When do you offer to help a person change a wheel on their car?

kiwipower

Last night I was in the position of having to changing the wheel on my car.
I was in the grounds of a busy petrol station.
I was on my own.

Now I am more than capable of changing a wheel myself.
In the time it took me to change the wheel not one person stopped to ask if I could use a hand.

Loads of people filling their cars where watching me change the tyre. As folks drove out of the forecourt, many folk even slowed to a stop to have a better rubberneck at my car and me.

This got me thinking..

When would people stop to offer help to someone changing a wheel?
If you wouldn’t stop why wouldn’t you?

Owen

I usually do. The only time I wouldn't is if someone looks clearly like they've done it before and would be insulted if I asked.

colm_mcm

I don't do it on the motorway, that's about the only thing that'd stop me. Usually you'd know if someone needs help.

SV

I'll help if it's a woman.
A hot woman.
And if she has half the work done.

Someone changing a wheel in a garage forecourt wouldn't need much help me thinks, as you said you are well able to do so, it's not a two person job, unless the person was a lady or a clueless chap I wouldn't bother offering assistance.

I've offered roadside assistance to three people in the last month so I wouldn't class myself as being unhelpful.

bcmf

I stopped to help a fellow (elderly)Taxi driver one night change a flat. It was a Passat and whatever way the nuts worked he couldn't figure it out. I changed for him in less then 10mns and the fooker just jumped in his car and drove off Not even an offer of a cloth to wipe my hands or a 'Thanks for your help'.
Miserable fook. He is a local and if I see him stuck again he can go fook himself.

helimachoptor

tbh i've stopped a good few times but always for a woman and more often than not its because my OH gets me to stop.

But i've stopped a few times by myself to help tbh not one woman i've come across knows how to change a tyre.

The last one was on road to Mayo, we were on a ****ty road and there's me jacking up the car while others are zipping past me while my OH and the other woman are in my car cos its too cold to be just standing there :mad:

stimpson

SV wrote: »

I'll help if it's a woman.
A hot woman.
And if she has half the work done.

Beat me to it. Last time I stopped was for a hot young lady. And I was single at the time.

If someone asked me if I needed help they would be threatened with a wheel brace.

no1beemerfan

I helped a woman (and her boyfriend, who was useless) in a filling station a year or so ago and never got a word of thanks. Would still help again though.

pippip

I'd offer to help if they appeared to be scratching their head with a sort of what's the f*#ks a car jack look on their face!!!

Fey!

Like most before me, if the person looks like they know what they're doing I'll leave them be. Or if there are already 3 people or more there.

Other than that I'll stop and see if I can help.

mickey mac

As a general rule I don't help anyone change a wheel, cause I rekon it's part of operating a car, similar to re-fueling or re-filling wash wiper fluid, checking oil levels etc.
The one and only time I changed a wheel for someone else was when I seen an elderly lady (in her 80's) with a flat tyre, in fairness to her she had the jack and brace out and was attempting the job without seeking assistance.
And she did thank me! before driving off.

HeidiHeidi

I got a puncture a few years ago late at night in the middle of nowhere in north Donegal. Pulled into the edge of a driveway, put on my hi vis jacket (ooooh, get me!). Emptied the contents of the boot onto the road, jacked the car up, got the wheel off, got the spare out. In all that time not one passing car even slowed to see if I needed or wanted a hand. On the contrary they almost put me in the ditch a few times the speed they went by. I was really surprised as up there they're the friendliest people ever, normally. Obviously not inclined to give a digout to a damsel in (sort of) distress though! Turned out I did need a hand getting the new wheel on, but my brother was nearby and came up trumps. So I'd always offer to help after that.

coylemj

kiwipower wrote: »

In the time it took me to change the wheel not one person stopped to ask if I could use a hand.

It would help put your situation in context if you could state (in any vague way you please) what type of individual you are - male/female, young/old ??

Pointing out that nobody offerred to assist you doesn't really mean much if we don't know if you match the profile of someone who could expect an offer of help from a Good Samaritan.

kiwipower wrote: »

Now I am more than capable of changing a wheel myself.

So why did you deem it noteworthy that nobody came to your assistance?

working fool

Generally speaking I stop
Unless its a bloke who looks like he's on top of the job and he'd. be offended by help .
I stopped once to help a woman in a BMW and she was totally offended
" do u think coz I'm a woman I can't change a tyre " ?????
45 mins later on my way back from town she was still there pondering the complex puzzle that is wheel locks !
I rolled down d window and shouted
GIRL POWER Lol

kiwipower

Interesting responses.

While I was capable of changing the wheel myself in this instance, I have had trouble previously where I stopped to help a group of girls on the side of a motorway at 4am. The wheel nuts had been tightened to an extent that even jumping on the wheel brace I could not loosen them. They must have been tightened to the last with a pneumatic drill.

While, after about 45min I was able to change the wheel myself last night, and it maybe a one-person job, a second set of hands would have been helpful. I still had to stand on the brace to get the nuts to loosen, and struggled to be strong enough to hold the wheel in place as I got the first nut back in.

Myself I would (and have) stop for a woman or group of women, but I would not (usually) stop for a lad, particularly at night or in isolated locations. Only because I happen to be a female. (And IMO a hot woman to boot! )

I just thought it was something else the number of Commercial Vans that pulled up in front of me, to stare out the window joking with their passenger, as I was standing on the brace, swearing, and didn’t even think to lower the window and call out an "Are you alright there?"

I purposefully did not mention my gender earlier, as I don’t think that just because Im female that I needed to be rescued. The fact I was a person on my own taking a long time to carry out a simple job, it would have been nice if a fellow citizen had offered a helping hand instead of just staring!

HeidiHeidi

coylemj wrote: »

It would help put your situation in context if you could state (in any vague way you please) what type of individual you are - male/female, young/old ??

Pointing out that nobody offerred to assist you doesn't really mean much if we don't know if you match the profile of someone who could expect an offer of help from a Good Samaritan.



So why did you deem it noteworthy that nobody came to your assistance?

I'm female, 30s (was then, sadly no more), possibly looked well able for the job but given the dark/country road location any help to speed up the job wouldve been appreciated. I'd never ever be snippy about an offer of help!

Voodoomelon

working fool wrote: »

I rolled down d window and shouted
GIRL POWER Lol

I laughed 10 seconds solid at that image, brilliant!

Ardennes1944

ive never stopped to help someone change a tyre, because i dont think ive ever seen someone trying!
one night on my way home at about 1am, a corolla was stopped near the crest of Forge Hill, stopped and asked did they want help....in the end myself and the corolla owners father had to push the feckin thing the last 20 yards up to crest of the hill on the starter motor, no mean feat!

cyrusdvirus

i've stopped three times

Once to help a middle aged woman on the M7 in a Northern reg renault, hazards on and totally confused look on her face as she stared at the wheel. Saw her as i was approaching her, so had already slowed down. I changed the wheel and she couldn't have been nicer. She even tried giving me a tenner!!

Second time was a fairly hot looking professional woman in a Merc on the way up to the M50 from Dundrum SC. She'd run out of fuel in her boss's car, so just looped back to the tesco and threw5 litres into a jerry can i keep in the car. 2 days later a thank you letter arrives into the office. Which was nice.

3rd time gives me the shivers. Approaching Cork, just south of Watergrasshill, and another girl out of fuel, and barely a jot of energy in her mobile. So i doubled back to the nearest petrol station got the fuel and got her sorted. While we were on the way to the station she asked could she ring her boss and her mum to let them know she was going to be late for work and ok respectively. Of course i said no problem and thought nothing more of it. 7pm that evening i got a call from her mum asking to speak to her as she had not been in contact all day.... Put the feckin fear into me i can tell ya! I texted the mother the next day to ask if there had been any word and she said oh yeah, she came in the door about 10 minutes after i phoned you.... Not a fecking word to me though!!

kiwipower

kiwipower wrote: »

..................
Now I am more than capable of changing a wheel myself. ........................

kiwipower wrote: »

...............While, after about 45min I was able to change the wheel myself last night, and it maybe a one-person job, a second set of hands would have been helpful. .....................

It sounds like you are not more than capable really

Sort of like me saying I am more than capable of running a marathon, in eight to 10 hours.

kiwipower

RoverJames wrote: »

It sounds like you are not more than capable really

Sort of like me saying I am more than capable of running a marathon, in eight to 10 hours.

I changed the tyre. You finished the marathon.

Sounds like we are both capable.

Fiona

I know how to get the wheel off alright but jacking points on the car is a different story

I should really learn though it can't be that hard!

kiwipower

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

I'm female, 30s (was then, sadly no more), possibly looked well able for the job but given the dark/country road location any help to speed up the job wouldve been appreciated. I'd never ever be snippy about an offer of help!

I agree with you completely!

Id say other than my language and dancing on the brace I probably looked able. Its not about being able to do the job but being able to get it done quickly, especially in the arctic conditions of the North West at present!

HeidiHeidi

kiwipower wrote: »

I agree with you completely!

Id say other than my language and dancing on the brace I probably looked able. Its not about being able to do the job but being able to get it done quickly, especially in the arctic conditions of the North West at present!

Like I say, I was really surprised as up that end of the country they're incredibly friendly and helpful! When I put the car off the road on an ice slick at the back of Muckish last winter (don't ask what I was doing there!) I had a veritable posse pushing/pulling/dragging/bouncing trying to get it out of the ditch. One even rang his mate who had a tractor who said he'd be out in 20 mins to pull us out. Where would you get it!

But at 11 at night no-one seemed interested in helping to change a wheel.....

As I said earlier, I'd never EVER be rude to someone offering help - women who get on their high horses do us all a disservice IMHO. A polite "nah, I'm grand thanks" does the job just fine

kiwipower

mrs crilly wrote: »

I know how to get the wheel off alright but jacking points on the car is a different story

I should really learn though it can't be that hard!

I find the Hard bit comes into when it’s a case of how Hard have the nuts been tightened!

I count myself extremely fortunate that while these nuts where tight they had not been completely welded to the bolt by a pneumatic drill like they use in tyre shops. (Incidentally guidelines are that nuts should be finished by hand not by the drill, but speed etc)

Usually I save the hassle of having to change a tire on the side of a busy road on a dark rainy wet night and carry a can of tyre expander foam, in the boot next to my flashlight, first aid kit, high visibility jacket, can of WD40, spare light bulbs, set of Alan keys, tyre pressure gauge and window cleaner. Just realised the other day I also need a spare screw driver to go with the bulbs!

Only this time the can of foam was not an option, as I had just been run of the road by an ass under-passing me, cutting me off and breaking severely, causing me to have to emergency break to avoid them, bursting a rim as I slid into the curbing beside the road. The #/*@ individual then just speed off! And before someone asks why I was not in the Left lane, I was trying to turn right at a roundabout, for the N17 from Sligo, just like the “gentleman” who cut me up.

Anan1

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

Like I say, I was really surprised as up that end of the country they're incredibly friendly and helpful! When I put the car off the road on an ice slick at the back of Muckish last winter (don't ask what I was doing there!) I had a veritable posse pushing/pulling/dragging/bouncing trying to get it out of the ditch. One even rang his mate who had a tractor who said he'd be out in 20 mins to pull us out. Where would you get it!

But at 11 at night no-one seemed interested in helping to change a wheel.....

As I said earlier, I'd never EVER be rude to someone offering help - women who get on their high horses do us all a disservice IMHO. A polite "nah, I'm grand thanks" does the job just fine

I'd help someone who'd crashed a lot quicker than i'd help them change a wheel. IMO it's not reasonable to expect them to be able to get their car out of a ditch alone, whereas any driver should be able to change a wheel. That said, wheels are getting bigger & heavier all the time, so I feel for you there. A telescopic wrench and a pair of gloves are good things to have in the boot.:)

kiwipower

Anan1 wrote: »

I'd help someone who'd crashed a lot quicker than i'd help them change a wheel. IMO it's not reasonable to expect them to be able to get their car out of a ditch alone, whereas any driver should be able to change a wheel. That said, wheels are getting bigger & heavier all the time, so I feel for you there. A telescopic wrench and a pair of gloves are good things to have in the boot.:)

Anan1 & RoverJames,
Would you expect someone with special needs, (like in a wheelchair) to be able to change a wheel themselves?

Matt Simis

Anan1 wrote: »

A telescopic wrench and a pair of gloves are good things to have in the boot.:)

Was about to suggest this, far too much talk of jumping on wheel braces in this thread.

kiwipower wrote: »

Anan1 & RoverJames,
Would you expect someone with special needs, (like in a wheelchair) to be able to change a wheel themselves?

Whats the relevance? Such drivers are in such a minority that without a special callout as you have done, they do not count as the status quo.

PS: Stop typing in black text, its invisible on some of the Boards themes.

kiwipower

kiwipower wrote: »

Anan1 & RoverJames,
Would you expect someone with special needs, (like in a wheelchair) to be able to change a wheel themselves?

No, but they wouldn't go around saying they are more than capable of doing so. You did
I said in my first post on this thread I have helped or offered three people assistance in the last month.

kiwipower wrote: »

.................
While, after about 45min I was able to change the wheel myself last night............................ I happen to be a female. (And IMO a hot woman to boot! )........................

I'm struggling to believe that tbh.

Wicklowrider

I'd pity anyone who is insulted by an offer of help. Had a puncture on a bicycle one morning going to work and a little old dear asked me could she help - that was years ago and I still feel good when I think of it.

Back in the '80's I was into running and was training in the Phoenix Park.
The type of training I was doing involved intervals of hard and easy efforts.
Theres stone markers marking 400 yds up the main path through the park and I was training between 2 of these. A car pulled in with a flat. Driver was an attractive young woman and there was an infant in the car. I offered to change it but she said she'd manage but she sounded really stressed. So I continued training and looking back she was probably a bit worried to see me run up and down past her several times- must have looked really dodgy! She couldn't crack the nuts and I asked again could I help. She let me this time and I changed the wheel easily. Sad old world when someone in trouble is scared when a stranger offers help but its understandable.

Anan1

kiwipower wrote: »

Anan1 & RoverJames,
Would you expect someone with special needs, (like in a wheelchair) to be able to change a wheel themselves?

?? How could anyone change a wheel from a wheelchair?

stimpson

Anan1 wrote: »

?? How could anyone change a wheel from a wheelchair?

Do wheelchairs even come with spare wheels?

mondeo

I'll level with you here on this one, the only time I have ever stopped to help someone change their wheel was because they were an attractive female.

Fiona

kiwipower wrote: »

I find the Hard bit comes into when it’s a case of how Hard have the nuts been tightened!

Usually I save the hassle of having to change a tire on the side of a busy road on a dark rainy wet night and carry a can of tyre expander foam, in the boot next to my flashlight, first aid kit, high visibility jacket, can of WD40, spare light bulbs, set of Alan keys, tyre pressure gauge and window cleaner.

I hate when my Dad has been at my car he always tightens the coolant and oil caps way to tight does my head in!!

Your prepared anyway! I have oil / coolant / first aid kit and cleaning products in my boot, you list has given me food for thought though thanks for that

kiwipower

mrs crilly wrote: »

I hate when my Dad has been at my car he always tightens the coolant and oil caps way to tight does my head in!!

Your prepared anyway! I have oil / coolant / first aid kit and cleaning products in my boot, you list has given me food for thought though thanks for that

Only problem is there is usually 2suitcases a laptop 4boxes of glass recycling, hurls, rugby balls, swimming bag, a nephew or niece or two all stopping me getting to the vital stuff!

I use to carry oil when I was about 18 had a Diesel auto nissan pulsar 1.7litre kept leaking oil like mad. Took a months log book before my dad understood that I was putting a litre of oil in for every 4hours drive time. (he kept saying diesels burn oil!) Turns out there was no rear mains seal after the crank shaft and pully had been drilled and rebuilt. Im sure that some boardies would have been able to fix that on the side of the road all by themselves.

Anan1

kiwipower wrote: »

Im sure that some boardies would have been able to fix that on the side of the road all by themselves.

If you're not comfortable changing a wheel yourself then you could always get an AA membership, or drive a car with run flats. Expecting a stranger to do it for you is, IMO, just taking the p1ss.

kiwipower

Matt Simis wrote: »

Whats the relevance? Such drivers are in such a minority that without a special callout as you have done, they do not count as the status quo.

PS: Stop typing in black text, its invisible on some of the Boards themes.

Appologies about the text type dont know how thats happening computer is going a bit ga ga.

As for relevance the two posters are making the point that all drivers should be able to change a tyre so there for they can justify not offering help to anyone.

As for special callout, I did not make a callout I done the job myself just took longer than I would like. As they say many hands make light work! Also why should a person need a special callout when there are so many other people around that can change a tyre in 10minutes that could be a kind citizen and just help out a fellow human being/neighbour?

Anan1

kiwipower wrote: »

Also why should a person need a special callout when there are so many other people around that can change a tyre in 10minutes that could be a kind citizen and just help out a fellow human being/neighbour?

For exactly the same reasons that I don't expect you to mow my lawn. Because it's your car, and your responsibility.

corktina

i'm not able for hot women anymore so I'm usually on the lookout for an Old one smelling of wee.

Matt Simis

kiwipower wrote: »

As for special callout, I did not make a callout I done the job myself just took longer than I would like. As they say many hands make light work! Also why should a person need a special callout when there are so many other people around that can change a tyre in 10minutes that could be a kind citizen and just help out a fellow human being/neighbour?

Umm, the "special callout" Im referring to was you bringing disabled people into the thread to try to debunk a generalist but valid statement.

Personally I dont think I have helped anyone with a wheel, but have helped them with other things. I have however had a flat battery and other issues and had hundreds of co-workers (though not ones I knew) walk by me in the carpark, staring directly at me but eager to get into their cars and close their doors. I generally plan not to need help and wouldnt really consider changing a wheel a two person job. The other person mainly just hands tools to the changer..

What skills or abilities do all these "10 min" wheel changers about have that you dont btw? Who are these people?

RoverJames

RoverJames wrote: »

Someone changing a wheel in a garage forecourt wouldn't need much help me thinks, as you said you are well able to do so, it's not a two person job, unless the person was a lady or a clueless chap I wouldn't bother offering assistance.

I've offered roadside assistance to three people in the last month so I wouldn't class myself as being unhelpful.

kiwipower wrote: »

....................
As for relevance the two posters are making the point that all drivers should be able to change a tyre so there for they can justify not offering help to anyone. ......................

I cannot see your point at all, you reckon you are more than capable of changing a tyre yourself, yet obviously aren't as it took you 45mins. I said in my first post in this thread that I would offer to help a lady or someone who was obviously clueless.

Even though you are more than capable you are put out as no one helped you :rolleyes:

Paparazzo

SV wrote: »

I'll help if it's a woman.
A hot woman.
And if she has half the work done.

Yep, the more work she has done, the closer it is to the "thank you" sex in the back of her car afterwards

corktina

corktina wrote: »

.............. I'm usually on the lookout for an Old one smelling of wee.

One of them goes into the local chipper every Friday

sean1141

i once changed a wheel for two youngish girls on a roundabout one evening. they had no clue where the tools were in the car, let alone how to change it. i got a shock myself when i went to take off the hubcap as some clown thougth 3 big half inch wide cable ties were needed to hold on the hubcap. there was no flat peice on the end of the wheel brace to try brake them off either. lucky enough one of them smoked and i used her lighter to burn them off!!

so if you have a car with hubcaps that are cable tied on carry a stanly knife etc in your spare wheel tool kit

KamiKazi

Only if it's a woman that looks like they haven't a hope of changing it themselves.

usually get an odd lock pulling up on a motorbike to help change a car wheel though (only ride a bike, don't own a car).

LUNA..

I have only had to try and change a wheel once by the side of the road. An easter Sunday 7am, not many cars out. I knew how to do it, but the nuts were so tight that there was no way of me getting them off. So rather than wait on someone to stop and offer help, I just started waving at cars going by so they'd know I needed help. Eventually an old guy in a truck stopped and even he had trouble getting the nuts off. When he had put the spare on for me, I offered him €5 to get a pint (it was all I had in my purse) he wouldn't take it!

Maybe OP you didn't look like you were looking for help. Also, when it's a man stopping to help a woman, it can easily turn into a "do you think I can't do this because I'm a woman' thing, which is off putting for men.

Anyway, moral of the story is, yes you should know how to do it if you own a car. But, sometimes people just can't get the nuts off!

C4Kid

Would you not try and loosen them a little at home and re-tighten yourself to a sufficent torque. It should be almost certain when the time comes hopefully you know they will come off somewhat quickly.

My example, When getting a puncture repaired they tightened the wheel with the gun and then by hand (their bar had 3 times the leverage)and I could see that I'd have a hell of a time removing them. Anyways, I got home and loosened them and re-tightened sufficently so they would come off a little easier when stuck on the roadside.They're self-tightening nuts also. More often then not they don't need to be overtightened anyway.

patrickc

I helped a man in his 60's sometime last year, was late at night on a dark road and his wife was standing there looking at him, an old e class he had. he didnt really want help but said he had a bad back, helped and he was delighted.

he said theres a few quid buy yourself a pint I didnt want it , but he insisted, threw it my pocket and we went on our way, looked at the money and was like €20 ..dont know if he intended to give me €20 or couldn't see what note what what in the dark. gentleman he was.

looksee

Someone helped me change a tyre a while ago, I was very glad for the help as I would not have been able to do it myself. I do not look helpless, (and I do know how to change a tyre) but in fact I don't have a lot of strength and have arthritis in my hands. I do have a call out insurance - which I have used - but on this occasion the passer by stopped and helped me while I was looking at the problem. You do not have to be in a wheelchair to be disabled when it comes to heavy jobs.

I have been very careless in not getting organised though, and I will make sure to have some of that pump-in tyre filler and a telescopic wheel brace.

5500

I'll always stop if someone looks like they need a hand or there scatching their head, Ive lost count of the amount of people I've jump started or changed a wheel for but the one time I was stuck in the snow last year countless people drove by me licking their windows at me hand shoveling the car out!

In saying that I helped an old woman before who was driving along oblivious to the pieces of tyre flying off the rim of her car, after changing the wheel she just jumped back into her yaris and shot off. A week later I won 1500 on the lotto which I do never do so Karma came back that time!