The worst sex you have ever had with someone?

John Doe1 · 10-12-2011 3:43pm #1

I'm pretty much a god in bed but im sure some of you mere mortals have some stories:p

slavetothegrind · 10-12-2011 3:46pm

i wasn't impressed with your heavy breathing and inexperienced fumblings....

John Doe1 · 10-12-2011 3:48pm

slavetothegrind wrote: »

i wasn't impressed with your heavy breathing and inexperienced fumblings....

Take it back:p

Celly Smunt · 10-12-2011 3:48pm

I wasn't impressed by your ma.

Dotrel · 10-12-2011 3:49pm

I remember it well as it was my first time. I was inexperienced, spent most of the encounter fumbling around in the dark, pulling at clothes, kissing everything and just trying to get it over with. Afterward the priest said I was the best he'd ever had.

slavetothegrind · 10-12-2011 3:49pm

John Doe1 wrote: »

Take it back:p

I can't, you swallowed it!

charlemont · 10-12-2011 3:52pm

slavetothegrind wrote: »

I can't, you swallowed it!

Did you get your username from the porn film ?

Tea_Bag · 10-12-2011 3:55pm

she just lay there like a log. it was pretty boring so I just tried to get it over with.

John Doe1 · 10-12-2011 3:56pm

Tea_Bag wrote: »

she just lay there like a log. it was pretty boring so I just tried to get it over with.

Rohypnol will do that:)

rainbowdrop · 10-12-2011 3:57pm

Wrong Hole!Wrong Hole!Wrong Hole!

OWWW.......

wyndham · 10-12-2011 3:58pm

rainbowdrop wrote: »

Wrong Hole!Wrong Hole!Wrong Hole!

OWWW.......

He put it in your ear?

Ellis Dee · 10-12-2011 3:59pm

She just kept repeating baaa - baaa - baaa ---

;);)

Sky King · 10-12-2011 4:02pm

Ellis Dee wrote: »

She just kept repeating baaa - baaa - baaa --- ;);)

U a peedo?

Arawn · 10-12-2011 4:05pm

rainbowdrop wrote: »

Wrong Hole!Wrong Hole!Wrong Hole!

OWWW.......

maybe to you!

stupidusername · 10-12-2011 4:05pm

my first time was probably the worst. though it wasn't bad exactly, it was just weird. don't think i really fancied the guy, and i was way too drunk. and then he turned out to be a woeful prick.

Dotrel · 10-12-2011 4:08pm

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

I was doing this guy in the ass once (wearing protection, thank god) and it turned out he hadn't "cleaned out" properly. Long story short, it out to be an unintentional scat session. I shiver every time I think of it.

Did he leave a santorum on your bedsheets?

W.Shakes-Beer · 10-12-2011 4:21pm

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

I was doing this guy in the ass once (wearing protection, thank god) and it turned out he hadn't "cleaned out" properly. Long story short, it out to be an unintentional scat session. I shiver every time I think of it.

Shít buzz.

castletownman · 10-12-2011 4:30pm

I know a lad who was riding a girl when half ways through she goes "this is ****" and just got out of bed and left.*

*It wasn't me before ye ask.

Ellis Dee · 10-12-2011 4:33pm

Sky King wrote: »

U a peedo?

peedo? If you mean "paedo(phile)", certainly not.:)

What about you?;)

stupidusername · 10-12-2011 4:35pm

castletownman wrote: »

I know a lad who was riding a girl when half ways through she goes "this is ****" and just got out of bed and left.*

*It wasn't me before ye ask.

there'll be some along soon saying why didn't she do something she wanted to

wolfmoon87 · 10-12-2011 4:35pm

Condom getting stuck inside me. Happened twice. FFFFUUUU!!:mad:

MagicSean · 10-12-2011 4:36pm

Has to be the first time. Thrusted back to far and missed the re-entry at high speed.

Arawn · 10-12-2011 4:37pm

wolfmoon87 wrote: »

Condom getting stuck inside me. Happened twice. FFFFUUUU!!:mad:

I know a girl who had to fish out a guys prince albert piercing if it makes you feel any better!!

stupidusername · 10-12-2011 4:38pm

Arawn wrote: »

I know a girl who had to fish out a guys prince albert piercing if it makes you feel any better!!

:eek:

slavetothegrind · 10-12-2011 4:39pm

charlemont wrote: »

Did you get your username from the porn film ?

name and unrealistic expectations of durtiness of women in the leaba....:(

pragmatic1 · 10-12-2011 4:40pm

The time I took viagra and couldnt cum.

bradolf pittler · 10-12-2011 4:42pm

a friend of mine once bragged that he shagged a girl while she was on her period.his exact words were"the sheets looked like the japanese flag after it"

Captain McDuck · 10-12-2011 4:43pm

The time I fcuked a fat chick who though she was a skinny chick.

goose2005 · 10-12-2011 4:44pm

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

I was doing this guy in the ass once (wearing protection, thank god) and it turned out he hadn't "cleaned out" properly. Long story short, it out to be an unintentional scat session. I shiver every time I think of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIMWudFLsaY

Daroxtar · 10-12-2011 4:48pm

The time I mixed up the Viagra and the rohypnol. Some girl with an erect clit took me home from a club and took advantage of me but I cant remember the details

John Doe1 · 10-12-2011 4:57pm

Daroxtar wrote: »

The time I mixed up the Viagra and the rohypnol. Some girl with an erect clit took me home from a club and took advantage of me but I cant remember the details

certain details about this post make me doubtful

cruiser178 · 10-12-2011 4:57pm

Either the time I broke my virginity which was in a graveyard after school, with the school bike, I wondered afterwards is this what sex is all about, man that was crap. Inexperience eh.
Or the time I snapped my banjo string, FÚUUCCCK!!! that was painful, according to the "lady" who had many orgasms I might add :cool:, my face was a picture.

Pyr0 · 10-12-2011 5:05pm

wolfmoon87 wrote: »

Condom getting stuck inside me. Happened twice. FFFFUUUU!!:mad:

I just reach in and pull it out.

I'm a nice guy like that.

wolfmoon87 · 10-12-2011 5:18pm

Pyr0 wrote: »

I just reach in and pull it out.

I'm a nice guy like that.

Getting a fist stuck inside me. :pac:

Jen Pigs Fly · 10-12-2011 5:18pm

I stopped a lad mid way once, he was ****e.

I dont like it when they lean their whole weight on me, it's like I cant breathe and you're sweaty ....

Nodin · 10-12-2011 5:19pm

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

I stopped a lad mid way once, he was ****e.

I dont like it when they lean their whole weight on me, it's like I cant breathe and you're sweaty ....

Sweaty during sex? The dirty savage.....Did he mess up your hair as well?

Namlub · 10-12-2011 5:24pm

cruiser178 wrote: »

Either the time I broke my virginity which was in a graveyard after school, with the school bike, I wondered afterwards is this what sex is all about, man that was crap. Inexperience eh.
Or the time I snapped my banjo string, FÚUUCCCK!!! that was painful, according to the "lady" who had many orgasms I might add :cool:, my face was a picture.

Did you ever get it repaired?

John Doe1 · 10-12-2011 5:26pm

Namlub wrote: »

Did you ever get it repaired?

obviously he meant his hymen:rolleyes:

AnonoBoy · 10-12-2011 5:27pm

cruiser178 wrote: »

Either the time I broke my virginity which was in a graveyard after school, with the school bike, I wondered afterwards is this what sex is all about, man that was crap.

When you tried it with a human I bet your opinion on it changed, eh?

homerun_homer · 10-12-2011 5:28pm

First time was crap, last time wasn't great but the worst was this clingy girl i scored, who I tried to ditch on the night but couldn't get away from. She invited me back saying nothing would happen and I said I was going home regardless. She sorta begged. I was 6 months single and thought the ride might help but it was awful.

Everything about it and her was crap. Things you do to try move on. Same girl in the same pub came on to me last week when i was in Dublin. She asked if she knew me and I said no and lied about my name and quickly ran.

Ellis Dee · 10-12-2011 5:28pm

I suppose you all know the difference between a disaster and a catastrophe.:D

A disaster: the first time you can't get it up for the second time.:(
A catastrophe: the second time you can't get it up for the first time.:eek:

hondasam · 10-12-2011 5:29pm

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

I stopped a lad mid way once, he was ****e.

I dont like it when they lean their whole weight on me, it's like I cant breathe and you're sweaty ....

You did switch positions? if you don't sweat your not doing it right.

Arawn · 10-12-2011 5:31pm

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

I stopped a lad mid way once, he was ****e.

I dont like it when they lean their whole weight on me, it's like I cant breathe and you're sweaty ....

the get on top lazy wagon

efb · 10-12-2011 5:34pm

Hot guy in France- yawn
Best sex bj from a guy in his car- awesome!

pragmatic1 · 10-12-2011 5:37pm

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

I stopped a lad mid way once, he was ****e.

I dont like it when they lean their whole weight on me, it's like I cant breathe and you're sweaty ....

You dont sound like you'd be the best in bed yourself love.

Jimoslimos · 10-12-2011 5:40pm

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

I stopped a lad mid way once, he was ****e.

I dont like it when they lean their whole weight on me, it's like I cant breathe and you're sweaty ....

Erotic Asphyxiation? Kinky girl you!

Snowie · 10-12-2011 5:41pm

wolfmoon87 wrote: »

Condom getting stuck inside me. Happened twice. FFFFUUUU!!:mad:

would you like sound effects to go with that :pac:

Eve_Dublin · 10-12-2011 5:47pm

castletownman wrote: »

I know a lad who was riding a girl when half ways through she goes "this is ****" and just got out of bed and left.*

*It wasn't me before ye ask.

Eh....that really might have been me

castletownman · 10-12-2011 5:49pm

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Eh....that really might have been me

You didn't frequent Ranelagh circa 2008?

Snowie · 10-12-2011 5:50pm

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Eh....that really might have been me

you hedonistic bitch :pac::cool:

Eve_Dublin · 10-12-2011 5:52pm

castletownman wrote: »

You didn't frequent Ranelagh circa 2008?

Balbriggan 2002. Different wench then...

The worst sex you have ever had with someone?

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