Sick of people being weird with me

LegacyUser

Will make this brief as possible. Lived with a girl and became friends with her. Met a fella through a guy she was then dating, lets call her Karen and him Peter. My fella is Kevin. We all became good friends even after Karen and Peter fizzled out. Karen did have a lot of issues and could get on my nerves some times though we never really fell out or anything. She moved out and gave a big elaborate excuse which was obvious crap but I didn't say anything. After she moved out she contacted me once or twice to collect stuff and I got the whole "we must do lunch" thing. We were all out on a night out and Karen and her friend were out she didn't come over and say hello all night, she was near enough our table and was chatting to other people in the group.I went to the loo and she was there I was right in her face so she had to say something to me and I got a big fake "Well, Hello how are you" and the fake smile routine. There's another fella in the group Stephen, who I became friends with and would send me the odd funny joking message if he was sending them on or text me to see if myself and Kevin were going out. We used to chat away and he'd even ask for advice etc. Anways all of a sudden Stephen has started being weird with me ignoring me etc, wished everyone a Happy New Year in the pub and walked past me. Makes bs excuses why he never responds to my texts etc. Turns out Karen has also deleted me off facebook. People keep telling me not to let it bother me but its very hard when its one of your bfs best friends and someone you used to be friends with its hard not to let it get to you. I've often given this guy a lift home or over to the pub if he was stuck. If i've done something on someone i'd prefer them to come out and say it but this treatment just wrecks my head. My bf made a lame attempt at resolving it by asking him is there any reason he's ignoring me and he just replied with an obvious lie. I recently had an issue with a girl over a completely unrelated incident and completely different circle of friends. It makes you think it must be you or something. People say i'm paranoid and not to let it get to me but its hard when your stuck in the middle of it. I'm in my twenties so don't need this schoolyard crap.

qwertytlk

Well the way i see it you have two choices here...
Firstly you could just confront them. Ask them both seperatley what the problem is, have you done something to upset them etc and see what happens. If you feel either one is giving you a bs excuse then call them on it.
Secondly, you could choose to ignore them both as if there havent even been any obvious incidents or reasons that they shold be angry with you then thet are both probably just petty people who your better off without. From the sounds of it you werent mad about this girl in the first place anyway!
I know thats not much consolation when there are 2 people being weird with you and making things awkward and uncomfortable....so if it were me i would probably just try and clear the air and protect yourself from this **** in thr future by not getting involved with either one of them again. Be polite if you see them out or whatever but leave it at that!
Best of luck

LegacyUser

I've tried confronting my bfs friend in a non-confrontational manner and he gave me a bs excuse and was overly nice to me, then continued to be weird. Just think it's a co-incidence that he's been weird and she's deleted me from FB around the same time. I know he fancies her and there's rumours they've been together and in contact. That's fair enough, none of my business dont' care if they were just you know how people can be blinded by people they fancy. This girl had a major fallen out with previous housemates and I heard all about how terrible they were, then before she moved out of the place we were living in I could see simlilar patterns of behaviour forming based on what she told me about her last place, as in I could see why her previous housemates would have acted the way they did, said certain things, just seems like she's put a whole spin on things to make her look like the victim.

James W

It's her issue - ignore it. You can be sure that the truth will reveal itself at some future point. You cannot be responsible for the issues of others. However, having said all of that, are you absolutely certain that you have no idea what the cause might be? If you go back to her moving out, was there anything that prompted it?

LegacyUser

No I think there was an air of jealousy when I got a bf, tried to include her make separate plans with her etc but she just stopped wanting to do anything.

LegacyUser

Turns out this girl has also deleted my bf and his brother, but kept my bfs friend who she made out to be the biggest ahole in the world and has kept people who work with my bf that she only knows through him, weird. I don't know why this is annoying me so much, I guess it's because I know something has been said and I hate been treated like crap when i've done nothing wrong.

curlzy

OP,

I'm gonna keep short. She's jealous that you have a boyfriend and get on well with others. She then does all this childish **** and gets one other guy in on the act. Now you have a choice, either a) let it consume your thoughts and wreck your head and get dragged into the drama or b) stay away from the headwrecker and just let them get on with it, people aren't thick they'll know she's making **** up. Seriously it's as easy as that, just ignore it all, she'll look like a fool going on the way she is. You have my pity though, it is an annoying situation to be in.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys,

It's just very frustrating, i'm a straight person and if someone had done something on me I didn't like i'd talk it out with them. That's why this type of thing gets on my nerves. Your right though best to ignore it.

LegacyUser

Sorry to be dragging up an old thread but i'm at the end of my tether with this. Basically the bfs friend is still been an ass to me. My bf said it to him and so did I, he apologised said he didn't realise and never intentionally meant to treat me like that. Now he is ignoring me again. He gets on great with our mutuals friends gf and comments on her FB, invites her places etc. I set up an event on FB and invited him and the other friend/friends gf and it has been ignored. He recently liked a statement on FB " The sad loss of your friend due to them being f****n whipped", I can't help but feel this is directed at me. What do I do??

28064212

Fedupbeentreatedlikecrap wrote: »

Sorry to be dragging up an old thread but i'm at the end of my tether with this. Basically the bfs friend is still been an ass to me. My bf said it to him and so did I, he apologised said he didn't realise and never intentionally meant to treat me like that. Now he is ignoring me again. He gets on great with our mutuals friends gf and comments on her FB, invites her places etc. I set up an event on FB and invited him and the other friend/friends gf and it has been ignored. He recently liked a statement on FB " The sad loss of your friend due to them being f****n whipped", I can't help but feel this is directed at me. What do I do??

Get over it? Nothing you do will suddenly turn him into a nice person. Accept he's an ass and move on. Stop caring what someone who is an ass thinks of you

girlonfire

OP, I know how frustrating this is and quite upsetting no doubt.
To reiterate what other posters have said, make a decision to move on and ignore these people. Nobody needs drama like this in their lives. These people are clearly on a different wavelength than yourself. They don't sound like emotionally mature people to me.I know how these things get in on you. I find this kind of behaviour upsetting too, but sometimes you just have to move on.

You've done your bit by asking what the problem is. If they aren't mature enough to discuss their issue with you, do you really want them in your life? The girl sounds like she thrives on drama so if I were in your shoes, I'd leave her to it and focus on the positive people you have around you. They are far more worthy of your energy, as are you yourself.

Don't let a******s like this get you down!
Good luck. X

looksee

Have you considered any other interpretations, for example you said at one point she was in a pub 'and didn't come over to me'. And you didn't go over to her, so how is she at fault here?

ziedth

Screw 'em OP,

It's their problem so I wouldn't give it a second thought if I were you. My advice is to be nice as pie when you see them out but don't bring it up again. Life in my opinion is much to short to spend time worrying about people who don't care about you.

I know it's tough and having been through a slightly similar experience I know it can hurt but you sound like a nice caring girl so have a nice time with your fella and try make some new friends or reconnected with some old ones.

Good luck.

Fedupbeentreatedlikecrap

Fedupbeentreatedlikecrap wrote: »

Sorry to be dragging up an old thread but i'm at the end of my tether with this. Basically the bfs friend is still been an ass to me. My bf said it to him and so did I, he apologised said he didn't realise and never intentionally meant to treat me like that. Now he is ignoring me again. He gets on great with our mutuals friends gf and comments on her FB, invites her places etc. I set up an event on FB and invited him and the other friend/friends gf and it has been ignored. He recently liked a statement on FB " The sad loss of your friend due to them being f****n whipped", I can't help but feel this is directed at me. What do I do??

I think the real issue here is your sort of paranoid in yourself that you done something to them. F**k em, look when i was younger i wanted everyone's approval and the more i wanted it, the worse i was treated. Nowadays i just dont give a f*ck what people think. You as a person have to become content in your own skin. Fact is you have different dynamic with every single person you come into contact with in this world. I dont mean to offend you but it sounds like this problem could be more to do with your insecurities and the more insecure you are, the harder you are trying and the more you are failing.

Here is a quote from Dr Seuss.

" Those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter. "

greenteaicedtea

Sorry to repeat the advice you've already heard but... ignore these people, find new friends and move on. Time will help you forget.

I had someone giving me frozen grins at work. I had asked him out, and we never went out. He started dating a girl who was new at work, she hated me on sight. So then he started giving me these fakey smiles. They only ended when I glared at him once... maybe he interpreted me as fake too? It was so awkward and I was glad when he found a different job.

LegacyUser

Deleted User wrote: »

I think the real issue here is your sort of paranoid in yourself that you done something to them. F**k em, look when i was younger i wanted everyone's approval and the more i wanted it, the worse i was treated. Nowadays i just dont give a f*ck what people think. You as a person have to become content in your own skin. Fact is you have different dynamic with every single person you come into contact with in this world. I dont mean to offend you but it sounds like this problem could be more to do with your insecurities and the more insecure you are, the harder you are trying and the more you are failing.

Here is a quote from Dr Seuss.

" Those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter. "

I see where you are coming from but that's completely untrue, if he doesn't like, has a problem with me etc fair enough, but I asked him what the problem was he said nothing, then goes back to acting like a d**k again. It's not paranoia if it's actually true.

LegacyUser

Deleted User wrote: »

Originally Posted by tipp_Gunner
I think the real issue here is your sort of paranoid in yourself that you done something to them. F**k em, look when i was younger i wanted everyone's approval and the more i wanted it, the worse i was treated. Nowadays i just dont give a f*ck what people think. You as a person have to become content in your own skin. Fact is you have different dynamic with every single person you come into contact with in this world. I dont mean to offend you but it sounds like this problem could be more to do with your insecurities and the more insecure you are, the harder you are trying and the more you are failing.

Here is a quote from Dr Seuss.

" Those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter. "

Fedupbeentreatedlikecrap wrote: »

I see where you are coming from but that's completely untrue, if he doesn't like, has a problem with me etc fair enough, but I asked him what the problem was he said nothing, then goes back to acting like a d**k again. It's not paranoia if it's actually true.

Even if you confronted him and he said nothing is wrong and he continues this behaviour; then it is time to ignore him and move on, end of story. Some people are passive aggressive (worst in my opinion). They say nothing is wrong but continue to act their merry d*ckish way. Those people are not worth your time, energy and effort. It is their loss and your gain. You've gained by getting rid of toxic people in your life.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the responses. Unfortunately it's not as simple as cut them out and move on. He is one of my bfs best friends so I will have to be in his company.

28064212

Fedupbeentreatedlikecrap wrote: »

Thanks for the responses. Unfortunately it's not as simple as cut them out and move on. He is one of my bfs best friends so I will have to be in his company.

Very few people have said to cut him out. What most people are telling you you can't do anything to change him, so accept it and move on. Just because he's you bf's friend, does not mean you have to have a deep and meaningful relationship with him

LegacyUser

28064212 wrote: »

Very few people have said to cut him out. What most people are telling you you can't do anything to change him, so accept it and move on. Just because he's you bf's friend, does not mean you have to have a deep and meaningful relationship with him

I shouldn't have to "accept" being treated like crap, and ignored every time we're out when i've done nothing wrong.

28064212

Fedupbeentreatedlikecrap wrote: »

I shouldn't have to "accept" being treated like crap, and ignored every time we're out when i've done nothing wrong.

What exactly are you hoping for? Do you think at some point, if you say exactly the right thing, he'll realise he's an ass, and suddenly start being nice to you? It's not going to happen, which is why you're being told to accept it and move on