Oil Crisis

TeddyTedson

I've been thinking of ways to solve the oil crisis. I'm not a scientist so maybe this wouldn't be possible but I have two ideas.

1. The first idea is to use human bodies as fuel in existing coal and peat stations. Instead of being buried when we die would it not be better to be given to the ESB and used to supplement the fuel supply. Obviously there aren't going to be enough dead bodies to power the whole country but we could also use dead animals and even the rubbish we throw out to be burnt all together and be put to good use.
2. The second idea is to make prisoners we have turn dynamos all day. Like the big turbines in powers stations we could have them all chained together and have to keep pushing turbines all day.

That's just two ideas I have, I'm sure they're probably flawed though because it's not being done right now.

Is nuclear fuel the only real option going forward?

Faith+1

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I've been thinking of ways to solve the oil crisis. I'm not a scientist so maybe this wouldn't be possible but I have two ideas.

1. The first idea is to use human bodies as fuel in existing coal and peat stations. Instead of being buried when we die would it not be better to be given to the ESB and used to supplement the fuel supply. Obviously there aren't going to be enough dead bodies to power the whole country but we could also use dead animals and even the rubbish we throw out to be burnt all together and be put to good use.
2. The second idea is to make prisoners we have turn dynamos all day. Like the big turbines in powers stations we could have them all chained together and have to keep pushing turbines all day.

That's just two ideas I have, I'm sure they're probably flawed though because it's not being done right now.

Is nuclear fuel the only real option going forward?

Glad we got that out of the way

chucken1

Another great idea would be to use water

http://www.esb.ie/main/about-esb/history.jsp

Ghandee

I give ESB enough as it is when i'm alive, no way they're getting to burn me one least time after I die!

TeddyTedson

Actually the humans might be a bit hard for people to accept. We'll just say animals for now.

L.Jenkins

TeddyTedson wrote: »

The second idea is to make prisoners we have turn dynamos all day. Like the big turbines in powers stations we could have them all chained together and have to keep pushing turbines all day.

Like a big hamster wheel. That could be their exercise for the day.

lastlaugh

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I've been thinking of ways to solve the oil crisis. I'm not a scientist so maybe this wouldn't be possible but I have two ideas.

1. The first idea is to use human bodies as fuel in existing coal and peat stations. Instead of being buried when we die would it not be better to be given to the ESB and used to supplement the fuel supply. Obviously there aren't going to be enough dead bodies to power the whole country but we could also use dead animals and even the rubbish we throw out to be burnt all together and be put to good use.
2. The second idea is to make prisoners we have turn dynamos all day. Like the big turbines in powers stations we could have them all chained together and have to keep pushing turbines all day.

That's just two ideas I have, I'm sure they're probably flawed though because it's not being done right now.

Is nuclear fuel the only real option going forward?

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Like a big hamster wheel. That could be their exercise for the day.

And if they don't comply, we could just fire them straight into the furnace.

TeddyTedson

lastlaugh wrote: »

And if they don't comply, we could just fire them straight into the furnace.

:eek:

L.Jenkins

lastlaugh wrote: »

And if they don't comply, we could just fire them straight into the furnace.

Could have a little shute connected to the furnace. If they stumble and fall over, they get ejected straight into the furnace.

hondasam

I vote for the second idea. tis just fcuking brilliant. get those lazy bastards to do something useful.

lastlaugh

Maybe we should start actively encouraging the elderly to become morbidly obese so that there is a lot more energy output when they are loaded into the furnace?

chucken1

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Actually the humans might be a bit hard for people to accept. We'll just say animals for now.

You might have a point about animals. Cant say Ive ever thought about this before


http://www.rte.ie/news/2009/0415/farming.html

Killer Pigeon

I've just ran out of lube, this is getting serious guys.

Tomk1

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Like a big hamster wheel. That could be their exercise for the day.

That would be ironic, as on the otherside of the grid, people would be using esb for tread mills as they exercise in the Gym.

Brazil grows their bio-fuel, why can't we.
(Carbon tax, the non-solution to air pollution)

L.Jenkins

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

I've just ran out of lub, this is getting serious guys.

Maybe you could use the furnace to melt down some old used tires to make lube.

Killer Pigeon

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Maybe you could use the furnace to melt down some old used tires to make lube.

But I don't have a furnace or old used tires!!

L.Jenkins

We could find them and solve the Oil Crisis too.

dxhound2005

Burn the bondholders.

L.Jenkins

Rabble rabble rabble, bond holders rabble rabble rabble. I shall find tires so you won't be without lube KP.

TeddyTedson

What are you doing with lube?

dxhound2005

American imperialism. It's tyres not tires.

L.Jenkins

Fixing creeking doors aparently. WD40 doesn't seem to cut it anymore.

TeddyTedson

I know the pope doesn't use condoms, but what's his take on lube?

L.Jenkins

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I know the pope doesn't use condoms, but what's his take on lube?

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr5fwwYkVb1qaaowno1_400.png

Fear Uladh

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I know the pope doesn't use condoms, but what's his take on lube?

On account of his nazi history, I'd say he prefers marching in as opposed to sliding in. :pac:

Del2005

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Fixing creeking doors aparently. WD40 doesn't seem to cut it anymore.

That's cause it's Water Displacement attempt 40,it's not a proper lube try 3in1.

AskMyChocolate

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I know the pope doesn't use condoms, but what's his take on lube?

10%

Killer Pigeon

Remember guys, always use water based...

TeddyTedson

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I've been thinking of ways to solve the oil crisis. I'm not a scientist so maybe this wouldn't be possible but I have two ideas.

1. The first idea is to use human bodies as fuel in existing coal and peat stations. Instead of being buried when we die would it not be better to be given to the ESB and used to supplement the fuel supply. Obviously there aren't going to be enough dead bodies to power the whole country but we could also use dead animals and even the rubbish we throw out to be burnt all together and be put to good use.
2. The second idea is to make prisoners we have turn dynamos all day. Like the big turbines in powers stations we could have them all chained together and have to keep pushing turbines all day.

That's just two ideas I have, I'm sure they're probably flawed though because it's not being done right now.

Is nuclear fuel the only real option going forward?

There's no oil crisis ..................
















if you're rich, if you're not tough shít, you'll have to walk!

LaFlammeRouge

Most of Scandanavia connect their crematoriums to the local district heating scheme.

Mike 1972

O/P You sir are a fuking genius

<rabble rabble>However If I could suggest a refinement for your proposal

TeddyTedson wrote: »

The first idea is to use human bodies as fuel ..The second idea is to make prisoners we have ......

I think you see where Im going here</rabble rabble>

<Godwin>However one should have a care not to inadvertently infringe any outstanding patents held by a certain Messrs Topf & Sons</Godwin>

Capt'n Midnight

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I've been thinking of ways to solve the oil crisis. I'm not a scientist so maybe this wouldn't be possible but I have two ideas.

1. The first idea is to use human bodies as fuel in existing coal and peat stations. Instead of being buried when we die would it not be better to be given to the ESB and used to supplement the fuel supply. Obviously there aren't going to be enough dead bodies to power the whole country but we could also use dead animals and even the rubbish we throw out to be burnt all together and be put to good use.
2. The second idea is to make prisoners we have turn dynamos all day. Like the big turbines in powers stations we could have them all chained together and have to keep pushing turbines all day.

That's just two ideas I have, I'm sure they're probably flawed though because it's not being done right now.

Is nuclear fuel the only real option going forward?

Option 1, people generate many times their weight in waste every year, so burning bodies won't change the waste to energy statistics much. In the next few years we'll see up to 89MW of that coming online. That would be nearly 5% of the difference between current nighttime and evening electricity demand.


Option 2 , a human can only produce about 1KWh per day
that's worth at most 20c, ( off peak it's only worth 3c )
at present it costs €211.00 per day to look after prisoners.

dj jarvis

ok ok think people

burning ANYTHING is bad for poor old us , be it animals people or tires
all would cause green house gasses so that is a non runner , sorry hitler fans

now the prisoners on thread mills would be funny to watch but again it would have dire repercussions , we would end up with a super fit criminal class who could run like **** - have you seen any of our fat arsed garda lately .......

as for crematoria burning stiffs - apx 30000 people pop their clogs every year in ireland , this might heat a small town possibly but the carbon caused by transport alone would make it pointless - i think the Scandinavia model is for heating a SMALL number of public swimming pools not houses and is not widely used - i was in a Finnish swimming pool yesterday and i can say it was not powered by dead people being roasted

as for growing bio fuel to replace fossil fuels - this is also a fools errand and a big mistake - it is taking up space normally used for growing crops for human consumption , this is already causing food supply issues for the 3rd world

as i see it , locally built wind farms using recycled materials is the most carbon neutral way of producing electricity , once you have enough capacity then you can start producing lo carbon solar devices and electric cars

as for home heating the french are testing a thermal power station that harnesses power from the earths crust by drilling 8 - 10 km into the earths crust to super heat water for electricity and hot water for home heating and other hot water needs

also mentioned is the idea of using wind power to pump sea water into a man made dam , then the water is released back into the sea producing more power

i have read a document from some american cone head who said Ireland could become the renewable power super power within a decade - spending a quarter of the cash we pissed away on the banks if only we got up of our lazy holes and done it , the amount of jobs from this would also be huge

will we do it - we will in our arse because we never do the right thing

happy new year to our doomed species

Logical Fallacy

hondasam wrote: »

I vote for the second idea. tis just fcuking brilliant. get those lazy bastards to do something useful.

Chances are that the energy required to produce the food they would need, transport it and cook it would outweigh the energy produced.

Son Of A Vidic

OP - I do like your idea of having prisoners work and perhaps give something back to society. But regarding oil crisis? There is none, it's just under selective control.

seamus

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Chances are that the energy required to produce the food they would need, transport it and cook it would outweigh the energy produced.

+1

The biggest consumption of oil, by far, is through transport. The oil "crisis" could be completely averted if we switched all passenger vehicles onto electrics. Haulage and air traffic could still use oil and we'd have loads to spare.

Capt'n Midnight

seamus wrote: »

+1

The biggest consumption of oil, by far, is through transport. The oil "crisis" could be completely averted if we switched all passenger vehicles onto electrics. Haulage and air traffic could still use oil and we'd have loads to spare.

the next biggest savings would be to require all buildings to have decent BER ratings

switching to electrics won't offer any benefits compared to diesel - NiMH hybrids until we get a lot more of our leccy from renewables

electric cars are OMFG when you include whole life costs , wheel to wheel and remove subsidies ( Hydrogen in internal combustion engine is pure greenwashing )

Sky King

Hydrogen fuel cells more so than internal combustion to be honest.

Peak oil is a load of kack. There's loads of it there.

DB21

The correct answer is Nuclear power

bleg

Decentralization (not the FF kind) of power production is the only way forward!

Freddie59

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Is nuclear fuel the only real option going forward?

There's no doubt that alternatives to oil have been discovered. But, unfortunately, as the whole world economy revolves around it, don't expect the alternative to be released anytime soon.

bleg

DB21 wrote: »

The correct answer is Nuclear power

Wrong! What are we going to do? Start building a plant now so that it may be ready in minimum 13 years importing experts from outside of Ireland to do the job for us. In fact, we'll have to build two, in case one goes down. Better to invest in alternative energy and invest in our own people to become experts in the field. Nuclear was the correct answer 25 years ago.


Also, watch this video: http://www.ted.com/talks/richard_sears_planning_for_the_end_of_oil.html

L.Jenkins

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Chances are that the energy required to produce the food they would need, transport it and cook it would outweigh the energy produced.

What if we had zombie prisoners. Toss them the ones that won't work.

SafeSurfer

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I've been thinking of ways to solve the oil crisis. I'm not a scientist so maybe this wouldn't be possible but I have two ideas.

1. The first idea is to use human bodies as fuel in existing coal and peat stations. Instead of being buried when we die would it not be better to be given to the ESB and used to supplement the fuel supply. Obviously there aren't going to be enough dead bodies to power the whole country but we could also use dead animals and even the rubbish we throw out to be burnt all together and be put to good use.
2. The second idea is to make prisoners we have turn dynamos all day. Like the big turbines in powers stations we could have them all chained together and have to keep pushing turbines all day.

That's just two ideas I have, I'm sure they're probably flawed though because it's not being done right now.

Is nuclear fuel the only real option going forward?

How long have you been in the Fine Gael think tank?

Yahew

There is no fracking oil crisis.

Mike 1972

dj jarvis wrote: »

.burning ANYTHING is bad for poor old us , be it animals people or tires all would cause green house gasses ..a...s for growing bio fuel to replace fossil fuels - this is also a fools errand and a big mistake - it is taking up space normally used for growing crops for human consumption

Lots of land out there thats sh@g all good for growing food crops but still usable for biofuels.

Burning either biofuels or fossil fuels releases CO2 (and other crap) into the athmosphere the difference being that the carbon cycle with fossil fuels takes thousands or millions of years with biofuels its over anything from a couple of months to a couple of decades. Essentially the carbon is being recycled.

Lavezzi

Ireland is the only Country in Europe with fluoridated water (a chemical used to kill brain cells, making people choose to be more docile being one of the symptoms of fluoride poisoning.) We've also had our natural resources robbed in a far, far more despicable way than any other Country in the world, without ANY backlash or even questioning from the public WHATSOEVER. Can anyone spot a possible conspiracy here?

Mike 1972

Lavezzi wrote: »

Ireland is the only Country in Europe with fluoridated water

FAIL

Lavezzi

Mike 1972 wrote: »

FAIL

The most fluoridated I should have said. Why don't you people be this critical of our politicians, then maybe we wouldn't be under complete zionist control.

Major derailment on thread!

Capt'n Midnight

Lavezzi wrote: »

The most fluoridated I should have said. Why don't you people be this critical of our politicians, then maybe we wouldn't be under complete zionist control.

Fluoride is an anion not a zion :rolleyes: