The worst sex you have ever had with someone?

John Doe1

I'm pretty much a god in bed but im sure some of you mere mortals have some stories:p

slavetothegrind

i wasn't impressed with your heavy breathing and inexperienced fumblings....

John Doe1

slavetothegrind wrote: »

i wasn't impressed with your heavy breathing and inexperienced fumblings....

Take it back:p

Celly Smunt

I wasn't impressed by your ma.

Dotrel

I remember it well as it was my first time. I was inexperienced, spent most of the encounter fumbling around in the dark, pulling at clothes, kissing everything and just trying to get it over with. Afterward the priest said I was the best he'd ever had.

slavetothegrind

John Doe1 wrote: »

Take it back:p

I can't, you swallowed it!

charlemont

slavetothegrind wrote: »

I can't, you swallowed it!

Did you get your username from the porn film ?

Tea_Bag

she just lay there like a log. it was pretty boring so I just tried to get it over with.

John Doe1

Tea_Bag wrote: »

she just lay there like a log. it was pretty boring so I just tried to get it over with.

Rohypnol will do that:)

rainbowdrop

Wrong Hole!Wrong Hole!Wrong Hole!

OWWW.......

wyndham

rainbowdrop wrote: »

Wrong Hole!Wrong Hole!Wrong Hole!

OWWW.......

He put it in your ear?

Ellis Dee

She just kept repeating baaa - baaa - baaa --- ;);)

Sky King

Ellis Dee wrote: »

She just kept repeating baaa - baaa - baaa --- ;);)

U a peedo?

Arawn

rainbowdrop wrote: »

Wrong Hole!Wrong Hole!Wrong Hole!

OWWW.......

maybe to you!

stupidusername

my first time was probably the worst. though it wasn't bad exactly, it was just weird. don't think i really fancied the guy, and i was way too drunk. and then he turned out to be a woeful prick.

Dotrel

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

I was doing this guy in the ass once (wearing protection, thank god) and it turned out he hadn't "cleaned out" properly. Long story short, it out to be an unintentional scat session. I shiver every time I think of it.

Did he leave a santorum on your bedsheets?

W.Shakes-Beer

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

I was doing this guy in the ass once (wearing protection, thank god) and it turned out he hadn't "cleaned out" properly. Long story short, it out to be an unintentional scat session. I shiver every time I think of it.

Shít buzz.

castletownman

I know a lad who was riding a girl when half ways through she goes "this is ****" and just got out of bed and left.*


*It wasn't me before ye ask.

Ellis Dee

Sky King wrote: »

U a peedo?

peedo? If you mean "paedo(phile)", certainly not.:)

What about you?;)

wolfmoon87

Condom getting stuck inside me. Happened twice. FFFFUUUU!!:mad:

stupidusername

castletownman wrote: »

I know a lad who was riding a girl when half ways through she goes "this is ****" and just got out of bed and left.*


*It wasn't me before ye ask.

there'll be some along soon saying why didn't she do something she wanted to

MagicSean

Has to be the first time. Thrusted back to far and missed the re-entry at high speed.

Arawn

wolfmoon87 wrote: »

Condom getting stuck inside me. Happened twice. FFFFUUUU!!:mad:

I know a girl who had to fish out a guys prince albert piercing if it makes you feel any better!!

stupidusername

Arawn wrote: »

I know a girl who had to fish out a guys prince albert piercing if it makes you feel any better!!

:eek:

slavetothegrind

charlemont wrote: »

Did you get your username from the porn film ?

name and unrealistic expectations of durtiness of women in the leaba....:(

pragmatic1

The time I took viagra and couldnt cum.

bradolf pittler

a friend of mine once bragged that he shagged a girl while she was on her period.his exact words were"the sheets looked like the japanese flag after it"

Captain McDuck

The time I fcuked a fat chick who though she was a skinny chick.

goose2005

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

I was doing this guy in the ass once (wearing protection, thank god) and it turned out he hadn't "cleaned out" properly. Long story short, it out to be an unintentional scat session. I shiver every time I think of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIMWudFLsaY

Daroxtar

The time I mixed up the Viagra and the rohypnol. Some girl with an erect clit took me home from a club and took advantage of me but I cant remember the details

John Doe1

Daroxtar wrote: »

The time I mixed up the Viagra and the rohypnol. Some girl with an erect clit took me home from a club and took advantage of me but I cant remember the details

certain details about this post make me doubtful

cruiser178

Either the time I broke my virginity which was in a graveyard after school, with the school bike, I wondered afterwards is this what sex is all about, man that was crap. Inexperience eh.
Or the time I snapped my banjo string, FÚUUCCCK!!! that was painful, according to the "lady" who had many orgasms I might add :cool:, my face was a picture.

Pyr0

wolfmoon87 wrote: »

Condom getting stuck inside me. Happened twice. FFFFUUUU!!:mad:

I just reach in and pull it out.

I'm a nice guy like that.

wolfmoon87

Pyr0 wrote: »

I just reach in and pull it out.

I'm a nice guy like that.

Getting a fist stuck inside me. :pac:

Jen Pigs Fly

I stopped a lad mid way once, he was ****e.

I dont like it when they lean their whole weight on me, it's like I cant breathe and you're sweaty ....

Nodin

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

I stopped a lad mid way once, he was ****e.

I dont like it when they lean their whole weight on me, it's like I cant breathe and you're sweaty ....

Sweaty during sex? The dirty savage.....Did he mess up your hair as well?

Namlub

cruiser178 wrote: »

Either the time I broke my virginity which was in a graveyard after school, with the school bike, I wondered afterwards is this what sex is all about, man that was crap. Inexperience eh.
Or the time I snapped my banjo string, FÚUUCCCK!!! that was painful, according to the "lady" who had many orgasms I might add :cool:, my face was a picture.

Did you ever get it repaired?

John Doe1

Namlub wrote: »

Did you ever get it repaired?

obviously he meant his hymen:rolleyes:

AnonoBoy

cruiser178 wrote: »

Either the time I broke my virginity which was in a graveyard after school, with the school bike, I wondered afterwards is this what sex is all about, man that was crap.

When you tried it with a human I bet your opinion on it changed, eh?

homerun_homer

First time was crap, last time wasn't great but the worst was this clingy girl i scored, who I tried to ditch on the night but couldn't get away from. She invited me back saying nothing would happen and I said I was going home regardless. She sorta begged. I was 6 months single and thought the ride might help but it was awful.

Everything about it and her was crap. Things you do to try move on. Same girl in the same pub came on to me last week when i was in Dublin. She asked if she knew me and I said no and lied about my name and quickly ran.

Ellis Dee

I suppose you all know the difference between a disaster and a catastrophe.:D

A disaster: the first time you can't get it up for the second time.:(
A catastrophe: the second time you can't get it up for the first time.:eek:

hondasam

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

I stopped a lad mid way once, he was ****e.

I dont like it when they lean their whole weight on me, it's like I cant breathe and you're sweaty ....

You did switch positions? if you don't sweat your not doing it right.

Arawn

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

I stopped a lad mid way once, he was ****e.

I dont like it when they lean their whole weight on me, it's like I cant breathe and you're sweaty ....

the get on top lazy wagon

efb

Hot guy in France- yawn
Best sex bj from a guy in his car- awesome!

pragmatic1

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

I stopped a lad mid way once, he was ****e.

I dont like it when they lean their whole weight on me, it's like I cant breathe and you're sweaty ....

You dont sound like you'd be the best in bed yourself love.

Jimoslimos

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

I stopped a lad mid way once, he was ****e.

I dont like it when they lean their whole weight on me, it's like I cant breathe and you're sweaty ....

Erotic Asphyxiation? Kinky girl you!

Snowie

wolfmoon87 wrote: »

Condom getting stuck inside me. Happened twice. FFFFUUUU!!:mad:

would you like sound effects to go with that :pac:

Eve_Dublin

castletownman wrote: »

I know a lad who was riding a girl when half ways through she goes "this is ****" and just got out of bed and left.*


*It wasn't me before ye ask.

Eh....that really might have been me

castletownman

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Eh....that really might have been me

You didn't frequent Ranelagh circa 2008?

Snowie

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Eh....that really might have been me

you hedonistic bitch :pac::cool:

Eve_Dublin

castletownman wrote: »

You didn't frequent Ranelagh circa 2008?

Balbriggan 2002. Different wench then...