If men could have babies, would you?

later12

Say scientists discovered a way for men to carry a baby, via some sort of complex process like reverse ejaculation into a temporary reproductive site (don't worry about the science bit, this clearly isn't a biology thread)

Would you opt to carry a baby instead of your wife or girlfriend carrying it?

Would you feel less useful to the relationship if she were out earning money while you were attending birth classes?

Would you be scared about the labour pains? (I envisage that the baby would be pooped out)

Would you be worried about the impact of the pregnancy on your body?

Personally I wouldn't go for it, but I'd be interested to hear what other's think, and whether there's anything to be said for pregnancy as an experience.

Eric Cartman

dear god no, i wouldnt even put a woman through it

Guill

later10 wrote: »

Would you opt to carry a baby instead of your wife or girlfriend carrying it?
No, not natural

Would you feel less useful to the relationship if she were out earning money while you were attending birth classes?
Classes me arse, women have been havin babies for years,now, they should know what to do.

Would you be scared about the labour pains? (I envisage that the baby would be pooped out)
No

Would you be worried about the impact of the pregnancy on your body?
have you seen my body??

.

eth0

Too much pushing.

eth0

Eric Cartman wrote: »

dear god no, i wouldnt even put a woman through it

Same. I couldn't enjoy myself lobbing it in to her knowing the pain and suffering she'd be going through in 9 months time. I'd rather choke the chicken tbh

empacher

wow not really liking the image the op has created.

FunkZ

Definitely, just to prove to myself that a kick in the balls is way more painful.

orourkeda

f*ck no.

I couldnt be held responsible for bringing some little bastard into the world

orourkeda

later10 wrote: »

Say scientists discovered a way for men to carry a baby, via some sort of complex process like reverse ejaculation into a temporary reproductive site (don't worry about the science bit, this clearly isn't a biology thread)

Would you opt to carry a baby instead of your wife or girlfriend carrying it?

Would you feel less useful to the relationship if she were out earning money while you were attending birth classes?

Would you be scared about the labour pains? (I envisage that the baby would be pooped out)

Would you be worried about the impact of the pregnancy on your body?

Personally I wouldn't go for it, but I'd be interested to hear what other's think, and whether there's anything to be said for pregnancy as an experience.

Is that like backwanking?

Ave Sodalis

Erm... where would it come out? :eek:

FunkZ

sup_dude wrote: »

Erm... where would it come out?

The mouth obviously, the same way it is with women.

:pac:

Turtyturd

Nope, sometimes trying to squeeze out a small sh*t is painful enough I don't think I could manage a couple of Couric's.

WindSock

**** that. I'm not having some dude trap me in a relationship while getting up the damo. You can stick your child support too, you filthy slag.

*runs*

DonkeyStyle \o/

Depends... what hole does the baby come out of?

maxfresh

Nah i hate children :pac:

later12

DonkeyStyle \o/ wrote: »

Depends... what hole does the baby come out of?

As I said, I envisage a baby covered in blood and poop. Theoretically it would be expelled rectally.

Otherwise, try not to concern yourself too much with the science, the question is just hypothetical.

I must say I think it is pretty brave of women to get themselves up the duff.

Not sure I'd have the balls for it, myself.

eth0

later10 wrote: »

I must say I think it is pretty brave of women to get themselves up the duff.

Not really. It's like an Interrupt Service Routine on a microcontroller

They could be perfectly normal one minute and then "I want to push out a screaming child through my fanny and spend the next 30 years looking after it" and then back to normality. I just stand back and shake my head

shrewdness

I'll feel like I'm having one on Stephen's day after the previous 24 hours' eating.

StupidLikeAFox

I envisage that I'd head into work at 8am, take a half day and have the baby in the afternoon, be in the pub by 8.30pm, maybe take a long weekend and be back in work on the Tuesday.

I'd do it in half the time too. Women milk it tbh

later12

eth0 wrote: »

Not really. It's like an Interrupt Service Routine on a microcontroller

They could be perfectly normal one minute and then "I want to push out a screaming child through my fanny and spend the next 30 years looking after it" and then back to normality. I just stand back and shake my head

Yes, I did think of that.

I wonder if it's really bravery on a conscious level, or are they just stuck in a biochemical trance,so to speak, and not thinking clearly.

Surely nobody in their right mind would submit to the presumed agony of childbirth.

patwicklow

Having a good ****e is enough for me thanks.

DonkeyStyle \o/

later10 wrote: »

Theoretically it would be expelled rectally.

Uh, then no. Passing something the size of a baby would probably rupture your rectum and kill you, or at least leave you with some wicked anal fissures. Vaginas are built to take that kind of punishment.

later10 wrote: »

try not to concern yourself too much with the science

If you want people to volunteer for this project I think you need to be more forthcoming.
If you could make babies in the anus, why aren't there more pregnant gay men?
This isn't holding up to scientific scrutiny at all.

Spread

maxfresh wrote: »

Nah i hate children :pac:

Well I like them but could never eat a full one

Chuck Stone

Can you sell the baby?

holystungun9

eth0 wrote: »

Too much pushing.

I agree. I push people's buttons, I push my luck, but there is no way I would push a small creature through me hole.

mardybumbum

later10 wrote: »

Not sure I'd have the balls for it, myself.

I believe that not having balls is a requirement.

Sharpshooter

If men could have babies the population would get steadily smaller.:p

Man flu?:pac:

Sindri

I could give birth to a child but don't expect me to be sexually active afterwards. Or continent. Or able to walk.

massdebater

DonkeyStyle \o/ wrote: »

Depends... what hole does the baby come out of?

It would have to come out your jap's eye.

MagicSean

Hell yeah. C-section followed by maternity leave. Easy money.

Benicetomonty

If men could have children, abortion would be a sacrament.

bnt

If you're going to ask a guy to do something like that, the next question is going to be about the gory details. That's how we think - most of us, at least. It is one major way in which men differ from women, we naturally ask such questions before we start a project. So, because I've thought about how it might work in practice, I'm going to say an emphatic No. :eek:

seamus

later10 wrote: »

Say scientists discovered a way for men to carry a baby, via some sort of complex process like reverse ejaculation into a temporary reproductive site (don't worry about the science bit, this clearly isn't a biology thread)

The main problem would be that if the man opted to carry the baby, the process of baby-making would be a whole lot less fun for both parties.

Would you opt to carry a baby instead of your wife or girlfriend carrying it?

If it was a viable option whereby the risks to both me and the child were equal to a normal pregnancy and it didn't require ridiculously drastic surgery like removing half my intestines to make room, having breast implants or shaving down my hip bones, then I think I would be willing to flip a coin for it.

Would you feel less useful to the relationship if she were out earning money while you were attending birth classes?

Because pregnant women do nothing but sit around all day and attend the odd birth class?

Would you be scared about the labour pains? (I envisage that the baby would be pooped out)

Pooping out is not an option. Your rectum would never recover from the trauma. A vagina will. I'd be comfortable enough with a C-section though.

Would you be worried about the impact of the pregnancy on your body?

Probably not. A few stretch marks, a scar across my stomach. As a man, I'm not all that concerned about what I look like when I take my top off at the beach. Plus, body hair covers lots of these things.

Sky King

I'd become a surrogate and rent my box out to the highest bidder.

funk-you

Well I can already make sandwiches but why would I want to?

-Funk

JerryHandbag

Wouldn't fancy the breastfeeding part

Standard Toaster

Oh Heeeeelllllll no! Sure most men can't even put a new roll of toilet paper in the bathroom.

Duggy747

I have enough trouble getting fat shìtes out me, let alone a fecking baby.

Karona

I can only imagine the moaning if guys could get pregnant if you's are bad enough with man flu.

Odats

Don't mess with with Mother Nature.

As my Mammy said if men could give birth to babies there would never be a second.

Stiffler2

9 months off work with pay !
I'll have triplets please. ( 1 after the other )

mattjack

Do I get TITS ?

later12

Pooping out is not an option. Your rectum would never recover from the trauma. A vagina will.

As I said, try not to concern yourself with the science or the mechanics. This is not a biology thread. There is no mid-term on this.

seamus wrote: »

Because pregnant women do nothing but sit around all day and attend the odd birth class?

Don't forget attending their secret social welfare fraud circle

Stiffler2

dunno if I can stretch the japs eye that much !

bbam

Get onto the pill and keep her trying 24/7
Happy days

Chuck Stone

Benicetomonty wrote: »

If men could have children, abortion would be a sacrament.

This is so true.