Where Do I Find a Wife

Newsite

So....I thought that it could be good to lighten the mood round here

Now - I'm a fairly young buck, but am without girlfriend or wife.

Couple of things:

1) How do I go about finding a person of the fairer gender to get to know me better...who is also a Christian believer...who I also find attractive...and who is single? What percentage of the Irish population is that...0.0001% maybe?!

2) How did you find your significant other, and are they a believer like you?!

PDN

I guess the best place for a Christian guy to find a wife is in church. In the church circles I move in it's fairly common for youth & young adult groups from different churches to meet up for concerts and other events.

You are at an advantage in being male - since women tend to out number men in most churches.

Newsite

PDN wrote: »

You are at an advantage in being male - since women tend to out number men in most churches.

Score

Corkfeen

I think there's just something extremely messed up about this logic. Is it so wrong to marry a person that's not a Christian? I'm an atheist but I don't search specifically for someone who is specifically an Atheist, in fact I couldn't care less what religion (No disbelief requirement :O ) they are. I could somewhat understand this fifty years ago but alas it is not fifty years ago. So Newsite, open up your options to all faiths (or lack of faiths) and then you'll have far more variety. :pac: *Prepares to be slaughtered*

D500B

PDN wrote: »

You are at an advantage in being male - since women tend to out number men in most churches.

hilarious.

Most churches seem to have an active music section often with plenty of young women - of course if you don't play anything...

Is it necessary that the person has the same level of religious practice or just that they have the same moral views?

Newsite

Corkfeen wrote: »

I think there's just something extremely messed up about this logic. Is it so wrong to marry a person that's not a Christian? I'm an atheist but I don't search specifically for someone who is specifically an Atheist, in fact I couldn't care less what religion (No disbelief requirement :O ) they are. I could somewhat understand this fifty years ago but alas it is not fifty years ago. So Newsite, open up your options to all faiths (or lack of faiths) and then you'll have far more variety. :pac: *Prepares to be slaughtered*

D500B wrote: »

Is it necessary that the person has the same level of religious practice or just that they have the same moral views?

I'm not sure how it could work to be honest...

2 Corinthians 6:14 '"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"

lmaopml

My husband, Newsite, is Catholic, but perhaps doesn't have the same 'interest' in understanding every single detail like I do about everything.... To be honest, he has his beliefs and I know he is genuine, he probably has better faith, truth be told than I do...it's all very simple to him..no politics, just livin his life and not making excuses for it to anybody, but he does have 'faith'...

It frustrates me sometimes..lol...but, at the same time, I do admire his serenity in very many things and his philosophy. I think that's why it works, we're not the same, but we have many similarities.

Don't limit yourself, as my Dad once told me, 'Don't let anybody take away your faith, or your identity, there will always be somebody looking to, know yourself first..'...There's a perfect fit and that involves a perfect compromise at times to make it work. Says the 'sage' lmaopml... hehe...

Good luck with the 'wife' hunting - that's got to be a 'new' topic on Christianity

Corkfeen

Newsite, what age are you out of interest? This is genuinely absurd, so you're telling me that if you fell in love with a woman that was a Jew for example, you would refuse to marry her on the grounds she isn't Christian. This is just one of those examples of Christianity having far too much of an impact on everyday life. I just hate this idea that some Christians have, that those that do not believe what they do are destined to spend their time in eternal damnation purely because their geographical location indoctrinated them with a different faith. And to think people question my atheism. :pac:

Fanny Cradock

Corkfeen wrote: »

Newsite, what age are you out of interest? This is genuinely absurd, so you're telling me that if you fell in love with a woman that was a Jew for example, you would refuse to marry her on the grounds she isn't Christian. This is just one of those examples of Christianity having far too much of an impact on everyday life. I just hate this idea that some Christians have, that those that do not believe what they do are destined to spend their time in eternal damnation purely because their geographical location indoctrinated them with a different faith. And to think people question my atheism. :pac:

It's hardly surprising that an atheist would put such little stock in religious faith. But I'm afraid that you are just going to have to get over the fact that people of the same beliefs - whether it's Christianity, political activism, atheism (see the threads on the A&A forum dealing with relationships with religious people) - will look to have relationships with each other. This might even be at the expense of relationship with somebody not of the same beliefs.

While completely off topic, it just as well that Christians - some of us at least - don't believe that salvation is determined ultimately by geographical location. Some atheists apparently think differently.

mikemac

Join the choir OP, you'll have lots of women there

If there is no choir in your parish, start one :cool:

Maybe organize a day out to Skellig Michael, now that would be class.
With enough numbers you can hire a bus and the boat and ye'll have a great day out.
Be meeting lots of people

That's what I would do

Wrap up well, absolutely freezing out there
Those monks were hardy men

The Quadratic Equation

Smart move to finding someone actually compatible for the long haul rather than playing the nite club lottery. Good luck Newsite.

Corkfeen

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

It's hardly surprising that an atheist would put such little stock in religious faith. But I'm afraid that you are just going to have to get over the fact that people of the same beliefs - whether it's Christianity, political activism, atheism (see the threads on the A&A forum dealing with relationships with religious people) - will look to have relationships with each other. This might even be at the expense of relationship with somebody not of the same beliefs.

While completely off topic, it just as well that Christians - some of us at least - don't believe that salvation is determined ultimately by geographical location. Some atheists apparently think differently.

Ohh I realise that plenty of Christians think that people of all faiths will go to heaven if deserving. I just consider choosing a wife based on faith is a bit much, plenty of Christians have married people of other religions. And I think Newsite should at least consider it.

CMpunked

Corkfeen wrote: »

I think there's just something extremely messed up about this logic. Is it so wrong to marry a person that's not a Christian?

I cant speak for the OP, but whats wrong with finding someone who you share the same values and principals?
Like i know some people who would rank musical tastes or fashion sense over anything else in a potential partner and no one thinks its unusual. But heres a guy who wants to be involved with a girl who does understand his way of life and wants to be able to share in hers.

This isnt just a christian logic thing at all.

Laisurg

Corkfeen wrote: »

I think there's just something extremely messed up about this logic. Is it so wrong to marry a person that's not a Christian? I'm an atheist but I don't search specifically for someone who is specifically an Atheist, in fact I couldn't care less what religion (No disbelief requirement :O ) they are. I could somewhat understand this fifty years ago but alas it is not fifty years ago. So Newsite, open up your options to all faiths (or lack of faiths) and then you'll have far more variety. :pac: *Prepares to be slaughtered*

I have a close friend who also refuses to have any relations with a woman who is not part of his order and it just confuses me, he has never been able to give me a real reason why.

Newsite

CMpunked wrote: »

I cant speak for the OP, but whats wrong with finding someone who you share the same values and principals?
Like i know some people who would rank musical tastes or fashion sense over anything else in a potential partner and no one thinks its unusual. But heres a guy who wants to be involved with a girl who does understand his way of life and wants to be able to share in hers.

This isnt just a christian logic thing at all.

That's actually poetic

Seriously though, that was perfectly put..

Newsite

Laisurg wrote: »

I have a close friend who also refuses to have any relations with a woman who is not part of his order and it just confuses me, he has never been able to give me a real reason why.

I'd be more confused as to why he can't give a reason why...

Newsite

Corkfeen wrote: »

Ohh I realise that plenty of Christians think that people of all faiths will go to heaven if deserving. I just consider choosing a wife based on faith is a bit much, plenty of Christians have married people of other religions. And I think Newsite should at least consider it.

You do realise that's like saying, 'disregard the Word of God'

It's more than that though. I actually want to be with someone who shares in the great news.

Corkfeen

CMpunked wrote: »

I cant speak for the OP, but whats wrong with finding someone who you share the same values and principals?
Like i know some people who would rank musical tastes or fashion sense over anything else in a potential partner and no one thinks its unusual. But heres a guy who wants to be involved with a girl who does understand his way of life and wants to be able to share in hers.

This isnt just a christian logic thing at all.

But there still exists the possibility that the OP could develop an amazing relationship with entirely different views and opinions. I'm just encouraging him to be more open to the possibilities. Granted, I initially possibly came across a little strong but I find that there's something brilliant about exploring the possibilities. And I just don't like closing off the possibilities. I shall leave the OP to deliberate anyhow. Ohh wait.

Newsite wrote: »

You do realise that's like saying, 'disregard the Word of God'

It's more than that though. I actually want to be with someone who shares in the great news.

If you want to choose to marry someone to share "the great news" with, fair enough. But how can you justify the idea that it's immoral to marry a person of a different faith, purely on the grounds that they were indoctrinated from childhood with an entirely different faith and had little to no choice in the matter. It's more the concept that I have an issue with than anything else.

Keaton

Look in the church. Maybe ask around. Join a club.

But in all seriousness, my only question is what age do you stop being a young buck?:P

Newsite

Keaton wrote: »

Look in the church. Maybe ask around. Join a club.

But in all seriousness, my only question is what age do you stop being a young buck?:P

Age is but a number Keaton

Newsite

Corkfeen wrote: »

But there still exists the possibility that the OP could develop an amazing relationship with entirely different views and opinions. I'm just encouraging him to be more open to the possibilities. Granted, I initially possibly came across a little strong but I find that there's something brilliant about exploring the possibilities. And I just don't like closing off the possibilities. I shall leave the OP to deliberate anyhow. Ohh wait.


If you want to choose to marry someone to share "the great news" with, fair enough. But how can you justify the idea that it's immoral to marry a person of a different faith, purely on the grounds that they were indoctrinated from childhood with an entirely different faith and had little to no choice in the matter. It's more the concept that I have an issue with than anything else.

Corkfeen I never said it was immoral!? Morality is a different kettle of fish - what is right or wrong from a personal standpoint, etc.

You're making huge assumptions there too...'indoctrinated from childhood' and so on. I was one of those who loved the darkness up until very recently. And while young, I'm certainly no child

CMpunked

Corkfeen wrote: »

But there still exists the possibility that the OP could develop an amazing relationship with entirely different views and opinions.

That is true and it happens.
But speaking from my own experience; before i got together with my girlfriend, i tried just going for any girl who i felt i shared some form of strong connection. I made some mistakes and some i learned a lot about myself. But one thing stood out was how i couldnt fully share in the thing that felt like it was the biggest thing in my life.
Look, im a gta mod, i like games, i went out with a girl once purely on the basis that she liked me and was a gamer. We had some fun trashing it out on different games and that, but at the end of the day i couldnt fully open up to her about certain experiences and things i had witnessed. She felt i was trying to "Recruit" her, even though i honestly wasnt.

If the OP wants to try and find a girl he could be suited to because his faith is that big thing in his life, then surely when he finds her, he will be happier because he will have found that connection.

newmug

Corkfeen wrote: »

Ohh I realise that plenty of Christians think that people of all faiths will go to heaven if deserving. I just consider choosing a wife based on faith is a bit much, plenty of Christians have married people of other religions. And I think Newsite should at least consider it.

Well why are you posting in this thread at all then? The OP is being very specific, he wants someone who shares his belief system, end-of. If you cant assist him, go away.

Newsite

newmug wrote: »

Well why are you posting in this thread at all then? The OP is being very specific, he wants someone who shares his belief system, end-of. If you cant assist him, go away.

Ah no it's cool, as per the smiley this thread is more than a bit tongue in cheek. I just want to get people's reaction and so forth

Corkfeen

newmug wrote: »

Well why are you posting in this thread at all then? The OP is being very specific, he wants someone who shares his belief system, end-of. If you cant assist him, go away.

Shame on me for saying that he should consider his options and not limit ones self....

PDN

Corkfeen wrote: »

Shame on me for saying that he should consider his options and not limit ones self....

What did you expect. You post, as an atheist, in the Christianity Forum, telling a Christian poster to ignore what the Bible teaches.

Why not go to the Soccer Forum and try the same thing there? Go to a thread where others want to discuss the intricacies of the Offside Law and post, "Actually I don't watch or play Soccer, but why not just ignore the Offside Law altogether? I think the concept of allowing a referee to dictate where defenders can stand is a bit strange. In fact, you might find it liberating not to worry about the rules of the game at all."

Let me know how that works out for you.

professore

As an athiest myself, I have to disagree with corkfeen. What's the point of being in a religion if you disregard it's rules?

homer911

OP: Are you in Uni? the local Christian Union is a good place to hang out - my daughter is in DIT and the at a recent evening out for the CU there was only one guy and quite a few girls!

PDN

homer911 wrote: »

OP: Are you in Uni? the local Christian Union is a good place to hang out - my daughter is in DIT and the at a recent evening out for the CU there was only one guy and quite a few girls!

Not so good if a girl is looking for a husband then?

Newsite

PDN wrote: »

What did you expect. You post, as an atheist, in the Christianity Forum, telling a Christian poster to ignore what the Bible teaches.

Why not go to the Soccer Forum and try the same thing there? Go to a thread where others want to discuss the intricacies of the Offside Law and post, "Actually I don't watch or play Soccer, but why not just ignore the Offside Law altogether? I think the concept of allowing a referee to dictate where defenders can stand is a bit strange. In fact, you might find it liberating not to worry about the rules of the game at all."

Let me know how that works out for you.

That's actually a great analogy!

Or head over to the Alcoholics Anonymous forum. You've been dry for 10 years? Ah sure a small drop won't hurt ya

Newsite

homer911 wrote: »

OP: Are you in Uni? the local Christian Union is a good place to hang out - my daughter is in DIT and the at a recent evening out for the CU there was only one guy and quite a few girls!

That's actually a great idea! My college days are over, but I had been thinking of going back to DIT earlier this year actually!

Like the sound of that...being a bloke certainly has its advantages Presume they have non-college CUs round the country too..

MrPudding

Corkfeen wrote: »

I just consider choosing a wife based on faith is a bit much, plenty of Christians have married people of other religions. And I think Newsite should at least consider it.

This is just silly. Why would you enter into a relationship where you already have issue of incompatibility?

So I am an atheist, and whilst I have number of friend of faith, I could never be in a long term relationship with someone of faith. There are just too many issues of contention.

I can fully understand why the OP is looking for someone of the same faith, it just makes sense.

MrP

tommy2bad

I can fully understand why the OP is looking for someone of the same faith, it just makes sense.

Ah shure theirs the problem! Love doesn't make sense at all at all.
Newsite one word, Google

philologos

Corkfeen wrote: »

I think there's just something extremely messed up about this logic. Is it so wrong to marry a person that's not a Christian? I'm an atheist but I don't search specifically for someone who is specifically an Atheist, in fact I couldn't care less what religion (No disbelief requirement :O ) they are. I could somewhat understand this fifty years ago but alas it is not fifty years ago. So Newsite, open up your options to all faiths (or lack of faiths) and then you'll have far more variety. :pac: *Prepares to be slaughtered*

I understand where you're coming from but my faith is the most important thing in my life. Personally I don't see how I could be in a relationship with someone who couldn't respect that about me or couldn't share that with me. I also care because when it comes to any children situation I'd want to introduce them to Christianity.

strobe

PDN wrote: »

You post, as an atheist, in the Christianity Forum, telling a Christian poster to ignore what the Bible teaches.

Does the Bible actually teach that Christians shouldn't marry non-Christians PDN, anyone?

Does anyone know the specific verses etc?

Newsite

strobe wrote: »

Does the Bible actually teach that Christians shouldn't marry non-Christians PDN, anyone?

Does anyone know the specific verses etc?

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=75393021&postcount=6

Newsite

philologos wrote: »

I understand where you're coming from but my faith is the most important thing in my life. Personally I don't see how I could be in a relationship with someone who couldn't respect that about me or couldn't share that with me. I also care because when it comes to any children situation I'd want to introduce them to Christianity.

Yep, all of that sums it up really.

strobe

Newsite wrote: »

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=75393021&postcount=6

I always thought the 'unequally' part in that one meant like, don't be yoked together with an unbeliever in circumstances where the power or influence in the relationship is uneven (presumably especially where they would hold greater influence over you, than you over them)?

Or am I reading too much into/ misinterpreting the specific wording?

Manach

Would the better criteria be to ask, how patient would the prospective wife be with you posting 24x7 on boards

Newsite

Manach wrote: »

Would the better criteria be to ask, how patient would the prospective wife be with you posting 24x7 on boards

If she is a Christian? Very

'Cry aloud, spare not, lift up thy voice like a trumpet, and shew my people their transgression, and the house of Jacob their sins'.

'When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand'.

marty1985

OP I wish you good luck, never mind all the crap, whatever is meant to be etc.

FWIW, I wouldn't even sleep with anyone who didn't like Michael J Fox or was a militant atheist...

Invite us all to the wedding. I can play keyboards.

ShooterSF

If you're biggest interest is your belief then churches and such should suit. Maybe your church group volunteers and you could join in but for feck sake don't go looking for a girlfriend. Go to have some fun (Im not implying anything sexual here) and if it happens it happens. Or, and I strongly advise against it, you could go down the 50 sheckles route (it's in the bible!) :P

Newsite

Interesting to hear your various viewpoints

The funny thing is, I'm not actually searching for someone. Up until recently though, it was a lot of what I thought about. If I happen to meet someone tomorrow, great. But either way I know the Lord will take care of that at His good will and pleasure

'But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.'

Realistically though, finding a true Christian girl may well prove to be like that needle in the haystack!

'Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.'

The Quadratic Equation

Newsite wrote: »

Interesting to hear your various viewpoints

The funny thing is, I'm not actually searching for someone. Up until recently though, it was a lot of what I thought about. If I happen to meet someone tomorrow, great. But either way I know the Lord will take care of that at His good will and pleasure

'But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.'

Realistically though, finding a true Christian girl may well prove to be like that needle in the haystack!

'Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.'

Macra na feirme is also a much underated young persons organisation. I know several decent lads that met good women through that organisation.

alex73

I met my wife at mass. There are about 2 to 1 women looking for Christian men in Ireland.

Newsite

alex73 wrote: »

I met my wife at mass. There are about 2 to 1 women looking for Christian men in Ireland.

Nice stat Where are these Christian women though?!

alex73

Try http://www.catholicmates.com.

CMpunked

alex73 wrote: »

Try http://www.catholicmates.com.

When i seen that i expected:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pGcE7IvCTs

Newsite

alex73 wrote: »

Try http://www.catholicmates.com.

Too much to ask for an Irish Baptist version maybe?

CMpunked

The Quadratic Equation wrote: »

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_(Internet)

You do realise how ironic it is you posting all that?

But you are accusing me as a troll yet i have already posted (what i thought) was helpful advice for the OP and as Newsite did say he wanted to lighten the mood, i thought it would help.
Apologies if I offended you Quadratic Equation.

The Quadratic Equation

Newsite wrote: »

Too much to ask for an Irish Baptist version maybe?

Set one up !