i dont no what to do food is ruining my life

fairylauren

hi guys,
im not sure if im in the right section here but anyway i just need to get this off my chest.. since i was a teen i was always a little overweight i always went from a stone to a stone and a half over my ideal weight. Then i lost weight with WW and exercise and got down to my goal weight, but even when i did i still felt really paranoid about how i looked. Then i met my now husband and we had a baby boy and during my pregnancy i put on 5 stone. My boy is now 2 and a half and all though ive managed to lose 2 stone i just cant seem to get anywhere else. I have been extreme dieting and i could lose a stone in 2 weeks and then binge eat and put on over a stone in the next 2 weeks, this has been happening since the summer, before that i would diet then binge and maybe throw up, im not bulimic i dnt throw up anymore, i dnt want rot my teeth and i also read that you dnt actually lose weight anyway. I feel hungry all the time, i think about food all the time, i obsess all day about the way i look, i dnt go out anymore and i dont get intimate with my husband anymore. i feel disgusting i actually feel my stomach twist up when i look at myself in the mirror or see pictures of myself, i really cant stand thhe way i look i hate it it makes me sad and it makes me angry. I have tried WW several times and failed, ive tried shake diets i exercise everyday unless i feel as bad as im feeling the last few days. i keep trying to convince myself that i should just accept im just one of life's fat unattractive people. But i just cant. Its in my mind all the time, i am constantly thinking about my weigh, it never goes away, when people are talking to me i hear a voice in my head saying they are looking at how disgusting you are. I hate it but i dnt no how to stop it. Maybe i sound shallow and people will tell me to focus on the good things in my life and i do but i just cant get this out of my head, i cant help the excessive dieting and then the binging. its out of control, i feel like 2 different people. Is there anyone who can relate to me ??

Padmund

Hi Lauren,

Being overweight can have such a negative impact on our lives. Wether we put on weight through bad eating choices, lack of exercise, following pregnancy or whatever the reason - getting back to where you would like to be isnt easy.

One of the key strenghts people need to lose weight is the mental strenght to see something through. trying diets over and over and jumping from one diet to the next indicates a lack of commitment to the actual solution to a persons weight. There are many diets out there some work some dont, personally I have tried WW, Slimming World, total meal replacement, have food packages delivered etc - but in the end the only thing that made me lose weight was the following:

1) Eating heatlhy - virtually cutting out all the bad foods. This sounds simple, and you know what ... is it !! People totally over complicated eating healthily with havign to count points and this that or the other, but almost everyone knows how to eat healthily but very few, especially those overweight put it into practice... why ? its easier not to. Bad food is usually cheaper, can seem tastier and more convienent. Overweight people are usually the most well educated on exactly what foods to eat or avoid !


2) Exercsie - this does not need to be extreme, but for myself I was lucky to have huge support in terms of ensuring i did work out etc for a certain period but then I had to go it alone and keep it up. I was working 2 jobs, one full time one part time so 7 day a week I was in work, but i still made time for the gym 6 days a week. now already i bet you are thinking of reasons you cant do this ? money, time, friends, family etc.... its time to make YOU the priority and decide on the times of the week you will exercise, it dont have to be in a gym but this may help. an exercise class a few times a week, even just out walking, get the family involved. at least 3-4 times a week for weight loss for at least an hour each time.

3) Mental attitude - as touched on above - this is the key. you probably have already tried point 1 and 2 somewhat with previous diets but as you say yourself it has not worked long term, as mentally you didnt see it through. thinking seriously - which it now sounds like you are, about why you want to lose weight, seeing it as a reality, visualising the new you and how you will be with friends and family are all very important and something to do regularly. maybe write your goals down and stuck them somewhere to review weekly so you can remind yourself what you are working towards.


I know it's not easy, trust me I 100% can relate to every word you have said, however it's not complicated. It's our fears, priorities and lifestyle that prevent us from reaching our weight loss goals, its them that needs the focus and attention as once you get control of them and make that mental shift that YOU need to come first then food and exercise will become easier to see through until you reach your goals.

I lost 8 stone in 9 months through a HECK of a lot of exercise and healthy eating, having tried every diet under the sun. what changed was the attitude I had towards myself, and this is what seen me through it.

You deserve to succeed and you deserve to put you first.

Only you can make it happen, but equally its you who control the excuses as to why you cant.

Best of luck

Paddy
x

Penn

The problem is the excessive dieting. Weight loss isn't something that can be done over a week or two. If you make small changes now, you'll be less likely to want to binge and you'll be getting enough nutrition to satisfy yourself. Then the weight will gradually keep coming off. There's no quick-fix solution, but it's not a difficult solution either. I'm sure others here can advise you better on your diet than I can, but your excessive dieting is causing the binges. Just start off slow, cut out sweets etc and cut down on carbs like white bread and potatoes. Replace with something healthier. Thats a good starting point anyway.

Good luck. Losing weight sounds really easy, but the hardest thing to get past is the roadblocks your own mind puts up. You can lose weight, so long as you do it the right way.

who what when

fairylauren wrote: »

I have been extreme dieting and i could lose a stone in 2 weeks and then binge eat and put on over a stone in the next 2QUOTE]

Do the first part again but this time leave out the second part. And maybe make the dieting a little less extreme. If its too extreme its harmful.

I know this sounds over simplistic but loosing weight is not complicated, its hard work, thats why people fail at it!

fairylauren

thanks guys, i do no what you are saying put i have tried everything, writing down the goals and eating small meals and low carbs and food diarys and trying to stay commited etc, ive spent most of my life dieting. i ve spent most of my life hating my appearance. i cant explain it and i no i can put up excuses but my head is so messed up at the moment i wish i did get so hungry to the point where i feel sick because i stop eating all together i hate food i hate diets i hate the effect its having on me. ive tried everything you guys have said and failed over and over and over again. like i said its like being 2 different people one who knows she can do it and the other who cant control the binging.

fairylauren

who what when wrote: »

fairylauren wrote: »

I have been extreme dieting and i could lose a stone in 2 weeks and then binge eat and put on over a stone in the next 2QUOTE]

Do the first part again but this time leave out the second part. And maybe make the dieting a little less extreme. If its too extreme its harmful.

I know this sounds over simplistic but loosing weight is not complicated, its hard work, thats why people fail at it!

i know its hard work ive done it before so whats wrecking my head is how its all gone out of control and i cant do it anymore. forget it guys i do know what your saying but im probably just not explaining myself properly here, how could i when i cant understand it myself.

G86

fairylauren wrote: »

hi guys,
im not sure if im in the right section here but anyway i just need to get this off my chest.. since i was a teen i was always a little overweight i always went from a stone to a stone and a half over my ideal weight. Then i lost weight with WW and exercise and got down to my goal weight, but even when i did i still felt really paranoid about how i looked. Then i met my now husband and we had a baby boy and during my pregnancy i put on 5 stone. My boy is now 2 and a half and all though ive managed to lose 2 stone i just cant seem to get anywhere else. I have been extreme dieting and i could lose a stone in 2 weeks and then binge eat and put on over a stone in the next 2 weeks, this has been happening since the summer, before that i would diet then binge and maybe throw up, im not bulimic i dnt throw up anymore, i dnt want rot my teeth and i also read that you dnt actually lose weight anyway. I feel hungry all the time, i think about food all the time, i obsess all day about the way i look, i dnt go out anymore and i dont get intimate with my husband anymore. i feel disgusting i actually feel my stomach twist up when i look at myself in the mirror or see pictures of myself, i really cant stand thhe way i look i hate it it makes me sad and it makes me angry. I have tried WW several times and failed, ive tried shake diets i exercise everyday unless i feel as bad as im feeling the last few days. i keep trying to convince myself that i should just accept im just one of life's fat unattractive people. But i just cant. Its in my mind all the time, i am constantly thinking about my weigh, it never goes away, when people are talking to me i hear a voice in my head saying they are looking at how disgusting you are. I hate it but i dnt no how to stop it. Maybe i sound shallow and people will tell me to focus on the good things in my life and i do but i just cant get this out of my head, i cant help the excessive dieting and then the binging. its out of control, i feel like 2 different people. Is there anyone who can relate to me ??

OP, I've highlighted some really worrying statements, and I really think you need to talk to a professional before this escalates further. You're stuck in a cycle at the moment and you need to get out of it if you're going to be able to maintain a healthy eating plan, which is going to be difficult with the negative mindset you have at the moment. I know it's hard knowing that there's no easy fix, and that even if you start today it could take weeks before you see any difference, but you have to realise that it'll all be worth it in the end - and if you stick to it you WILL see massive improvements in your weight and how you feel about yourself. That said, I don't think just losing weight is the answer to your problems, you seem to have a very low opinion of yourself and that's not just going to vanish as soon as you drop the weight. I really do think you should talk to someone, be it your GP or a counsellor, or even someone from http://www.bodywhys.ie. I'm not saying you have an eating disorder, but you do have a very unhealthy relationship with food and it's something you need to get a hold of now before it gets any worse.

You have a husband and a beautiful baby boy who I'm sure love you just as you are; you just need to learn to love yourself too first and foremost. And then you can sort out the rest.

metamorphosis

I really echo what G86 has said and would ask you to get in touch with Marino therapy clinic in Dublin too.

All the best OP but I dont think any of us here can really help you