What have you done to my sweets

abouttobebanned

Every year I ask the same question, and every year I get more and more annoyed. Tonight, I put three boxes into the dock. Three boxes with serious questions to answer.

Box #1 Roses.

Or as the elders might call them….”Irish Roses”. Cadburys really don’t know what to do with roses. They continue to make an absolute balls of it. So much so that the National Lottery have gotten pissed off with them and ditched from the Hampers and Roses scratch card. Seriously…why can they not leave well enough alone?

There was a time when you could find some wonderous treats in a box of roses. There were unique, fun shapes, and there were undeniable morsels of confectionary heaven. There was also a family unity. A box of sweets working together to make a very special Christmas for one and all. Now all we have is a tin of sweets that barely acknowledge each other anymore. Probably because they don’t recognise each other. The strawberry one (my favourite) used to be in a strawberry shape…a nice touch I thought. The barrel was in a barrel (stood to reason)…the dairy mik and bournville were in mini bar form (you felt like a giant eating those ones). But nowadays the boys from Cadburys don’t know whether they’re coming or going. They bring in new sweets and take them out before we have time to decide if they’re worthy of a munch in front of our favourite Christmas Special. Two recent exampes include a little wine sweet that was just a bar with glassy crispy bits. I believe it had an orange flavoured twin as well. Both were sacked before they had a chance to shine. The bournville and coffee ones, otherwise known as “the unpopular two”, were booted out after years of loyal service. They may not have been everyone’s cup of tea but they were dedicated and dependable. The barrel is now no shape at all…people barely know that it’s there anymore. The dairy milk is now just two segments of a normal dairy milk. Where’s the fun in that? The roses has been tainted and no longer has the confidence to carry an Irish Christmas.

Box#2 The celebrations

First off, bravo on the nicest sweet of all. The teaser. Mars took a successful product and gave it a little twist, and now it’s the king of the sweets. But Christ…what are you doing with the rest of em? I took the liberty, for this exercise, to divide the box of celebrations into little groups, to see how many of each sweet we actually get. (I must add that I sucked on a twix while doing this) (ok I sucked on a twix while my girlfriend did this..she’s more the OCD type than I am). Anyway…



You will see that they’re threading with caution on their new addition. There’s barely a twix in there at all. I don’t see the point of the mars mysef…the topic has been fired this year…but why so many Milky Ways? Did you have some kind of surplus? Were you falling over milky ways in Mars Towers? Rotten little things. And don’t think for a second that by plying us with milky ways that we’ll forget that you’ve sneakily taken the truffles out of there. The one bit of luxury that we have over Christmas and you take it away from us. I don’t know what you’re playing at. Just give me a box of teasers next year please.

And finally, we come to the last box

Box #3 Miniature Heroes

Cadburys really don’t know what they’re up to here. I didn’t like the concept from day one A box of mini versions of boring bars. Bars that were already released in “fun size” (who do they think they are telling us that they can measure fun btw), so they shrink them further and I’m supposed to be excited? I wasn’t. Until someone told me that they did something special with one of the bars. I tried it out of curiosity. And sure enough…yes..they had worked similar malteaser magic on the crunchie. A great concept became even better. Until they got rid of the fcuking thing.
You see, we used to have –

 Crunchie (The ace in the pack)
 Dairy Milk Whole Nut
 Dream (A great little addition)
 Flake
 Fuse
 Picnic (one of your 5 a day)
 Time Out (the 90s child)
 Bournville (good for ya!)

And now we’re stuck with

 Creme Egg Twisted (the crème egg only works as an egg)
 Dairy Milk (meh)
 Dairy Milk Caramel (the whole country already has a fridge full of fun sized caramels)
 Eclairs (meh)
 Fudge (who buys a fudge? People only eat them at Christmas in a selection box)
 Twirl (meh)

So yes, I’m a bit sad. But, is it too much to ask the companies to include a little survey in their boxes so they can let the public decide, once and for all, what we want in our box of chocolate Christmas treats?

Acoshla

You've a lot of time on your hands.

BBDBB

find your "happy place" OP

Chuck Stone

You really like sweets and stuff.

4zn76tysfajdxp

abouttobebanned wrote: »

is it too much to ask the companies to include a little survey in their boxes so they can let the public decide, once and for all, what we want in our box of chocolate Christmas treats?

Or a "census."

sgb

There's only one thing I want in a stocking this Christmas

A leg without varicose veins

Two legs would be even better

earpiece

Do your own Thesis.

My name is URL

People really do get too emotional when it comes to chocolate.

TheZohanS

The special edition Cadbury Salmonella went down well last time amongst weight watchers.

abouttobebanned

What's worse is I wrote all that and accidentally pressed refresh so had to do it again. No idea why I did tbh. Poor fare from the early repliers in the war for thanks btw

Gummy Panda

I agree with the OP's assessment

earpiece

OP... go have some sex.

Wetai

Twixes in the celebrations?.. I don't remember those..
Did they replace regular Galaxy or something?

donalg1

Are you diabetic yet?

abouttobebanned

donalg1 wrote: »

Are you diabetic yet?

I'm not actually a big choc eater but I do like the festive tradition of the box of sweets.

J K

Remember they're just chocolates. They're not love.

Swampy

Good work OP. A well thought out thread. I would agree with most of your points and frustrations.

Edit: in the interest of AH, can you post a pic of your missus scantily clad sucking on some chocs?

abouttobebanned

earpiece wrote: »

OP... go have some sex.

She's watching emmerdale. I can't be having that.

Captain Graphite

abouttobebanned wrote: »

but why so many Milky Ways? Did you have some kind of surplus? Were you falling over milky ways in Mars Towers? Rotten little things. And don’t think for a second that by plying us with milky ways that we’ll forget that you’ve sneakily taken the truffles out of there. The one bit of luxury that we have over Christmas and you take it away from us.

Milky Ways are lovely! :eek: And I'm glad they got rid of Topic but getting rid of the truffles too was a bit mean.

 Crunchie (The ace in the pack)
 Dairy Milk Whole Nut
 Dream (A great little addition)
 Flake
 Fuse
 Picnic (one of your 5 a day)
 Time Out (the 90s child)
 Bournville (good for ya!)

And now we’re stuck with

 Creme Egg Twisted (the crème egg only works as an egg)
 Dairy Milk (meh)
 Dairy Milk Caramel (the whole country already has a fridge full of fun sized caramels)
 Eclairs (meh)
 Fudge (who buys a fudge? People only eat them at Christmas in a selection box)
 Twirl (meh)

They never should have got rid of Dream, they were the nicest. They should get rid of Fudge and Eclairs and bring back the Dream and then either the Flake or the Crunchie.

RichieC

there was only ever one dark blue jolly rancher in the pack...

phasers

No Galaxy truffle = no sale.

Superbus

The greatest injustice was the pulling of Truffles from Celebrations. Primarily because they don't seem to exist otherwise.

Turtyturd

What kind of person considers a crunchie to be the ace in the pack?...did your parents not let you eat proper chocolate growing up?

phasers

Turtyturd wrote: »

What kind of person considers a crunchie to be the ace in the pack?...did your parents not let you eat proper chocolate growing up?

Crunchies are the best bars cadbury make.

BBDBB

*popcorn


this controversy could run for another 10 pages easy

abouttobebanned

Turtyturd wrote: »

What kind of person considers a crunchie to be the ace in the pack?...did your parents not let you eat proper chocolate growing up?

I see your point...but they made the crunchier better..and let's face it..it was never gonna be hard to be the ace in that particular pack.

mikom

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WI02_UJ1C6I

Feeona

I think Lemons had it right....stick a pile of really average to ****e sweets in a box which has Santy's picture on it.

I was reared on Season's Greetings.

I'm thtill picking biths of them outh of my theeth. Thomethimes a thooth comesth with ith.

The King of Moo

I completely agree about the Roses: I used to love the montelimar and (very old) the marzipan (controversial, I know).

Nowadays the worst thing about Roses is not just that so many of the classics are gone, but that half of the new ones all taste the same and are bland, slightly caramelly/praliney ones.

Clogsworth

Roses are definitely gone to the dogs! I miss the truffle (square sweet in a blue foil wrapper) and the praline (round in a silver and purple foil wrapper). I stick to quality street these days...green triangles...mmm

westendgirlie

Roses are yuck.

Quality Street are far superior!

mattjack

Swampy wrote: »

Good work OP. A well thought out thread. I would agree with most of your points and frustrations.

Edit: in the interest of AH, can you post a pic of your missus scantily clad sucking on some chocs?

OP's male ? :eek:

splendid101

Great post, abouttobebanned!

All the people slagging you off are awful gimps.

Roses are awful f*cking chocolates. Celebrations are much better but too many Bounties, Bounties are muck. Milky Ways are grand but they're like a poor man's Mars bar really.

Miniature Heroes are grand really but I'd rather the real bars.

Jaxxy

My favourite rose is the strawberry one too OP.

mattjack

splendid101 wrote: »

Great post, abouttobebanned!

All the people slagging you off are awful gimps.

Roses are awful f*cking chocolates. Celebrations are much better but too many Bounties, Bounties are muck. Milky Ways are grand but they're like a poor man's Mars bar really.

Miniature Heroes are grand really but I'd rather the real bars.

Awful gimps ? as opposed to just ordinary gimps ?

Vain

My favourite rose was the coffee one, im still gutted they took it out! Now its the strawberry, funny thing is nearly everyone hates them so I get loads of them:D

kfallon

Jaxxy wrote: »

My favourite rose is the strawberry one too OP.

No way, only the coffee creams are worse imo!

Isit just me or have they gotten rid of a lot of the manky ones in the roses tin?

Jordan 199

I love the 'teaser' out of the celebrations box. I also like the caramel keg out of the roses box.

Btw OP, did you take the pic that's in your link?

Jaxxy

Vain wrote: »

My favourite rose was the coffee one, im still gutted they took it out! Now its the strawberry, funny thing is nearly everyone hates them so I get loads of them:D

I was exactly the same. I remember one Christmas when I was about six or seven, hiding behind the sofa with a full tin of roses, just eating all of the coffee ones. I put the wrappers back in though. I wasn't too smart back then obviously.

kfallon wrote: »

No way, only the coffee creams are worse imo!

Isit just me or have they gotten rid of a lot of the manky ones in the roses tin?

Sacrilicious!

kfallon

Jaxxy wrote: »

Sacrilicious!

We used to say about the strawberry and coffee creams, "Ah we'll keep them for the dog!!!"

Wouldn't mind but we never had a dog :rolleyes:

Jaxxy

kfallon wrote: »

We used to say about the strawberry and coffee creams, "Ah we'll keep them for the dog!!!"

Wouldn't mind but we never had a dog :rolleyes:

I'll be your dog!

i completely agree with OP

kfallon

Jaxxy wrote: »

I'll be your dog!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPIw_pJxe7o

Call round the 28th of December, btw one of each manky sweet will have a tooth mark in it as I just had to remind myself how manky they were and them wrapped them back up and fooked them back into the tin :P

Alice1

Coffee Creme and Bournville are gone? But I loooooved both of them - an' now I'm gonna stamp my foot an' scweam and scweam!

kfallon

Alice1 wrote: »

Coffee Creme and Bournville are gone? But I loooooved both of them - an' now I'm gonna stamp my foot an' scweam and scweam!

Bournville.....only good thing about them was they keep you 'regular'......sometimes too 'regular' :eek: :rolleyes:

Johro

abouttobebanned wrote: »

Every year I ask the same question, and every year I get more and more annoyed. Tonight, I put three boxes into the dock. Three boxes with serious questions to answer.

Box #1 Roses.

Or as the elders might call them….”Irish Roses”. Cadburys really don’t know what to do with roses. They continue to make an absolute balls of it. So much so that the National Lottery have gotten pissed off with them and ditched from the Hampers and Roses scratch card. Seriously…why can they not leave well enough alone?

There was a time when you could find some wonderous treats in a box of roses. There were unique, fun shapes, and there were undeniable morsels of confectionary heaven. There was also a family unity. A box of sweets working together to make a very special Christmas for one and all. Now all we have is a tin of sweets that barely acknowledge each other anymore. Probably because they don’t recognise each other. The strawberry one (my favourite) used to be in a strawberry shape…a nice touch I thought. The barrel was in a barrel (stood to reason)…the dairy mik and bournville were in mini bar form (you felt like a giant eating those ones). But nowadays the boys from Cadburys don’t know whether they’re coming or going. They bring in new sweets and take them out before we have time to decide if they’re worthy of a munch in front of our favourite Christmas Special. Two recent exampes include a little wine sweet that was just a bar with glassy crispy bits. I believe it had an orange flavoured twin as well. Both were sacked before they had a chance to shine. The bournville and coffee ones, otherwise known as “the unpopular two”, were booted out after years of loyal service. They may not have been everyone’s cup of tea but they were dedicated and dependable. The barrel is now no shape at all…people barely know that it’s there anymore. The dairy milk is now just two segments of a normal dairy milk. Where’s the fun in that? The roses has been tainted and no longer has the confidence to carry an Irish Christmas.

Box#2 The celebrations

First off, bravo on the nicest sweet of all. The teaser. Mars took a successful product and gave it a little twist, and now it’s the king of the sweets. But Christ…what are you doing with the rest of em? I took the liberty, for this exercise, to divide the box of celebrations into little groups, to see how many of each sweet we actually get. (I must add that I sucked on a twix while doing this) (ok I sucked on a twix while my girlfriend did this..she’s more the OCD type than I am). Anyway…



You will see that they’re threading with caution on their new addition. There’s barely a twix in there at all. I don’t see the point of the mars mysef…the topic has been fired this year…but why so many Milky Ways? Did you have some kind of surplus? Were you falling over milky ways in Mars Towers? Rotten little things. And don’t think for a second that by plying us with milky ways that we’ll forget that you’ve sneakily taken the truffles out of there. The one bit of luxury that we have over Christmas and you take it away from us. I don’t know what you’re playing at. Just give me a box of teasers next year please.

And finally, we come to the last box

Box #3 Miniature Heroes

Cadburys really don’t know what they’re up to hear. I didn’t like the concept from day one A box of mini versions of boring bars. Bars that were already released in “fun size” (who do they think they are telling us that they can measure fun btw), so they shrink them further and I’m supposed to be excited? I wasn’t. Until someone told me that they did something special with one of the bars. I tried it out of curiosity. And sure enough…yes..they had worked similar malteaser magic on the crunchie. A great concept became even better. Until they got rid of the fcuking thing.
You see, we used to have –

 Crunchie (The ace in the pack)
 Dairy Milk Whole Nut
 Dream (A great little addition)
 Flake
 Fuse
 Picnic (one of your 5 a day)
 Time Out (the 90s child)
 Bournville (good for ya!)

And now we’re stuck with

 Creme Egg Twisted (the crème egg only works as an egg)
 Dairy Milk (meh)
 Dairy Milk Caramel (the whole country already has a fridge full of fun sized caramels)
 Eclairs (meh)
 Fudge (who buys a fudge? People only eat them at Christmas in a selection box)
 Twirl (meh)

So yes, I’m a bit sad. But, is it too much to ask the companies to include a little survey in their boxes so they can let the public decide, once and for all, what we want in our box of chocolate Christmas treats?

Best post I've seen in a long time. So yes, I'm a bit sad. Meh.

Novella

Why is the Truffle no longer part of Celebrations? They were the yummiest.

BlaasForRafa

What kind of a ****ing christmas sweet census is this without Quality Street? The strange shaped one with the caramel and hazelnut in it is easily the superior christmas chocolate.

Wertz

Good work OP...the disappearnce of favourite sweets over the years has been a consternation of mine stretching back quite some time. Damn you quality street I demand to know the whereabouts of the hazelnut cracknel!

PrincessLola

Good Lord! I would be very interested to see your full research proposal.

Hrududu

They've even changed the type of chocolate used for Roses. They are nowhere near as nice as I remember them being. Plus its not as fun now that the Caramel Kegs are in a normal shaped wrapper. We'd get into proper fights over who got those.

There seem to be about 4 different types of caramel Roses now. I mean I like caramel and all, but a bit of variety wouldn't go amiss.