Out of date johnnies

ardinn

Whats the deal with expiry dates on condoms - just found 12 packs in an office that I'm renting and they all expired in march :mad:

retalivity

i was out of d nine johnnies once but i ended up grand

FearDark

They turn to dust after 4 years, tried it once, riding this one with an expired rubber one night and when I came a plume of smoke literally came shooting out of her vag.

True story bro.

Senna

Yeah i wouldn't eat them either.

amacachi

Are you sure that's not a Tayto bag? I wouldn't worry, it refers to the crisps, the bag's fine to use.

bodhrandude

If they are quite edible though they can make a nice jelly.

ardinn

Just compared it to a fresh one - they look the same - but they sure do smell bad!!!

psychward

You're in luck. You wont' need to buy balloons for decoration this christmas.

Arawn

Is this office also known as your bedroom.



Never had condoms anywhere near that long, scarlet for ya mate

ardinn

36 condoms wasted - im in shock and awe at the total disregard - I looked it up and its because they may become brittle - ONS only then - thought they might rot me knob off - We shall call these holiday johnnies

psychward

sounds like your office used to be a massage parlour ... or a constituency office

ardinn

I dont tink so but anyone who was actually getting laid would have taken these - tosser!!!

Saila

at least you'll get a dozen posh **** out of them

Ruu_Old

Just use a crisp bag!

ardinn

Saila wrote: »

at least you'll get a dozen posh **** out of them

12 PACKS - Thats 36

Arianna_26

ardinn wrote: »

Whats the deal with expiry dates on condoms - just found 12 packs in an office that I'm renting and they all expired in march :mad:

Yeah they have an expiry date, I wouldn't push it if I were you!

Saila

ardinn wrote: »

12 PACKS - Thats 36

fuck off its 3 30am

mickrock

Saila wrote: »

at least you'll get a dozen posh **** out of them

Yes, and if you start collecting your precious bodily fluids and put them into a jam jar you've got an interesting new hobby.

psychward

we need to find some creative uses for the johnnies. survivalists use them as water bags . or you could donate them to your local parochial house

Saila

mickrock wrote: »

Yes, and if you start collecting your precious bodily fluids and put them into a jam jar you've got an interesting new hobby.

is the new hobby swap the jam jar at breakfast?

Saila

psychward wrote: »

we need to find some creative uses for the johnnies. survivalists use them as water bags . or you could donate them to your local parochial house

I remember bear grylls used one in one of the episodes cant remember what for though

psychward

Saila wrote: »

I remember bear grylls used one in one of the episodes cant remember what for though

It gets lonely out there in the wilds :pac:

The Scientician

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwNxIS4mlQU

Arianna_26

What's with the 'd ate johnnies' title anyway, op'? Does it really cost you that much time to explain properly to people that you have out-of-date condoms?

psychward

she looks like shes handled a condom before

mickrock

Arianna_26 wrote: »

What's with the 'd ate johnnies' title anyway, op'?

Why is there an apostrophe before the question mark? Shoddy.

NoHornJan

If they're the flavoured type, you can use them as chewing gum.
And they make great big bubbles.

Arianna_26

mickrock wrote: »

Why is there an apostrophe before the question mark? Shoddy.

Well I understood the 'Out of' bit.

bronte

Try and pull one all the way over your head*.
It's humorous looking.

*The one on your shoulders

stupidusername

psychward wrote: »

she looks like shes handled a condom before

She's probably had sex before :eek: the filthy whoor!

OP can't use them for sex apparently but 36posh ****?

CardBordWindow

psychward wrote: »

she looks like shes handled a condom before

And I bet she's naked under them clothes, the filthy whore!

Gummy Panda

stupidusername wrote: »

psychward wrote: »

she looks like shes handled a condom before

She's probably had sex before :eek: the filthy whoor!

I'm shocked and amazed

Sky King

ardinn wrote: »

Whats the deal with expiry dates on condoms - just found 12 packs in an office that I'm renting and they all expired in march :mad:

Bring the condoms back to whoever you rented them from and demand fresh ones, or a refund.

Consumer affairs forum tbh ---->

Swampy

Bring them into a shop and ask can you swap for another type. They won't check the date and some unsuspecting sucker will buy the old ones with hilarious results.

Sky King

Swampy wrote: »

Bring them into a shop and ask can you swap for another type. They won't check the date and some unsuspecting sucker will buy the old ones with hilarious results.

A very consciencious sucker by the sounds of it....

sbsquarepants

You do know the difference between out of date and used don't you?:eek:

JerryHandbag

Here's an out of date Johnnie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCWiDFG57Ws

Ellis Dee

CardBordWindow wrote: »

And I bet she's naked under them clothes, the filthy whore!

We're all naked under our clothes. :):)

Not as bad as finding an out of date condom in your wallet.

earpiece

My Mum and Dad say's don't use them.... then they we're really mean and told me to not call round again. :mad: