Experiencing sheer cheek from strangers.

Storminateacup

Ladies, share!

I'm going to share mine from last night. My blood is boiling this morning still, thinking about it.

Myself and my baby went shopping in Dublin yesterday, and on the train, on the way home, there was a rough looking man sitting a couple of seats ahead of me. He was up and down like a yoyo and each time he passed my seat he seemed to stop and stare, and when I would look at him, he would smile and walk away.

As the train was approaching a station, he came over to me and asked me for a cigarette. I said I didn't smoke and he proceeded to tell me that he only wanted a smoke "for f sake" while the train was stopped.

He walked off grumbling and about 15 minutes later he walked back down to me (I had my phone out the entire journey texting my fiancée) asking to use my phone to call his sister. O was in the middle of sending a text and he's saying how he really needed to call his sister and how he would only be a minute on the phone. I explain he can use it when I finished sending the text and he actually told me to hurry up??

By now, I wa angry but yknow let him use the phone and get him away from me and my baby. I doalled the number for him and handed it to him. I sat back expecting him to explain how he was on someone elses phone and give her the train details or where to pick him up.

Oh no. Instead he settled in for a full conversation. Asking how she was, what she was doing, how someone in the hospital was, explaining he was in Dublin for the day, saying how he was going to see a solicitor on Monday to try see his kids for Xmas, asking how her new washing machine was going.

By now I was livid, so I stood up and signalled I wanted my phone back, he actually told me "one minute". I demanded it back right away an he took about 3 minutes to say his goodbyes and to give it back. But instead of thanking me for the phone, he threw it at me (with my daughter in my arms) and said "delete that number now".

I could not believe it. How rude

WindSock

Well, he seemed rough from his initial interaction about the fag, that seems like a good enough indication that he would be a pain in the hole. Luckily you got your phone back.

ElleEm

WindSock wrote: »

Well, he seemed rough from his initial interaction about the fag, that seems like a good enough indication that he would be a pain in the hole. Luckily you got your phone back.

Definitely. I would have moved seat! You're mad for giving him your phone. I would never trust a stranger with my phone.

Shelga

No way I would have given him my phone! Would have told him where to go, sounds like a horrible guy.

CorkBabe33

I would have told him to f-off, no way would I have given a stranger, let alone someone who was behaving like that, my phone. I hope his sister (if thats who he was really onto) was somewhere local or it could be costly. Not to mention the fact that your number could now be on the other phone if they were the sort to start pestering someone with prank calls etc.... If I was you, I'd keep a record of the number he called, just in case - especially when he made such a point of telling you to delete it.

parker kent

Trains seem to have a few problems with anti-social behaviour during the day time. The train that I used to get had similar issues with a group walking up and down the train. They'd occasionally hassle people as well and I heard them having a stand-up row with a young girl whose crime seemed to be looking at them. I got the "wot are you looking at?!" treatment as well. They had regular trips into the bathroom as well and came out a little "buzzed. I wonder what was going on in there...hmm :P

I complained to Irish Rail and got a reply about 6 months later. Although somebody did contact a newspaper about it and an article was printed about the anti-social behaviour on the train. They have security men for a bit on it, but I haven't had to take it in about 9 months so I've no idea what it is like now. OP, by the sounds of your post I think stuff like this is still hassling innocent commuters.

GT_TDI_150

Expect to see yourself on 'Anonymouse' with Jason Byrne

mr.wiggle

You should take this experience as a lesson learned.
Sometimes its nice to be nice, but as you found out with
this horrible person, this is seen as a weakness and certain
personalities will try and exploit this kindness in you.
You can be sure this type of thing happens regulary , and
you're not alone in being abused for being kind.
It's really turning into a dog eat dog country out there in
public, and the only way to deal with it, is to have a tough exterior
on your trips out,to keep you and your baby safe.:(

If guns were legal in this country i'd definetly have one on me
each time i go out with my family TBH.
( I know, its a personal 'extreme' opinion, so don't jump
on me for having it please )


Mr.W.

harrythehat

What an ignorant pr1ck!!!

starlit

Hey Storminatesoup,

It was very rude of him to have asked you at all. Considering you were minding your baby he assumed you have a cigarette if anything he shouldn't have bothered you at all.

Sounds to me he might have a personality disorder.

Why he even asked to use your phone after asking you for cigarette is beyond belief. He shouldn't have asked a complete stranger to use their phone who ever it was to ring. If he wanted his sister to collect him that's all he should have said. Its an invasion of your privacy the way he treated you and your baby. If I were in your shoes I wouldn't have given him the phone. I would just have asked for the sisters number wrote a text for him or he wouldn't have had the phone at all. If he had a genuine excuse that he didn't have a phone or was out of credit it be understandable but the fact he came back to you again asked for your phone to ring his sister was a bit ridiculous. You had a child with you he should have been more courteous.

He didn't even say thanks but its ok for him to tell you to hurry up with the phone when you were texting your fiancée. How rude of him and bad manners. He acted like a child throwing the phone at you. How dare he do that. Its not right that treated you like and your baby like that. Throwing a phone at a baby that could have scared your child or you or your child could have got hurt. If he had any sense he shouldn't do that again to anyone. Anyone I have come across like that I avoid them or ignore them unless they are looking for directions but if some randomer says hello how are ya I be like in my own mind 'walk away quick'.

If I were you I probably report it in case it happens again. Throwing a phone at you and your baby is not on. Its not right. He should get community service or a summons of some sort for doing that.

He was just being a ignoramus probably mad at the fact you have a child and he doesn't get to see his except at xmas which boils down to his insecurities, jealousy, childish behaviour and immaturity, lack of courtesy for others. He asks you for your phone out of everyone on the train. Just crazy why couldn't he have asked someone else. I would mention to the wardens at the train station to keep an eye out in case he hassles people like that again.

He was just so ignorant. I would have ignored him full stop or at least have said 'I am busy looking after my child so please leave us alone'.

He might have been from the country or something otherwise just a lost soul to be honest.

Think it be wise to record the number in case you need to track it or anything. You don't know who he really was talking to on the phone.
Very immature of him having hogged your phone like that when it was just so his sister would collect him almost seemed like they hadn't spoken for years or hadn't told her he was coming or the misfortune could have a ailing problem or could be on the run??

The main thing you and your baby are safe and you got your phone back without too much major hassle.

Tigger99

I think that its possible to overthink this man's actions.

He spotted you with your phone and your baby and maybe thought you were a soft target- which you were to be fair, giving him your phone like you did. He chanced his arm and it worked.

Tbh not only were you lucky to get your phone back, you were lucky he didn't get aggressive with you. You might want to be more discreet with your phone around weirdos on public transport. I prob come across as harsh, but all I can think of is what could have happened you.

Cherry Blossom Girl

Jaysus he had some nerve! Lucky you got your phone back!
As for me, a few days ago I was in Heathrow waiting for the train to take me from one terminal to another. I was travelling with my boyfriend his mam and little sister (3 yrs)
We were going through one of the turnstile things to get to the platform when bfs mam said she needed help with the buggy so I turned back and stood beside the turnstile to wait while he helped her.
Just as I was going to stand beside the turnstile, a lady (about 30) about to go through the turnstile bumped into me and goes 'ugh, move!' :eek: not even an excuse me or an apology for bumping me!
Let me make it clear that I was not blocking the turnstile and it was not busy, there were 3 other empty turnstiles she could have used!
If it wasn't so early in the morning I would have said something tO her, but I just didn't have the energy for a confrontation. I really wish I had now though, I still cannot believe the cheek of her!

saa

Bright__Eyes wrote: »

bumped into me and goes 'ugh, move!' :eek: not even an excuse me or an apology for bumping me!
Let me make it clear that I was not blocking the turnstile and it was not busy,

Well that's big cities for you, usually over here both parties end up apologising over nothing.

I was in Venice queuing up for tickets that lady had given me one instead of two before I walked away elbows on the counter someone behind me physically pushed me away, in fairness that happened to me I got pushed back in a queue at Heuston by a gang! of OAPS. ha.



The word here would be rude more than cheeky, when I think fo cheeky I think of people commenting about you in a negative way in private or in public. i.e just because I have purple hair everyone can say whatever they like about it and me.

Posy

Someone asked before to use my phone to call someone when I was at a bus stop. I just asked 'Is it a landline you want to call or a mobile network' They told me it was a vodafone number and I just said 'Sorry, I've no credit to call that network.'

It was a lie, but I would never hand over my phone to somebody else ever!! :eek:

Cellygirl

Unless it's an emergency - a call an ambulance emergency - the correct response to 'Can I use your phone' is 'God, sorry, I've no credit at all, I'm waiting for me fella to send me some' and then look away!

Sounds like a horrible experience, glad you're ok.

johnr1

doovdela wrote: »

He might have been from the country or something otherwise just a lost soul to be honest.

:eek::eek: WHAT THE F**K ? How dare you !!:mad:

Post reported for this stupidity and ignorance.

southsiderosie

Cellygirl wrote: »

Unless it's an emergency - a call an ambulance emergency - the correct response to 'Can I use your phone' is 'God, sorry, I've no credit at all, I'm waiting for me fella to send me some' and then look away!

Sounds like a horrible experience, glad you're ok.

Why is the correct response not simply "No."

Cellygirl

Because 'no' is usually followed by 'Why not?' or more abuse. And you have to get into a conversation with them.

'I've no credit' is easier and usually gets them off your back!

Storminateacup

I know it's what I should have done, upon reflection. I just didn't think, when he was right in front of me. I thought he just needed to organise a pickup or something but he was calling for a full blown conversation.

southsiderosie

Cellygirl wrote: »

Because 'no' is usually followed by 'Why not?' or more abuse. And you have to get into a conversation with them.

'I've no credit' is easier and usually gets them off your back!

Asking to use a stranger's phone when it is not a dire emergency is an absurd request, and I'd have no problem simply saying no. If they kept pushing, I would tell them to fcuk off - I have done it before.

People in Ireland are too nice.

Lorrs33

I work in retail and I get so much hassle. Be glad that was a once-off because I have to do it all over again tomorrow

Chuck Stone

You should have said 'stay there a second I just have to make a call'

'Hello? Is that the Gardai? I'm being harassed by a man on the train I wonder if you could send a car to the next stop because I feeling kinda scared'.

southsiderosie

southsiderosie wrote: »

Asking to use a stranger's phone when it is not a dire emergency is an absurd request, and I'd have no problem simply saying no. If they kept pushing, I would tell them to fcuk off - I have done it before.

People in Ireland are too nice.

I think this overlaps the assertiveness thread

Ickle Magoo

doovdela warned for flaming. Suggesting someone has a personality disorder or is from the country is inflammatory - please avoid making statements likely to offend.

johnr1, if you have an issue with a post or poster then please stick to reporting it to the relevant moderators for actioning rather than reacting or announcing you are reporting which just serves to drag the thread off-topic.

If folks haven't already done so - please familiarise yourself with the forum charter here and Boards general posting rules and etiquette here

Many thanks.

RxQueen

doovdela wrote: »

He might have been from the country or something otherwise just a lost soul to be honest.

Ehhh what has him being from "the country" have to do with it? Amazinling enough we DO know how to be civil, and how to act in public . Oh and we recently discovered that wonderful invention called "a mobile phone of our own"

Eve_Dublin

Storminateacup wrote: »

I know it's what I should have done, upon reflection. I just didn't think, when he was right in front of me. I thought he just needed to organise a pickup or something but he was calling for a full blown conversation.

Hindsight is a great thing. You acted on your instinct to help which is a lovely trait (see my other thread!), so don't beat yourself up over it. Obviously this guy was rude and didn't deserve your help but when you're caught off guard like that, you don't alwasy react how you should. Next time...

If it's any consolation, I got spat on the other day for asking someone to move out of a doorway. Some people are just pricks. Whaddayagonnado!

ballsymchugh

Bright__Eyes wrote: »

Jaysus he had some nerve! Lucky you got your phone back!
As for me, a few days ago I was in Heathrow waiting for the train to take me from one terminal to another. I was travelling with my boyfriend his mam and little sister (3 yrs)
We were going through one of the turnstile things to get to the platform when bfs mam said she needed help with the buggy so I turned back and stood beside the turnstile to wait while he helped her.
Just as I was going to stand beside the turnstile, a lady (about 30) about to go through the turnstile bumped into me and goes 'ugh, move!' :eek: not even an excuse me or an apology for bumping me!
Let me make it clear that I was not blocking the turnstile and it was not busy, there were 3 other empty turnstiles she could have used!
If it wasn't so early in the morning I would have said something tO her, but I just didn't have the energy for a confrontation. I really wish I had now though, I still cannot believe the cheek of her!

people like that just haven't been told to f**k off in a long time. i bet you if you did say that, she'd probably be annoying her own friends about how rudely she was treated earlier. some people just don't deserve others to be mannerly towards them.

Opinicus

There are a serious amount of thick ignorant arseholes in this country. If one lays a hand on me I have no problem defending myself but I wouldn't get physical over some words, I just get as thick and ignorant back at them.

I take comfort in the fact that the gob****e that is pissing me off will no doubt push his luck someday with another ****ing psycho hardman and they can try and put each other in hospital. I'm not going to court to pay these ****ers compensation.




PS: Can anyone guess what my job is?

Storminateacup

Bouncer

Opinicus

Close.

Barman, but it's a small rural bar so I'm also the bouncer when I need to be:D

starlit

My apologies if I have offended anyone. Its just the impression I got of the man that's all I didn't mean any harm. I am from the country myself should have phrased it better that he might never been to Dublin before and doesn't know the city well that's all I implied. Sorry if taken offence, will try to be mindful in future.

johnr1

doovdela wrote: »

My apologies if I have offended anyone. Its just the impression I got of the man that's all I didn't mean any harm. I am from the country myself should have phrased it better that he might never been to Dublin before and doesn't know the city well that's all I implied. Sorry if taken offence, will try to be mindful in future.

And clearly very proud of it given your Location status.:rolleyes:

Starokan

don't be angry with yourself op, you just came across a total clown, you were decent enough to try help someone out who needed to make a call.

Even if you gave him the phone because you were nervous it was still a nice thing. he abused your generosity.

It may have all been for the best as if you had said no he could have scaled up his aggressive manner towards you and given that you had a baby with you this would not have been good.

You should have a word with the one of the staff the next time you are on the train, its possible that they will know of him if others have complained before. They have the remit to prevent him travelling on the trains in future if they wish.

Posy

As other posters have pointed out, hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

Hopefully, you won't be in this type of situation again, but if you are you'll know how to handle it better.. the important thing is you and your baby are fine, you weren't robbed or anything and still have your phone.

chickenbutt

Reading that makes me so angry! I would have had some words with him if it was me.

I am more inclined to let someone borrow my phone for a minute depending on the situation. I once was visiting some friends, was waiting for them in the train station to meet for over an hour and they still didn't come and since I didn't have a phone or knew where I was going I had to ask a total stranger just to make a quick call. She was a bit rude and said she knew karate (um, ok?) but let me use it (no one picked up). I wasn't even thinking of stealing her phone! Just was desperate and on the verge of tears! Was grateful she let me use her phone (I even offered to pay her a couple quid). Anyway, point being, not everyone is a psycho! Unfortunately you ran into a totally rude person

Ickle Magoo

johnr1 wrote: »

And clearly very proud of it given your Location status.:rolleyes:

johnr1 warned for ignoring on-thread request.

You have already been given a warning about dragging the thread off-topic. If you have nothing to contribute the discussion kindly refrain from posting.

sh1tstirrer

parker kent wrote: »

I got the "wot are you looking at?!" treatment as well.

The reply I give to that question is "not much"

kerash

Put it down to experience op and you'll be prepared for the next time. I have developed various strategies for avoiding these kinds of situations as I've had to travel more frequently on public transport.