Strange Phone Call

mkegvn

So I just got a strange phone call there. A man calling himself Brian Clarke rings me from a blocked number, says he found a blue envelope with my name, phone number and a previous address of mine on the side of the road. Unsure of what to do, I gave him a forwarding address.

Sound weird no? Any experience with anything like this?

Kiera

Why didnt you meet him somewhere? Now he knows where you live if he is a weirdo. Nice knowing you, M.

El Weirdo

Brian? Oh he's sound, nothing to worry about.

Legit as fuck, that guy.

you gave a stranger your address? so he could forward a copy of your old address that he found??

what a scam

L.Jenkins

He's sending you money. Send me your bank details and I'll prove its authenticity.

kfallon

Yeah Brian Clarke rings me all the time, lovely fella, sound ould trout and salt of the earth!

Hasmunch

So looks like you are about to be murdered, what music would you like played at your funeral?

(Like seriously, who puts a phone number on envelope they are sending)

Why would your phone number be on the outside of an envelope?

mkegvn

Relax lads, I said I gave him a forwarding address, I didn't say it was mine.

Yea the number on the envelope is where alarm bells rang. I was thinking maybe the bank are coming after me or something

ahyeahok

He probably has some of your info and now just stealing the rest of it. He's just borrowing your I.D. for a while, dont worry bout it.

MagicMarker

What shade of blue?

John Doe1

You should meet up, you might have a gay old time

Teyla Emmagan

You think he's a bailiff?

Poor Uncle Tom

If it's a blue envelope you're fine, it's the green ones you should watch out for...

hondasam

mkegvn wrote: »

Sound weird no? Any experience with anything like this?

Yes weird, your name number and address, ring the guards.

mkegvn wrote: »

Yea the number on the envelope is where alarm bells rang. I was thinking maybe the bank are coming after me or something

A call from the bank this late, doubtful.

mkegvn

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

You think he's a bailiff?

No, I was kidding about the bank bit.

mkegvn

mkegvn wrote: »

No, I was kidding about the bank bit.

Oh you....

oppenheimer1

It has to be the TV license inspector.

Plazaman

Brian Clarke aka Fingers Clarke aka The Butcher. Wouldn't worry too much, the last of the Blue Envelope victims was fine..... what was left of him.

aaronjumper

I go through all the trouble of stalking you and
putting all your information into one file and this
guy just sweeps in and steals my victim!

Back to the drawing board.

mkegvn

Haha! Yer a gas bunch.

Abi

/strokes chin



Anal rape. For sures.

AnonoBoy

Brian Clarke was a dick, a private dick. He'd grifted some rubes in his time but this mkegvn character was a classic A1 patsy. He'd fallen for the oldest con in the book, the old blue envelope switcharoo.

Now, armed with this putz's address he was ready to make the deal with Big Guns McGettigan. He didn't like dealing with Big Guns, the guy was a rat through and through. But sometimes a flatfoot had to do what a flatfoot had to do and this gumshoe knew which side his bread was buttered on. Especially when there was a dame involved.

And what a dame! Eyes that cut like diamonds and legs that went all the way to the floor. Sheila knew everything about everyone and was no good for nuthin' but she was all woman and Brian Clarke knew he couldn't leave her high and dry like a string of salami when the tide when out. McGettigan didn't want to hurt her - he just wanted Clarke to play hardball. And Clarke was going to show him he could play the hardest balls in the business.

Which is how he wound up standing on the street outside this schmuck mkegvn's place. A blue envelope in one hand, loaded piece in the other, Clarke approached the door and grimaced. McGettigan was going to get his pound of flesh one way or the other and Clarke was going to pound some flesh himself when he got Sheila back to the rundown old beat up place above the liqour store that he called home.

This was going to be some night....... in the distance a saxophone played long and hard. Clarke cocked his piece and rang the bell.

mconigol

mkegvn wrote: »

So I just got a strange phone call there. A man calling himself Brian Clarke rings me from a blocked number, says he found a blue envelope with my name, phone number and a previous address of mine on the side of the road. Unsure of what to do, I gave him a forwarding address.

Sound weird no? Any experience with anything like this?

Yes I have experience with phone calls. Sounds like you figured it out OP. Congrats.

Hobbes

Why would someone put your phone number on an envelope?

Rick Deckard

So he has your name, address and phone number..
If this clark lad ever discovers phone books we're all screwed!!

cock robin

mkegvn wrote: »

So I just got a strange phone call there. A man calling himself Brian Clarke rings me from a blocked number, says he found a blue envelope with my name, phone number and a previous address of mine on the side of the road. Unsure of what to do, I gave him a forwarding address.

Sound weird no? Any experience with anything like this?

Clarke the knife up to his old tricks again. Will he never learn, even after several ohms of treatment temptation rears its ugly head again :eek:

corktina

maybe its a BROWN envelope and you're in the money...

dollyk

He,s fly tipping, and needs to leave an address just in case .

Snakeblood

mkegvn wrote: »

So I just got a strange phone call there. A man calling himself Brian Clarke rings me from a blocked number, says he found a blue envelope with my name, phone number and a previous address of mine on the side of the road. Unsure of what to do, I gave him a forwarding address.

Sound weird no? Any experience with anything like this?

WE TRACED THE CALL. IT'S COMING FROM YOUR HOUSE. GET OUT.

ASOT

OP are you still alive ?

Brian Clarke

I called to the house and nobody was home, when will you be back ?

Immaculate Pasta

Brian Clarke wrote: »

I called to the house and nobody was home, when will you be back ?

Superb :cool:

Kiera

Brian Clarke wrote: »

I called to the house and nobody was home, when will you be back ?

Predictable!

AnonoBoy

Kiera wrote: »

Predictable!

Don't mess with him. He's a dick, a private dick. He's grifted some rubes in his time but this mkegvn character was a classic...... etc. etc.

Kiera

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Kiera wrote: »

Predictable!

Don't mess with him. He's a dick

I agree.

superstoner90

oh dear sounds very dangerous , op only leave the house unless in absolutely necessary ,close the blinds and lock the door. but if you do decide to leave the house bring a cricket bat and wear a bullet proof jacket and of course some ball protection , incase worst comes to worst and this evil person decides to kick you in the ball sack

ano but seriously you are in deep sh1t.

x_Ellie_x

I bet the guy was a debt collector. That's a common trick they pull if you've moved and they can't find you.

Brian Clarke

x_Ellie_x wrote: »

I bet the guy was a debt collector. That's a common trick they pull if you've moved and they can't find you.

I just want to give him something. . . .

JustAddWater

Brian Clarke wrote: »

I called to the house and nobody was home, when will you be back ?

Did you leave a note in the door?

xoxyx

AnonoBoy wrote: »

This was going to be some night....... in the distance a saxophone played long and hard. Clarke cocked his piece and rang the bell.

He rang the bell and the bell, just like a woman in the kitchen, knew its place and pealed out a number of tuneless notes. As the last F flat floated into the distance, a silhouette could be seen making its way from the inside towards the door.

There was something about the house that seemed old-fashioned, and that perception was confirmed when the door did not open entirely but, rather, creaked inwards to reveal a gap the size of a 1997 encyclopedia, broken by a gold chain.

No face was revealed by this gap. No welcome was given but, rather, a surprisingly high pitched voice gave words to the question - "what do you want here?"...

jackie1974

Brian Clarke wrote: »

I just want to give him something. . . .[/Quote]

Would that be a few slaps because you found his number on your wifes phone ?

WoollyRedHat

Brian Clarke wrote: »

I called to the house and nobody was home, when will you be back ?

'IS there anybody there?' said the Traveller,
Knocking on the moonlit door;
And his horse in the silence champed the grasses
Of the forest's ferny floor.
And a bird flew up out of the turret,
Above the Traveller's head:
And he smote upon the door again a second time;
'Is there anybody there?' he said.
But no one descended to the Traveller;
No head from the leaf-fringed sill
Leaned over and looked into his grey eyes,
Where he stood perplexed and still.
But only a host of phantom listeners
That dwelt in the lone house then
Stood listening in the quiet of the moonlight
To that voice from the world of men:
Stood thronging the faint moonbeams on the dark stair,
That goes down to the empty hall,
Hearkening in an air stirred and shaken
By the lonely Traveller's call.
And he felt in his heart their strangeness,
Their stillness answering his cry,
While his horse moved, cropping the dark turf,
'Neath the starred and leafy sky;
For he suddenly smote on the door, even
Louder, and lifted his head:—
'Tell them I came, and no one answered,
That I kept my word,' he said.
Never the least stir made the listeners,
Though every word he spake
Fell echoing through the shadowiness of the still house
From the one man left awake:
Ay, they heard his foot upon the stirrup,
And the sound of iron on stone,
And how the silence surged softly backward,
When the plunging hoofs were gone.

Brian Clarke

jackie1974 wrote: »

Would that be a few slaps because you found his number on your wifes phone ?

Well, the blue envelope, you know, the one I found . . . . . . . on the side of the road . . . . . . with his name . . . . . . and contact details . . . . . . , yeah, that's it . . . . . . . . , just though I could get his bank account details and sort code, to . . . . . . eh . . . . . . return the cheque, in said envelope . . . . . . . .

<shifty eyes>

some random drunk

Don't worry OP, I'm sure there's no mystery behind this and you are perfectly safe.


PS: Don't google "Brian Clarke" MI5 agent