People bluffing about cars!

Mr Benevolent

This confuses the hell out of me, but it's amusing at the same time. In my workplace there are at least two people who are interested in cars.

The first one has an SC400. Nice car, but he claims to have done lots of work to it, yet the interior is a pile of crap, the exterior is wrecked and then he started the engine and immediately bounced it off the limiter from cold (in neutral). To make matters worse, he thinks the Chrysler 300 is actually called the 400 and the Alfa 156 1.8 has a choice of standard or TwinSpark engine :rolleyes:

The second guy owns a 2L Hyundai Coupe and says he loves it, which obviously made me suspicious as no-one can love a Hyundai. Then he starts telling me that it's a great car because it's turbocharged

What makes people think they can make this stuff sound plausible? I admit, I only know what I want to know about cars, i.e usual problems, a bit of troubleshooting, new cars coming out etc, but I don't bullshit - it's too easy to catch me out!

I don't bother calling their bluff, it's more fun that way Has anyone else experienced this?

Nissan doctor

Well the first point of suspicion would be 2 people saying they are 'into' cars and then buying the one of the worst handling and poorly built lexus ever and a 20 years old saloon car with a slightly sporty body.:P

There are loads of sh1te talkers out there, its funny to hear them sometimes.

As your man to show you his turbo and see what waffle he comes out with!



Actually edit: I'm thinking of the sc430, if its an sc400 he has then its a Toyota Soarer with ebay bought lexus badges most likely.

Alanstrainor

It doesn't sound like they're into cars tbh!

btkm8unsl0w5r4

Maybe they are just feigning interest in cars as they know your into them and they dont want to hurt your feelings. I am an awful car bore and I can see when somebody is just playing along with me and listening to me drone on about stuff they couldn't care less about.

coolbeans

It might be harmless fun when you listen to a clueless eejit ranting about his car but it gets worrying when they give advice to others and this advice is then acted upon. Every ****er has an opinion when it comes to cars which is why you should choose who you listen to very carefully.

kildare.17hmr

i love Meetin people like that it gives me great personal enjoyment. It gets even better when you throw in something like "did you see the new 2.5 turbo charged dewoo matiz with 4 wd, not bad for less than 12 grand" only for them to tell you they were at the dealers yesterday test driving one

Nissan doctor

coolbeans wrote: »

It might be harmless fun when you listen to a clueless eejit ranting about his car but it gets worrying when they give advice to others and this advice is then acted upon. Every ****er has an opinion when it comes to cars which is why you should choose who you listen to very carefully.

^^McDonnalds car park tuning I call that!:P

Confab

Confab wrote: »

........ Has anyone else experienced this?

A gnome I know claims to have done lots of work on cars over the years "dropping gearboxes" etc etc etc, currently building a 2 car garage at his house for "tinkering away with projects". A few months back he diagnosed turbo failure on his Accord as it was hesitant at 2000rpm, no other symptoms.

kildare.17hmr

Haha^^^

...I don't like the bastad anyway, when he heard I had an MG he commented I must spend a lot of time under the bonnet :mad:

:pac:

Mr Benevolent

Shiloh Sticky Curl wrote: »

Maybe they are just feigning interest in cars as they know your into them and they dont want to hurt your feelings. I am an awful car bore and I can see when somebody is just playing along with me and listening to me drone on about stuff they couldn't care less about.

I tend not to drone on as I used to be hugely into aviation (still am a bit) and people would get very bored listening to me, so I learned my lesson before I got into cars.

Aviation is ultranerd stuff, cars are simple and cheap in comparison. For the price of an F10 M5 you'd get a piece of unreliable 1990s junk burning €100 of AVGAS per hour. Add €10k of maintenance per year, €2k insurance and €2k hangarage fees and an M5 seems cheap in comparison.

Sleepy

I'm "into" cars in that I like them and know a little about particular models I like but would be the first to admit when I don't know something. Bluff about it and people are likely to leave you wallow in your ignorance, be upfront about not knowing things and people who know better are far more likely to teach you something!

Atomic Pineapple

The best one I ever had was when some lad in a petrol station asked me what size engine was in my Integra Tye R, I said 1.8, he then proceeded to tell me how his Golf is a 2.0 and that because of that it was faster than the ITR :rolleyes:

EPM

draffodx wrote: »

The best one I ever had was when some lad in a petrol station asked me what size engine was in my Integra Tye R, I said 1.8, he then proceeded to tell me how his Golf is a 2.0 and that because of that it was faster than the ITR :rolleyes:

He was probably correct with granny draf driving though:p

pajo1981

I remember a guy a few years back telling me about how his 2001 Hyundai Coupe was his baby.

He went on to tell me that he'd always liked Japanese cars :rolleyes:

Tea 1000

I've had a guy talk in depth to me about his new 318i, which was his 3rd I think, but by far the most powerful one. It was now at 218bhp. Because BMW tune their cars every year to make them more powerful than last years. This was back in 2005. He also proceeded to tell me that his Canon 450D had in-built image stabilisation when I mistakenly changed the subject to cameras when I was sick of his BMW bullsh!t. How I wished I could have closed my ears with my earlobes, but no matter how hard I tried it didn't happen...

Atomic Pineapple

EPM wrote: »

He was probably correct with granny draf driving though:p

Smart ass!

An Ri rua

Tea 1000 wrote: »

I've had a guy talk in depth to me about his new 318i, which was his 3rd I think, but by far the most powerful one. It was now at 218bhp. Because BMW tune their cars every year to make them more powerful than last years. This was back in 2005. He also proceeded to tell me that his Canon 450D had in-built image stabilisation when I mistakenly changed the subject to cameras when I was sick of his BMW bullsh!t. How I wished I could have closed my ears with my earlobes, but no matter how hard I tried it didn't happen...

Actually, next year's 318i will have a USB connection AND a docking port for a Canon 450D. It will allow for firmware updates one of which i believe will convert the beemer cockpit into a full-on flight simulator. If you got the lithium-ion model. The car, that is....

alias no.9

I went to school with a guy who's first car was a k10 micra 1.0 (definitely not the superturbo, think it was a 1.0L, the most basic model). He claimed to have topped 100mph in it and when I challenged him, he responded by claiming that he wasn't even going flat out, that it would easily top 110mph.

E39MSport

Super Army Soldiers

listermint

looked at a car yesterday for someone, this guy was 'really into his car' and treated it like a queen.

opened the door, large hole in the drivers side car mat right through to the carpet. I kinda just looked at him with a look of 'queen is it'..... :rolleyes:

Tea drinker

Alanstrainor wrote: »

It doesn't sound like they're into cars tbh!

Exactly. They are into talking about themselves and how interesting what they do is.

Voodoomelon

I'm a bit of a contradiction in that I only started driving 4 years ago when I was 24. I was always into cars, but knew nothing about driving.

If you put me in a manual track car and told me to put the foot down, i'd probably be off at the first corner. I have no real fast manual switching skill or fast driving skill beyond putting the foot down, but am a perfectly capable every day driver.

So I suppose I was a bit of a mouth when I was younger, yapping on about cars yet having never even driven one. But I would always be chatting about engines, mechanics and electronics, I wouldn't bullshít about handling, road feel or anything like that as I wouldn't have had a clue.

My interest in cars is an extension of my interest in anything mechancial/electrical, mostly a practical interest.

Henry Ford III

What about people who judge a cars performance potential based solely on it's speedo........"She's clocked for 140mph"

Marcusm

RoverJames wrote: »

...I don't like the bastad anyway, when he heard I had an MG he commented I must spend a lot of time under the bonnet :mad:

:pac:

To which you undoubtedly responded, "Absolutey, the engine is so truly beautiful as to enchant me just by looking at it".

EPM

I had a guy pull up alongside me in a 1.4 Octavia. He gave me a knowing glance and I knew it was game on. The cheek of him even contemplating a race with a TDI VRS. I couldnt for the life of me understand how anyone could have such a poor disregard for their own safety. Surely he knew the road in front would be thrown in his face once I launched all 350bhp smoothly through the front wheels up to the 8k red line (It only shows 6k on the clocks to deceive you like all TDI's).

As he disappeared into the distance I looked in my rear view mirror and felt immense pity. He probably had run out of inferior petrol while I had no doubt gotten at least 80mpg. He was probably paying monsterous tax too on his while mine is just a bit of spare change. I need to look into changing it now though, the new model has cheaper tax again and even more TDI POWER.

Mycroft H

Henry Ford III wrote: »

What about people who judge a cars performance potential based solely on it's speedo........"She's clocked for 140mph"

I used to do that when I was 9

btkm8unsl0w5r4

Love when kids go on about their dads car being the best in the world, its so cute and something I did myself as a kid.

pred racer

alias no.9 wrote: »

I went to school with a guy who's first car was a k10 micra 1.0 (definitely not the superturbo, think it was a 1.0L, the most basic model). He claimed to have topped 100mph in it and when I challenged him, he responded by claiming that he wasn't even going flat out, that it would easily top 110mph.

Ive done 100 (indicated) in a jap import k10 micra 1.0 between athy and kilcullen
And believe me it had no more to give. The bloody 'omg ur doing over 60 ' beeper was still active.....what a racket:p

I believe it was only possible coz it was a red one:D

A lad i used to work with told us he had bought a punto gti, then reported all 10 of us to HR when we took a photo of his tax disc showing 1.0L and gave him dogs abuse about it.

tossy

I over heard 2 lads in the locker room in work talking,one lad was explaining to the other that 1.4,2.0,3.2 was all nonsense that all cars left the factory with the same size engine and that it was a 'chip' the manufacturer put in them that determined what size it was....

To make it worse the other guy replied with something along the lines of "Noooo way - sure its all a money making racket"

But when it comes to bluffing about cars the award goes to "supercharged 350z man"...... :D:D

Fiona

Shiloh Sticky Curl wrote: »

Love when kids go on about their dads car being the best in the world, its so cute and something I did myself as a kid.

Me too

But then again my Dad did have his garage at the side of the house so we had the bangers to back up the theory

Top Dog

EPM wrote: »

I need to look into changing it now though, the new model has cheaper tax again and even more TDI POWER.

If that was you that I saw in Kanturk yesterday evening - you might want to wash her first!

EPM

Top Dog wrote: »

If that was you that I saw in Kanturk yesterday evening - you might want to wash her first!

Wasn't me! And it does need a wash. Although heavy rain the other day helped clean it a bit.

Top Dog

An impostor so! :eek:

All I know is it was blue - was so filthy that I couldn't make out the rear reg plate

EPM

Top Dog wrote: »

An impostor so! :eek:

All I know is it was blue - was so filthy that I couldn't make out the rear reg plate

Proper felt laaaaaaaad

alias no.9

pred racer wrote: »

Ive done 100 (indicated) in a jap import k10 micra 1.0 between athy and kilcullen
And believe me it had no more to give. The bloody 'omg ur doing over 60 ' beeper was still active.....what a racket:p

I believe it was only possible coz it was a red one:D

A lad i used to work with told us he had bought a punto gti, then reported all 10 of us to HR when we took a photo of his tax disc showing 1.0L and gave him dogs abuse about it.

The k10 Micra 1.0 had a top speed of 90mph from the factory and his was a beaten up 10 year old version. Puntos never came with a 1.0, they were 1108cc, 1242cc, 1370cc turbo, etc...

cojomo2

I got my car remapped, I was telling my bro in law that there no point in remapping a n/a car. He knows my car has a turbo (as does his) but got excited at the though of getting his car mapped as it had a twin turbo. It was an audi A4 1.8t which had 2 exhausts/turbos:D (one at either side)

darragh o meara

Best one Ive herd over the years is a lad doing a engine conversion but this guy wasn't happy with just plonking the engine in ( Something Im sure he could handle very easily ) but his guy wanted to put the head off a different model engine on his own to give it extra grunt ( again something that can be done ) Where it went wrong was the head he went and paid a lot of money for was from an engine with a timing belt whereas his engine he was gonna put it on had a timing chain. When I asked him what he was gonna do with the chain he told me he was just gonna wrap it up and put it to one side

Now Ive seen this type of conversion done on Minis where they put the twin cam head from a bmw bike on a mini engine but the kit to change the head to timing chain is very expensive.. THis poor lad however is still trying to figure out why the engine won't start

darragh o meara

I also had a Guard tell me that my Mk 1 Focus RS had Illegal seats, wheels and brake calipers and that he wanted me to put the standard stuff back on!! My RS was totally 100% standard, but no I was wrong and he was right... Took me a long time to get away from that fella..

pred racer

alias no.9 wrote: »

The k10 Micra 1.0 had a top speed of 90mph from the factory and his was a beaten up 10 year old version. Puntos never came with a 1.0, they were 1108cc, 1242cc, 1370cc turbo, etc...

I did say indicated:p but yeah he was defo talkin sh1te if he reckoned it would do any better than that.

On the punto, my bad, i just remember it wasnt anywhere near the size he claimed it was.

dgt

Shiloh Sticky Curl wrote: »

Love when kids go on about their dads car being the best in the world, its so cute and something I did myself as a kid.

Guilty but it was an Alfa Romeo 1.8 Twin Cam with a de dion rear transaxle, twin side draft delortos and inboard discs... and it had no exhaust!!! :pac: then again I was only 3...

Some of the strange and weird over the years I spent in secondary school...

"Is that petrol leaking from the radiator?"

"Sure _____ had 20 people in the back of the Xsara!!!"

"Are you not going to change the turbo aswell?" (air filter :rolleyes:)

"Wait, spark plugs, are they not very dangerous and need plugging into the mains? Where are the goggles? Why didn't you tell me you were going to be using such dangerous equipment?!!"

"I was racing the Polo and the Golf, we were doing over 140 mph"

"I did a wheelie in my mams Polo, you just keep reversing and putting it into first and keep doing it till the back lifts up"

"The mk 2 Punto is the safest car in the world, it has 5 stars and every other car since has been modelled off it for safety stuff"

"Intercooler, thats for cooling everyone inside, kinda like aircon yeah?"

"I'm sure I'll be ok. Sure I have a Trooper at home, I'll just use the wheels from that" (for a 1.4 Corolla :rolleyes:)

"Pollen filter? To stop insects and spiders getting in the car?"

There really are some stupid people out there... :rolleyes:

Plug

Lad in work.
1)Flipped an ambulance while drifting the 4 tonne machine
2)Turned a brand new 52 seater bus on its side into a pit.
3)Used to race on the motorway in the garda cars during a service and mess with the speed camera.
4)Drove an M3 back to Ireland from Germany in first gear, fecked gearbox.
5)Has not an arse in his trousers.
All complete bullsh!t except the last fact.

:rolleyes:

superstoner90

Maybe he wanted to sit at the "COOL" table at lunch.

An Ri rua

Henry Ford III wrote: »

What about people who judge a cars performance potential based solely on it's speedo........"She's clocked for 140mph"

I know !! I've driven 3 xantias, still have one, but was sorely tempted (actually mental obsessive about) getting a Xantia Activa. Because its a 2.0T 8V, it doesn't sound like much but actually its a ferocious engine when you take the torque into account. Then add on active suspension. A right nutter car even in stock form. Modded its a nightmare I believe. I've only driven standard and ....:D:D

An Ri rua

alias no.9 wrote: »

The k10 Micra 1.0 had a top speed of 90mph from the factory and his was a beaten up 10 year old version. Puntos never came with a 1.0, they were 1108cc, 1242cc, 1370cc turbo, etc...

Speedo off? GPS the only way to know. Mine's off by 8mph (Sagem, par for the course) although larger rims / tyres than spec'd for can also play with speedos, yes?

Drummerboy08

Not quite bluffing, but I handed a car over to a customer around a 2 years ago, a Diesel Fiesta.

I was pointing out some of the features, and then mentioned to remember that the car was diesel the next time she went to refuel.

"Diesel?" says she. "Isn't that only for, like, vans and trucks and stuff? Are you sure I can put that into a car?"

superstoner90

Drummerboy08 wrote: »

"Diesel?" says she. "Isn't that only for, like, vans and trucks and stuff? Are you sure I can put that into a car?"

HAHAHAHAHA how did you handle that situation?

pajero12

Really?? Is noone going to mention the evo?

Captain Slow IRL

I was at a friends garage a while back and had my 523 at the time, nothing special but a pretty clean car. This bucko rolls up in his '97 C Class with 18" AMG alloys on it. As it comes into view, there isn't a panel that isn't damaged or rusty - the 2 front wings were held in place with paint alone.

Anyhoo, waiting on the friend to have a chat with him, the merc driver and I get chatting about fuel consumption of his diesel vs. my petrol and the bullsh*t begins. He begins telling me what a clean car I'm looking at, how reliable it is and then goes on about how soft the beemer engines are. I'd pointed out the high mileage on mine and it was still going strong and he'd just brushed it off - mercs were better than bm's, fullstop! At this point, I've gotten a good look at the alloys, which have kissed a fair few kerbs in their live, when he claims "someone offered me a grand before for them":rolleyes:

Congrats, your alloys are worth twice the value of your car!

Guy:Incognito

An Ri rua wrote: »

I know !! I've driven 3 xantias, still have one, but was sorely tempted (actually mental obsessive about) getting a Xantia Activa. Because its a 2.0T 8V, it doesn't sound like much but actually its a ferocious engine when you take the torque into account. Then add on active suspension. A right nutter car even in stock form. Modded its a nightmare I believe. I've only driven standard and ....:D:D

The pick up on the Activa TCT on a motorway is great. Cruising at 70 (old money) bringing mine home from the uk and decided to overtake. Stuck the foot down in 5th and overtook only to look down and realise I was now doing 100 and climbing. My 1.8 Xantia will do 100 too, but not the same feeelign at all.

I have a 2nd one of those 2.0 TCT engines that I'm stripping to rebuild at the minute. Contemplating having the same engine in both

They arent made for explosive speed but they deliver the 150bhp well and evenly. It's just the right amount of power for the car imo.

RobAMerc

I think it's gas that people are going on about people talking through their ar8es about car on this forum of all fora. I mean how many times has the motors forum had people who just bought a new car with a "sport" decal come on here banging on about how big they are into cars and how great their car is compared to just about everything else till they buy something new? keyboard warriors aren't devoid of bullshout I'm afraid - this forum seems worse than most !