What are you looking at?

scotty_irish

Walking home last night after a few shandies, this fella goes to me what are you looking at. Is there any answer I can give to this that won't result in a punch? I figured I was gonna get punched regardless of what I said, so I said an ugly cu*t. I got punched.

What would you have said?

Eric Cartman

"the man who just won a bag of extacy tablets"

and thats when I gave him the roofies and sold his skin to catholic priests then flew away on a canoe made of his skeleton through the night sky on a beam made of rainbows circling the moon.

douglashyde

I don't know, but it's looking back.

Dotrel

The correct answer is : Are you fúckin startin?

(not really but he's more likely to back off than if you actually try to engage with him on any rational level)

listermint

There is not answer, youve to respond first and foremost with a crack to his jaw. Then follow up with the knee.









Or you could leg it..

woodoo

There is very little to say. He has already decided to provide you with a punch at that moment. He is just kind of warning you of whats on its way.You would need to come up with something really good to get out of it. Or else just run away if he is big.

Turtyturd

Don't answer, just stand there and start shaking while trying to bite your ear.

John Doe1

"You of course handsome" then a wink should follow like so;)

Sky King

I am looking at this picture which kinda reminds me of your auld wan and I don't know why

http://www.funonthenet.in/images/stories/forwards/morning%20glory%20spillway/Lake-Berryessa-2.jpg

Kevin Duffy

I would say "I was hoping you were a doctor and could cure my Leprosy". Keeps thugs away a treat.

Dotrel

Sky King wrote: »

I am looking at this picture which kinda reminds me of your auld wan and I don't know why

http://www.funonthenet.in/images/stories/forwards/morning%20glory%20spillway/Lake-Berryessa-2.jpg

That just leads to Question #2 : Wha you say abou my mah?

stovelid

Your answer was fine. Just add c#ntbag. And hit him back.

Lumbo

When I was younger I would always say "nothing".

When they asked again, I would say "I've already told you".

These days I'd just kick them in the nuts.

Abi

John Doe1 wrote: »

"You of course handsome" then a wink should follow like so;)

I'm fairly certain that would have turned that punch in the jaw he got to a kick in the bollix.








.

Bodhidharma

"That girl behind you with her t**s out"

Then run, or brain him when he turns around

spider guardian

"The big ugly birth mark on your face, of course"

MyKeyG

Start banging your head off the wall screaming 'Beelzebub Lord of darkness possess me'!!!

WindSock

Look them up and down as if they are nothing and then say 'nothing'

Then run like hell!

Or

aks them if they asked you something and who the fuk do they think they are talking to, because you have Alzheimers and forgotten.

Thrill

Pretend you misheard him and say "yeah..It looks like it's gonna rain alright"

InkSlinger67

You don't have to say anything in those situations OP. Just pull the chord on the rape alarm in your handbag and someone should come to your aid.

KTRIC

A quick jab to the head before anything else is said. Usually someone that says that is looking for a fight so best course of action is to end it quick smart.

christ on a bike!

"I don't know, I never studied wildlife"

John Doe1

Abi wrote: »

I'm fairly certain that would have turned that punch in the jaw he got to a kick in the bollix.








.

or some sweet sweet lovin:D

Kasabian

Alot of violence being suggested in AH tonight.

Kevin Duffy

Kasabian wrote: »

Alot of violence being suggested in AH tonight.

Yeh, got a ****in' problem with it pal??

saa

DE FÚK YOU LOOKIN AH DE FUUUH?
Answer: Headbutt.

Kasabian

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Yeh, got a ****in' problem with it pal??

I'll be in your door soon, you won't get a chance to discuss it.

Kevin Duffy

Kasabian wrote: »

I'll be in your door soon, you won't get a chance to discuss it.

Yah shouldna warned me, rookie mistake.....the last one you'll get a chance to make!

Biggins

scotty_irish wrote: »

Walking home last night after a few shandies, this fella goes to me what are you looking at. Is there any answer I can give to this that won't result in a punch? I figured I was gonna get punched regardless of what I said, so I said an ugly cu*t. I got punched.

What would you have said?

Something obscure like "time passing me by in never ending decreasing circles" and watch for his confused expression.

Kasabian

Biggins wrote: »

Something obscure like "time passing me by in never ending decreasing circles" and watch for his confused expression.

Feeling old Biggins?

Kasabian

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Yah shouldna warned me, rookie mistake.....the last one you'll get a chance to make!

Sleep well :pac:

Biggins

Kasabian wrote: »

Feeling old Biggins?

Not just feeling it.

ejmaztec

If he's less than five feet tall I'd tell him that I'm looking at ten years for GBH. If he's taller than that, I'll run down the road screaming like a girl.

Latchy

Easy OP , you reply

'' Ah Jasus Sean ...is it yourself ? ...how are ya keeping ?...how's your Ma '' ?

He will be so confused happy you asked about his mothers welfare to argue with you .

MyKeyG

Walk up to him and say 'Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around my eyes, look into my eyes, and you're under'.

papajimsmooth

Into the endless darkness that is my life


Or i dunno its ear tag fell of

amacca

q: what are you looking at

a: the wall, the sky, the cityscape at nighttime, the street light, you when you attracted my attention by interrupting my peaceful walk home with your unusually direct question.....the human eye is capable of detecting so much in such a short space of time..did you mean what was I looking at at the moment you started your question or beforehand?............why do you ask...what benefit is it to you to know what a complete stranger is looking at.....I dont really care but as a matter of interest what were you looking at?

well now you can look at the sole of my boot scum!!!!!

(I've always wanted to do something like this but in reality I would probably try to avoid the inevitable confrontation by ignoring him or saying sorry if that didn't work etc and walking on safe in the knowledge that if he did corner me and I thought he was a threat physically and I had no other option I'd gouge his eyes out for him before asking him what he was looking at)

scotty_irish

I should add some cultural context. I live in Glasgow. And he was bigger than me. What reply can I give?

Also, I could've chosen a better route home.

DonkeyStyle \o/

scotty_irish wrote: »

What would you have said?

Nothing. It's a rhetorical question that means "Stop walking so I can punch you."

Similarly asking for a smoke is just a euphemism for asking you to stop long enough to for them to explain the terms of the mugging they're about to carry out.

Stiffler2

Nah, my favourite is

"Do you have a fuc**n problem"

No

"Do you want a fuc**n problem?"

Snakeblood

'Please don't hurt me, I bruise like a peach'.

I'm hoping for the turn away in disgust option.

foxyboxer

Atoms.

Rwood

You could try to get some enjoyment out of the punch you are about to get and make a statement along the lines of "a wonder of evolution" and when he asks "wha" just tell him a./ "The tallest pile of s*&te in a built up environment in the western world" or b:/ "the scrapings from the bottom of the gene pool" or c:/ "I don't really know I'm not an anthropologist but I'm not too sure whether or not it's an intelligent life form".
Then have a grin to yourself while you await the punch or attempt to break the land speed record

Scanlas The 2nd

Confusion is the best bet.

Something along the lines " In Belgium the bananas trees grow away from the sun, I never understood that" and keep walking as if all is normal.

RichieC

Id just assume my fight stance and ensure he at least gets a bloody nose.

Feisar

No reply.

Either run like the wind or fight like a berserk animal.

Its to about "winning" a street altercation. It's about surviving one.

Wattle

Mace the cnut

Feisar

How come this sort of stuff never happens me?
Best I ever got was being called gay in a chipper years ago when I was out after my leaving cert.

al28283

my next victim!

NothingMan

Just close your eyes, cover your ears and yell "Don't touch me, I have an erection".

You may still get punched but at least you can call him gay after for touching a man with an erection.

Shiner11

I would have rubbed my hands all over ur mans face and pretend to be blind.
Gouge him in the eyes a few times while saying, "Thomas, is that you?"
Then stumble away down the road until you're out of sight.