February 29th - Would you? Will you? Have you?

Chinafoot

So today is the 29th of February, the day that women were traditionally permitted to propose to their boyfriend.

According to wikipedia:

Wiki wrote:

In the British Isles, it is a tradition that women may propose marriage only on leap years. While it has been claimed that the tradition was initiated by Saint Patrick or Brigid of Kildare in 5th century Ireland, this is dubious, as the tradition has not been attested before the 19th century. Supposedly, a 1288 law by Queen Margaret of Scotland (then age five and living in Norway), required that fines be levied if a marriage proposal was refused by the man; compensation ranged from a kiss to £1 to a silk gown, in order to soften the blow. In some places the tradition was tightened to restricting female proposals to the modern leap day, February 29, or to the medieval (bissextile) leap day, February 24.

According to Felten: "A play from the turn of the 17th century, 'The Maydes Metamorphosis,' has it that 'this is leape year/women wear breeches.' A few hundred years later, breeches wouldn't do at all: Women looking to take advantage of their opportunity to pitch woo were expected to wear a scarlet petticoat—fair warning, if you will."

In Denmark, the tradition is that women may propose on the bissextile leap day, February 24, and that refusal must be compensated with 12 pairs of gloves.

In Finland, the tradition is that if a man refuses a woman's proposal on leap day, he should buy her the fabrics for a skirt.[citation needed]

In Greece, marriage in a leap year is considered unlucky. One in five engaged couples in Greece will plan to avoid getting married in a leap year.

Women proposing to men seems to be a bit of a taboo area, even in 2012. I know many men that have said they would hate to be asked by their girlfriend. They seem to think it would make them less of man. Then again, why should a woman wait to be proposed to if getting married is something she wants?

So given the day thats in it...

Would you propose? Have you?

How do you think your partner would react?

baby and crumble

I proposed, but then I'm a lady too. I'm pretty sure my gf had some kind of interior seizure. I totally surprised her, woo!

I don't see why a woman should have to wait to be proposed to though. Makes no sense to me. All that happens is that the man gets to be in control of setting the pace, for want of a better expression.

Babybuff

baby and crumble wrote: »

I proposed, but then I'm a lady too. I'm pretty sure my gf had some kind of interior seizure. I totally surprised her, woo!

I don't see why a woman should have to wait to be proposed to though. Makes no sense to me. All that happens is that the man gets to be in control of setting the pace, for want of a better expression.

congrats

southsiderosie

The BF and I were joking around about it one afternoon, and then we paused for a second and asked each other at the same time. Then we both said yes.

I may be an unusual case though: my ideal plan for the wedding would be a family bowling tournament with beer and pizza instead of a rehearsal dinner, followed by a kick ass garden BBQ & wedding the day after. So I guess you could say I'm not really into the 'traditional' ways of doing this kind of stuff. :pac:

Acoshla

I didn't propose but then he barely did either, we were just chatting about friends getting engaged in general (we had talked about marriage in the past, as a "down the road" type thing) and it was very quickly decided that we would too! I would have no problem with it, I actually contemplated planning to do it but I can't keep secrets so that would never have worked, I'd end up blurting it out about two days after I'd decide to plan it, he'd be the same which is probably why he never did it previously either.

I actually don't really like the idea of being asked, and the assumption that goes with it that you were waiting - fingers crossed and pleading to the gods of pretty weddings - for him to ask. There was actually an article written about my business recently and the journalist referenced me getting engaged, she wrote that I was finally getting to walk down the aisle...made me sound quite desperate, which is ridiculous, I got engaged last year at 26 after 3 years with him, hardly "finally"! My friend's boyfriend proposed recently, planned it in secret for 6 months, designed the ring, picked the place, etc, all without her even getting a hint of it, I'm uneasy with that level of ability to cover something up for so long!

Dolbert

I would if we weren't engaged yet and I wanted to get things moving along! As it happened I initiated the first conversation that led to the second conversation that led to him asking... we had decided that 'someday' we would get married but it was only when we sat down and really talked about it that anything happened.

Ayla

I proposed to my husband this morning...we've been married almost 7 years now, but he said he'd marry me all over again

lilmissprincess

I'm still at the stage where I'm trying to convince myself to use the excuse to ask a guy out on a date!

Maple

Yep, just sent him an email there now asking him. There was a nice picture inside in, just in case you guys think I'm completely soulless. :pac:

cch

No, no, NO!! While I'm all for equality etc, in this case I think proposing marriage is definitely something that the guy needs to think about and come to the conclusion BY HIMSELF that yes this is the woman he is mad about and wants to spend the rest of his life with. If he hasn't reached that point (yet) and she asks him, then I'm sure the immediate thought process is probably something like "Oh shoot, she'll cry and then dump me if I say no so I better say yes quick"

Moonbeam

I sent him a calendar invite...
He turned up on the day;)

yawha

cch wrote: »

No, no, NO!! While I'm all for equality etc, in this case I think proposing marriage is definitely something that the guy needs to think about and come to the conclusion BY HIMSELF that yes this is the woman he is mad about and wants to spend the rest of his life with. If he hasn't reached that point (yet) and she asks him, then I'm sure the immediate thought process is probably something like "Oh shoot, she'll cry and then dump me if I say no so I better say yes quick"

Um, how is the situation in anyway different if the genders are reversed?

wmpdd3

I asked him 12 years ago, he said yes, 2 kids later were still engaged!

Stheno

In the spirit of the day, I jokingly said to the bf while we were sitting on the sofa chilling "So will we get married?", to which he replied "I thought you'd never ask"

It then turned into a discussion about when/why/where etc, nothing serious at all, both of us would be second timers and are in no rush.

The end result? We'll talk about it seriously in a few more years

I'll start planning a serious proposal if we are still around in 2016

jay phelan

I'm all for equality just like the above poster stated but I'm very old fashioned and like the thought of a man's proposal rather than a women but that's just me and I don't see a problem with women doing the proposal in general, silly to base it on just one day every year though!

Blush_01

I'd propose if I had someone worth proposing to, and if I wanted to. But I don't, on both counts, and that's fine.

If I was going to propose though, I'm damned if it would be on 29th of February.

I figure whoever ended up stuck with me would know me well enough to be ok with me proposing and wouldn't feel emasculated by it. Otherwise, I guess he'd be the wrong person to be playing "Happy Ever After" with!

Lia_lia

I'd honestly never heard of this "tradition" until today. How had I not heard about it before?! I never want to get married full stop.


Reminds me of the Friends episode where Phoebe proposes to yer man..

Princess Peach

I sent my boyfriend a proposal from some silly online wedding chapel today, he accepted

As far as I know I meant it as a joke though, better double check with him :pac:

Don't have any issues with women proposing at all, but I know my boyfriend is a bit traditional and wants to do it. If I did have the intention of proposing though I wouldn't wait a long amount of time for a leap year to come around.

anamaria

I proposed yesterday and he said yes. Success!

ihsb

I have been waiting to marry since I was five. So when I am in love with a guy that is it for me so it is kind of a case of waiting for them to reach the level of five-year-old me! So them asking me would be them saying that they are finally ready...

neuro-praxis

ihsb wrote: »

I have been waiting to marry since I was five. So when I am in love with a guy that is it for me so it is kind of a case of waiting for them to reach the level of five-year-old me! So them asking me would be them saying that they are finally ready...

Look I'm married. I married young and I love being married. But there is more to life than being bloody married!

Take your life into your own hands, don't wait around for someone else to want what you wanted as a five year old. :eek:

ihsb

neuro-praxis wrote: »

Look I'm married. I married young and I love being married. But there is more to life than being bloody married!

Take your life into your own hands, don't wait around for someone else to want what you wanted as a five year old. :eek:

No, No I didn't mean it like that! I mean when I am single I love that too! I am very happy alone actually I am just saying I have always wanted to meet that someone special and commitment doesn't scare me.

Lorrs33

I have no problem with women proposing to men, good for them. For me personally, however, I would want my boyfriend to propose because while I feel I would marry him tomorrow if he asked me, I think he still has a long way to go before he would commit to it. For him to ask me would be a definite sign that he's ready, I'd rather not put him on the spot. Another reason I have for him proposing too would be the history of wedding proposals in my family, or lack of. Everyone in my family seemed to get engaged either by twisting their partner's arm or have theirs twisted by their partner. I'm not a big romantic but I would love it to be spontaneous.

Here's a question though that's been annoying me, if the woman proposes, does she have to buy her own ring?? Surely it's mean to propose to the guy and make him hand out money!

Tigger99

In answer to this question, no i wouldn't:).

Lorrs33 wrote: »

Here's a question though that's been annoying me, if the woman proposes, does she have to buy her own ring?? Surely it's mean to propose to the guy and make him hand out money!

A lot of couples buy the engagement ring from their joint account, or the guy buys the ring and the girl gets him a fab engagement pressie. I know that you are joking but I hate this sense of entitlement that a guy must hand out money (by himself).

Otis Driftwood

A mate of mine proposed to her fella the other day and he said yes,going to their engagement party tomorrow night.