Together 8 yrs, broken up 18 months, would it be worth trying to get back?

Larleane28

Basically the headline says it all. I was with my ex partner for eight years and we broke up eighteen months ago. It was a mutual split and we've had no contact on either side since.

Of course there were reasons for the break up, there always are. But there were reasons we were together eight years too.

I've found myself thinking of him a lot lately, and I wonder how much he thinks of me? The non-communicado situation hasn't stopped me thinking of him so it may well not have stopped him thinking of me.

The bottom line is there is still love there from my end, and if there might still be love there on his, would I not be a fool to contact him to try to guage his feelings??

The thing is.. I still miss him, I loved him very much.

Larleane28

sunflower27 wrote: »

Hi there

It sounds as if you want to contact himm but are possibly are afraid to hear he has moved on. In all probability he has, but none of us but him know if he still has feelings for you.

Was the last contact 18months ago? How did it end? Do you even know where he is now?

Sorry for all the questions, just wanted to know a bit of background.

Regardless of whether you get back together, you will be OK. And if it turns out he doesn't, then at least you know where you stand and can put the past behind you once and for all.

Hi Sunflower, thanks for responding! Firstly I'd like to know does the emboldened bit mean you think I have a good reason to be contacting him? Though I guess I am probably clutching at straws with that...

To answer your questions, yes the last contact from either of us was eighteen months ago. It ended very bitterly with much screaming, shouting and slamming of doors. His family interfered relentlessly in our relationship and I could take no more. There were no third parties in the classic sense of the term, but there certainly was a family who didn't know how to keep their beaks out of other peoples business.

Yes I know where he is now, he's in the same place he always was.

I was looking at old photos of him recently and I don't know. Ah God, maybe it's just the new year/movin on blues...

treakle

Hi there,

OP I could have actually wrote your post...although there are a few different details on my side. I'm male and I split with my ex 2 years ago. We were together 7 years. Plus the split wasn't mutual...it was what she wanted and not me

May sound a little sad ...but she's still the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing at night! My love for her has never faded and I don't think it ever will. Anyway, we haven't had any contact now in well over a year. There were also issues on her side that were quite serious in that she suffered from depression and pushed me away (which is what depressed people do I have learned).

Anyway...2 weeks ago I wrote a personal heartfelt letter asking how she was, that I still think about her and miss her etc.
I haven't actually sent the letter yet but I am still contemplating it :rolleyes:

It's a really difficult boat that we both find ourselves in...do we or don't we? What are the consequences either way? Will they be overjoyed to hear from us or will they resent us for it?

Like you...the bottom line is I still miss her and love her so much and there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for her.

Have you still got his number?...or email?...or how would you go about it?

gmac102

treakle wrote: »

Hi there,

OP I could have actually wrote your post...although there are a few different details on my side. I'm male and I split with my ex 2 years ago. We were together 7 years. Plus the split wasn't mutual...it was what she wanted and not me

May sound a little sad ...but she's still the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing at night! My love for her has never faded and I don't think it ever will. Anyway, we haven't had any contact now in well over a year. There were also issues on her side that were quite serious in that she suffered from depression and pushed me away (which is what depressed people do I have learned).

Anyway...2 weeks ago I wrote a personal heartfelt letter asking how she was, that I still think about her and miss her etc.
I haven't actually sent the letter yet but I am still contemplating it :rolleyes:

It's a really difficult boat that we both find ourselves in...do we or don't we? What are the consequences either way? Will they be overjoyed to hear from us or will they resent us for it?

Like you...the bottom line is I still miss her and love her so much and there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for her.

Have you still got his number?...or email?...or how would you go about it?

i think you shuld send the letter!

BraziliaNZ

treakle wrote: »

Hi there,

OP I could have actually wrote your post...although there are a few different details on my side. I'm male and I split with my ex 2 years ago. We were together 7 years. Plus the split wasn't mutual...it was what she wanted and not me

May sound a little sad ...but she's still the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing at night! My love for her has never faded and I don't think it ever will. Anyway, we haven't had any contact now in well over a year. There were also issues on her side that were quite serious in that she suffered from depression and pushed me away (which is what depressed people do I have learned).

Anyway...2 weeks ago I wrote a personal heartfelt letter asking how she was, that I still think about her and miss her etc.
I haven't actually sent the letter yet but I am still contemplating it :rolleyes:

It's a really difficult boat that we both find ourselves in...do we or don't we? What are the consequences either way? Will they be overjoyed to hear from us or will they resent us for it?

Like you...the bottom line is I still miss her and love her so much and there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for her.

Have you still got his number?...or email?...or how would you go about it?

She dumped you. Don't send it man, do yourself a favour, keep your dignity. If she wanted to see you she would let you know. Move on, it's been 2 years, that's not right.

Overheal

Larleane28 wrote: »

Hi Sunflower, thanks for responding! Firstly I'd like to know does the emboldened bit mean you think I have a good reason to be contacting him? Though I guess I am probably clutching at straws with that...

Clearly you want to contact him. We're just here to help point out for you what you already know and how you already feel. It sounds to me that at the very least you are in need of more closure. Not saying it couldn't go either way but if/when you contact him I'd hate for you to get your heart broken twice, so just be careful about it.

28064212

The bigger question is not whether he still has feelings for you, it's whether anything has changed in the reasons for you breaking up. If everything goes perfectly, and he has been pining for you (far from a certainty), what's to stop the exact same reasons breaking you up again?

Larleane28

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and comments. I'll respond with a little more details as soon as I've had some time to mull all this over in my own head.

Thanks again to everyone.....x