Best Man Paying For His Own Suit????

jomc

wolfpawnat wrote: »

My partner is a grooms man at a wedding this year and he was told the same. At first we were thinking "Oh well, things must be tight"......... until they went and rented a gorgeous big car for the day and are after booking a beautiful expensive hotel for the wedding reception, now the OH is a bit annoyed, especially as this is his best friend and the friend knows that he is in college and that we are pretty broke.

You really should say the same thing, that he doesn't need a new suit, he already has a smart one that he can wear and can't afford the suit hire at the moment.

I think there should be a sticky on this because theres a lot of questions on what the bride and groom should and should not pay for lately!

EveT

tell him you'll wear a suit you already have! if he wants ye matching, his cost!

Chocoholic84

OP, definitely speak up for yourself and the groomsmen...this guy is completely taking the p!ss. If he has asked you to be best man, then he pays for the costs of the attire he wants you to wear - simple as that.
I will be paying for my BM's dresses, hair & make up, and have bought them the jewellery as gifts. H2B will be paying for the Best man/groomsmen attire and will also give them a gift.
Someone else posted here about paying for the bridal party's rooms, which I don't really get. I mean, if they weren't part of the bridal party, they would still be coming to the wedding anyway as normal guests?

Gatica

as someone already mentioned, maybe he doesn't get that it's not the done thing...
Either way, it's their wedding, their choice, their expense. If they're on a tight budget, then they should plan accordingly and let the party wear what they have rather than expecting them to foot the bill for the fancies that they desire themselves.

justsomebloke

If you do end up paying for your own suit make sure to mention it in the best man's speech.

seamus

Speak to his fiancé saying that you've chatted to the lads and with the cost of the stag and the wedding, none of you can afford to shell out €110 to rent a suit when you already have perfectly good suits that you can wear. So you're all just going to wear your own suits to the wedding.

She'll hit the roof and you'll get your suits paid for.

stargazer 68

Come on OP update us!

Ironman76

Is your mate a politician?

Seriously though do NOT pay for your suit. I have been to enough of weddings and have been best man before. What you should do if youre uncomfortable bringing it up just say "Somebody brought it to my attention that the groomsmen dont pay for their own suit hire". Then suggest it as a wedding gift and that "its all down to affordability at the end of the day".

Diddler1977

My first thought was that the groom must be American as it is the norm in the States for bridesmaids and bestmen to pay for their own clothes.

It is not the norm to do this in Ireland.

Tell him that you will wear your own suit or he can pay for suit hire.

Diddler1977

Possibly the first time I've seen a thread on this forum with practically all posters saying the same thing!

GastroBoy

Thanks for all your advice.
Well ive decided to let him know I'm not impressed
Im just going to tell him in more of a friendly advice way
rather than confrontational.
Hopefully he'll be mature enough to accept the advice,
otherwise he can stick his suit.

saa

I don't see the problem in saying wear a suit but not asking for money, he should pay if he wants matching but let you pay for your own, most guys already own a decent suit, I mean its not that strange to assume someone will take care of their own outfit for the day, I think its defiantly an Irish tradition, I'm sure there is a reason lets hope the talk goes okay and all the tension dissipates.

Bride2012

I worked for a suit hire company for a few years during college and through all of the weddings I dealt with only one wasn't paid for by the couple and that one was in the UK (used our branch for one groomsman). Not the norm!!! The general guideline is, if the couple impose it i.e. matching or specific, they pay for it.

stargazer 68

Come on Op - fill us in! What happened?

GastroBoy

Just FYI.

I ended up not paying for it!!
Figured i was out of pocket enough with stag etc..
I didnt bring it up with him as i thought its his choice at the end of the day.
But if he were to mention the fact now or in the future i most certainly will give him my views on the matter.

Gatica

you mean you just didn't give him the money or you decided not to hire it out?
If you just didn't hand over the money, then maybe he won't ask for it again himself, realising how stupid it was to ask for it in the first place. If he does ask for it, then, looks like you know how to handle it anyway.
Otherwise, I would just offer to wear own suit, assuming you have one.

GastroBoy

Gatica wrote: »

you mean you just didn't give him the money or you decided not to hire it out?

They hired the suits as normal, but I didnt give them the money they asked for a few months ago.
If they dont bring it up then i assume they feel embarassed by it so theyll leave it.

clint_silver

GastroBoy wrote: »

They hired the suits as normal, but I didnt give them the money they asked for a few months ago.
If they dont bring it up then i assume they feel embarassed by it so theyll leave it.

ooo I foresee trouble ahead. wait til something of yours come round. I dunno, a birthday, a christening, anything where they would be expected to give you a present of some sort. Youll know their thinking at that point.

listermint

you dropped your balls here, its quite simple to say 'look man thats not the done thing ask around' 'maybe you didnt know but you have to cover the groomsmen' 'just letting you know so you dont look like a tool'


conversation end.

GastroBoy

clint_silver wrote: »

ooo I foresee trouble ahead. wait til something of yours come round. I dunno, a birthday, a christening, anything where they would be expected to give you a present of some sort. Youll know their thinking at that point.

I was more then generous with a wedding gift of money to the couple, paid for a lot of the stag stuff for the stag himself also.
My paying for the suit was not meant as a gift in their eyes, but as if it was my duty to pay for the suit, full stop!
That is why i had/have a problem with it, because from the replies on this thread, and my own opinion, it clearly is not anyone else's duty to pay for the groomsmen suits other then the bride & groom themselves!

Gatica

fair enough. Hope it all works out...

GastroBoy

listermint wrote: »

you dropped your balls here, its quite simple to say 'look man thats not the done thing ask around' 'maybe you didnt know but you have to cover the groomsmen' 'just letting you know so you dont look like a tool'


conversation end.

Possibly.
Not easy to critique how someone plans their wedding.
For all I knew, at the time they may have been having money issues, which i now know not to be the case.

[Jackass]

My wife to be is American, and is flying back to New York from Dublin (obviously at her own expense) to be a bridesmade, but she had to get her mother to ship her bridesmade dress over from the states (for which she paid for her bridesmade dress herself, and for shipping) to have it fitted, all was good, then the bride told them to alter it so that it was one inch above the knee (are you fu*king serious) so she has to tailor it too.

On top of that, they have to pay for the hen night, which she organised a week before her wedding, people had to fly in from different areas, pay for a hen, fly back, go to work, and then fly back for the wedding....my fiancee didn't fly from Dublin to NY for the hen night, but actually got sh*t over it for not coming a week earlier and just "take the week off work"... (for which she wouldn't get paid).

Also, they all have to pay for expensive gifts from their wish list or whatever. They've also spent many weekends over a number of months helping organise the wedding and doing all the invitation, envelop, writing etc.

It's a nightmare!

I know it's bad here, but if you're asked to be in a wedding in the states, either have a pre-prepared excuse or else get out a fu*king bank loan. We're trying to save for our own wedding as it is....

Gatica

that's insane... I think this is the part where you cross them off your friends list.

RH149

I realised the tradition of American couples expecting their bridal parties to pay for their suits and dresses when my husband was a groomsman at a wedding last year. We flew in (at considerable expense) the day before the wedding and went straight from the airport to the suit hire place for him to be fitted and collect his suit as there was also a rehearsal dinner to fit in that evening - all fine until after they fitted his suit he was presented with the bill. We figured that maybe because he wasn't getting fitted with the rest of the bridal party they were billing him seperately but that he could sort it out with the groom later and handed over a credit card. It was only at the rehearsal dinner when one of the bridesmaids , (after a few drinks) was bitching about how she was broke from paying for so many bridesmaids dresses and that she wished her friends would stop bestowing such an expensive honour on her that we realised that we were indeed footing the bill for his suit. It reminded me of that film about the girl with the wardrobe full of bridesmaid dresses and also explains why there are often 5 or 6 bridesmaids and groomsmen at American weddings!

djchunk78

What a hungry **** never heard of it and hopefully never will

circleskane

curious to hear too!