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Men trying a girl i'm seeing

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    #32
    Fenian Army
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,483 ✭✭✭Fenian Army


    Look at it differently, your girlfriend is very attractive and all the lads in the pub get shot down/rejected because she wants you.


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    #33
    king kenny 7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭king kenny 7


    I hate this thanks for the replys.I have tried to ignore them but it's really hard, it's not like i just met her and somebody posted that it's wrong to be in love with her after a few months but i'm sorry i know her all my life and we were always good friends.

    I'm drunk now and she was working today and no i was not there to look after her.I only have work 3 days a week now so went out with my friend.I will sound harmless now but i dont care.She was working and she spend most of the day talking to me but as soon as she left the lads kept winding me up and i know it's my fault for letting them but i can have a laugh as much as anybody but i don't see the laugh in winding up anybody's wife or girlfriend :mad:

    I am really quiet when i'm out but i hate people talking about her or her sisters.I hit a man a box in the mouth and cut him open.I know i won't be barred out of the pub because i'm related to the owners but i don't want trouble why can't they just leave me alone?

    I will probably get the replys about me trying to run her life and i'm not.I just love her and don't want people talking bad about her.I know she loves me too and we will never fall out with each other.I just love her so much because we were such good friends before i was ever with her and it's not just a sex thing i just love spending time with her.


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    #34
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    You punched a guy for winding you up about her?

    Forget about people winding you and her up for a minute. You need to seek professional help. It is in no way normal to react that way to people joking around at your expense. Your reactions and the things you have said on this thread are not normal, they're completely overboard and frankly if I was going out with someone like that, I'd be terrified and would dump them.

    She works in a bar, she's going to be hit on and people are going to wind you up. You're the person foolish enough to let them know they've gotten to you. You seem incapable of controlling your insecurity or jealousy.


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    #35
    RDM_83 again
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,116 ✭✭✭RDM_83 again


    LyndaMcL wrote: »
    You punched a guy for winding you up about her?

    Forget about people winding you and her up for a minute. You need to seek professional help. It is in no way normal to react that way to people joking around at your expense. Your reactions and the things you have said on this thread are not normal, they're completely overboard and frankly if I was going out with someone like that, I'd be terrified and would dump them.

    She works in a bar, she's going to be hit on and people are going to wind you up. You're the person foolish enough to let them know they've gotten to you. You seem incapable of controlling your insecurity or jealousy.

    You might be right about this but only the OP is actually experiencing the situation, there are situations in which slaggings and windups stop being funny (to the neutral observer its generally not great for the recipient any) and start becoming bullying, the OP says he's a quiet sort of guy so that might make the teasing all the worse, especially as if the girl is really that good looking there may be a good healthy dose of "she's going out with him" (no offense OP), slaggings fine but these guys might not even know him.

    Its stupid hitting a guy over a slagging, but I'd say a lot of men would smack a guy if he said something like "I'm going to F_ck your GF/wife" particularly if he's not a friend (where it is friends it can be laughed off as winding etc). And I'm saying this as an extremely non-violent person.


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    #36
    Jumpy
    Registered Users Posts: 7,606 ✭✭✭Jumpy


    Let me guess. You are pretty young too?

    Jealousy is not a mature mans trait.

    No matter how bad you have it. Orlando Bloom has it worse.


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    #37
    mikemac1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    king kenny 7 wrote: »
    I hit a man a box in the mouth and cut him open.

    You disregarded every bit of advice on this thread and now you've take it to a new stage

    You're like a puppet OP, it's ridiculously easy to wind you up and that's why the locals pick on you. They know how to push your buttons.
    If you were cool and didn't care they would stop trying to get a rise out of you

    You say you are quiet, seems to me you overthink things and build up small events into huge issues in your head. The locals don't care about you and your girlfriend, most are worrying about themselves

    And now you've hit a lad in the face.
    king kenny 7 wrote: »
    don't want trouble why can't they just leave me alone?

    A confident person wouldn't have been bothered at all by the slagging and would have given a few cutting replies.

    You struggled and got flustered and swung a punch.

    Sometimes, yes sometimes threats and abuse go too far and someone deserves a smack but it wasn't over this situation or anything in this thread

    Whats done is done, don't apologise to the lad but take a break from the pub for a few weeks


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    #38
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,773 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    You won't get barred because you're related to the owners? You mightn't be barred but you might be asked to stay away for a while. Or worse, they might put pressure on your gf to keep you away for a while.

    You being there is affecting her work. If you really cared that much for her, you'd stay out of the way.

    Your too immature to deal with the "big lads" in the pub. So until you can handle it/them, I'd advise, for the sake of your gf that you give it a miss for a while.

    Otherwise, you're going to get dumped.


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    #39
    I am a friend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭I am a friend


    king kenny 7 wrote: »
    I hit a man a box in the mouth and cut him open.

    If you did that when going out with me you would be dumped....


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    #40
    king kenny 7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭king kenny 7


    I feel really bad today now.I didn't go to the pub for a fight yesterday, one of my friends rang me and we went for a few pints.I will admit that i lost my head but seriously some of the things he was saying i just couldn't help it.I get on really well with her family and often drink with her father.

    I'm going for a few pints now and no she's not working incase you guys think i'm watching her.I was talking to her and she's at home and she knows what happened.I just want to get a few pints because i feel really bad about what happened and i just want to forget about it.


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    #41
    I am a friend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭I am a friend


    king kenny 7 wrote: »
    I just want to get a few pints because i feel really bad about what happened and i just want to forget about it.

    Its barely lunchtime and you are going again for pints????? Think you woudl have learned last night that drink and you dont mix... I would start to think about my drinking habits if I were you. Are you working? if not then volunteer work would be a good idea to keep your mind busy.


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    #42
    Herrick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 903 ✭✭✭Herrick


    In fairness to the OP, that guy may have deserved a good slap. I know plenty of loud mouth bastards who just keep going on and believe me, a lot try to put borderline abuse down as "slagging"

    Now I'm not saying hitting him was the best way to go, I'm just saying that given what some people can come out with in these situations, a lot of people wouldn't blame someone for hitting them a slap.

    Although I have a feeling he won't open his mouth to you again ;)

    OP try and prepare a few nice comebacks for any of the hassle you get anymore, usually if your seen as easy to wind up they will keep at it, but a couple of sweetly placed comments will shut them up ;)


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    #43
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    It's against the law to hit someone, regardless of how annoying you might find them.
    You're not accomplishing anything by it. You're only getting away with doing it because you can't do it properly. If you could, you'd do proper damage, and serious consequences for you yourself would be fairly likely. A ten year old could split someone's lip tbh. Not something to feel empowered about there.

    Dont assume someone you hit will be keen to do you favours. They can tell the guards. They might not even tell them the truth.

    It's scumbaggy behaviour if you hit someone for any reason apart from defence against someone genuinely dangerous. That's not even applicable if you can't do it properly - and you can't. All you've done is made a complete tool of yourself there.


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    #44
    Chinafoot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    So basically by hitting this bloke you have:

    - Put your relatives that own the pub in a crap position
    - Put your girlfriend and her job in a crap position
    - Shown yourself to be completely immature and unable to deal with a slagging.

    And now your answer to this is to go and drink more?

    If I was your relative you'd be barred, simple as that. The fact that you seem to think there will be no repercussions for your actions just further proves your immaturity.

    If I was your girlfriend you'd be dumped. You made an absolute show of her in her workplace and you could have seriously jeopardised her job there. If you loved her even half as much as you claim to you would stop drinking in that pub and let her get on with her work. Something has to give here and no employer (relative or not) will put up with nonsense like that in their business. One of you will end up having to go, and if you had any sense at all you would make sure its you.

    You claim you're not looking for trouble yet you insist on going back to that pub despite being completely unable to rise above the slagging.

    I would seriously advise you to take a good hard look at your drinking habits and also decide whether this ridiculous need to protect your girlfriend's honour outweighs her need for employment.


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    #45
    king kenny 7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭king kenny 7


    I can't believe that people think i'm in the wrong here.I won't fall out with the girlfriend, i had 9 pints today and i'm home now because i'm going to the cinema with her tonight.I was talking to the man that owns the bar and he asked what happened last night and the other man is barred.

    I do love my girlfriend and don't listen to people bad mouthing her or her family.He told her that her 8 year old sister was fat like her mother.I don't go out for a fight i love going out with my friends but is that classed as slagging?


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    #46
    king kenny 7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭king kenny 7


    Chinafoot wrote: »
    So basically by hitting this bloke you have:

    - Put your relatives that own the pub in a crap position
    - Put your girlfriend and her job in a crap position
    - Shown yourself to be completely immature and unable to deal with a slagging.

    And now your answer to this is to go and drink more?

    If I was your relative you'd be barred, simple as that. The fact that you seem to think there will be no repercussions for your actions just further proves your immaturity.

    If I was your girlfriend you'd be dumped. You made an absolute show of her in her workplace and you could have seriously jeopardised her job there. If you loved her even half as much as you claim to you would stop drinking in that pub and let her get on with her work. Something has to give here and no employer (relative or not) will put up with nonsense like that in their business. One of you will end up having to go, and if you had any sense at all you would make sure its you.

    You claim you're not looking for trouble yet you insist on going back to that pub despite being completely unable to rise above the slagging.

    I would seriously advise you to take a good hard look at your drinking habits and also decide whether this ridiculous need to protect your girlfriend's honour outweighs her need for employment.


    I have always drank in that pub and won't change where i go because of this crap.The girlfriend need not worry there is no chance of her getting sacked.


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    #47
    Chinafoot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    king kenny 7 wrote: »
    I can't believe that people think i'm in the wrong here.

    You punched someone in the face in your girlfriend's place of work. I can't believe you think you're in the right tbh.
    king kenny 7 wrote: »
    I won't fall out with the girlfriend,

    You might if she loses her job over your behaviour while she is working.
    king kenny 7 wrote: »
    i had 9 pints today and i'm home now because i'm going to the cinema with her tonight.

    You had 9 pints in under 4 hours today? You need to take a serious look at your drinking.
    king kenny 7 wrote: »
    I was talking to the man that owns the bar and he asked what happened last night and the other man is barred.

    And what happens next time someone says something to or about your girlfriend that you don't like? Is the man who owns the bar going to refuse entry to everyone that you decide to swing your fists at? I hope you at least apologised to the owner for your behaviour?
    king kenny 7 wrote: »
    I do love my girlfriend and don't listen to people bad mouthing her or her family.He told her that her 8 year old sister was fat like her mother.I don't go out for a fight i love going out with my friends but is that classed as slagging?

    He was speaking to your girlfriend. She works behind a bar so I am sure she is well used to dealing with utter morons. If she took issue with what he said about her sister and mother she can very easily report him to a more senior member of staff and have him removed from the premises. She does not need her boyfriend acting like a neanderthal by throwing punches in her defence. You are not her personal bodyguard ffs. You had the option to ignore him or report him to the staff but you instead chose to act like an idiot. If your girlfriend is impressed by your carry-on then she is as immature as you are tbh. Any right minded person would be appalled at your behaviour.

    Why do you continue to drink in the pub where she works? Why do you continue to put yourself in a situation where you are going to be easily riled?


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    #48
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    Nice pm I got there.
    LOL mate i'm a scumbag who can't throw a box and i'm good for nothing that can't do anything that a 10 year old couldn't do.Where are you from? because any day you wan't to chance it mate your more than welcome.


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    #49
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    sunflower27 wrote: »
    From? Report?
    From the OP.
    Reported a couple of much worse PMs than that before and nothing happened, so I dont see much point really.


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    #50
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    king kenny 7 wrote: »
    I can't believe that people think i'm in the wrong here.I won't fall out with the girlfriend, i had 9 pints today and i'm home now because i'm going to the cinema with her tonight.I was talking to the man that owns the bar and he asked what happened last night and the other man is barred.

    I do love my girlfriend and don't listen to people bad mouthing her or her family.He told her that her 8 year old sister was fat like her mother.I don't go out for a fight i love going out with my friends but is that classed as slagging?

    I think you are behaving horribly OP, I really do. I don't think you are doing this on purpose; I'm not even sure you realise how your behaviour is perceived. Dear god, you can't behave like you are and not expect to get arrested, or worse than that, end up hitting someone and seriously hurting them. And you are treating you GF as though she is a possession, and anything you perceive as an insult seems to turn you to violence.

    Surely what should guide you is how she feels. Has she ever even intimated that you should 'stand up for her' in this way? Tbh, if I were her, your behaviour would raise so many red flags of violence and controlling behaviour that I would run as fast as I could. Even your thread title alone would make me feel weird: guys 'trying' her?! As has been said already on this thread: if she has a problem with the punters in her workplace, then she needs to go to her boss. ATM it sounds like you aren't even asking whether SHE thinks the punters are a problem, and dishing out your fists to revenge your own dented ego.

    If you want to keep seeing this girl, please stop the violence and controlling behaviour. It's not attractive, it's not defending her, it's clearly not improving the situation, and it is downright scary.


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    #51
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Thread closed.

    OP has received a wealth of advice detailing on their need to face and appropriately deal with their jealousy. At this piont in time despite repeated appeals for doing this the OP appears unrepentent in their behaviour going so far as to assault another individual. As our charter expressly bans advocating violence we are left with little choice here.

    blatantrereg - please report those PMs again if you have not already done so. Our Admin stands ready to review them immediately

    Regards
    Taltos


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