Found a letter from 1988

mr.wiggle

Hi, really looking for some female perspective on this.
I have an old filing cabinet in the garage that I got from someone a couple of years agao. You know the type, large, 4 drawer, grey metalic one.
Always meant to do it up, but last week the wife beat me to it !
( got sick of me talking about it, I guess :pac: )
Anyways, she found an old envelope taped to the bottom of one of the drawers, marked confidential and for a womans attention- address on letter.
So, as you do....she opened it and its an old typed letter from a dad to one of his daughters, telling about two women he was friends with and asking her to contact them when he dies. He goes into detail about his friendship with them, nothing sexual mentioned, and also goes onto say how much he loves his daughter and hope she has a great life.
My wife says I should just bin it, but its after having a very strange effect on me, reading , more than likely, words and wishes from the grave.
This guy was a journalist, from another page, and could really put words together, and I'm a big softee, so its made me very sad about the whole thing.
So.. sorry for the lenght of this... should I try and track down his daughter, even though its over 20 years later and give her the letter.
The address on the envelope is very near where I grew up , and so I know the exact area and have google mapped the house.

All replies gratefully accepted.


Mr.W.

MagicMarker

Just send the letter to the address on the envelope with a note saying you found it, you could put a return address on it if you wanted to, in case she doesn't live there anymore.

Aishae

it seems possible the other women are sisters of the dad or even sisters of his daughter - possibly. which would be important to know. the woman can decide herself if she wants to follow up on the letter. If it were me i'd want to know. its possible she already knows about the contents of the letter too.
i'd post it or even hand deliver it to ask if she wants it

I think you should follow it up. It could be a really lovely story for the daughter.

Abi

Definitely follow it up. I think I'd prefer to hand it over in person rather than post it though

Abi

Abi wrote: »

I think I'd prefer to hand it over in person rather than post it though

Definitely agree

mr.wiggle

Thanks for the replies.

I think I will go there tomorrow, as I'm off,
and see if the lady on the envelope is still
living there, really hope so.
Hope she wont be too peeved about me reading
the letter.
I'll let ye know the outcome.


Thx all, Mr.W.

Abi

mr.wiggle wrote: »

Thanks for the replies.

I think I will go there tomorrow, as I'm off,
and see if the lady on the envelope is still
living there, really hope so.
Hope she wont be too peeved about me reading
the letter.
I'll let ye know the outcome.


Thx all, Mr.W.

Well I assume there may not have been a return address on the envelope? Either way, I think most people would have opened it too. You'll have to come back and tell us how you got on

Dravokivich

Unless her name is Sarah Conor, you could check and see if she's listed in the phonebook with that address.

Plazaman

mr.wiggle wrote: »

.....of his daughters, telling about two women he was friends with and asking her to contact them when he dies. He goes into detail about his friendship with them, nothing sexual mentioned....

Being the expert that I am at reading between the lines of old correspondence, I do believe you should make up something similar to below to break the news gently to the girl.

Did you do it, OP?

mr.wiggle

Hi, yes I did do it. I called to the address but there was no one home.
There was a neighbour out and about and I was able to confirm that the daughter was still living at the address on the envelope 23 years on.
I really didn't want to post it in the letter box so i gave the neighbour my phone no. to pass on.
Got a call from the daughter later that evening and had a good chat about it,
she was as intrigued by the letter as I was, especally since she then tells me that her dad was still alive....dun, dun, dun!
Yep, you could not make this up!
That really did take the wind out of my sails, cause here i am now, with a letter that was obviously meant to be read after he died. ( he did have a very bad illness all those years ago).
I told her i'd post it on and then had to read all of it to make sure any revelations would not cause upset.
In the end, I did post it on, with a cover letter explaining again how i came across it and hoping she wold keep it between herself and her dad.
I got a reply a couple of days later thanking me and yes, she is going to keep it to herself for now.
My wife said I should have thrown it away, and to be honest, with the father still alive, I'm really sorry I didn't take her advice!


Mr.W.

rediguana25

Not at all! You would always be wondering- it's best to just have done what you did.

sunflower27

Wow, what a mad story. I suppose once you told her what you had (the letter), you couldn't just throw it away and make her wonder.

You did what you did with very good intentions, so need to question your part in all this

I hope things work out for her - and you - not that you need anything to, but you know what I mean

Muirgheal

Jeez- you really, really could not make that up! IMO you did exactly the right thing, and as it turns out he now has a chance to sort it all out- assuming there's sorting to be done- while alive. It's not your fault if his letter has opened a can of worms.

This should be a warning to everyone else not to leave a "message from the grave." In my family some major "revelations" just hit the fan following someone's death. Trust me on this, do not hide secrets from your family, i.e. previous marriage/family, the really big sh1t, and if you do this, do. not. put. them. in. the. f#*king. will. for everyone else to find out after 30 years. Seriously. You really could not make this stuff up.

SerialComplaint

mr.wiggle wrote: »

My wife said I should have thrown it away, and to be honest, with the father still alive, I'm really sorry I didn't take her advice!


Mr.W.

Your missus was wrong. You did the right thing.

Joey the lips

SerialComplaint wrote: »

Your missus was wrong. You did the right thing.

As said you did the right thing. In fact you done a very thoughtful thing and the fact you handed it to the daughter might make a lot click in her mind. Maybe her father was nasty and this is his reasoning and now she has time to make up.

Maybe she needs to forgive him for what he has done.

There is nothing wrong with doing wrong ie say an affair but the father writeing a letter and expecting the daughter to read it after he is gone is playing with her emotions. It does not give her a right of reply.

I think no matter how harsh that letter was you were very thoughtful for delivering it.

DebDynamite

Ok, in my opinion you shouldn't have given the letter to the daughter once you knew the father was still alive. The words he wrote were only meant to be read once he had passed away. Perhaps you could've asked the daughter for his contact details and posted it back to him?

However you meant well and have a good heart. Perhaps now the daugher can discuss whatever questions she has with her father while he's still alive, instead of having all these unanswered questions after he's died. Also she now knows how much he loves and cares her. Maybe it'll help their relationship as he may not have been able to say these things to her face.