Stop the Press, I have a solution to the debt crisis!

EUSSR

It simply involves three words directed and Sarkozy and Company -> Take a Hike. Where did all these unsecured, unauthorized loans come from in the first place? Oh yes, the European Central bank. This money should never have been lent out in the first place, because no evidence of the ability to actually pay it all back was produced.

Any 12 year old could have foreseen what would happen when unstructured loans to inept Governments result in down the line. There is more to the IMF bailout story than our inept Government are leading us to believe. Bertie and the boys didn't just pull billions of euro from under their beds.

Who is with me?

old_aussie

Sue is the proprietor of a bar in Sutton Coldfield...

She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar.

To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.

Sue keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around about Sues "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Sue's bar. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in Sutton.

By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Sue gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages.

Consequently, Sue's gross sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Sue's borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for any undue concern because he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral!

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions, and transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS.

These "securities" then are bundled and traded on international securities markets.

Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as "AAA Secured Bonds" really are debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb - and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.

One day, even though the bond prices still are climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Sue's bar. He so informs Sue.

Sue then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons. But, being unemployed alcoholics -- they cannot pay back their drinking debts.

Since Sue cannot fulfil her loan obligations she is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes and Sue's 11 employees lose their jobs.

Overnight, DRINKBOND prices drop by 90%.

The collapsed bond asset value destroys the bank's liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.

The suppliers of Sue's bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the BOND securities.

They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds.

Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.

Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multibillion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from the government.

The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who have never been in Sue's bar.

Now do you understand the EuroZone troubles?

EUSSR

old_aussie wrote: »

Sue is the proprietor of a bar in Sutton Coldfield...

She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar.

To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.

Sue keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around about Sues "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Sue's bar. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in Sutton.

By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Sue gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages.

Consequently, Sue's gross sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Sue's borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for any undue concern because he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral!

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions, and transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS.

These "securities" then are bundled and traded on international securities markets.

Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as "AAA Secured Bonds" really are debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb - and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.

One day, even though the bond prices still are climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Sue's bar. He so informs Sue.

Sue then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons. But, being unemployed alcoholics -- they cannot pay back their drinking debts.

Since Sue cannot fulfil her loan obligations she is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes and Sue's 11 employees lose their jobs.

Overnight, DRINKBOND prices drop by 90%.

The collapsed bond asset value destroys the bank's liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.

The suppliers of Sue's bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the BOND securities.

They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds.

Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.

Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multibillion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from the government.

The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who have never been in Sue's bar.

Now do you understand the EuroZone troubles?

But I never consented to any of this nonsense? It's not my fault the EuroZone is ****ed. Why should fiscally responsible people fork out for the debt of faceless unelected people in faraway hideaway Brussels?

Most of this debt is imaginary. It's not like the loans are backed by a significant amount of liquidity or capital. Most of these loans were simply created at the stroke of a key! It's like monopoly money, just on a much larger, more serious scale.

TouchingVirus

Rabble, rabble

Sindri

We should go to war. Pick a tiny country that can offer no resistance like Switzerland, the neutral bastards, and then rob their banks.

EUSSR

Sindri wrote: »

We should go to war. Pick a tiny country that can offer no resistance like Switzerland, the neutral bastards, and then rob their banks.

Will there be cake? If it's a black forest, no deal. More importantly, where will these ill gotten gains be kept? I suggest Switzerland. Their banking secrecy is criminal.

Sindri

EUSSR wrote: »

Will there be cake? If it's a black forest, no deal. More importantly, where will these ill gotten gains be kept? I suggest Switzerland. Their banking secrecy is criminal.

I suggest giving them to Bertie.

HE'LL NEVER TALK!!!

mr_edge_to_you

Jesus that was so long I didn't bother reading it.

My solution is a tax tattoos rated on stupidity. Examples:

A 16 year old getting his/her g/f friends name on their body - highest rate of €500.
Actually saw one on boards where some dude for Sonic The Hedgehog tattooed on his leg which sparked this idea. This would also be the €500 tax.
Tattoos on the side of your neck - medium to high rate €400

The list is endless. If you can afford tattoos you can pay more tax. .

EUSSR

I suggest we slowly introduce soylent green. Would offset the cost associated with feeding people proper food. The politicians can go first and last.

Oranage2

I agree with the OP, banks are private business, they dont have fairness is their best interest. They print money with interest backed with nothing so basically they print 10€ but want 11€ but that extra euro just doesn't exist so that why we have recessions -

I'm sure some lad with 5-6 hours of lectures in economics is going to tell me I'm wrong but when common sense is overrided by some nerdiac opinion it just shows how easily brain washed we are.

EUSSR

Oranage2 wrote: »

I agree with the OP, banks are private business, they dont have fairness is their best interest. They print money with interest backed with nothing so basically they print 10€ but want 11€ but that extra euro just doesn't exist so that why we have recessions -

I'm sure some lad with 5-6 hours of lectures in economics is going to tell me I'm wrong but when common sense is overrided by some nerdiac opinion it just shows how easily brain washed we are.

This pretty much. As regards the Economics comment, well, they don't fool me. I am on the side of the common man, not educated guess workers. I don't care what they introduce to try and convince me otherwise, it's not really a hard science by any means.

Heaping misery on the fine citizens of our land to pay back gambled debts is not only immoral, it's brain dead stupid. Would be akin to forcing the bookie to pay me back after losing a race. I took the risk. Tough ****. That money is gone. No more "debt" to pay back on their behalf.

Common sense does not seem to be in force these days!

zenno

There will be no solution to the debt crisis man as long as these idiots are in control.

:pac::pac::pac:

The only good thing in this picture is the national anthem. the rest are scavengers of the ECB.

Phill Ewinn

Fools, idiots, lack of common sense, Bertie....... These people are anything but stupid. The two Brians are to blame along with the staff at the central bank and dept of finance.

Cowen had our central bank counterfeit 50bn to feed Anglo's loans. Set up NAMA to bail out his mates. He's far from stupid!

Stick with plan A. Arrest the previous shower, hand back the debts of Anglo to the bond holders and sort through which loans & bonds we should honour.

Jay D

Only if we jail the Irish c*nts who made the mess.

UglyBolloxFace

mr_edge_to_you wrote: »

Jesus that was so long I didn't bother reading it.

And that is one of the reasons we're in this mess - people having the same attitude with the loan contracts for their huge mortgages and super-loans.

EUSSR

Jay D wrote: »

Only if we jail the Irish c*nts who made the mess.

You can add the Euro Politicians to that list. Yes, the Irish ***** are responsible, but so too are the politicians we have never met living in faraway hideaway holes in Brussels.

The difference between these two categories, is the people responsible for the bad EU loans are hiding behind a corporate entity. At least we know the Politicians responsible in this country. We don't have that luxury when it comes to the Eurokrauts.

Honestly, can anybody here actually name all of the people involved at the European level like we do with our own politicians on a day to day basis?

UglyBolloxFace

Oranage2 wrote: »

I agree with the OP, banks are private business, they dont have fairness is their best interest. They print money with interest backed with nothing so basically they print 10€ but want 11€ but that extra euro just doesn't exist so that why we have recessions -

I'm sure some lad with 5-6 hours of lectures in economics is going to tell me I'm wrong but when common sense is overrided by some nerdiac opinion it just shows how easily brain washed we are.

Banks don't print money.

ejmaztec

old_aussie wrote: »

Sue is the proprietor of a bar in Sutton Coldfield...

She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar.

To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.

Sue keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around about Sues "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Sue's bar. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in Sutton.

By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Sue gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages.

Consequently, Sue's gross sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Sue's borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for any undue concern because he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral!

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions, and transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS.

These "securities" then are bundled and traded on international securities markets.

Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as "AAA Secured Bonds" really are debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb - and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.

One day, even though the bond prices still are climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Sue's bar. He so informs Sue.

Sue then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons. But, being unemployed alcoholics -- they cannot pay back their drinking debts.

Since Sue cannot fulfil her loan obligations she is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes and Sue's 11 employees lose their jobs.

Overnight, DRINKBOND prices drop by 90%.

The collapsed bond asset value destroys the bank's liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.

The suppliers of Sue's bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the BOND securities.

They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds.

Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.

Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multibillion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from the government.

The funds required for this bailout are obtained by newtaxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who have never been in Sue's bar.

Now do you understand the EuroZone troubles?

Are you sure it wasn't Heidi's bar in Chicago?:P

http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sociopolitica/sociopol_fulford76.htm

Freddie59

Oranage2 wrote: »

I agree with the OP, banks are private business, they dont have fairness is their best interest. They print money with interest backed with nothing so basically they print 10€ but want 11€ but that extra euro just doesn't exist so that why we have recessions -

I'm sure some lad with 5-6 hours of lectures in economics is going to tell me I'm wrong but when common sense is overrided by some nerdiac opinion it just shows how easily brain washed we are.

Yep. But the reality is that these were failed bankrupt, business entities which gambled on a horse called the property market. And lost. And then looked for their stake back. They should have been told to fcuk off. But we couldn't do so because of our €18bn budget deficit, caused by our over generous SW system and our PS wage bill. Neither of which ANY Government has the balls to tackle. We have to borrow from these self-same bankers every week. So checkmate to the bankers.

Freddie59

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Banks don't print money.

They just blow it. And expect us to pay.

upandcumming

EUSSR wrote: »

Why should fiscally responsible people fork out for the debt of faceless unelected people in faraway hideaway Brussels?

EUSSR wrote: »

... but so too are the politicians we have never met living in faraway hideaway holes in Brussels.

Brussels is not on the moon. It is a quite short 1hr 45m flight from Dublin.

up for anything

mr_edge_to_you wrote: »

Jesus that was so long I didn't bother reading it.

It probably wouldn't be worth the government's while to put a larger tax on books so.

Amirani

Irish Government made a legal commitment to repay the debts of our financial institutions and guarantee the savings that they hold. If now the state reneged on the agreement and told bondholders and EU/IMF to **** off, how would we go about borrowing money in the future? We wouldn't be able to sell bonds on the open market. Most countries wouldn't loan us money or buy our exports after we essentially told them to **** off. Our currency would be worthless. How then when we need to pay for essential imports like oil do we pay for it?

Amirani

Oranage2 wrote: »

I agree with the OP, banks are private business, they dont have fairness is their best interest. They print money with interest backed with nothing so basically they print 10€ but want 11€ but that extra euro just doesn't exist so that why we have recessions -

I'm sure some lad with 5-6 hours of lectures in economics is going to tell me I'm wrong but when common sense is overrided by some nerdiac opinion it just shows how easily brain washed we are.

One of the most ignorant posts I've seen. Private banks don't print money.

The Waltzing Consumer

Sindri wrote: »

We should go to war. Pick a tiny country that can offer no resistance like Switzerland, the neutral bastards, and then rob their banks.

EUSSR wrote: »

Will there be cake? If it's a black forest, no deal. More importantly, where will these ill gotten gains be kept? I suggest Switzerland. Their banking secrecy is criminal.

You guys know the same about economics as you do about Switzerland.

Nothing...:p

You should pick a country that does not have an extremely well funded, well armed and professional army. It is compulsory for all males, females can volunteer, to do military service.

So you want us to invade a country where pretty much all men and a good portion of women have military training and are required to keep their arms and equipment in their homes.

Great idea :rolleyes:

Is it me or do a certain amount of posters remind you of the rabble rabble crowds in South Park
1) Banks print money, rabble rabble rabble
2) Brussels is a faraway hideaway rabble rabble rabble
3) Let's invade Switzerland rabble rabble rabble

The only conclusion I can take from the recession is that it really brought stupidity to the microphone!

ejmaztec

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

You guys know the same about economics as you do about Switzerland.

Nothing...:p

You should pick a country that does not have an extremely well funded, well armed and professional army. It is compulsory for all males, females can volunteer, to do military service.

So you want us to invade a country where pretty much all men and a good portion of women have military training and are required to keep their arms and equipment in their homes.

Great idea :rolleyes:

!

They won't know what's hit them after we send the big wooden horse to Zurich.

Freddie59

NiallSparky wrote: »

Irish Government made a legal commitment to repay the debts of our financial institutions and guarantee the savings that they hold. If now the state reneged on the agreement and told bondholders and EU/IMF to **** off, how would we go about borrowing money in the future? We wouldn't be able to sell bonds on the open market. Most countries wouldn't loan us money or buy our exports after we essentially told them to **** off. Our currency would be worthless. How then when we need to pay for essential imports like oil do we pay for it?

The only reason we're borrowing in the first place is because of the €18Bn deficit. And that's not being borrowed to 'buy oil'......

Sykk

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Banks don't print money.

Yes they do. The ICB prints tens of thousands per week. A friend of mine runs the prodution line...

Mr.Biscuits

I have a better idea of getting this €150 Billion ..

A MASSIVE JUMBLE SALE!

The whole country gets involved and lets say just three million people took part and each one raised €50 - well, sure that's bang on €150 Billion!!



EDIT: Oops, it's actually only €150 Million, I forgot to carry the one, apologies. Get Amanda Brunker to do Playboy perhaps?

EUSSR

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

I have a better idea of getting this €150 Billion ..

A MASSIVE JUMBLE SALE!

The whole country gets involved and lets say just three million people took part and each one raised €50 - well, sure that's bang on €150 Billion!!



EDIT: Oops, it's actually only €150 Million, I forgot to carry the one, apologies. Get Amanda Brunker to do Playboy perhaps?

Give that man a can of coke.

empacher

Am i the only person who thought this was going to be a legalize marijuana thread. with the argument consisting of black market profits, taxes, and it being less dangerous then alcohol

Phill Ewinn

NiallSparky wrote: »

Irish Government made a legal commitment to repay the debts of our financial institutions and guarantee the savings that they hold. If now the state reneged on the agreement and told bondholders and EU/IMF to **** off, how would we go about borrowing money in the future? We wouldn't be able to sell bonds on the open market. Most countries wouldn't loan us money or buy our exports after we essentially told them to **** off. Our currency would be worthless. How then when we need to pay for essential imports like oil do we pay for it?

OMG. Should we all just run around the place screaming and pulling our hair out. Getting justice for the citizen may not involve leading everyone into famine and ruination FFS.

Half of Euorpe would love to see us send these criminals and gamblers to the poor house.

Brendan97

don't see how giving them atari jaguars is any better than paying them

Jay D

EUSSR wrote: »

You can add the Euro Politicians to that list. Yes, the Irish ***** are responsible, but so too are the politicians we have never met living in faraway hideaway holes in Brussels.

The difference between these two categories, is the people responsible for the bad EU loans are hiding behind a corporate entity. At least we know the Politicians responsible in this country. We don't have that luxury when it comes to the Eurokrauts.

Honestly, can anybody here actually name all of the people involved at the European level like we do with our own politicians on a day to day basis?

Obviously people would generally know their own gov and not that of a collection of others. I'm not just talking about politicians. Has anyone seen the UK bailout for these w*nkers lately? You know the ones I'm talking about who aren't politicians themselves?
And yeah like it's only belgium, swear it was a Nazi hideaway in Brazil.

Phill Ewinn

Brendan97 wrote: »

don't see how giving them atari jaguars is any better than paying them

I have two atari jaguars in Bulgaria. I'm waiting for Ryanair to do direct flights. Me mates all have one in Spain. They said I'm mad, I heard Bulgarian atari jaguars will double in value next year.

K-9

Jay D wrote: »

Obviously people would generally know their own gov and not that of a collection of others. I'm not just talking about politicians. Has anyone seen the UK bailout for these w*nkers lately? You know the ones I'm talking about who aren't politicians themselves?
And yeah like it's only belgium, swear it was a Nazi hideaway in Brazil.

Indeed, the US and UK banks would really be up the sh*ts if Euro banks had to be wound up. The whole thing is an interweaved, global ponzi scheme, the extreme Nationalists don't get it and blame the ECB!

later12

EUSSR wrote: »

It simply involves three words directed and Sarkozy and Company -> Take a Hike. Where did all these unsecured, unauthorized loans come from in the first place? Oh yes, the European Central bank. This money should never have been lent out in the first place, because no evidence of the ability to actually pay it all back was produced.

Well no,the money really came from investors; the flame retardant bondholders.

And as for European bankers, they hold less than €10 billion in Irish bank bonds. Most Irish bank bonds are owned by Irish, UK and US investors.

Your theory's a bit bollox.

eire.man

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

I have a better idea of getting this €150 Billion ..

A MASSIVE JUMBLE SALE!

The whole country gets involved and lets say just three million people took part and each one raised €50 - well, sure that's bang on €150 Billion!!



[SIZE="1"]EDIT: Oops, it's actually only €150 Million, I forgot to carry the one, apologies. Get Amanda Brunker to do Playboy perhaps? [/SIZE]

so if we all raised 500 notes somehow we could pay off the debt and get a deal for paying early!! How cool would that be, 2 fingers to the imf and their friends, leave the eu after and take back everything that is ours again!! fishing and oil spring to mind immediately

Amirani

Freddie59 wrote: »

The only reason we're borrowing in the first place is because of the €18Bn deficit.

No, it's not the only reason. How do you think we could afford to recapitalise our banks?

Amirani

Phill Ewinn wrote: »

OMG. Should we all just run around the place screaming and pulling our hair out. Getting justice for the citizen may not involve leading everyone into famine and ruination FFS.

Half of Euorpe would love to see us send these criminals and gamblers to the poor house.

If our Government legally guarantees bank debt then we have to pay it. Simple as.

nyan warrior

I have the solution to recapitalising banks.
Hold the World Sulky Racing Championship here in Ireland. (Its a sport i swear) People would come from far and wide to see it. Our own team could compete with the finest piebald stallions ever to grace
a halting site. Huge boost for tourism and horse dealers. Once a year every year. Should keep the banks fed and watered