Depression - do you understand it?

horsemeat

This Gary Speed thing has really just got me wondering.

Like I just don't understand depression at all.

I know they have loss of neurotransmitters (amongst other theories).

But I just don't understand it.

Like how can someone be happy as larry on tv one day and then kill themselves a few hours later.

And I read Stan collymores tweet and it just doesnt make sense to me, I don't understand. It just seems so alien to me that for no reason people will randomly start to feel down in the dumps for weeks/months on end.

starbelgrade

horsemeat wrote: »

Like I just don't get depression at all.

Consider yourself lucky then, but always remain compassionate for others.

El Weirdo

starbelgrade wrote: »

Consider yourself lucky then, but always remain compassionate for others.

^This. A thousand times this.

Unfortunately it takes something like what happened to Gary Speed for people to sit up and take notice.

It is real and it can happen to anybody.

Anybody.

amacca

horsemeat wrote: »

It just seems so alien to me that for no reason people will randomly start to feel down in the dumps for weeks/months on end.

Are you in fact human?

policarp

horsemeat wrote: »

This Gary Speed thing has really just got me wondering.

Like I just don't get depression at all.

I know they have loss of neurotransmitters (amongst other theories).

But I just don't get it.

Like how can someone be happy as larry on tv one day and then kill themselves a few hours later.

And I read Stan collymores tweet and I just don't get it, I don't understand. It just seems so alien to me that for no reason people will randomly start to feel down in the dumps for weeks/months on end.

There is a big thread on this in AH at the moment. . .

Johro

horsemeat wrote: »

This Gary Speed thing has really just got me wondering.

Like I just don't get depression at all.

I know they have loss of neurotransmitters (amongst other theories).

But I just don't get it.

Like how can someone be happy as larry on tv one day and then kill themselves a few hours later.

And I read Stan collymores tweet and I just don't get it, I don't understand. It just seems so alien to me that for no reason people will randomly start to feel down in the dumps for weeks/months on end.

People are good at hiding stuff.

horsemeat

Oh right sorry didnt see it

Jesus Wept

[ ] happy as larry.

horsemeat

starbelgrade wrote: »

Consider yourself lucky then, but always remain compassionate for others.

I meant to say I don't understand it.

Randomer.

Been largely unhappy for most of my time on this earth and I guarantee you the large bulk of people who know me wouldn't have a clue.

chucken1

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=75700404

Halfshaft

You've obvously never had to deal with somebody that suffers with it so..... Believe me it's rampant and ruining alot of people and family's lives...... If we knew the answers and a cure alot of people's friends and family would be still with us today that left too soon.

chin_grin

horsemeat wrote: »

I meant to say I don't understand it.

Get learnin'.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_(mood)

KKkitty

I do get it but people who suffer from it can mask their depression. To the people around them they seem happy but once they're away from all the distractions of this world dark thoughts do creep in and take over no matter what positivity they have in their lives.

chucken1

horsemeat wrote: »

I meant to say I don't understand it.

You Might want to edit the title?

kraggy

horsemeat wrote: »

This Gary Speed thing has really just got me wondering.

Like I just don't get depression at all.

I know they have loss of neurotransmitters (amongst other theories).

But I just don't get it.

Like how can someone be happy as larry on tv one day and then kill themselves a few hours later.

And I read Stan collymores tweet and I just don't get it, I don't understand. It just seems so alien to me that for no reason people will randomly start to feel down in the dumps for weeks/months on end.

Same way someone can be perfectly healthy one minute and be diagnosed with cancer the next.

It's an illness, pure and simple. You just don't see it like other illnesses.

Also, I absolutely detest the way the term "depression" is bandied about. People claiming to be depressed when they are just really pissed off because something external upset them.

Depression is an actual chemical imbalance that can happen someone suddenly even when things are going well for them.

El Weirdo

chucken1 wrote: »

You Might want to edit the title?

Good idea. I think that the OP comes across as quite dismissive of the illness. Hopefully that wasn't the intention.

whirlpool

The answer to your question is plain and simple: people learn to mask on the outside what they're feeling on the inside, and as time goes on they become experts at it, until eventually it's entirely natural for them to give off an image of being totally fine while simultaneously feeling like hell on the inside.

Einhard

horsemeat wrote: »

This Gary Speed thing has really just got me wondering.

Like I just don't get depression at all.

I know they have loss of neurotransmitters (amongst other theories).

But I just don't get it.

Like how can someone be happy as larry on tv one day and then kill themselves a few hours later.

And I read Stan collymores tweet and I just don't get it, I don't understand. It just seems so alien to me that for no reason people will randomly start to feel down in the dumps for weeks/months on end.

They're generally not happy at all, but manage to put on a brave face to the world and suffer silently through their agony because, quite honestly, that's what society expects of them.

horsemeat

Title and post changed, wasn't being a smart alec or whatnot, genuine post

Abi

horsemeat wrote: »

This Gary Speed thing has really just got me wondering.

Like I just don't get depression at all.

I know they have loss of neurotransmitters (amongst other theories).

But I just don't get it.

Like how can someone be happy as larry on tv one day and then kill themselves a few hours later.

And I read Stan collymores tweet and I just don't get it, I don't understand. It just seems so alien to me that for no reason people will randomly start to feel down in the dumps for weeks/months on end.

Depression comes in variations, some worse than others. How one person 'deals' with it compared to another, varies. Some types of depression are very obvious, and there are some who aren't as obvious. They can appear the happy-go-lucky, 'always smiling' and 'loved life' look that so many people cite. Depression is very real, and I hate when the word is used so loosely - "ugh.. it's only Tuesday, I'm so depressed" kind of shit. Same with 'oh my god, I had a panic attack when... <insert minor drama>"

Nothing compares to either in reality.

IHeartChemistry

Go read the anxiety and depression thread in the Long Term Illness forum. Then you may get an idea. Depression is evil, scary and controls you. It makes you a different person that you cant understand or explain. I hate the ignorance towards mental health these days. Just because you cant see it, doesnt mean it doesnt exist. It's a silent killer.

Latchy

I think of all the clebs who decided to end it all , hearing of Gary Speeds death this afternoon rellay shook me as it has many because as somebody who was in the public eye a lot , on the surface he looked a very calm responsible type person who radiated confidence and even his close friends in the football world had no idea that he could be planning to do such a thing , which obiously means a lot of stuff is going to come out in next days and weeks but you would never have thought it by looking at him .

whirlpool

Abi wrote: »

Some types of depression are very obvious, and there are some who aren't as obvious. They can appear the happy-go-lucky, 'always smiling' and 'loved life' look that so many people cite.

This is devastatingly true. I can very confidently say that, in my experience, 90% of the people who I eventually discovered were suffering from serious depression were people who appeared socially to be happy-go-lucky, often the "loud" person, the "funny" person, etc.

I have discovered that that is generally because they are trying (often subconsciously) extremely hard to mask what they are feeling on the inside, and this results in giving off the false impression that they are a very happy person.

Urquell

One thing that impressed me about Germany's reaction to the death of Robert Enke was how they began to take seriously the idea of Depression among those "who have it all".

I dont mean to sound trite when I say this, but hopefully Speeds terrible death could have a similar impact here. And elevate Depression from "he just needs a good night out" to something that reflects a terrible mental disorder.

I hope Gary Speed has found peace. I have memories of the man lifting the English title for Leeds. He was on telly leading Wales over Norway to victory only two(?) weeks ago. It desperate to think he would do this with a wife and kids.

seanybiker

I have it and when I tell people they find it hard to believe because they think I'm a happy go lucky person but the reality couldn't be further from the way I act. Its fooking tough.
I try to crack jokes and get people to laugh, can do shag all for meself so may aswell try get other people to smile.

djk1000

I've had depression for many years. I'm an expert at fitting in and acting positive. The difference is that a happy person enjoys being happy, a depressed person feels like they've run a marathon after acting happy in front of people for the day.

The more depressed you are, the bigger the effort to act normal and the worse you feel when you take off the mask.

D.

Latchy

No doubt Mr Speed had resasons ( which doesn't justify his actions of course ) but god only knows what his family and close friends are going through at this time as anybody who's has lost a loved one in similar circumstances .

Fandango

El Weirdo wrote: »

Good idea. I think that the OP comes across as quite dismissive of the illness. Hopefully that wasn't the intention.

I think the OP is more curious. Im someone that has had a few bouts of depression in my time. Ive never had it so bad that i thought about ending it all but it is something that people have a hard time understanding and for obvious reasons. If you havent had it, you wont fully understand it. Its very easy to put on a mask and pretend things are great when they are the opposite. Also, you could be in a place where you feel good (on TV, with your mates etc) and have a good time but when you leave, all the stuff you forgot about while there come back and hit you. It is something that is very hard to understand without having dealt with it but is something that there should be alot more awareness about. Cant blame people like the OP for not understanding it if the only time they hear about it is when someone famous is hit by it. RIP Gary Speed YNWA RIP

TheUsual

kraggy wrote: »

Depression is an actual chemical imbalance that can happen someone suddenly even when things are going well for them.

Exactly.
Knew a handsome funny man from Cork who should have been a King but he was on Lithium. Such a waste, he was a lovely guy.

chucken1

Einhard wrote: »

They're generally not happy at all, but manage to put on a brave face to the world and suffer silently through their agony because, quite honestly, that's what society expects of them.

Can I just take your point to explain myself?
I did exactly what you said until one day after manyyyyyyy years of doctors and tablets (which did help btw) I just got brave and TOLD people how I was feeling. My family were a a bit disconcerted
I now say "Ive a Boo"..they know I mean Im feeling down/sad/not leaving the house/ready to kill (no Im messing)
Its a safe word! I get Boo's

djk1000

Latchy wrote: »

No doubt Mr Speed had resasons ( which doesn't justify his actions of course ) but god only knows what his family and close friends are going through at this time as anybody who's has lost a loved one in similar circumstances .

I've had a few dodgy moments, what kept me going was saying that it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem and thinking about the people I'd leave behind, words to live by if you're depressed! :-)

Logical Fallacy

I've spent the last year and a half dealing with depression and I don't understand it OP.

gcgirl

There is such thing as an kind of invisible mask people wear just because they look or act fine does not mean that the inner self is fine, and tbh if i was a Larry i'd be fine but i'm not!

Plus over the last year 4 people that i had some kind of daily interaction with committed suicide, last one i found out Saturday night and to be honest its hit me hard, then hearing about Gary Speed and then seeing Shay Givin reaction after the mins silence i was in tears because i was nearly seeking that permanent solution but something stopped me from taking that step, It was 19 yrs ago still trying to figure that one out,Now its different i have a responsibility that 3 people depend on me and i am a firm believer in living in the present moment, its got me to where i am now.

Latchy

djk1000 wrote: »

I've had a few dodgy moments, what kept me going was saying that it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem and thinking about the people I'd leave behind, words to live by if you're depressed! :-)

The first thing that many say when somebody has taken their own life is '' how selfish could they be ,especialy leaving a wife and kids behind '' but unless we have walked in those shoes ourselfs , nobody can judge anyones actions ,even if at time we fail to understand them ...we all have limits of endurance in this life .

coolx

TheUsual wrote: »

Exactly.
Knew a handsome funny man from Cork who should have been a King but he was on Lithium. Such a waste, he was a lovely guy.

There is no scientific proof for chemical imbalance. It's a fib. Unless
someone is willing to step up to the table and prove me wrong using
actual logic. I don't think that is going to happen.

Fandango

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

I've spent the last year and a half dealing with depression and I don't understand it OP.

Thats it. People with depression cant explain it so how can you expect people without it to. Wonder if Speed had (and correct me if im wrong!) Bipolar. Isnt that the condition where you can suddenly go from one state to another? I know there is alot more to it than that but if its the one im thinking of, it is a case where you can go from laughing and enjoying yourself to feeling the absolute opposite very fast. Dont know much about Bipolar so may be very wrong, sorry if i am.

chucken1

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

I've spent the last year and a half dealing with depression and I don't understand it OP.

Im not being a mammy..or am I? Ive had it probably 20 years now?
Its ok not to understand it...its NOT ok to battle alone. It'll drain your best years

Logical Fallacy

coolx wrote: »

There is no scientific proof for chemical imbalance. It's a fib. Unless
someone is willing to step up to the table and prove me wrong using
actual logic. I don't think that is going to happen.

Well, it depends really. I wouldn't hazard to know that depression is 100% caused by a chemical imbalance, but seeing as emotion, mood etc is all very much a hormonal and chemical thing within humans there is obviously an imbalance involved...although whether it is the causes of depression or just the obviously required effect of it is the real question.

chucken1 wrote: »

Im not being a mammy..or am I? Ive had it probably 20 years now?
Its ok not to understand it...its NOT ok to battle alone. It'll drain your best years

Oh thankfully i am not going it alone. I have great parents, an amazing girlfriend who has stuck with me through some scary and dark times and great friends.

It's just been a weird year and half with panic, anxiety, various illnesses and injuries, talk of Depression, Bi-Polar disorder, Schizophrenia and other goodies. The last couple of months have been a marked improvement thankfully so i'm just moving forward these days. I already lost a year to this ****, i'm not losing another one.

chucken1

coolx wrote: »

There is no scientific proof for chemical imbalance. It's a fib. Unless
someone is willing to step up to the table and prove me wrong using
actual logic. I don't think that is going to happen.

Well with your 1st post? Can I ask are you a student of science or life?

TeddyTedson

I don't think there's anything sadder than hearing of someone taking their own life. To think what the person must have been going through is staggering, and then there's all the unanswered questions often left behind too. I don't know the official figures for suicides in this country but it seems to be on the rise.
I suppose depression comes in many different forms and the term "depression" is probably over used as opposed to the exact form of mental illness someone is suffering from.
I'm still in shock about Gary Speed though. It really does go to show you you just don't know what's going on in peoples heads though, as cliched as that sounds. He would have been one of the last footballers I'd have ever imagined doing something like this. A true gent. RIP.

Abi

whirlpool wrote: »

This is devastatingly true. I can very confidently say that, in my experience, 90% of the people who I eventually discovered were suffering from serious depression were people who appeared socially to be happy-go-lucky, often the "loud" person, the "funny" person, etc.

I have discovered that that is generally because they are trying (often subconsciously) extremely hard to mask what they are feeling on the inside, and this results in giving off the false impression that they are a very happy person.

Putting a brave face on things is something I did for a very long time with my family, if they'd any idea what I was actually going through in reality, I know they would have intervened. Depression demotivates you. You know what makes sense, but other factors hinder things. I wanted to leave my ex for a long time, but I felt a lot of pressure from my family to stay within the relationship despite that I did everything I could to block it out to not seem like a disappointment in their eyes. I downward spiraled with drink and prescription medication, which was dangerous because I was already depressed. I began over-medicating to the point where I can't fathom how I'm still alive.

I'm so very glad to say that, after some counseling I kept refusing deeming it as BS, but all it is basically is a chat. It set me on a clearer more positive path, which made me realize it was okay to end it. My hen always had the pressure on me that ending a divorce would 'shame' us.

I'm now a much much MUCH happier person. I won't deny I've problems in my life with regards to my ex, but he's no longer in my home, controlling me etc. I can think for myself again, I can breathe


I dare anyone to say depression is some made up illness. Those that do are fucking fools, and always will be.

coolx

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Well, it depends really. I wouldn't hazard to know that depression is 100% caused by a chemical imbalance, but seeing as emotion, mood etc is all very much a hormonal and chemical thing within humans there is obviously an imbalance involved...although whether it is the causes of depression or just the obviously required effect of it is the real question.

Depression is devestating. It is not however caused by a chemical imbalance which has infact been proven to be false.
It's complete bull actually. I can't find even one Academic paper that substantiates this myth. The truth is, we aren't
scientifically advanced enough to actually pinpoint depression.

coolx

chucken1 wrote: »

Well with your 1st post? Can I ask are you a student of science or life?

Physics

Logical Fallacy

coolx wrote: »

Depression is devestating. It is not however caused by a chemical imbalance which has infact been proven to be false.
It's complete bull actually. I can't find even one Academic paper that substantiates this myth. The truth is, we aren't
scientifically advanced enough to actually pinpoint depression.

I never said it was.

Fandango

chucken1 wrote: »

Im not being a mammy..or am I? Ive had it probably 20 years now?
Its ok not to understand it...its NOT ok to battle alone. It'll drain your best years

Just to say, this is whats needed. People who suffer from mental conditions be it depression/anxiety/panic or the many others, talking about it and not being afraid to say they have it. Its an illness so many people have these days but nobody will say they do cos they feel like they are alone with it. Too many lives have been lost cos people didnt feel comfortable talking to someone about it. So basically, good on ya. More people that talk about this stuff, less people feel helpless and in time will get through it.

Abi

coolx wrote: »

There is no scientific proof for chemical imbalance. It's a fib. Unless
someone is willing to step up to the table and prove me wrong using
actual logic. I don't think that is going to happen.

And your opinion is based on what exactly?


Consider me stepped up to the table.

coolx

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

I never said it was.

"there is obviously an imbalance involved"

Abi

coolx wrote: »

Depression is devestating. It is not however caused by a chemical imbalance which has infact been proven to be false.
It's complete bull actually. I can't find even one Academic paper that substantiates this myth. The truth is, we aren't
scientifically advanced enough to actually pinpoint depression.

You're so busy telling us what it isn't, why don't you tell us what it is then.




.

KeithAFC

People need to open up more about it. Talk to some one about it. You aren't alone.

Logical Fallacy

coolx wrote: »

"there is obviously an imbalance involved"

Did you read the rest of the post?

I said obviously an imbalance is involved because mood and emotion have a chemical root.

I did not say there was a permanent imbalance that is the obvious cause of depression.

I realise you are only a few posts in to this Boards.ie thing but it helps to read and consider full posts, and also not quoting small segments of posts out of context.