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Tell us a secret.

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24

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    #32
    Mr. CooL ICE
    Registered Users Posts: 17,530 ✭✭✭✭Mr. CooL ICE


    I cant pee straight. No matter what i try, it always goes in at least two directions simultaneously. Every time i go to the jacks, i have to pee like a girl or else the toilet seat/floor/wall get drenched. Even when using a urinal, i need to hold it with two hands to prevent spraying my pants or someone beside me.


    There, ive said it /wipes sweat from forehead


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    #33
    KeithAFC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,239 ✭✭✭✭KeithAFC


    I like Jedwards Waterline song :p


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    #34
    bob the bob
    Registered Users Posts: 179 ✭✭bob the bob


    there was a website (can't remember the URL) where people entered their secrets anonymously, the creepiest one I saw was....



    "people think I died in 9/11"


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    #35
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    bob the bob wrote: »
    there was a website (can't remember the URL) where people entered their secrets anonymously, the creepiest one I saw was....



    "people think I died in 9/11"

    Grouphug.us ?


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    #36
    John Doe1
    Registered Users Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭John Doe1


    Im cheating on my gf with....internet pornography:o


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    #37
    c28omzk7ihsxv0
    Closed Accounts Posts: 878 ✭✭✭c28omzk7ihsxv0


    LordChessington wrote: »
    I cant pee straight. No matter what i try, it always goes in at least two directions simultaneously. Every time i go to the jacks, i have to pee like a girl or else the toilet seat/floor/wall get drenched. Even when using a urinal, i need to hold it with two hands to prevent spraying my pants or someone beside me.


    There, ive said it /wipes sweat from forehead
    you have some semen or something stuck in there (Heard it fromm robot chicken)


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    #38
    Seachmall
    Registered Users Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    Abril Ripe Pointless wrote: »
    (Heard it fromm robot chicken)

    Suuuuuure you did...


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    #39
    Rothko
    Registered Users Posts: 12,852 ✭✭✭✭Rothko


    I robbed a bank in the north a few years ago and never got caught.


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    #40
    mysteries1984
    Registered Users Posts: 553 ✭✭✭mysteries1984


    Shootings, bank robbings, pornography, this is great. Anyone want to chime in with a second, or even third?

    I will, as it's my thread, and I wussed out initially. I post naked photos of myself on the internet because I'm an attention wh*re.


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    #41
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    mysteries1984 wrote: »
    Not yet, but we're going away this weekend, we'll see how that one pans out.

    An ex did make this of me though...I met him on the internet. Lesson not learned, apparently.

    You've got big hands :eek:


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    #42
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    mysteries1984 wrote: »
    Shootings, bank robbings, pornography, this is great. Anyone want to chime in with a second, or even third?

    I will, as it's my thread, and I wussed out initially. I post naked photos of myself on the internet because I'm an attention wh*re.

    And why are you an attention whore?


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    #43
    wideangle
    Registered Users Posts: 925 ✭✭✭wideangle


    It would no longer be a secret if I told you


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    #44
    WoollyRedHat
    Registered Users Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    O.k here it goes


    I............ dropped the screw.............. in the tuna..

    I......... DROPPED THE SCREW...... IN THE TUNA, it was me

    I,......... DROPPED THE SCREEEEEEEW .... IN THE TUNA

    I didn't mean it, don't put me to jail man!


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    #45
    WoollyRedHat
    Registered Users Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    Phew, glad to get that off my chest, been bugging me for a while now


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    #46
    Spoonman75
    Closed Accounts Posts: 184 ✭✭Spoonman75


    I'm on the bog right now. Seriously!


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    #47
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Spoonman75 wrote: »
    I'm on the bog right now. Seriously!

    pics :D


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    #48
    Mr Benevolent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    Enda Kenny is really a woman.

    Wait, that's not a secret.


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    #49
    Ted_YNWA
    Registered Users Posts: 71,799 ✭✭✭✭Ted_YNWA


    i now how they get the figs in the fig rolls


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    #50
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Ted_YNWA wrote: »
    i now how they get the figs in the fig rolls

    So does everyone with google.


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    #51
    Raditub
    Registered Users Posts: 116 ✭✭Raditub


    I do pottery....what a dirrrrty secret :P


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    #52
    some random drunk
    Registered Users Posts: 967 ✭✭✭some random drunk


    I used to work for an Insurance Broker. I discovered some clients had paid us for motor insurance but we never placed any cover. When I showed this to my boss, it was decided that we shouldn't refund the clients and instead should keep the money even though they had essentially paid us for nothing.


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    #53
    Spoonman75
    Closed Accounts Posts: 184 ✭✭Spoonman75


    stupidusername wrote: »
    pics :D

    NSFW!:o


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    #54
    danslevent
    Registered Users Posts: 893 ✭✭✭danslevent


    bob the bob wrote: »
    there was a website (can't remember the URL) where people entered their secrets anonymously, the creepiest one I saw was....



    "people think I died in 9/11"

    postsecret.com


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    #55
    superstoner90
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,076 ✭✭✭superstoner90


    There is no jokes about vegetables but if you think of one get back to me. I hear that their "Sprouting" up eveywhere!


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    #56
    TeddyTedson
    Registered Users Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    I worked in a bakery and often wanked into the cakes :)


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    #57
    paddy kerins
    Site Banned Posts: 1,856 ✭✭✭paddy kerins


    I'm batman


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    #58
    mattjack
    Registered Users Posts: 5,389 ✭✭✭mattjack


    TeddyTedson wrote: »
    I worked in a bakery and often wanked into the cakes :)

    So did I and chocolate eclairs are not all what they seem.


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    #59
    Stereomaniac
    Registered Users Posts: 6,166 ✭✭✭Stereomaniac


    I stole from my friends, á la Renton taking Tommy's video in Trainspotting and said nothing.


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    #60
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    TeddyTedson wrote: »
    I worked in a bakery and often wanked into the cakes :)

    Never eating a custard Danish again!! :mad:


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    #61
    Explosions in the Sky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 191 ✭✭Explosions in the Sky


    Stereomaniac wrote: »
    I stole from my friends, á la Renton taking Tommy's video in Trainspotting and said nothing.
    You have just led to the ultimate downfall of Tommy and his relationship Meow Meow
    (Only fans of the film will understand) :D


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