Is being a stay at home parent worth it?

lazygal

Pregnant with my first child and I'm wavering between going back to work full-time or part-time and being a SAHM. We are in the very fortunate position of being able to have me stay home and living on one salary so its not a financial decision (I know how lucky we are that this is the case).
I am the first of my friends to have a child and I don't think any of them will be having children in the immediate future, so in that sense I will be on my own. There are toddler and mum groups very near my house (walking distance) and I'm looking into these. There's one mum near me I know slightly but since she has heard I'm pregnant has initiated a lot more contact and is delighted to have me call in for questions etc, which is great.

But I love working and wonder if I'll go mad staying at home all day. I am really torn being doing the best for the baby and my sanity. I've worked hard to get where I am in my career and am reluctant to give it up. It would be difficult for me to opt out for a few years on career break and then return as normal, so I know I'd be taking a step back to stay at home.

any advice always welcome!

Moonbeam

Wait and see how it goes,you may get cabin fever at home.
I found with 1 child working part time was perfect and with 2 being at home is the best option.
Everyone is different, what suits one person will not suit another.

Ickle Magoo

Like Moonbeam, I think it's a very personal choice - or even a matter of personal taste/expectation/personality/etc...I really don't think there is a black and white better/best to advise you of.

I started off at home and found it very restrictive, isolating and at times just down-right boring - I started a degree through the OU which helped and then when the kids started Montessori/school I also went back to work for those hours because for my own sanity I needed to be doing something other than the childcare, housework and coffee mornings/play groups which seemed to make up the majority of my days.

If you have the luxury to choose, I'd say wait and play it by ear.

All the very best. :cool:

chirogirl

I had my first child during the summer and I decided to return to work part-time (2-3 days) as I'm self employed I'm fortunate to be able to choose my days and hours of work.I went back to work after 3 moths and took her to work with me in the beginning. For me I seem to have struck a happy balance between work and the baby. As one of the previous posters said, cabin fever can set in especially during the winter months.
Good Luck with the pregnancy!

up for anything

My advice would be to keep working.

I know too many people of my age, including me, who gave up working to stay at home with their children and regretted it when they reached their 40s and their relationships broke up leaving them ill-equipped to provide for their children. You may feel that it will never happen to you and that your partner would never let his children down financially but hell, it happens all the time both to men and women.

Morag

If you can do part time then I think that would be the best idea.
I know me being at home full time has been the best for my kids but honestly I don't think it's been the best for me. It's hard to look at starting back to work when you've been out of it over a decade.

Mr.Wemmick

I am also in favour of working part-time especially if you can get good child-care and/or have extended family back-up.

I have been a SAHM for a few years now and, like the previous poster, it has been great for the kids but not always great for me. I do not have much of a choice as OH travels a lot and I really need to wait for my kids to be in school full-time before I can think about going back.

It is true when they say that a job allows you a rest from home as the 24 hours, 7 days a week, job of a parent can be exhausting especially if you have a child that doesn't sleep well, or is sick a lot.

Keeping one foot in the door of your career is worth doing too to ensure future employment; keeping your knowledge up-to-date of key changes and developments within your area of work.

Having written all that, mind, it really is down to you as I am sure there must be many happy Mums who have opted to stay-at-home and love it 100%.
I just don't know of any

liliq

It's definitely a personal thing!
I'm going back to "work" (I'm a research student) part time- so I'll be in work 2 days a week, and writing my thesis from home the rest of the week.
I'm glad that I'll be at home most of the time until my little man is at least one.
After that there will be some big decisions to be made- in this environment, it's hard to keep the edge when appling for jobs etc, so I'm not sure whether I'll be able to find something part time in my field. If I can, that's what I think would be ideal, at least for a few years... it would be the best of both worlds!

sillysocks

Id also say wait and see, I was sure I'd love being at home, and for the first few months I did but after the full 11 months off I was glad to go back to work to be honest. I'm back a few months now and don't regret it at all. I'd say a shorter working week might be ideal if it was an option, but again mayb just wait and see.

cch

You don't have to commit to anything regarding your job until 4 weeks before the statutory 26 weeks maternity leave is up. So assuming you work until two weeks before your due date and baby is born close to their due date then baby will be approx 5 months old and you'll be in a much better position to decide whether you want to go back to work straight away, take some or all of the 16 weeks unpaid maternity leave or hand in your notice (assuming 4 week notice period required).

I have a 14 month old and went back full time when she was 7 months old (similar situation to you - could have been SAHM, first of friends to have baby, like my job). Yes it's tough time wise but hubby is very hands on which is a big help, but for my own sanity going back was definitely the right decision! Though as someone else mentioned, if/when number 2 arrives then it's a totally different question...

Tombo2000

Couple of things.
Firstly, you say you are the first of your friends to have a child and you dont think the rest of your friends will have children for some time.
I'd say there is a good chance you will build up a new social network around parents with kids the same age is you. For example if you were breastfeeding you might attend breast feeding groups; you can bring the baby to toddler groups from about 9 months onwards. You;ll probably get to meet neighbours you have never spoken to before and some of them will have youngs kids the same age.
Second, a lot depends on how important your career is. I'd really not say there is a general rule here. Some people go mad being at home all day. Some people are perfectly content with it.
Third, bear in mind the cost of childcare, especially after a second child, is just unreal.
If you are earning anything up to €60k/€65k a year, if you have two kids with a childminder, then your childminder will be taking home more of your pay than you will (assuming you pay minimum wage). (I dont mean of the two incomes combined, I mean of the second income earned when the SAHM goes back to work).
So at that point the relevant question is not
Is it worth staying at home....
rather, it is Is there any point in working?
plus if you are staying at home, the tax situation for a married couple is much more advantageous than if both partners work.....

How Strange

I'd definitely agree with the wait and see approach. I know I couldn't be a sahm because I'd go insane from loneliness. I love the bones of my son but I'm a much better mother because I go to work.

During first five months of maternity leave I couldn't imagine being away from him everyday. I took all my annual leave and two weeks unpaid so he was 7 months when I was due back at work and by then I was ready. Of course I cried a lot for the first few days but only a parent can appreciate what's its like to make a cup of tea and drink it while it's still hot, to talk to adults, to have lunch and even better when you want to. My ideal scenario would be a 4 day week but my employer doesn't consider part time so it's full time or nothing.

So don't go making decisions yet. Wait and see how you feel when you have a 6 month old baby.

hoodwinked

My own experience of this was, when i was pregnant i decided i was 100% going back to work, i was the only one of my group with a baby.


by the time my maternity leave was up i wasn't ready but went back on a three day week, when i was made redundant 3 months later i was luckily in the position to choose a job offer or be a stay at home mum.

i chose to stay at home, at first it was great, i had all the time i wanted with my daughter and i loved it.

eventually though i could barely remember what day it was nevermind the date and i was missing adult conversations, i decided to go back to college to do something for myself that i wanted and liked rather then because i had to so i went back when she had just turned 2.

i would now wholly recommend to try being a stay at home mum if you can and see then if its for you, i know now i am a better mum because i spend more quality time with her and i am happier because i get a break, and i know she loves her creche!

Crea

I'd certainly wait and see. You'll have 7+ months at home on maternity to see what it's like to be a sahm. If I were you i'd go back to work full time for a while to see how it suits you and your family. If you have the option then you can see if full time or part-time suits you. I gave up work after baby 2 because a full time job with 2 was difficult. I'm sorry that I didn't have the option of part-time because now that all my kids are in school I find myself wanting to get back to work. Mind you it would have to be part time for school term time only so I won't be holding my breath.
It is very hard to get back into the work force once you leave.

Sleepy

Sharrow wrote: »

It's hard to look at starting back to work when you've been out of it over a decade.

Don't lose heart, my mother went back after nearly 15 years and it kicked off a whole new lease of life for her!

Das Kitty

Maternity leave will tell you.

I know I personally was cracking up at home by the end. I really felt lost and missing something. Getting back to work has been a godsend for my mental health. And I don't think my child would be better off if I were home with him because I don't think I would be the best mother he could have in the state I was in.

Then my best friend who could barely financially afford to be off for her maternity leave and loved work couldn't go back when the time came. So she stays at home with her now two children.

You don't know til you've tried it and luckily in this country we get to try it first!

Good luck OP.

Rosy Posy

I have to say that I love being a SAHM and wouldn't have it any other way. My social group has changed a lot and, since we have no extended family around, and I find it pretty hard to get out in the evenings, I love that I am free to socialise with other mothers during the day while the kids play.

One thing I will say is that I was never particularly career minded and got pregnant when I was in my final year of college so never really got started on a career path. I did a postgrad (extra murally) in my first child's first year and found it really hard to get the space to study while looking after my baby and to get the head space when I wasn't getting good sleep.

The other outlet that I have is that I have lots of interests that I can pursue within the home- I love baking and cooking and do a lot of handcrafts, and these are really compatible with being at home. If my main interests were outside the home/not compatible with childcare I probably would find it harder.

Something that I've noticed in Ireland though is that there is not a lot of respect for SAHM's and I think that if I still lived there this would get to me.

All the best with the baby and everything OP

Tombo2000

Rosy Posy wrote: »

I have to say that I love being a SAHM and wouldn't have it any other way. My social group has changed a lot and, since we have no extended family around, and I find it pretty hard to get out in the evenings, I love that I am free to socialise with other mothers during the day while the kids play.

One thing I will say is that I was never particularly career minded and got pregnant when I was in my final year of college so never really got started on a career path. I did a postgrad (extra murally) in my first child's first year and found it really hard to get the space to study while looking after my baby and to get the head space when I wasn't getting good sleep.

The other outlet that I have is that I have lots of interests that I can pursue within the home- I love baking and cooking and do a lot of handcrafts, and these are really compatible with being at home. If my main interests were outside the home/not compatible with childcare I probably would find it harder.

Something that I've noticed in Ireland though is that there is not a lot of respect for SAHM's and I think that if I still lived there this would get to me.

All the best with the baby and everything OP

You think there isnt much respect for SAHM's then try being a SAHD........

nesf

Part time work from home works well for me. Part time stay-at-home-dad, part time self-employed. Best of both worlds.

Mr.Wemmick

Tombo2000 wrote: »

You think there isnt much respect for SAHM's then try being a SAHD........

Think it is the same everywhere. Being a "non-working parent" as we are seen by most of society: lazy, drinking endless cups of coffee and doing very little.. and don't forget being brain dead - not capable of thinking about anything beyond housework and baby talk.

It's the glazed over expression you receive when you tell someone "who works" what you do.. nevermind, that with a bit of training, you probably could do their job standing on your head while writing a novel and reading an instruction manual on how to refit an exhaust system on a car.

I think the lack of respect stay-at-home parents receive doesn't help those of us who have given up work to raise our kids, and, if anything, strengthens our desire/eagerness to get back to work.

Whatever you decide OP, being a SAHM/D is your choice and if you are happy, go for it .. and as for the ignorant masses, you do what I do and beat them off with a big stick

Owl Tickler

lazygal wrote: »

Pregnant with my first child and I'm wavering between going back to work full-time or part-time and being a SAHM. We are in the very fortunate position of being able to have me stay home and living on one salary so its not a financial decision (I know how lucky we are that this is the case).
I am the first of my friends to have a child and I don't think any of them will be having children in the immediate future, so in that sense I will be on my own. There are toddler and mum groups very near my house (walking distance) and I'm looking into these. There's one mum near me I know slightly but since she has heard I'm pregnant has initiated a lot more contact and is delighted to have me call in for questions etc, which is great.

But I love working and wonder if I'll go mad staying at home all day. I am really torn being doing the best for the baby and my sanity. I've worked hard to get where I am in my career and am reluctant to give it up. It would be difficult for me to opt out for a few years on career break and then return as normal, so I know I'd be taking a step back to stay at home.

any advice always welcome!

Why not take all of your maternity leave, and then all of your unpaid leave too, and see how you like it?
My wife works in a school, and she managed over 15 months off due to all the holidays she would have gotten as well - the summer holidays also fell nicely in place and buffered the leave on both sides (i.e. off from July 2010 until late-Sep 2011).

Obviously you won't have as much holidays as that, but why not take the max you can & see how you like it, and decide a few months out?

BostonB

I'd say try it and see. You could always go part-time using parental leave if your work agrees.

nesf

Mr.Wemmick wrote: »

Think it is the same everywhere. Being a "non-working parent" as we are seen by most of society: lazy, drinking endless cups of coffee and doing very little.. and don't forget being brain dead - not capable of thinking about anything beyond housework and baby talk.

It's the glazed over expression you receive when you tell someone "who works" what you do.. nevermind, that with a bit of training, you probably could do their job standing on your head while writing a novel and reading an instruction manual on how to refit an exhaust system on a car.

I think the lack of respect stay-at-home parents receive doesn't help those of us who have given up work to raise our kids, and, if anything, strengthens our desire/eagerness to get back to work.

Whatever you decide OP, being a SAHM/D is your choice and if you are happy, go for it .. and as for the ignorant masses, you do what I do and beat them off with a big stick

Nah, I get loads of "so you're unemployed" looks/comments from people when I answer the door during the day (doesn't bother me), my wife just gets friendly chat about the kids. Definitely it's more socially acceptable to be a SAHM these days though that's slowly changing.

lazygal

Thanks all. I know I won't be able to make the decision until baby arrives. I do plan on taking all the maternity leave (including unpaid) plus annual leave at the end so I'll have the guts of ten months off before having to decide. We'd also like to have children close in age (again might change after baby!!) so we'll see how that pans out.

daymobrew

Tombo2000 wrote: »

You think there isnt much respect for SAHM's then try being a SAHD........

As a SAHD I have not noticed any of this buy then I'm quite blind for such stuff and I don't mix with other parents.

I do web site development while my son naps. This was relatively easy when there was only one, but time is more scarce with two - I really only get about 90mins in the morning.

Having said that I really enjoy staying at home. It works for me. It helped that I didn't enjoy my job.
In the afternoons I can put them both on my bike and we can go anywhere - shops, zoo, city centre.

nesf

keithob wrote: »

id love to try the stay at home parent things for a few months see how it goes...

im off the opnion that its a handy number while i go to work each day to slog it out...!

its a constant topic for banter in our home...

serious though id love get up feed the kids do the school run... head for a coffee then the park make the dinners cleaning etc... sure its the life! :P

You forgot to append "/troll" to the end of your post.

Graciemight

lazygal wrote: »

Thanks all. I know I won't be able to make the decision until baby arrives. I do plan on taking all the maternity leave (including unpaid) plus annual leave at the end so I'll have the guts of ten months off before having to decide. We'd also like to have children close in age (again might change after baby!!) so we'll see how that pans out.

Ah the luxury of having time and flexibility! Congratulations I hope you enjoy motherhood as much as I am.

Just my own experience - My little boy will be two in march. I was so glad I was not on a clock to get him into a routine when I had him. I had no job at the time and I honestly cannot account for the first 6 months - the foggy bliss of mamnesia!

But by the time he was ten months old, I was starting to feel the pull towards working and goals and measurable achievements. Lucky, lucky me because I got a job in an office, job sharing with another lady. I couldn't afford to work full time - the childminding expense would negate the extra income and I would miss the baby too much. This is just right for me and I found my little niche because of the lack of pressure, I think, and a bit of luck too.

You will know what is best when the time comes - listen to your gut. And again, congratulations this is such a happy time

bubbaloo

I would definitely advise you to forget about this until you are in the reality of motherhood. We tried 7 years for our baby and when I finally got pregnant I was full of ideas about staying at home. In the end, when he arrived, I couldn't wait to get back to work. I personally feel it's a "thankless unpaid job" most of the time but some people enjoy it - so my advice would be to put it to the back of your mind, concentrate on a healthy pregnancy and see how you feel 6 months into motherhood.
Good luck.

mozattack

its well for some :mad:

Morag

Saying try it out over maternity leave is one thing, as you still have your own wages/benefit, it's different when the house hold income is less and you have a lot less independence fianically. It's one thing to talk about spending the time going for coffee or shopping or lunches or to the gym but not everyone has the where withall to be a lady who lunches.

Moonbeam

mozattack wrote: »

its well for some :mad:

*mod warning*

Please do not make such unhelpful comments here again.

4ndroid

How Strange wrote: »

I'd definitely agree with the wait and see approach. I know I couldn't be a sahm because I'd go insane from loneliness. I love the bones of my son but I'm a much better mother because I go to work.

During first five months of maternity leave I couldn't imagine being away from him everyday. I took all my annual leave and two weeks unpaid so he was 7 months when I was due back at work and by then I was ready. Of course I cried a lot for the first few days but only a parent can appreciate what's its like to make a cup of tea and drink it while it's still hot, to talk to adults, to have lunch and even better when you want to. My ideal scenario would be a 4 day week but my employer doesn't consider part time so it's full time or nothing.

So don't go making decisions yet. Wait and see how you feel when you have a 6 month old baby.

By law you are entitled to 14 weeks parental leave. Nothing your boss can stop. He could only postpone for 6 months

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/employment/employment_rights_and_conditions/leave_and_holidays/parental_leave.html

How Strange

Yes 4ndroid that's right but they don't have to let the parent take it in a way that suits them ie a 4 day week. You can ask for a certain amount of time off ie a block of 4 weeks and after refusing twice they have to come to some compromise but if taking 1 day week isn't possible for business reasons they can refuse without any obligation to compromise. There are a few mums in our workplace going through this at the moment and our employer is sticking to the letter of the law.

BostonB

Quoted from the above link.

The 14 weeks per child may be taken in one continuous period or in 2 separate blocks of a minimum of 6 weeks. There must be a gap of at least 10 weeks between the 2 periods of parental leave per child. However, if your employer agrees you can separate your leave into periods of days or even hours.

Basically they can force you to take it in one or two lumps rather than a few days a week. The latter might be the only way to afford it though, if someone needs a salary coming in.

bouncyball

As the others said, wait and see is definitely the way to go

The advice I was given was to go back for 6 months and see. I didn't want to go back to work and leave my then 9.5 month old as loved being home with her. Then again I didn't like my job either. However I did get my days of wishing I could use my brain in other ways other than nappy changing and deciding on dinner.
So I went back 3 days a week and found the first 6 weeks terrible but soon got used to it. I'm now back almost a year and job sharing which is even better.

It's a very personal choice but definitely make sure to get out to groups and meet people as if you're a SAHM and don't know anyone else who's around during the day you'll slowly go mad and the baby also likes to get out and about too.

Daffodil.d

I am a sahm. I think you should wait and see but in the mean time take all the time off that you are entitled to. Here's the thing, you have to make contact with other adults, join a club maybe in the eve for you time, Make a routine around gettin out. Its easy to fall into the trap of it being just you and the kids all the time. That's tough going for all parties. Being a sahm is what you make it. My own personal choice would be to job share, which I did before my 2nd was born. I have been at home 3 years now and yes, as other posters have said you do get a look off people when you tell them you don't work. I think its funny. I used to work full time too and its hard being away from your baby. I used to pine to be at home, now I want to go back to work part time. Part time is the answer. you get the best of both worlds. Best of luck with what ever you decide.

Sesame

I knew I'd always go back to work, but we were in a different situation whereby if I didn't we'd be managing on a lot less money.
I planned to take 6 months Mat Leave, then at about 5 months in, I started to get very apprehensive about leaving my little baby into a creche. So I decided to extend it to 9 months. By the 8 months stage, I was itching to go back.
I went back full time which was a big change and shock to the system.
I relished the leave and knew every coffee shop far too well! I really enjoyed the housewife thing and spent a lot of my day planning dinners, going to butchers etc, that was all a novelty for me as I'm usually an after work, quick dinner from Centra cook!
Anyway its a few months into work and I found it quite sad to be apart from my baby for so much of the week.
I'm now doing a 4 day week and much happier. Its a better balance.
I couldn't not work. I relish my own income and independance and talking with colleagues about work things. Chatting with other mothers about babies can get tiresome.
One point to think about is long term. If you plan on working in something when your children are at school age, can you pick up your career where you left off?

Sleepy

Sesame wrote: »

If you plan on working in something when your children are at school age, can you pick up your career where you left off?

Realistically, there's no career you can just jump straight back into after 5 years off. You're always going to be going back a level.

I'm amazed at the number of job-sharers on here. With no disrespect to anyone doing it, it's an incredibly expensive way to employ staff and I'm surprised employers are still catering for it in this climate.

We're hoping that as the youngest starts school my other half can get back to the workplace at least part-time but honestly, I'm not that hopeful there'll be much family-friendly work available by then unless the economy takes a magical turnaround...

edellc

I am a stay at home mam, at first it wasnt through choice but it is what it is and I love it. I love waking up to my little mam every day and we have our morning routine with lots of fun and laughter, I love going for naps with him in the late morning, I love waking him up and seeing his smile and having games and fun in the after noon, I love how he loves his baths and I love smuggling down with him when he is going to bed.

I am qualified in accounts and will go back to some form or work, even if it is just part time or even in a different field but only when my little one can talk to me and tell me how his day went, maybe its me being paranoid but I have no intention of leaving him in a creche until he can tell me what has happened there that day, I have read too many horror stories, yes there are plenty of good ones but I would just die if anything bad happened to him when it doesnt need to

I also feel that you can never get this time back and it is so magical to watch you baby develop into their own self and see life through their eyes, there is plenty of time for work in the future but only once will your baby go though this stage

okiss

I have a number of friends who are mothers.
One of them is happier when she is working rather than spending all day every day with her children. Because of her income her children can do extra circular interests and they have traveled a lot.
I know a woman in her 30's with 2 small children who stays at home.
Due to money reasons she has nothing outside the home to go to or be involved in. All she does is talk about the children. Her oh is working but his work is not that secure and things are tight for them.
I would stay working after having a child as you will have an income and you have adults to chat to. You can also put money into a pension or save money.
Also with the way things are at the moment if your oh hours are cut or they lose there job you can still have an income coming each week or month.

Moonbeam

okiss wrote: »

I have a number of friends who are mothers.
One of them is happier when she is working rather than spending all day every day with her children. Because of her income her children can do extra circular interests and they have traveled a lot.
I know a woman in her 30's with 2 small children who stays at home.
Due to money reasons she has nothing outside the home to go to or be involved in. All she does is talk about the children. Her oh is working but his work is not that secure and things are tight for them.
I would stay working after having a child as you will have an income and you have adults to chat to. You can also put money into a pension or save money.
Also with the way things are at the moment if your oh hours are cut or they lose there job you can still have an income coming each week or month.

That can only work if your not in a city where childcare is often > wages.

Sleepy

It's also heavily dependent on the parent who would otherwise be staying at home having skills/qualifications/earning potential to cover the costs of childcare, keeping a second car on the road / commuting to work, maintaining a "work" wardrobe, office collections etc.

When there's just the one child, a second salary of any kind should cover these costs but once there's two or more I'd say there's far more couples that would actually be financially better off with one of them being a stay-at-home parent than would like to admit it tbh.

When my oldest child was small I only worked intermittently, but with my second child I started off working part time and was working full time by the time she was 6. Money aside the biggest different in having a child and not working outside the home and having a child and working full time outside the home were for me all to do with time....haveing time to potter around the house and show my daughter how to cook and do house work, the time to take her to dancing and music lessons in a relaxed manner time to supervise homework properly and so on.
When I worked full time and my second was small life was a stressful rush to get everything done I never had time to relax, for the first time in my life I began to buy convince foods and I stooped baking.

doubletrouble?

Sleepy wrote: »

When there's just the one child, a second salary of any kind should cover these costs but once there's two or more I'd say there's far more couples that would actually be financially better off with one of them being a stay-at-home parent than would like to admit it tbh.

i'll/ we'd admit to it. myself and purple have long discussed this. shes in a better paid job and more secure than mine. we've had a look at child care and our outgoings and have weighed up the options. and in reality if my employer offers early redundancy i'll have to take it and be a s.a.h.d. we had a quick look at childcare for the twins and for a creche we're looking close to the guts of nearly €2000 p/m. really says it all for childcare costs in this country

Moonbeam

It was 2100 full time or 1500 for a 3 day week for my 2 a month in crèche . I could not have done it happily long term.

Hannibal Smith

Wait and see how your maternity leave goes. I remember my maternity leave with my first, I took the full 10 months and really looked forward to going back. I was going mad at home.

Being away from work was like a culture shock, you spend your time running around trying to do ten things at once and all of a sudden the pace (though not the work load ) changes. It's like that episode of Friends where Ross is on sabatical and Joey tells him he's just done a week's worth of things in one morning, you got to spread it out

The thing about returning to work is, that it's like riding a bike. You've spent 6-10 months fumbling your way through parenthood, not having a clue what you're doing and then you can just fall back into work like you never left

Though I have to tell you, I'm on my second maternity leave now, and I'm loving it. I can't go back because we can't afford it, and now the creche is full so everything has kind of gone against me. I'm not a bit sorry about it though, not in this weather

Shelli2

I have one son, he's in junior infants and turns 5 in August. I work a four day week, at the moment it's perfect for me and I still get lots of time with my little man. We're hoping to start trying for number 2 towards the end of this year (waiting due to medical reasons), but if we have another I wouldn't go back to work. There are two main reasons, first being that I personally wouldn't feel like I had enough free time with each child individually. The second being that financially it would make no sense as the creche fees would be so high.

Mink

Sleepy wrote: »

I'm amazed at the number of job-sharers on here. With no disrespect to anyone doing it, it's an incredibly expensive way to employ staff and I'm surprised employers are still catering for it in this climate.

We found job sharing worked great for certain positions in our company, there was no extra spent in wages as they were paid the same per hour as someone who was full time. They covered for each other when the other was sick or on hols (pre-agreed that they would do this) so we very very rarely need a temp (which costs a huge amount & can be very poor quality) and we wouldn't get pulled off our own work to cover.

I think maybe a 3 or 4 day week might work for me when my maternity leave ends as I'll cut down on travel costs/time for the other 1 or 2 days. I'm just hoping that my employer will agree to it. He might though as there've been lots of cuts and it's not as busy.

I would use a child minder who has maybe their own kids or one or two other kids. I think I'd prefer this to a creche setting, I don't know why, presumably it would be cheaper.

Sleepy

Mink wrote: »

We found job sharing worked great for certain positions in our company, there was no extra spent in wages as they were paid the same per hour as someone who was full time. They covered for each other when the other was sick or on hols (pre-agreed that they would do this) so we very very rarely need a temp (which costs a huge amount & can be very poor quality) and we wouldn't get pulled off our own work to cover..

Even when salaries are the same, it still costs more to make a FTE out of two people than to simply hire one.:

More overhead for HR/Payroll.
More work to manage two employees than one.
Pretty certain the Employers PRSI is higher for two part-timers than one full-timers.
Two sets of statutory holiday entitlements to cover.

It can also dramatically reduce customer service, continuity in projects etc.

Then you have the fact that job-sharers are nearly always primary care-givers which increases the likelihood of sick leave or maternity leave if the employee is a woman of child-bearing age etc. (while this might be seen as sexist, it's not the fact the job-sharer is a woman that causes this issue, it's her role as the primary care giver which does)

It all leads to the situation where, tbh, the only argument for an employer to do it is if they can pay the two job-sharers significantly less than half the salary of a full time equivalent or can obtain the services of two highly capable / experienced workers for the same outlay as someone much less capable. This tends to go out the window in many of the public sector organisations where job-sharing is widespread and causes chaos as many of the people in the positions are, if anything, less capable than their more junior colleagues, they just happened to join the organisation long enough ago...

Obviously, many people may be happy to work for a lower wage than they're worth for the benefits that go with job-sharing though. Such family friendly working hours are often seen as part of the remuneration package.

Mr.Wemmick

Mink wrote: »

We found job sharing worked great for certain positions in our company, there was no extra spent in wages as they were paid the same per hour as someone who was full time. They covered for each other when the other was sick or on hols (pre-agreed that they would do this) so we very very rarely need a temp (which costs a huge amount & can be very poor quality) and we wouldn't get pulled off our own work to cover.

I think maybe a 3 or 4 day week might work for me when my maternity leave ends as I'll cut down on travel costs/time for the other 1 or 2 days. I'm just hoping that my employer will agree to it. He might though as there've been lots of cuts and it's not as busy.

I would use a child minder who has maybe their own kids or one or two other kids. I think I'd prefer this to a creche setting, I don't know why, presumably it would be cheaper.

I am sure in some workplaces job sharing is fine but within teaching it is a disaster. Having experienced it from a parent's perspective, it doesn't work at all especially in early years & primary where consistency is essential.

I am a SAHM and one of my main reasons for staying at home was poor child minders. I am sure there are brilliant child minders out there but I have had poor experiences twice now which made up my mind to stay at home and do it myself. I would go to a creche if I was trying it again: more staff and more accountability; not to mention social interaction and more activities. I found out that with a child minder you do not know how it will go until you are in the middle of it and you have no proof as to what they say they are doing to what they actually do in the day -- what your child eats, activities, stimulation etc.. I had two child minders who lied to me and when I realised that was happening, I put a stop to it. Funnily enough, my kids didn't miss them.

I would love to go back to work (for a rest ) but the expense for more than one child (like many of you have written here) no family close by for support and not great child care options have left us, as a family, little choice.

One thing for sure, my kids are happier.

Sleepy

Teaching?! :eek:

Please don't tell me job-sharing is common in teaching positions?!