God Botherers

u_c_thesecond

Just back from the shop to find 2 God Botherers at my door bugging my fella (whos an athiest ) about god . He had told them "im an athiest" and they still wouldnt leave him alone. After i arrived they started on about if we had children they would be condemed to hell etc .

They got a swift "**** off" and a door slam after that comment!

Just looked out the window and saw them being chased out a gate by another man across the road - - guess they are condeming everyones kids to hell:P

Badly Drunk Boy

What flavour of God Botherer were they?

NothingMan

If it was only their god they bothered it'd be grand. I'd prefer chuggers over the bible bashing weirdos any day.

geetar

cool story, my brother.

mikemac

Living in sin? :eek:

Fart

You should have said: "God, stop bothering me!".

seamus

I find that, "I'm not interested in having this conversation" works perfectly fine without getting all hot and bothered.

Two witnesses responded very nicely to that statement one day and wished me a good day as they left.

OutlawPete

I just answer the door and tell them to hang on for two minutes ..

Then turn the following up full blast.

They usually shag off after a couple of minutes or so then.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M75qK-hxPqs

NothingMan

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

What flavour of God Botherer were they?

Strawberry. Although I wouldn't recommend licking them, strange after taste.

AnamGlas

seamus wrote: »

I find that, "I'm not interested in having this conversation" works perfectly fine without getting all hot and bothered.

Two witnesses responded very nicely to that statement one day and wished me a good day as they left.

Cursing you all the way from the door

maximoose

You obviously haven't heard the good news...

Seachmall

"Do you believe God offers tests for his followers to pass?"

"Yes, of course"

"Give me your wallet"

"Excuse me?"

"'Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do
not demand it back.' - Luke 6:30"

"I don't think that's what is meant"

"Either prove your faithfulness or stop trying to convince me of something you yourself are not convinced of"

Chuck Stone

Invite them in to slaughter a goat for the dark lord.

Captain Darling

I really hate god botherers trying to ram things down my throat.

spoofilyj

Had a pair of them call to the folks house a couple of weeks ago, I home for the weekend and was out cutting the lawn on a saturday morning, hungover to feck, they drove up the lane parked and then approched me, the first guy started by saying, I dont have much time to talk but would you have a second to talk about (opens a marked page in what I guess was a bible) I just replied, Absolutely No Interest, good bye.
You man tried to continue the conversation I told him it was none of his business what I believe and cut the conversation off again by sayin Good bye, he tried again and then was told to F*ck Off, they just dont leave when you try to be polite.:mad:

They are almost as bad as the fu*ckers that call from Concern trying to get you to sign up to a direct debit and dont leave you get a word in edgeways till they have finished their speel.

foxyboxer

....and the Lord God, the divine Christ, dying on the cross, decreed "You're all made of atoms, the earth revolves around the sun and a man who is 29 shall be considered a child"


* * * * *

Your children will go to hell? Religious trolls trying to provoke a debate.

stovelid

I hate god botherers almost as much as the constant deluge of smart arse student debating society fish barrel shooting about theists around here these days.

Benny_Cake

Don't think I've ever had JW's or Mormons calling to my house. Concern and Airtricity on the other hand...

ZombieBride

I am convinced that I was put on the Mormon black list, they came to my house with their little book and asked me to read the highlighted portions.
Bless them, they failed to realise that my father made sure none of his children were baptised but that we read all the major religions books so we could decided for ourselves what religion we wanted (he ended up with a Jehovah witness, a born-again Christian, a Roman Catholic, and some Atheists).
So in the week they gave me to read their book, I cross referenced it with my own bible and had a few foolscap pages of notes and questions for their return. They weren't pleased, and never returned, though I did see them in the neighbourhood afterwards (always on the otherside of the road)

Einhard

Seachmall wrote: »

"Do you believe God offers tests for his followers to pass?"

"Yes, of course"

"Give me your wallet"

"Excuse me?"

"'Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do
not demand it back.' - Luke 6:30"

"I don't think that's what is meant"

"Either prove your faithfulness or stop trying to convince me of something you yourself are not convinced of"

I'm gonna memorise this!

I had a God Botherer try to convert me in Melbourne once. I was in an argumentative mood and gave as good as I got. After about 20 minutes the poor fella was trying to get rid of me!:D

ItsNoAlias

ZombieBride wrote: »

I am convinced that I was put on the Mormon black list, they came to my house with their little book and asked me to read the highlighted portions.
Bless them, they failed to realise that my father made sure none of his children were baptised but that we read all the major religions books so we could decided for ourselves what religion we wanted (he ended up with a Jehovah witness, a born-again Christian, a Roman Catholic, and some Atheists).
So in the week they gave me to read their book, I cross referenced it with my own bible and had a few foolscap pages of notes and questions for their return. They weren't pleased, and never returned, though I did see them in the neighbourhood afterwards (always on the otherside of the road)

Did you tell them your Father had made you read all the books of major religion? If not than it is not a case of them failing to realise.

stephen_k

I'm living in the sticks, about 2 miles from nearest town and had two JW's call to the house the other day.... They were walking, I was impressed by the dedication to get out there and spread the word, so much so that I was tempted to give them some of my time and hear them out
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I didn't, I told them to F*ck Off

it's your door, why do you engage, just say no thanks and close the door
it's like people having a freak out and coming up with elaborate schemes to avoid chuggers

Buceph

Ask them for their religion's most famous rock star followers. That you're cross-referencing the best rock stars with religion and deciding your faith on that.

So far for me Zoroastrianism is winning out with Freddie Mercury, and a pretty cool concept of chaos and order.

AnonoBoy

Captain Darling wrote: »

I really hate god botherers trying to ram things down my throat.

Stop hanging around in public toilets then.

ZombieBride

ItsNoAlias wrote: »

Did you tell them your Father had made you read all the books of major religion? If not than it is not a case of them failing to realise.

I can't be positive, it was a number of years ago now, but probably. I did find out that one of their fathers was the creature from the black lagoon.

Badly Drunk Boy

Any dealings I've had with Jehovah's Witnesses calling to my door have been very civilised and polite (on both sides) and very brief.


"We have some literature here showing how great God is. Would you be interested in reading it?"

"Yeah, okay."

*They hand me a pamphlet*

"Bye!"

"Yeah, bye..."

That's all it has ever taken for me to get rid of them, and the whole conversation have never been more than a minute long. They're happy that I took their propaganda and I'm happy that they're gone, and there was no nastiness.

Agricola

Yeah you just have to suppress the natural inclination to be polite by listening to them for more than 10 seconds. You just have to be blunt as a spoon, no need to be nasty, but be blunt.

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

Any dealings I've had with Jehovah's Witnesses calling to my door have been very civilised and polite (on both sides) and very brief.


"We have some literature here showing how great God is. Would you be interested in reading it?"

"Yeah, okay."

*They hand me a pamphlet*

"Bye!"

"Yeah, bye..."

That's all it has ever taken for me to get rid of them, and the whole conversation have never been more than a minute long. They're happy that I took their propaganda and I'm happy that they're gone, and there was no nastiness.

I found that that doesnt work. I answered the door to them when I was 17 or 18 and took some pamplets off them just to get shut of them. As soon as I shut the door, I binned it. Following week they came back and wanted to see what I thought of it!
I had to set Mammy on them in the end. That did the trick!

TheZohanS

Let people believe in what they want to believe in, I can respect people's beliefs and non beliefs equally as long as they respect the law of the land.

BopNiblets

NothingMan wrote: »

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

What flavour of God Botherer were they?

Strawberry. Although I wouldn't recommend licking them, strange after taste.

To get their true flavour you have to grind them up, it's the only way to get their juices out!

Irish Guitarist

He hardly thought saying "I'm an atheist" was going to make them leave did he?

galwaybabe

If they are of the JW variety, all you have to do is ask them to get their map out and write DNC beside your house. They will initially deny that such a map exists but insist that you know it does and repeat that you want them to write DNC beside your house on it. DNC is their own code for "do not call'. Works a treat!

Sky King

I am with the guy on page who who said 'I am not interested, thanks'.

That's worked for me, twice. Seems to be the best way alright.

These people do not have a rational belief system and trying to have a rational debate with them is a complete waste of time. So if you have a 20 minute arguement and frustrate yourself, you have only yourself to blame.

St.Spodo

I've never felt belligerent enough to stoop to a debate about theology with a devout catholic. A ''no, thank you; I'm busy.'' and a smile is enough to get rid of them.

InTheTrees

I like the "give me your money" response.

If they want to preach to me on my own doorstep then they should pay me for my time. SO they need to give me money before they even start on the god stuff.

:rolleyes:

Hercule Poirot

I find a good old fashioned lie does the trick:

"I'm a devout Catholic and very happy with my relationship with Jesus"

Often they will try another tactic to which I respond:

"Please don't question my faith, I find it very offensive"

Ta da....

aaronjumper

Do they get a prize or discount if they convert someone?
Just seems like they are trying really hard, to get people on their side.

Hercule Poirot

aaronjumper wrote: »

Do they get a prize or discount if they convert someone?
Just seems like they are trying really hard, to get people on their side.

In fairness there is some blurb in the Bible about spreading the message and all that jazz, these kind of groups tend to take the Bible very literally.

CrazyRabbit

I've found that just standing there, not moving and staring directly at them is very effective. Don't even greet them. Just open the door and stare.

Quickly, they realise that something isn't right and there is this amazing few moments of awkward silence before they walk away in total confusion.

InTheTrees

aaronjumper wrote: »

Do they get a prize or discount if they convert someone?
Just seems like they are trying really hard, to get people on their side.

Well thats the scams major schtick isnt it?

Convince the deluded that they'll earn some extra brownie points from their deity if they can rope some other impressionable people into the cult.

Genius really.

aaronjumper

So they take the time, on what is presumably their days off, to go around trying to convert people and having doors slammed in their face?

Sounds like a depressing day out to me.

Knasher

aaronjumper wrote: »

Do they get a prize or discount if they convert someone?
Just seems like they are trying really hard, to get people on their side.

Well the JW guys believe that heaven has a limit of around 150000 and there is over 7 million *living* members, so if they want to get in they have to prove they are better than 6.85 million (and counting) other people. Hence why they are so pushy.

krudler

say you're interested and invite them in, freaks them out as they're not prepared for it.

Temptamperu

I remeber one saturday me and my brother had taken a load of shrooms and some mormons knocked on the door, I had them for about an hour telling them i believed the tree in my garden was my god and they offended him with there fictitious book

Ellis Dee

The last time I had a couple of them come to my door, I acted real friendly and asked them if they could fix me up with a couple of nice altar boys. They haven't been back since.;);)

pragmatic1

TheZohan wrote: »

Let people believe in what they want to believe in, I can respect people's beliefs and non beliefs equally as long as they respect the law of the land.

Why must peoples beliefs be respected. Their entitled to have them but why respected? People who are fascist and racist can have their own beliefs but that doesnt mean I should respect them.

MagicSean

Have you guys not heard? The Messiah has returned. And he is a boardsie.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056421351

And his first order of business is to sue the government for not recognising him as our saviour.

I've had a read through some of his manifesto. He seems to be a more Old Testament Jesus. Smiting people and such, particularly Gardaí.

Galwayguy35

I had one guy come up to me in o connell st asking me did i want to listen to what he had to say, i told him i wasnt interested and he went on his way. No point getting worked up about it.

zenno

Had two men from the JW at the door before and the older one was starting off on a waffle so I started quoting quatrains from nostradamus about the end of the world and one of them got a bit angry and stomped off mumbling.

RonMexico

Saw two J.W. types standing over a passed out junkie a few years back. They called an ambulance and were trying to see if he was ok. While they were waiting for the ambulance the junkie came round and I guess he didn't like the two guys in suits standing over him so he punched the two of them in the face and staggered off. The ambulance ended up treating the two J.W. guys instead.

Ellis Dee

On the positive side, I respect the JWs for their consistent and uncompromising opposition to war and their willingness to go to prison rather than serve in the military. I have gotten to know two guys who sometimes hand out leaflets (in several languages) near a famous tourist attraction near my home and clearly like and pat my dog (and he likes them, too). After I explained to them that I grew up in Ireland and got quite enough of religion while I was there, and indeed that, had I been Pontius Pilate, I probably would have crucified the other eleven apostles as well (Judas obligingly topped himself) and perhaps nipped the whole Christianity thing in the bud, they gave up trying to convert me and now we can have the occasional conversation about things like the weather, sport and so on. They even took a few tokes from a spliff I offered them one day last summer, so I suppose there's some good in most everyone - even god-botherers - if you look hard enough for it.:):)