Why do women....

Tonto86

.... come to men with problems if they don't want help solving them?

My girlfriend tells me what's wrong but then acts unimpressed if I try to give her ideas to solve the problem. What the hell is with this? If you have a problem and you talk to somebody about it is it not necessarily normal to expect advice?

hondasam

Do yourself a favour and don't try figure out how a woman's mind works, even us women can't figure it out.

Giselle

Tonto86 wrote: »

.... come to men with problems if they don't want help solving them?

My girlfriend tells me what's wrong but then acts unimpressed if I try to give her ideas to solve the problem. What the hell is with this? If you have a problem and you talk to somebody about it is it not necessarily normal to expect advice?

Sometimes we don't need fixin'. We just need to be listened to. A sounding board if you like.

Telling us where we're going wrong and where you'd go right isn't as helpful as you think it is sometimes.

Gummy Panda

Just cuddle her and pretend to listen

[Rasta]

just say yes ofc sweetie

Dudess

hondasam wrote: »

Do yourself a favour and don't try figure out how a woman's mind works, even us women can't figure it out.

Yeah, heeheehee, us women are maaaad and random and crazy!

Logical Fallacy

Tonto86 wrote: »

.... come to men with problems if they don't want help solving them?

My girlfriend tells me what's wrong but then acts unimpressed if I try to give her ideas to solve the problem. What the hell is with this? If you have a problem and you talk to somebody about it is it not necessarily normal to expect advice?

Chatting about stuff can be very cathartic and can help people to sort things out in their own head and reach their own conclusions.

You girlfriend may just be too polite to tell you that she doesn't want advice, she just wants someone to listen.

If i was you i would be more interested in why you feel the need to try and fix everything.

On the other hand, if she comes to you and says "I want your advice" and never takes it even when it's the right course of action and history has proven this over and over i would just tell her to jog on and find some one else to moan to.

Silverfish

She doesn't want your advice. She already knows what she's going to do.

She just wants to talk about it.

Eve_Dublin

Giselle wrote: »

Sometimes we don't need fixin'. We just need to be listened to. A sounding board if you like.

Telling us where we're going wrong and where you'd go right isn't as helpful as you think it is sometimes.

That's it! And usually we already know what we have to do...we just want a moan and all we want are your ears (for the time being )

staker

Does she sing Hi Ho Silver when she sleeps?

leggo

They want a bit of attention and for someone to tell them they're right. Easy. Why do you think Gerry Ryan was so popular with the housewives?

Mrmoe

Because they are all bat**** crazy, that's why.

You clearly don't understand women at all!

She isn't telling you because she wants a solution, she's telling you because she needs validation.

First you act like you think her situation is tragic. That she's a hero for managing with it. Then you agree that there's nothing she can do that she hasn't already thought of (because suggesting a solution is suggesting she couldn't think of one as efficiently as you). Then you give her a hug/kiss/shag/massage because you're just so overcome with admiration for her struggle that you can't do anything except try to ease her anguish through blunt physical affection (because she's great and smart and you're supposed to play the part of dim man-candy because you're useless as suggesting solutions).

Basically, just humour her because she's in a bad mood and it's nice to be humoured sometimes.

hondasam

Dudess wrote: »

Yeah, heeheehee, us women are maaaad and random and crazy!

Yeah, and we are always right as well.

DublinWriter

Tonto86 wrote: »

.... come to men with problems if they don't want help solving them?

One of the best books I've read was "Men are from Mars..." and it answers this very problem.

Wimmins want to be listened to. Men are problem solvers. Just because a wommin is telling you her problem DOESN'T mean she expects a solution, we men folk automatically get stressed out because we think we're being asked to solve a problem, us being the pragmatic types we are....all they are expecting you to do is empathise and listen.

It was a revelation to me too!

Ro: maaan!

OP are you looking for an answer? Or just people to agree with you that women are crazy?

strobe

Tonto86 wrote: »

.... come to men with problems if they don't want help solving them?

My girlfriend tells me what's wrong but then acts unimpressed if I try to give her ideas to solve the problem. What the hell is with this? If you have a problem and you talk to somebody about it is it not necessarily normal to expect advice?

It's one of the big differences between men and women. Never is the difference between men and women more noticeable than when comparing a woman telling her problem to other women and a man telling his problem to other men. Men are all about trying to come up with a solution to the problem where as women are all about expressing empathy with the plight of the person.

Jess16

strobe wrote: »

It's one of the big differences between men and women. Never is the differences between men and women more noticeable than comparing a woman telling her problem to other women and a man telling his problem to other men. Men are all about trying to come up with a solution to the problem where as women are all about expressing empathy with the plight of the person.

I agree, succinctly put

Son Of A Vidic

Tonto86 wrote: »

My girlfriend tells me what's wrong but then acts unimpressed if I try to give her ideas to solve the problem. What the hell is with this?

Have you considered the possibility that you might be a gormless idiot? And your attempts to problem solve with her, might be very underwhelming to say the least.

Eric Cartman

for the same reason they post shít like 'eughhh im so mad right now,' ' i dont want to talk about it , ill message you x ' on facebook

women like that only love attention and money , dont give them either and youll be a lot happier

Abi

Tonto86 wrote: »

.... come to men with problems if they don't want help solving them?

Men hear the problem and try to practically approach to it. Women may present a problem, but as others have said, it may just be a venting thing. A need to bounce it off someone in order to be able to make the right decision themselves. Just voice your opinion and leave her to it.

Jesus Wept

They just want to bitch and moan. Your job is to act like you give a **** and nod sympathetically for the rest of your days.

4leto

LOL
So why do women????????????4
Who the hell knows.

But I will let you in on a secret that will ease and enhance your life

They are always right

hondasam

If someone asks my opinion male or female I will give an honest answer, if you just want me to agree with you don't bother asking for an honest opinion.
If you want to have a rant just say so, I will sit and nod,make you feel better, it's not that difficult.

Kasabian

Never ever ever ask them if it's that time of the month.

Kiera

Kasabian wrote: »

Never ever ever ask them if it's that time of the month.

You'd rather get a messy surprise? :eek:

LeixlipRed

Just nod and smile and think about poking her with your willy :pac:

Joshua Jones

Outwardly: Listen and sympathise.

Inwardly: Consider who should play up front if Keane and Long aren't fit.

Kasabian

Joshua Jones wrote: »

Outwardly: Listen and sympathise.

Inwardly: Consider who should play up front if Keane and Long aren't fit.

Walters and Best, with Coleman out wide on the right. We can but hope.

LETHAL LADY

I just asked my husband this question, but he didnt give me the answer I was looking for so I went with my initial thoughts about it. Guess what it turns out I was right all along.

Tonto86

Ro: maaan! wrote: »

OP are you looking for an answer? Or just people to agree with you that women are crazy?

Nope, genuinely confused. She comes to me with a problem, I try to help her solve it. Then she comes to me a week later with the same problem. To me this is alien... the problem has a solution, why is it still a problem?

Although after reading here apparently she doesn't want a solution, just an ear to listen. I just assumed once she came to me with a problem she wanted a solution. Guess its the male way of thinkin vs the female

xoxyx

Tonto86 wrote: »

My girlfriend tells me what's wrong but then acts unimpressed if I try to give her ideas to solve the problem.

Maybe you give shite advice... :pac:

bnt

Yeah, shame on us silly male types for thinking that a problem could have a solution. There was a scene in The Big Bang Theory in which Penny collars Raj and pours out her troubles to him. In such situations, being unable to talk to a woman due to crippling shyness is apparently an advantage. (This was before he discovered alcohol.)

earpiece

So, what colour did she paint the kitchen in the end?

pickarooney

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

I just asked my husband this question, but he didnt give me the answer I was looking for so I went with my initial thoughts about it. Guess what it turns out I was right all along.

Obviously - if you only listen to one viewpoint it has to be the right one by default.

Ally Dick

Just nod your head and agree with everything, and then SHE will tell YOU that she is feeling a lot better after it. Don't try and rationalise and analyse. They're built a lot different than men. No better no worse, but different. They don't want a solution, just a hug or two. This happens especially when they're PMTish

Long Road 8378

Don't take it personally.... a woman will only ever be happy if you give her the answer she actually wants to hear!

Ally Dick

Long Road 8378 wrote: »

Don't take it personally.... a woman will only ever be happy if you give her the answer she actually wants to hear!

She's not looking for an answer. She's looking for an avalanche of compliments

LeeHoffmann

Guess its the male way of thinkin vs the female

yeah you're right, men never moan :pac: :rolleyes:

Liam Byrne

Thread titles should be complete and should reflect the topic at-a-glance, so keeping that in mind, my reply is :

.......because it's fun!

the groutch

listen to her moaning, and tonight you'll be boning

bryaner

Just tell her to shut the fcuk up and get back in the kitchen where she belongs, always works a treat for me..;)

Kiera

bryaner wrote: »

Just tell her to shut the fcuk up and get back in the kitchen where she belongs, always works a treat for me..;)

I'm surprised your mother hasnt kicked you out of her house! :rolleyes:

bryaner

Kiera wrote: »

I'm surprised your mother hasnt kicked you out of her house! :rolleyes:

She did thats why I'm with the wife now..:D

Kiera

bryaner wrote: »

She did thats why I'm with the wife now..:D

Lets see how long that lasts.

LETHAL LADY

pickarooney wrote: »

Obviously - if you only listen to one viewpoint it has to be the right one by default.

It was a subtle attempt at humour, doesnt seem to have worked.:o

Frank Black

I presume the 'problem' centred around the sandwich she was making you at the time?

bryaner

Kiera wrote: »

Lets see how long that lasts.

Lol 20 years and counting, seriously have you got your sarcasm detector on a low setting?

Kiera

bryaner wrote: »

Lol 20 years and counting, seriously have you got your sarcasm detector on a low setting?

Nope, i have my "stupid non funny childish posts" detector on the high setting tho.

bryaner

Kiera wrote: »

Nope, i have my "stupid non funny childish posts" detector on the high setting tho.

Well looks like its not working so seeing as your replying..:rolleyes:

Kiera

bryaner wrote: »

Well looks like its not working so seeing as your replying..:rolleyes:

Waaay over your head eh? Go off and rest yourself, pet. :rolleyes: