What do you wish you'd learned when you were young?

theg81der

I`m going to become a parent in 6 months and its something I`m going to take very seriously. Started reading books and trying to educate myself now. I know I want to teach my child alot before they go to school - reading, maths, language, musical instrument.....


What else do you consider valuable to learn young, what do you wish you were taught?

Quazzie

To stay away from Religion

mikemac1

theg81der wrote: »

I`m going to become a parent in 6 months

Congrats
Start a poll and we'll choose the name for you

MagicSean

Chinese or Russian instead of stupid French and Irish. Martial arts.

BBDBB

to f*ck the begrudgers and not to listen to the negative people who seem to delight in knocking your confidence

More power to yer arm OP. Go for it and good luck

mikemac1

There are bullies in life, from the playground to the office and boardroom

Teach your child to stand up for themself
Or they'll be a victim their entire life

A useful second language. Programming. Motorbike. A martial art. What the friendzone is and how to avoid it.

Oranage2

Wish I learned an instrument and ping pong.

LETHAL LADY

The real dangers of smoking and proper financial planning. That s**t should be taught in primary school.

mikemac1

Louth aren't the best in GAA and need some help

Get your child a hurl and tennis ball and have them knocking around before they start school

Could be a future All Star

volvoman480

I'm a father of two girls, 4 and 2, they've been up since very early this morning. They won't eat their breakfast, they won't stop fighting..

What I wished I had learned when I was younger is to only consent to nookie with the mrs when she's well on the rag..........











By the way, good luck OP. Fatherhood is a wonderful experience, full of doing wonderful things with your children, teaching them new skills, encouraging them to explore new things and most importantly of all, how to turn on the tv and change the channel to cbeebies/nick jr/disney jr so they get the hell out of your hair for five minutes and let you finish that cup of tea that's gone cold because you were trying to break up a fight over a charlie and lola hairband.


PS. Hope ye have a boy, I hear it's a lot easier.....

theg81der

Quazzie wrote: »

To stay away from Religion

Yea been talking about this. I am religious to an extent but wouldn`t say I`m catholic and would like to raise my child non denomonational (sp?) but my husband wants to raise the "normal" which I think is hypocritical and frankly a waste of their time. I know if my child is in a normal school I couldn`t really not let them wear a communion dress etc they would hate me??

Mint Sauce

What a tracker mortgage was.

Napper Hawkins

How to be an adult. A second language from day one that would be of actual use to me when going to a non-English speaking country. (I'm looking at you, Irish.)

theg81der

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

How to be an adult. A second language from day one that would be of actual use to me when going to a non-English speaking country. (I'm looking at you, Irish.)

What language thou cause I don`t speak a 2nd language so will have to decide so I can learn?

Richard Hillman

Wish I had played other sports rather than wasting my time playing football.

Napper Hawkins

theg81der wrote: »

What language thou cause I don`t speak a 2nd language so will have to decide so I can learn?

Where do you want to go?

I would say Spanish, French, German, Chinese, Japanese and Russian for starters.

All infinitely more useful than Irish, which by the way before the usual knobs start having a go, I've nothing against Irish.

Abi

volvoman480 wrote: »

I'm a father of two girls, 4 and 2, they've been up since very early this morning. They won't eat their breakfast, they won't stop fighting..

What I wished I had learned when I was younger is to only consent to nookie with the mrs when she's well on the rag..........

She can still get pregnant 'on the rag'.



Congrats OP. I can't think of anything I wish I'd learned, but I do wish that my parents had put me into play school so I could be around other children. Where I lived I was quite isolated from other children, so when it came around to going to primary school I wasn't sure how to interact with other children, and was quite shy. So from a social aspect, do try get your child around other children as young as possible.

Anyone

Irish.

Robdude

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

Where do you want to go?

I would say Spanish, French, German, Chinese, Japanese and Russian for starters.

All infinitely more useful than Irish, which by the way before the usual knobs start having a go, I've nothing against Irish.

Agreed; I'd love to learn a second language.

volvoman480

Abi wrote: »

She can still get pregnant 'on the rag'.

A heck of a lot less likely than the week or two after that though.....:D

Gonzor

Congrats on the good news Some of the things I wish my parents did a wee bit different.

To see life as a half full glass, not half empty

To be brought up with a good diet. I know its hard to know whos right- is it the vegetarians or the carbs only believers or the atkins crowd etc... I just really wish my parents didnt raise us on junk food and when I think back on the bottles of coca cola I drank over the years :eek:

bobbytables

As a fella, something that I absolutely do not regret growing up was not getting in to football/gaa/etc. I have many interests but sport is not one of them. My parents nurtured more progressive interests such as technology from a young age & didn't push me to conform to the more stereotypical stuff like playing football when I was a child in the 80s. To that end I am proud of the fact that I don't feel like I need to care about who is going to win the premier league in order to be a man. Thankfully my closest friends were the same. When I think back to how narrow minded some people were about this sort of thing, it's a real shame. Going to the pub on a Saturday to watch teams of men kick a bag of wind around a field & hug eachother helps no one, except perhaps the pub.

However somebody else mentioned martial arts & I definitely agree. A lot to be gained incl. discipline & self confidence. Self defence is secondary.

I think teaching your child to have an open mind & appreciate diversity goes a long way to helping them feel comfortable being themselves when they're older. They should have interests but not be forced to do anything in particular just because it appears to be a popular convention.

mikemac1

Football teaches confidence and discipline too you know

carfiosaoorl

I would love to have learned to swim at a young age. I can swim a little bit but not enough to save my life and I would feel like a bit of an eejit going for lessons now.
I would also love to have learned to drive when I was a fearless teen. I dont think I will ever learn now, Im scared ****less of it.

bobbytables

mikemac1 wrote: »

Football teaches confidence and discipline too you know

I'm sure it does while you're actually playing it. But watching it on telly like it's the only means to validate & man's masculinity is more the issue I was referring to. In all fairness watching a game of soccer in the pub isn't exactly physically or mentally taxing, yet it still gets a lot of attention.

Napper Hawkins

carfiosaoorl wrote: »

I would love to have learned to swim at a young age. I can swim a little bit but not enough to save my life and I would feel like a bit of an eejit going for lessons now.
I would also love to have learned to drive when I was a fearless teen. I dont think I will ever learn now, Im scared ****less of it.

Both are easy, just go for it. I agree driving can be incredibly daunting at first but in fairness you've nothing to lose and so much to gain by having these skills.

Red21

theg81der wrote: »

I`m going to become a parent in 6 months and its something I`m going to take very seriously. Started reading books and trying to educate myself now. I know I want to teach my child alot before they go to school - reading, maths, language, musical instrument.....


What else do you consider valuable to learn young, what do you wish you were taught?

Reading and maths it depends, you may end up teaching your child to tune out when school starts. But teaching something like a musical instrument, this all depends on the kid and if they've an interest in it. If someone isin't getting any enjoyment from it I don't see the point.
Not saying this is you op, but I think many parents suffer from the "I coulda been someone" mentality and believe if their own percieved talents had been nurtured life would be so differant for them. They now try and live out their own fairytale through their kids, all they achieve is to put their children under undue stress.

I really wish i had learned to listen to my Mam more.

Turns out, she WAS always right.

Irish Guitarist

The importance of brushing my teeth.
To be myself rather than trying to impress moronic children just to have someone to be friends with.
I wish I'd started playing guitar about ten years earlier.

Nolanger

Should have recorded all the old movies I watched on TV because will probably never see these again.

Pissmire

Oranage2 wrote: »

Wish I learned an instrument and ping pong.

Plenty of openings in Thai bars for that set of skills.

gugleguy

I was in my teens when the 8 - bit era was at it's height. Pity I did'nt immerse myself in BASIC all the more - I had a ZX Spectrum

MagicSean

Swimming is a good one actually. Forgot about that.

bigneacy

theg81der wrote: »

I`m going to become a parent in 6 months and its something I`m going to take very seriously. Started reading books and trying to educate myself now. I know I want to teach my child alot before they go to school - reading, maths, language, musical instrument.....


What else do you consider valuable to learn young, what do you wish you were taught?

We all start out like you OP - give it 3 or 4 days and you'll delight in an hour of quiet. After a fortnight all your hopes and dreams are dashed. Children can be cruel.

Seriously tho - Congrats on your news. Start learning languages now, yourself - the three most valuable languages in the world are English, Russian and Chinese. These are also two foreign languages that the ever so useful Irish school system doesn't teach.

If your child has English, plus German (get them interested from about 8 or 9, teaching them as much as possible so they will choose it over the declining french language), Russian and Chinese they will go far. Maybe even some kind of secret agent. That'd be nice.

Also musical instruments are good. My eldest is 6 and he's nearly intermediate on drums - loves them! No matter what he chooses in life, he will always have his drumming to fall back on.

Irish Steve

2 children, 5 grandchildren at this stage.

Don't worry about specifics when they are young, just concentrate on spending the time with the child, and making that time have content. Reading isn't going to happen for several years, but reading books, talking, explaining, provoking interest, talking, and taking the time to expand things, stimulating curiosity, making sure that the child has to use it's own skills to work things out, and not being constantly "spoonfed" by TV. Things like computer games and TV don't encourage the child to DO, they are non participatory, Computer games seem good, but they don't expand thinking outside of the envelope, and are too structured, which is not good for young minds. Conversation, even if the child is not directly responding, acts as a stimulus. I've seen our 4 year old grand daughter make some very complex associations, and then verbalise them, and that's down to the input that she's had from family members, involving her, talking with and to her, making sure that she was made to think for herself, and work things out, with help if needed.

It's life changing, and will upset the routine you have in place now, and it's a commitment that has to be worked at for long periods of time, and there will be moments when you will wonder why you did it, and if it's all worth it, and the answer to both of those is that if you put the time and effort in, it will be worth it, we've seen that with our 2, and their 5, we laid a foundation with our 2 that they have learnt from, and we've been involved with the 5, and still are, and will be, and that too is worthwhile, and rewarding, and time consuming, and challenging, and sometimes expensive. It will be worth it.

And if that seems a strong and heavy answer for AH, no apologies, there is NOTHING more important that laying a good foundation for the future in the next generation, and giving them the best possible start in life, with as strong and widely based a foundation as possible.

Last thing. Be VERY careful about pushing your child in any direction if the child is not showing interest, especially in areas of career, and even more so if you've been successful in that career, or (more dangerously) if you wanted to go in a direction and failed to get there for some reason, while your child is in many respects a mini you, they are their own person, with their own personality, and your role is to encourage and develop that personality, not strait jacket it into being a replica of you.

Micky Dolenz

Card counting.

AngryBollix

You work to live and not live to work. As soon as a job starts affecting your life its time to stop no matter how much money you earn.

You'll rarely if ever have more than one true friend at any one time no matter how hard you try. (Two if you are extremely lucky).

Don't let anyone else do your thinking for you. You'll regret it.

Marriage is for suckers.

Recognise good advice when you hear it. Conventional wisdom isn't always correct.

There's no such thing as an expert.

Your instincts are rarely wrong. Trust them.

Money isn't everything. Its only 99.5 percent of everything.

Acoshla

theg81der wrote: »

I know if my child is in a normal school I couldn`t really not let them wear a communion dress etc they would hate me??

I'm pretty sure if it's a boy he'd be ok with not wearing a Communion dress.

And that's a pretty sh*t reason for not having them make their Communion, either you raise them Catholic or you don't, but to consider making them Catholic so they can wear a dress and/or not be excluded is stupid.

AngryBollix

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Card counting.

Poker is better. Card Counting will inevitably get you banned if you are successful at it.

High Stakes PLO is your only man

Freddie59

MagicSean wrote: »

Swimming is a good one actually. Forgot about that.

Didn't learn to swim until I was 33.:eek: (now 52). Wished I had paid more attention in school. Yet I am delighted at the way my life turned out.:)

To the OP: best wishes on what is truly a journey my friend. We are at the other end (three adult children aged 26/24/21). It is a truly incredible experience which will both exhilerate and frustrate you at the same time!

But make the most of it. It will pass in the blink of an eye - really. Treasure your children. Never be afraid to hug them and tell them that you love them (whatever their age) - and that they can confide in you - no matter what. Ever.

One day they will turn from your child into your friend. But you must nurture that as they grow. Yes, you will have to discipline them. And they won't like it - may even resent you at times.

Embrace their interests and involve them in yours (if they so wish).

Never distance yourself from them.

Read the books by all means. But there is no manual. And no expert parents. You will see that as you progress.

theg81der

Red21 wrote: »

Reading and maths it depends, you may end up teaching your child to tune out when school starts. But teaching something like a musical instrument, this all depends on the kid and if they've an interest in it. If someone isin't getting any enjoyment from it I don't see the point.
Not saying this is you op, but I think many parents suffer from the "I coulda been someone" mentality and believe if their own percieved talents had been nurtured life would be so differant for them. They now try and live out their own fairytale through their kids, all they achieve is to put their children under undue stress.

Yea bit worried about them being bored at school I was and gave up by 4th class when I had all my books done in the 1st week, it just wasn`t challenging.

I see that pushy parents trying to live out there fantasies on their children - not good. This is more a try to give them option so I haven`t closed doors on them and have utilised the time when their mind is most capable. I`m having one child so hopefully I will have the time to dedicate to them god knows I don`t have money to give them this is the least I can do!

theg81der

Acoshla wrote: »

And that's a pretty sh*t reason for not having them make their Communion, either you raise them Catholic or you don't, but to consider making them Catholic so they can wear a dress and/or not be excluded is stupid.

I`m not considering "making" them catholic to wear a dress although thats what most people are doing, even for my step daughter communion preparation mass was once a month for her communion and out of the 4 parents I was the only one who would take her the rest won`t go to mass so why is the child making communion? My husband wants to do with our child and I consider it hypocritical. You really should read the whole post before you spout rubbish.

I`m saying it would be very difficult and maybe damaging to exclude a child from something like this, I remember the way the girl in out class who was excluded was treated and it was horrible. I would prefer a non denomination school for this reason.

strobe

To respect the potential for far reaching and disastrous consequences that can result from combining instantaneous text based electronic communication and alcohol.

To make sure you nail down at least one skill that can be transferred to a variety of countries relatively easily.

To put the effort in when it comes to learning other languages.

To treat any fight you get into as potentially life threatening and end it as soon as humanly possible in any way you have to resort to.

To not start smoking.

Pea 9

Id really recommend teaching your kid how to cook. Besides the obvious it can help keep your kid healthy and you can start really easy cus they tend to enjoy it

Pea 9

Can't believe I forgot. Teach them how to cheat. An invaluble life skill

deirdremf

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

I've nothing against Irish.

Glad to hear it, but you sure hide it well.

Princess Peach

As soon as he starts to treat you like sh*t, dump him.

Same goes for friends.

Gymnastics. I wish I had learned gymnastics. I'd have no boobs but I'd be so fit and bendy.

Check if everything is microwaveable.

I decided very recently too not to teach my children video games, as they have melted my brain.

ImpossibleDuck

I'm gonna have to go for: The difference between your and you're.

EDIT: Just realised this implies that I wasn't taught the difference........

theg81der

ImpossibleDuck wrote: »

I'm gonna have to go for: The difference between your and you're.

How many of you sad posters are there? get a life grammar nazi!

Susannahmia

Typing would have been cool.

To swim as early as possible.

A second language from the start would be great.

How to stand up for yourself and good social skills in general.

How to use money and buy stuff in a shop by yourself. I remember being around 7 and not understanding the concept of change. I thought I had to have the exact amount.

How to tell the time. I didn't learn until I was 8 or 9!

How to order food for yourself in a restaurant.

What hand to hold a fork in. (I still can't hold a fork properly in my left hand as I always used my right as a child.)

To make polite conversation and answer when spoken too. It's ridiculous the amount of kids these days that completely ignore you or look at you like you have two heads if you ask them a question.

The love of reading. (I've been an avid reader since age 7, it really helped me academically and it's a great hobby.)

Encourage them to try new foods. I know one girl aged 23 who will only eat one vegetable and will not try any new food. She's constantly anaemic.

Imo the most important thing to teach a child is to be self sufficient. There's nothing worse than a child who can't do basic age appropriate tasks for themselves. I have a cousin whose mother used to put the toothpaste on his toothbrush when he was 12, he made his first sandwich age 15... He didn't believe he was capable of doing anything for himself. Poor kid had and still has the lowest self confidence I have ever seen.