Overweight help...

ShortskirtCiara

My sister is overweight. Her diet mainly consists of snacking on crisps, chocolate and drinking fizzy drinks such as coke/luzocade. She doesn't really eat dinners and instead eats toasted sandwiches or take aways. She used to be a size 10 but since going to college 3 years ago she has gained weight as shes not exercising and eating crap food and is now a size 16. Im sitting here writing this on boards as she finishes off her 2nd bag of crisps and is half way through a litre bottle of coke. What do I do? I can barely watch her eat this stuff, makes me sick. I want my sister back. Not only has her weight and diet changed but she has serious mood swings. You don't know when she could snap even at the a simple question like 'What are you doing tonight?' or 'What are you wearing out tonight?'

Can someone please help? Me and my mum don't know what to do. She is also booked into motivation this week and to be honest my mum doesn't want to fork out the money for it if shes not going to stick to it and honestly 100% try her best. I really want to be positive but I genuinely can't when I see empty take away cartons and empty crisp packets etc.

What you do in my situation? Is there anything I can do? I'm trying to be a role model (older sister) but it's not working. I'm a size 10, exercise regularly and eat a healthy well balanced diet and so does my mum. We don't know what went wrong. Obviously college.

EileenG

This is not about her diet, it's about other stuff. She has grown up in a house with decent nutrition and can see you eating, so she knows that what she is doing is not good, but she's still doing it.

The mood swings make me wonder if there is something else going on with her. If she's had a trauma or disappointment that has hit her hard, she may feel that at least the food is still a comfort.

Motivation may help, simply because there is one to one counselling, and she may talk to a stranger where she can't talk to her family. If not, then perhaps her doctor?

castlepoint

I would think the overeating and bad diet is in response to something else in your sisters life that has not/is not going according to plan-a relationship,work,shyness.I know i have eaten and drank to much when life was getting on top of me.

Eabhabear

Hi.

I used to be like your sister. I would binge on chocolate and I piled on the weight. It was an emotional thing because I struggled when I was in school. I was bullied and didn't have a lot of friends because I wasn't confident to make them. I tried many fad diets to lose the weight but they never worked because I wasn't in the right frame of mind. Last September I hit rock bottom when I went shopping for clothes for going back to college. I made a decision then that I really needed to lose weight or else I was never going to be completely happy. The key was that it was my decision and I was in the right frame of mind.

I don't think there's much you can do until your sister decides herself. Can I ask who's decision it was for her to go to motivation because if it wasn't hers then I don't think it'll work. It may work for a week or so but then she'll just go back to old habits or just continue eating in private. Just be supportive of her and help her when she does decide to start losing weight.

El_Dangeroso

EileenG wrote: »

This is not about her diet, it's about other stuff.

Nail on head! There's something else going on here, all I know is you can only really start a sustainable weight loss journey from a journey of self love. Not from self-hatred and food-abuse which is what seems to be going on now perhaps.

G-Money

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Nail on head! There's something else going on here, all I know is you can only really start a sustainable weight loss journey from a journey of self love. Not from self-hatred and food-abuse which is what seems to be going on now perhaps.

I see your point, but a person can't really wait around for weeks or months until they like themselves can they?

The reason I ask this is that I think I'm an emotional eater myself and I know I'm not my own biggest fan to put it mildly. I want to get thin but I don't think I want to wait around until such times that my own opinion of myself becomes a lot better. That could take years!

metamorphosis

To tackle deep emotional eating, it is pretty hard to do yourself, in fact, most wont and cant tackle it themselves. Cognitive therapy is a good tool that can be used to tackle it

EileenG

G-Money wrote: »

I see your point, but a person can't really wait around for weeks or months until they like themselves can they?

You may have to. You can't make someone like themselves, or lose weight, or improve their diet, unless they really want to.

I was a fat kid, and anytime my mother tried to put me on a diet, I found lots of ways around it. And all her comments about how fat I was just made me more determined to eat more. But it did get me into the habit of hiding my food, which is a really healthy habit to have!

I only got my act together when I decided I was fed up and wanted to change.

littlemsfickle

EileenG wrote: »

But it did get me into the habit of hiding my food, which is a really healthy habit to have!

Em, why?

howtomake

littlemsfickle wrote: »

Em, why?

She was being ironic:D.

Sounds like your sister is using food to cope with something. Has she spoken to you about what happened to her in college? It was probably a process she went through, possibly using food to help her cope gradually, and it kind of sneaks up on a person and before they know it, its a habit. Food can be very comforting. During my worst times I felt like a junkie getting my fix.

The food just sounds like a symptom of a problem, one that won't just go away, even if she did decide she wanted to be a size 10 again. She could be hurting about something, and that's why you feel like you've lost your sister too. Believe me its hard enough to deal with when you want to change.

keanooo

ShortskirtCiara wrote: »

My sister is overweight. Her diet mainly consists of snacking on crisps, chocolate and drinking fizzy drinks such as coke/luzocade. She doesn't really eat dinners and instead eats toasted sandwiches or take aways. She used to be a size 10 but since going to college 3 years ago she has gained weight as shes not exercising and eating crap food and is now a size 16. Im sitting here writing this on boards as she finishes off her 2nd bag of crisps and is half way through a litre bottle of coke. What do I do? I can barely watch her eat this stuff, makes me sick. I want my sister back. Not only has her weight and diet changed but she has serious mood swings. You don't know when she could snap even at the a simple question like 'What are you doing tonight?' or 'What are you wearing out tonight?'

Can someone please help? Me and my mum don't know what to do. She is also booked into motivation this week and to be honest my mum doesn't want to fork out the money for it if shes not going to stick to it and honestly 100% try her best. I really want to be positive but I genuinely can't when I see empty take away cartons and empty crisp packets etc.

What you do in my situation? Is there anything I can do? I'm trying to be a role model (older sister) but it's not working. I'm a size 10, exercise regularly and eat a healthy well balanced diet and so does my mum. We don't know what went wrong. Obviously college.

Find out what fellas / friends of yours she likes / fancies.

Get him to talk to her honestly about what fellas think of girls that are that much overweight.

El_Dangeroso

keanooo wrote: »

Find out what fellas / friends of yours she likes / fancies.

Get him to talk to her honestly about what fellas think of girls that are that much overweight.

God god no. I would never forgive someone if they did that to me when I was fat. It would be so humiliating.

EileenG

keanooo wrote: »

Find out what fellas / friends of yours she likes / fancies.

Get him to talk to her honestly about what fellas think of girls that are that much overweight.

Trust me, she knows she's fat. In fact, she probably thinks she is much fatter than she really is, and feels that fixing it will require far more work than she can do.

Humiliatiing her is far more likely to drive her into her bedroom with several boxes of jaffa cakes.

Blatter

keanooo was clearly on the wind up. Don't let that Winnie the Pooh avatar fool ya!:D

keanooo

Blatter wrote: »

keanooo was clearly on the wind up. Don't let that Winnie the Pooh avatar fool ya!:D

I'm actually going through some weight issues of my own at the moment... And I have to get into shape by Saturday week. The (fear of the) idea of someone thinking I look out of shape spurs me on...

Would it not force someone to address the issue, knowing how you're thought of? I know it does for me...

ShortskirtCiara

Hi guys, I appreciate all the feedback.

To be honest I think she is in denial about her weight. One of her friends is the same weight that she is & when its pointed out she is shocked and doesn't believe it. In fact when she goes shopping she may try on something lets say in a size 18, which fits perfectly, but will deliberately get the 16 and feels happy in it even though its way too tight.

It's a very tricky situation. I know her first 2 years of college were tough, she was far from home and wasn't really enjoying her course, so changed after her 1st year, and changed course again in 2nd year and again in 3rd year but has now finally settled with her course and is in a different college now and is much happier.

I know her mood swings are related to her being overweight, but how can we motivate her as I know deep down she wants to as she has expressed herself to my mum.

TheBonzerlife

Hi,

I am kinda like your sister but I have decided to make a change myself and cant afford the like of weightwatchers or motivation so what Ive decided to do is set up a youtube channel.
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheBonzerlife
What I want to do with it is make a community channel where we go weekly weigh-ins, talk abt the highs and low points of the week, goals, hints and Tips, exercise plans. I'm jt in the process of setting it up but hope to begin on Friday, maybe that might be something that would interest her? Like she can just to screen shots (like the video that is on my page) or she can video herself talking abt herself which is what i'll be doing in the future.

If you've any questions let me know

Wheely GR8

I've lost a good bit of weight in the last few months and I feel great ,all I did was go down to my GP and got blood test and was advised on what the best things to do where.

My cholesterol was 7.5 in august and now it's 4.3 and I've gone from 19 stone to 15.8 at the moment. Now I'm always in good humor (even when I'm not) and I have to remember to eat food now instead of eating in case I forget.

keanooo

TheBonzerlife wrote: »

Hi,

I am kinda like your sister but I have decided to make a change myself and cant afford the like of weightwatchers or motivation so what Ive decided to do is set up a youtube channel.
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheBonzerlife
What I want to do with it is make a community channel where we go weekly weigh-ins, talk abt the highs and low points of the week, goals, hints and Tips, exercise plans. I'm jt in the process of setting it up but hope to begin on Friday, maybe that might be something that would interest her? Like she can just to screen shots (like the video that is on my page) or she can video herself talking abt herself which is what i'll be doing in the future.

If you've any questions let me know

I think that’s a great idea. I will definitely watch it.

Make sure to turn off the comments section though…

keanooo

TheBonzerlife wrote: »

If you've any questions let me know

I hope that isn't you in your current state in the pic. That girl is not over-weight.

keanooo

I'm not sure what a "401k" is, but I found this video inspirational in addressing my own weight issues.

It also contains the world's longest sentence.

Sylvia Dona

ShortskirtCiara wrote: »

My sister is overweight. Her diet mainly consists of snacking on crisps, chocolate and drinking fizzy drinks such as coke/luzocade. She doesn't really eat dinners and instead eats toasted sandwiches or take aways. She used to be a size 10 but since going to college 3 years ago she has gained weight as shes not exercising and eating crap food and is now a size 16. Im sitting here writing this on boards as she finishes off her 2nd bag of crisps and is half way through a litre bottle of coke. What do I do? I can barely watch her eat this stuff, makes me sick. I want my sister back. Not only has her weight and diet changed but she has serious mood swings. You don't know when she could snap even at the a simple question like 'What are you doing tonight?' or 'What are you wearing out tonight?'

Can someone please help? Me and my mum don't know what to do. She is also booked into motivation this week and to be honest my mum doesn't want to fork out the money for it if shes not going to stick to it and honestly 100% try her best. I really want to be positive but I genuinely can't when I see empty take away cartons and empty crisp packets etc.

What you do in my situation? Is there anything I can do? I'm trying to be a role model (older sister) but it's not working. I'm a size 10, exercise regularly and eat a healthy well balanced diet and so does my mum. We don't know what went wrong. Obviously college.

Hey there I noticed this post a while back and wondered if there were any results and realities. I have a very close friend who is suffering this fate of being a great sports person and suddenly due to an injury piling on the pounds over 15 years, now facing obesity. She does not talk to family about this and finds it very difficult. I was wondering as a friend how to handle the situation.