else. The person who has pulled out is saying we are being totally unreasonable and they shouldnt have to pay and we should find somewhere else. We have reason to believe that their excuse is a lie and that that is the real reason they are not going. Do you think we are being unreasonable seeing as they asked us to book their place to stay and have now pulled out at the last second leaving us to pay.

Your friend should pay you. If they don't they're not a good friend.

amdublin

Without a doubt they should pay.

DEFTLEFTHAND

I was in a similar situation last Autumn when I had to pull out of a trip to Prague with friends. I paid my share to the friend who did the booking without question, the thought of not paying never crossed my mind.

I think its really mean that this person has now jeopardized the trip for the rest of you guys, he/she should pay up without doubt.

LegacyUser

op here, She told us that she is not paying, and that is our own fault for not cancelling and getting somewhere else cheaper near the same place. Its not a large amount, but I earn only seventy a week as I'm in college and really cant afford to cover her. I'm using birthday money I'm getting to fund my trip, as the trip is essentially for my birthday. So I'm going to be spending my birthday money to cover her share

Gannicus

It's a tough one. If it's already paid for in full on your other friends credit card then she should most definitely pay. If it's only the booking fee then she should pay her share and then put it behind all of you.

Try be diplomatic about it but. You don't want a falling out in the group if the lot of you are close friends.

LegacyUser

Yeah its already been pain in full! she knows this. nothing we can do but pay her share since she refuses to pay

woodchuck

Your friend should still pay.

Have any of you contacted the place you booked with to see if they have something smaller/cheaper? You might be able to sort something out that involves less fussing around with credit cards if you rebook something different with the same place.

Chinafoot

who is being unreasonable wrote: »

Yeah its already been pain in full! she knows this. nothing we can do but pay her share since she refuses to pay

Well she should never be invited anywhere with you again.

She sounds like a spoiled brat who has no concept of commitment. If you agree to go somewhere and allow a friend to make a booking for you on their credit card then you pay your share regardless of whether or not you can go. She made the commitment to go on this trip and expecting everyone else to pay for her now that she's not going is terrible carry-on.

You and your friends are most certainly not being unreasonable.

LovelyLottie

Your friend should pay, if she had any decency about her, but if she refuses point blank to pay, there's not a whole lot you can do about it.

If i were you, i'd ask her again to pay her share explaining how money is tight for everyone, and how the money had already come off the other girl's card by the time she'd let you know she was dropping out.

If she still refuses, then pay it yourselves, have a lovely time on your trip but let it be a lesson learned for you and the others where she's concerned. Don't ever include her in a booking like that again. Not even a cinema ticket. Some people just take advantage and get used to others sorting out their messes for them. You need to avoid these people like the plague.

Bubblefett

Very bad form on the part of your friend.
Yes she should pay, she agreed to pay the credit card holder when the trip was booked and she went back on her word.
Unfortunatly it's very hard to make someone pay up, especially if they're seeing everything as one sided as she is.
I hope she either cops how immature she's being or else karma comes around, she certainly doesn't sound like a considerate friend

IsaMtq

Unbelievably selfish, spoiled and immature. I wonder how she’d feel if the shoe was on the other foot! I’d hound her till she paid up… if you can’t make that happen, well you’ll just have to live and learn from it and try not to let it spoil your holiday. There are many people out there who think that the world owes them and if they can get away without paying their way and screw someone over they will – and have absolutely no conscious about it.

hondasam

who is being unreasonable wrote: »

A group of friends and myself are scheduled to go on a trip in four days time. we booked an apartment which was paid for on the credit card of a friend who is going. We are all meant to pay out money to the friend who paid before we head off to cover our place. And early today one friend pulled out citing a family illness. Do you think it is only fair that they still have to pay? the remaining people in our booking now have to shoulder the cost of the accommodation for the person who pulled out as they are refusing to pay. the remaining people really cant afford to cover the cost of the extra person.It is too late to get someone to fill in, or book somewhere else as it will take a few days to get the money refunded onto the card to book somewhere else. The person who has pulled out is saying we are being totally unreasonable and they shouldnt have to pay and we should find somewhere else. We have reason to believe that their excuse is a lie and that that is the real reason they are not going. Do you think we are being unreasonable seeing as they asked us to book their place to stay and have now pulled out at the last second leaving us to pay.

Your friend is unreasonable to expect to cancel at such short notice and not pay her share. How much is her share and is the trip in Ireland? most hotels here let you cancel up with to 24hrs notice.
I would not let it come between ye either as she might not have the money and is to embarrassed to tell ye or their could be other reasons.
You know her better than us on here, is this type of behaviour unusual for her? is she always unreliable?

Stormageddon

Op maybe you should show her this thread, might shame her into paying up or at least teach her something about her behavior for the future. (I know the girl in question, this is not unusual behavior for her)

LegacyUser

The trip is abroad. We tried calling the place today to explain. But all the rooms are booked out seeing as it is so close to the day. I know myself she isnt going to pay. But she is trying to shame and guilt me and the remaining people going into thinking we are in the wrong and should feel bad even asking her.

Beruthiel

who is being unreasonable wrote: »

But she is trying to shame and guilt me and the remaining people going into thinking we are in the wrong and should feel bad even asking her.

Don't entertain that for a second.
It is quite simple.
She verbally committed to going away with ye and had her trip paid for on her behalf on that basis.
Whither she goes or not, she owes that money back.
It is not your fault that she can no longer go and you should not have to suffer the extra cost because of that.

Ethically, she hasn't a leg to stand on and imo there is no question in my mind but that she owes you the money for her share.
The world doesn't operate according to her rules.

LegacyUser

She is saying that she didnt know this family member would fall ill and so could not give us any more notice, and that ultimately its our fault we wont move to somewhere else. We asked was it because if money issues that she wasnt going, as some recent events had pointed to this, but were told in reply that she had a few hundred saved for this trip and because it was in the credit union she didnt want to touch it and that was why she couldnt pay for stuff recently. I argued that if she had that much away why wasnt she paying her share, especially as the people left to shoulder the cost really really cant afford to do so. I myself am mostly using an overdraft to fund the trip. as well as whatever birthday Money I get. I am already a fair bit into my overdraft so I could do without this. I was met by a blank refusal to pay as she said why should she pay for something when shes not going, that she is already going to be out of pocket for the flight and deposit, which she said she would still pay but honestly I doubt it will now happen.

Meauldsegosha

who is being unreasonable wrote: »

The trip is abroad. We tried calling the place today to explain. But all the rooms are booked out seeing as it is so close to the day. I know myself she isnt going to pay. But she is trying to shame and guilt me and the remaining people going into thinking we are in the wrong and should feel bad even asking her.

She can only guilt and shame you if you let her. You and your other friends have done nothing wrong. She is being completely unreasonable, if she cant pay it back in one she should offer to pay so much a week until her debt is paid.

You and your should go and enjoy you trip. When you return you should all meet with this girl and tell her she has to repay her debts either now or in installments.

I am a friend

who is being unreasonable wrote: »

the people left to shoulder the cost really really cant afford to do so. I myself am mostly using an overdraft to fund the trip. as well as whatever birthday Money I get. I am already a fair bit into my overdraft so I could do without this.

Well she did give you 5 days notice. you said it would take 3 days to get a refund so you had time to cancel and book someplace else, yet you only called the hotel today .... has only 1 person got a credit card???? sounds to me like you are being awkward.

on top of that, you shouldnt be going away if you clearly cant afford to...

hondasam

who is being unreasonable wrote: »

I was met by a blank refusal to pay as she said why should she pay for something when shes not going, that she is already going to be out of pocket for the flight and deposit, which she said she would still pay but honestly I doubt it will now happen.

She is paying for the flight and the deposit this is good. How much is the apartment in total, how much are each of ye paying? how much more will it cost for ye to pay her share? I think she might not be as unreasonable about the apt, ye need to stay there, could ye get anything cheaper?

Lollipops23

I am a friend wrote: »

on top of that, you shouldnt be going away if you clearly cant afford to...

She can afford to go away herself, just not to bankroll someone else to.
I wouldn't be budgeting for other people on my hols- just enough for myself.

Also, when I was in college I was the only one of my friends who had a credit card, so would routinely put stuff like concert tickets on it.

OP, she's being insanely unreasonable. However, I would see it as being an issue between her and the girl whose card it went on- it's akin to the first girl loaning the second girl money and the other not paying it back. It has little to do with the rest of you, but you've gotten a chance to see her true colours.

Leitrim lass

If she were to take out holiday insurance she may be able to claim most of the trip back if she can prove that this person is so sick. My cousin had to cancel a trip abroad when our granparent died and she said she was able to claim some back.

amdublin

Leitrim lass wrote: »

If she were to take out holiday insurance she may be able to claim most of the trip back if she can prove that this person is so sick. My cousin had to cancel a trip abroad when our granparent died and she said she was able to claim some back.

Taking out insurance after the event is Fraud!!!!!

I am a friend

Lollipops23 wrote: »

She can afford to go away herself

Read the part about the overdraft...

Stormageddon

I am a friend wrote: »

Read the part about the overdraft...

It's not your business to decide whether or not she can afford it. That's not the issue here. And why should they scramble to find whatever is available when they assumed it was sorted ages ago? Do you realise it might be kinda difficult find nice accomodation on a small budget at the last minute? Why should they have to rearrange their plans for one person who won't even be there?

Lollipops23

I am a friend wrote: »

Read the part about the overdraft...

Yes, it's highly unusual for a college student to have an overdraft:rolleyes:

The OP has explained that it's a stretch for her to go, but she' entitled to go if she so chooses. She shouldn't be expected to foot the bill for her flakey bítch of a mate.

I am a friend

Lollipops23 wrote: »

She shouldn't be expected to foot the bill for her flakey bítch of a mate.

the girl has a family problem, is paying for her flight and deposit and gave them 5 days notice... its fair enough to at least try to change so she doesnt have to pay... a bit of a witch hunt going on here. In reality its probably only going to cost them an extra €20 each - not the end of the world :rolleyes:

If you cant afford €20 then you shouldnt be spending your last shillings on a trip abroad...

Chinafoot

I am a friend wrote: »

its fair enough to at least try to change so she doesnt have to pay...

In fairness, the OP did say...

who is being unreasonable wrote: »

We tried calling the place today to explain. But all the rooms are booked out seeing as it is so close to the day.

I am a friend wrote: »

a bit of a witch hunt going on here. In reality its probably only going to cost them an extra €20 each - not the end of the world :rolleyes:

If you cant afford €20 then you shouldnt be spending your last shillings on a trip abroad...

Easy to make the OP look petty when you pluck a small figure from the sky :rolleyes: You have no idea how much it is. And if it's "not the end of the world" why doesn't this girl pay for herself?

The fact of the matter is this girl committed to a trip away. Yes, it's unfortunate that there are family issues meaning she can't go (assuming she is being genuine, the OP seems unconvinced) but such is life. You can't expect others to foot the bill for you when your circumstances change. She knows that this money is on her friend's credit card and if she had any decency she would settle up.

LegacyUser

I am a friend wrote: »

Well she did give you 5 days notice. you said it would take 3 days to get a refund so you had time to cancel and book someplace else, yet you only called the hotel today .... has only 1 person got a credit card???? sounds to me like you are being awkward.

on top of that, you shouldnt be going away if you clearly cant afford to...

I never once said it would take three days, and if the standard is three days how do you propose we book somewhere else when the money wont be back in time? We called Sunday when she cancelled, how is that not being proactive about it? and yes for your information only one of our friends have a card. we are in college its a fairly standard situation

I am a friend wrote: »

the girl has a family problem, is paying for her flight and deposit and gave them 5 days notice... its fair enough to at least try to change so she doesnt have to pay... a bit of a witch hunt going on here. In reality its probably only going to cost them an extra €20 each - not the end of the world :rolleyes:

If you cant afford €20 then you shouldnt be spending your last shillings on a trip abroad...

We already asked to change, we were told there is no rooms available. Its really none of your business what I do with my money. I plan to take on more hours at work during summer to pay it back. If I want to go away for my birthday I am fully entitled to.

zxcvbnm1

I am a friend wrote: »

who is being unreasonable wrote: »

the people left to shoulder the cost really really cant afford to do so. I myself am mostly using an overdraft to fund the trip. as well as whatever birthday Money I get. I am already a fair bit into my overdraft so I could do without this.

Well she did give you 5 days notice. you said it would take 3 days to get a refund so you had time to cancel and book someplace else, yet you only called the hotel today .... has only 1 person got a credit card???? sounds to me like you are being awkward.

on top of that, you shouldnt be going away if you clearly cant afford to...

My good God. How preachy are you?
As another poster said, it's up to the OP to decide what they can and cannot afford.
And certainly not for you to preach down to.
It's not even the point of the thread.

LegacyUser

When I booked the trip I was expecting to have a lot more money,but due to illness and an unexpected funeral i needed to take a lot of days off and as a result I got paid a lot less than usual. I didnt willy nilly just booked a holiday,it was booked months ago. and i decided to still go seeing as it was my birthday and i finish college in may i can begin to pay it back then,not that i need to explain myself

musicinyou

Op! your friends a Scab! No ifs or buts about it, and if she is like anything iv seen in the past then you guys aint getting that money back!! its just the kind of person she is! So going forward you just gotta exclude her from any goings on! To be perfectly honest do you guys really want or need a friend like that? I know I wouldn’t! id just drop it because all its doing is winding you up(and that’s not good ), it seems to be you doing all the running around and chasing for the money also! Which shouldn’t be the case too! Yep certainly id drop miss skanky pants! Cause what she has done is really skanky!!