RIP Gary Speed - Mod Note 292

Rhys Essien

Gary with Michael Owen

amacachi

Ive been holding back for now but I have to say that suicide disgusts me. Not in a holier-than-thou kind of way, just that it really hits everything far more than it should. A cousin of mine did it a coupla years ago, best mate's dad did it 4 years ago and that hole never closes.
As someone pointed out earlier, Stan Collimore wrote a whole thing about his depression and it seems self-indulgent from the outside but it's anything but. I had a couple of extremely half-hearted suicide attempts a few years ago and when people start talking about it, even with my limited experience, I know that one can never really get into someone's head in that moment before they do it. It's the end, line under everything. I'm drunk and rambling but the point is that as minor as my issues were even a week later I was embarrassed at how petty it was that I was ready to die right there and then. It's completely inexplicable even now.
There's a few things people say in these situations but one always rings true to me: "What was going through his head?". 99+% of us will never know and it's better for anyone who doesn't know that they will.

monkey9

I woke up to this news today and was stunned and shocked. Gary Speed was just one of the good guys in the game. I'd be surprised if you found one person who had a bad word to say about him. The whole thing just doesn't make sense.

RIP Speedy!!!

Dean820

A blog from Dan Walker, the presenter from Football Focus who was chatting with Gary Speed the day before - http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/danwalker/2011/11/gary_speed_leaves_a_huge_whole.html

paddy kerins

It hasn't really hit home till now after seeing Given and Savage moved to tears.Very sad day for football

Sir Gallagher

Dean820 wrote: »

A blog from Dan Walker, the presenter from Football Focus who was chatting with Gary Speed the day before - http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/danwalker/2011/11/gary_speed_leaves_a_huge_whole.html

For those on mobiles.

Gary Speed leaves a huge hole in football

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Post categories: Football
Dan Walker | 18:00 UK time, Sunday, 27 November 2011


I have no idea where to start this blog, what to say in the middle and how to finish it. This will probably be a stream of consciousness.
I spent four hours with Gary Speed on Saturday. He was our guest on Football Focus and was in great form. I've met and interviewed him on many occasions. I always found him to be kind, funny, intelligent and insightful.
On Saturday he was cracking jokes with Gary McAllister, his midfield partner from the title-winning Leeds side of 1991-92.
Off-air we talked about playing golf, how good his boys were at football and his dreams of taking Wales to the World Cup in 2014.
He was always interested in what you were up to. He would say: "How are you finding Sheffield, Dan? Are you and the kids settling in OK?" That was part of his charm - he cared.



One of the production team went to the same school as Gary in North Wales and they were talking about the day the Queen turned up. A picture, taken of Gary with fellow alumni Michael Owen and Her Majesty, is still proudly shown in reception.
Gary was genuinely loved in the game. In the last few hours you will have heard more qualified accounts and memories from fellow managers, players, friends and fans talking of how much he meant to them and what he did for their club. There have been tributes and flowers left across the country and tears shed throughout the football family.
After Focus we recorded a 10-minute piece with Gary talking about Wales qualifying campaign for the next World Cup. He spoke with passion about the fixtures and desire to see success. His hope was that the upturn in form would see his team playing in front of full stadia again. He joked about Team GB and how Scotland would be an easy game, McAllister giggled.
Those words and hopes for the future seem so poignant now. There was certainly no hint of any troubles or any indication of what was going to happen a few hours later.
"I'm just popping upstairs to see Al [Shearer], Dan. I'll see you up there in a mo," he said after the show.
I joined Gary in the Match of the Day production office a few minutes later where he was chatting with Shearer, Mark Lawrenson and McAllister.
They were having a laugh and watching the Stoke v Blackburn game. Alan and Gary were organising when they were going to see each other next before Shearer left to go to watch Manchester United v Newcastle at Old Trafford. They all ribbed Alan for his comedy hat that later featured on MOTD.
I was going home to Sheffield so I said my goodbyes. Gary gave me a warm handshake and said "thanks for today Dan".
"We might even have you on again soon," I joked.
When I got the news on Sunday morning I was stunned. I still can't get my head around it.
This is not the time to go into the reasons behind it all. I know people are talking about depression and other issues but we will have to wait to know the whole - probably very sad - truth.
This is the time to say that all our thoughts and prayers are with his family. This is the time to say I found him to be a top bloke and really enjoyed his company.
He leaves a huge hole in football. He seemed to have everything in front of him - two boys he loved, physical fitness and, at just 42, a promising future as manager of Wales. But Gary Speed is gone and I miss him.

RIP.

El Inho

while were waiting for that comment to be removed, id like to take time to say

RIP Speed.

sad day indeed...great player manager and person im sure.

A guy doesnt get such recognition from the football world without doing a few things right..

Given moved me today

UDAWINNER

RIP GARY.

madma

just reading that article about been on bbc and how positive he was just makes it harder to believe, i wonder if more stuff will come out about his death, whether a letter was left or his family may know why.

dan1895

RIP Gary.
Was shocked beyond belief when I heard the news yesterday

That_Guy

It's still really not quite sunk in yet. Despite having never met the man, it feels like a really good mate has just died. I don't know why but it hit me really hard yesterday and still today.

Having watched him play for Newcastle as a young lad, I instantly warmed to him. One of the hardest working players to put on a black and white jersey. His heading ability, especially that one against Spurs to gain us a replay which we subsequently won 7-1.

A model professional who never got too big for his boots.

"I'm nothing special really" was a quote that Speed once said after a post match interview.

Sir Bobby Robson once made a comment about him:

"He was hardly ever injured and was as brave as a lion. He never ducked out of a tackle and would never shirk a header."

If there is a heaven or an afterlife then you've got your captain Sir Bobby.

RIP

rednik

RIP Gary, a true gentleman of the game.

10000maniacs

More Daily Mail vulturedom.:mad: I feel physically sick at their carry on. . See the two photos of his home.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2066812/Gary-Speed-dead-Wales-football-manager-commits-suicide-42.html

That_Guy

10000maniacs wrote: »

More Daily Mail vulturedom.:mad: I feel physically sick at their carry on. . See the two photos of his home.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2066812/Gary-Speed-dead-Wales-football-manager-commits-suicide-42.html

They should have just fúcked off and left his family in peace. Disgusting really.

A Primal Nut

markesmith wrote: »

Shameful the papers giving cause of death out like that

Why are people so bothered about this? People want to know why he died and they are reporting it. It would be weird if all the fans had no idea how he died? If someone died in a car crash or a heart attack or whatever the media would say it and everything would think its normal. I don't see why it should be any different with suicide. We need to remove this stigma regarding suicide. The fact it's not talked about is one of the big problems.

It's really sad news and feel really sorry for his wife and young kids. RIP.

The_Kew_Tour

Just want to say thanks to the people who gave positive feedback on my message yesterday.

I was not sure if it was a good decision to write about my own personal experience, but I am glad now.

Also was nice to read other people experiences too, even though I wish they never happened in first place for anybody it's still gives people reading them a sense of awareness.

efb

A Primal Nut wrote: »

Why are people so bothered about this? People want to know why he died and they are reporting it. It would be weird if all the fans had no idea how he died? If someone died in a car crash or a heart attack or whatever the media would say it and everything would think its normal. I don't see why it should be any different with suicide. We need to remove this stigma regarding suicide. The fact it's not talked about is one of the big problems.
But this is a
It's really sad news and feel really sorry for his wife and young kids. RIP.

The reason is reporting on suicide increases the rate at the time - it gives people the 'strength' and validates it as an option.so that's why it's not reported- it also hurts those most closest to the victim

Lord Trollington

efb wrote: »

The reason is reporting on suicide increases the rate at the time - it gives people the 'strength' and validates it as an option.so that's why it's not reported- it also hurts those most closest to the victim

Have you a link to prove this as I would have thought that After a high profile suicide it increases awareness and some people would actually go out and seek help.

You cannot brush suicide under the carpet and think that if its not reported on in the media that it will cease to exist.

In a side note, I do not get people reactions to his death and its surrounding circumstances being reported on in the media, social networking sites ect.

I would find it much more strange had his death been reported and there being no one asking any questions as to why or how.

efb

Oh I'll print a link later to validate my point. I am all to aware of the realities of this.
I don't want to know why GS died, I just feel very sorry for his family for his huge loss.

SarahBM

massive amounts of tributes at Billy Bremner Statue at Elland Road

http://twitter.com/#!/gelderdend_com/status/141123620951953408/photo/1

Lord Trollington

efb wrote: »

Oh I'll print a link later to validate my point. I am all to aware of the realities of this.
I don't want to know why GS died, I just feel very sorry for his family for his huge loss.

I feel hugely sorry for his family and friends also.

It seems to me to be a catch 22 situation here. Reporting on suicides increases suicides as you say but on the other hand you want people to be aware of the devastation it causes and for them to seek help in a friend or a medical professional.

The question on everyone lips this morning is "Why"? This is going to be reported on in the coming days and is going to make for uncomfortable reading or viewing for lots of people unfortunately.

efb

Lord Trollington wrote: »

Have you a link to prove this as I would have thought that After a high profile suicide it increases awareness and some people would actually go out and seek help.

You cannot brush suicide under the carpet and think that if its not reported on in the media that it will cease to exist.

In a side note, I do not get people reactions to his death and its surrounding circumstances being reported on in the media, social networking sites ect.

I would find it much more strange had his death been reported and there being no one asking any questions as to why or how.

As for how, only the macabre would want to know that

missingtime

For those of you who dont read the excellent The Secret Football blog on the Guardian; this was posted on Friday the 25 November. Pretty eerie reading about it now.

The ability of football to turn life on its head with only a single blast of the referee's whistle makes it almost too easy to get carried away with the game at times. One minute everything is going well and seconds later things have never looked so bleak; sometimes that pressure is simply too much. Last week the attempt by the Bundesliga referee Babak Rafati to kill himself had pundits and commentators alike preferring to "put football into perspective" rather than ask the awkward questions that nobody wants to answer.

Many top sports people know only too well what Rafati is going through. On Friday, Stan Collymore, the former Liverpool striker, used his Twitter account to tell the world that his latest bout of depression was one of the most severe yet, prompting him to reveal that he hasn't seen daylight for four days. I certainly understand the feeling of wanting to shut yourself away from the world and when I was first diagnosed with depression in 2002 it was even more of a stigma than it is today.

Since football exploded as a global business some 20 years ago the pressure on everybody involved has become a poisoned chalice. On the one hand the rewards are vast but on the other failure, or even mediocrity, can become the barometer against which all aspects of life are measured, albeit for a minority.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying for one minute that everyone involved with the game is in a state of irreparable depression, but I do think that the majority of us feel a degree of pressure, from the thought of what the headline writers have in store for us to the fans that start work on Monday morning unsure if they'll have enough money to put fuel in their car, never mind afford another £40 ticket come Saturday.

When I started playing there was no media training or sports psychology to help you along the way; pressure was just something you had to deal with. Some players remain so anxious that they are physically sick before games, and one of my friends from the continent took to having oxygen such was his fear of underperforming.

On many occasions, I have seen players affected by what somebody has said about them on a message board or in a newspaper. Even if there are 99 positive comments, they will put all their efforts into searching for the one negative remark and, subsequently, put all their energy into worrying about it.

A player, of course, knows only too well if he has played poorly, and yet the fear of seeing a below-par performance pulled apart by a journalist remains a huge obstacle for some. I must confess that in days gone by I have refused interviews with some reporters when I've felt that the rating out of 10 given to me in their match report the previous week did not reflect my true contribution. As I wrote that sentence I could see how pathetic it might sound but imagine having your performance in the workplace publicly graded every week.

These examples of insecurity are in no way confined to the players. Whenever a manager mentions in an interview that he never reads the papers, then you know for certain that the first thing he does on a Monday morning is go through every match report with a highlighter pen.

Adding pressure to your own game is sometimes unavoidable and can manifest itself in poor performances, the culmination of which can lead to a dark and depressing cul-de-sac. Tragically, there are examples of players who have reached this tipping point. In 2009 Robert Enke, the German goalkeeper, killed himself after struggling to come to terms with the death of his daughter, his illness not helped by an inability to deal with the scrutiny of his performances and anything less than his own high standards.

Unfortunately, mental illness among the wealthy, and in particular those in sport that are perceived by the public to be doing the job they love, remains a tough concept for some to get their head around. The word "depression" is suffering from a tired image and doesn't seem to have penetrated the public divide in perhaps the same way that, for example, post-traumatic stress disorder has.

Yet, strangely for a game dominated by pent-up testosterone, the acknowledgment and treatment of depression is getting better. Managers understand, perhaps more than ever, that the talent of a modern-day footballer will tend to put them in a position of wealth and fame at a very young age, bringing vulnerability as well as huge rewards.

The media coverage of football has also changed, leading to a relentless quest for content that has driven an interest in the personal lives of many players. Because of this, I feel there is a real opportunity for our governing bodies to lay down a marker for what players can expect from the media and the terraces and what is an invasion of human rights.

Some have asked why a banker, which Rafati is, would ever want to be a part of any of this. The added pressure of refereeing top-flight football is in evidence almost every day of the week but, while banking is certainly a way to make a good living, it is, first and foremost, a job. Football is a passion and in an ideal world something to live for not to die as a result of.

The world, of course, is far from ideal and that makes it easy for all of us to point the finger at times. Sometimes I'll see fans screaming at players of their own team with such anger that for a moment I lose all identification with them; the butterfly effect is the player that hurriedly makes his way to the coach as hundreds of kids wait for autographs.

In my own way, I have learnt to cope with the side-effects of this game but only because I believe, in fact I know, that if some of those involved with football have arrived at a moment in their lives where they feel that standing in front of a train or slitting their wrists in a hotel room is the only way out, then it isn't just a game any more, is it?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2011/nov/25/the-secret-footballer

kensutz

I was working at the Liberty Stadium yesterday and broke the news to other photographers about Gary Speed passing away. To say the whole room were numbed is a massive understatement. Then word filtered outside to the fans who had to come into the room to ask us if it was true. It was a surreal day and even saw John Hartson in the ground before he got told the news and left the ground. The whole stadium was full of emotion and being back home now it has only really hit me that one of my favourite players has died.

Sgt Pepper 64

The brain is quite a complex thing, and to say we understand much at all about it is nonsense.
Suicide leaves a permanent and lasting impact on all those left behind, and as someone who has been personally impacted by this, I would never blame the person even after 40 odd years of trying to understand.
I will always have questions, but my love will always remain

eagle eye

So shocked to hear of this. RIP Gary Speed.

He was an excellent footballer for many years and was a real joy to watch as he always gave everything he had on the football field. Its just so sad to hear of something like this.

cyrusdvirus

missingtime wrote: »

For those of you who dont read the excellent The Secret Football blog on the Guardian; this was posted on Friday the 25 November. Pretty eerie reading about it now.

Just read it there, didn't know you had posted it here.


Gave me shivers down my spine

RIP Gary Speed

fryup

missingtime wrote: »

For those of you who dont read the excellent The Secret Football blog on the Guardian; this was posted on Friday the 25 November. Pretty eerie reading about it now.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2011/nov/25/the-secret-footballer

so who's behind this "secret" blog?? an ex footballer? a journalist?

Nailz

Just seen a man around the Concourse at NUI Galway wearing an old Newcastle jersey with "SPEED 11" on it, made me quite sad. I'm still in a bit of a daze about the whole thing since yesterday. It's a horrible thing to comprehend about a man who seemed like a top person and was so well liked. He'll definitely be missed by all regular fans of English football.

RIP Gary.

markesmith

fryup wrote: »

so who's behind this "secret" blog?? an ex footballer? a journalist?

Some people reckon it's Danny Murphy...