Emotional Pornography

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_profilepage&v=a3b-9BvJIps

I came across this video, having newly subscribed to its maker and thought it was interesting. I also found it painfully true. So much so that I can't help wondering if authors/filmakers/etc. don't specifically tailor male characters' personalities to cater to a female audience, the way they might use ridiculously attractive women to attract men to their productions.
Basically the video states that we all fall for fictional characters; some more so than others. It's our relationships with these characters that determine how well we respond to the story surrounding them, and we may end up creating impossible standard for men based on these characters, which is both absurd and as unfair as men comparing all women to Angelina Jolie.
The best example I can think of at this moment is the character of Jack from Titanic. While he's never really appealed to me, I can see why other women would fantasise about him: He's a handsome, young, idealistic man who doesn't let the notions of society or propriety stop him from pursuing the woman he loves. Add a completely unnecessary self sacrifice into that equation and you instantly create something for women to idealise.
But for the most part, people aren't like that. And they shouldn't be, for the sake of the continuation of our species
So why do you think we continue to fantasise about these characters? Do you have any 'ideal men' in your life? Do you find that you unfairly compare real men to these characters?

LeeHoffmann

So why do you think we continue to fantasise about these characters?

I don't think 'we' do.

Do you find that you unfairly compare real men to these characters?

no

Emotional pornography?? :pac:

Otis Driftwood

Holy Jesus,two minutes of her was enough to make me want to punch myself in the face.

Anyway.

Everyone has their own notion of what their perfect partner should be and alot of it falls into cliche so of course fictional charectors are going to be part of it as books or movies are produced to make money.A deadbeat a la Frank Gallagher will not sell.

Its escapism and is harmless unless people are holding out for the fictional man or woman of their dreams.It aint gonna happen but frankly,who wants it.We all have our imperfections and in most cases,its the little imperfections that make someone so much more endearing.


Also,Angelina Jolie,/bleuugh.

Contessa Raven

This may sound a bit weird but bear with me. I am a big nerd in that I get really into the stories that I'm reading/watching and have a tendency to get very obsessed. (Resulting in me only being able to watch one series at a time/read one book at a time.) When I'm reading books/watching TV/films, it's always the evil characters that I am attracted to. If it isn't the evil one, it's the anti-hero.

I think it's because they tend to be passionate characters with deep dark secrets and I just find it irresistable.
Comparing my fantasy men to those of my friends, it's the total opposite. They like the hero or the sweet sidekick but never the bad guys.

I think the reason people become attracted to these characters is because they are idealised and over-romanticised versions of people or personality traits that we know or are familiar with and/or seek out.

However, I don't measure real life men against the fantasy ones because I'm all too aware that it's just that. A nice fantasy.

Just to add: ATM, my ideal man is Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries. (See? Bad boy. I can't help it!) Phwoar! :P

amacachi

I just really hate "-porn" or "pornography" being used as a suffix.

sexter

I think there is a deeper, more serious issue at play here. It seems western women's increasing critical attitude towards men is in danger of reaching a point where they only deem celebrities/fictional characters good enough to be with them. This appears to be an even worse progression from the 80/20 scenario we've been experiencing since the 90s (80% of the girls only chasing 20% of the guys).

Deleted User wrote: »

which is both absurd and as unfair as men comparing all women to Angelina Jolie.

What delusional spew. I set up a fake profile on an Irish dating site with a HORRIBLE looking women and got TONS of messages. I then did the same with an average man and got none. But with a hot looking guy I got TONS. What does this tell you?

Alopex

I do often want to be male characters from books/films/tv. dont fall in love with the females though. 13 from house came close but possibly because she was played by olivia wilde

Rented Mule

sexter wrote: »

.What delusional spew. I set up a fake profile on an Irish dating site with a HORRIBLE looking women and got TONS of messages. I then did the same with an average man and got none. But with a hot looking guy I got TONS. What does this tell you?

You have WAY too much free time.

Interesting, but not surprising results though.

LegacyUser

Couldn't bear to watch the entire thing. She's projecting so hard it's laughable. Everyone falls in love with ficitonal characters? WTF? Somehow I doubt even 50% of a sizeable number of respondents would claim they had experienced such a situation. I find it inconceivable myself.

Furthermore porn is antithetical to stories. Emotional attachments require a storyline. Porn requires far less time and substance. The idea of "emotional porn" is simply ridiculous.

This is off topic, but she seems much more like a geek than a nerd. As a nerd I find that highly annoying. I also must agree with the poster who said that sticking "-porn" on the end of whatever words is also highly annoying.

sexter wrote: »

I set up a fake profile on an Irish dating site with a HORRIBLE looking women and got TONS of messages. I then did the same with an average man and got none. But with a hot looking guy I got TONS. What does this tell you?

That you like to make up stories to try to prove flimsy arguments? If you're attempting to show that men care less about looks than women do, you'll have to do a lot better than that.

seenitall

sexter wrote: »

What delusional spew. I set up a fake profile on an Irish dating site with a HORRIBLE looking women and got TONS of messages. I then did the same with an average man and got none. But with a hot looking guy I got TONS. What does this tell you?

That a lot of men on the dating sites are merely horny as hell, while a lot of women on there are less horny and more discerning?

PK2008

It scary how much some women fall for celebrities- its like they actually know them and expect to end up with them.

Sure some lads will say they're obsessed with Megan Fox, but that's more of a light hearted 'fantasy shag' rather than actually thinking she might show up one day and whisk him away to a better life.

Logical Fallacy

Deleted User wrote: »

So much so that I can't help wondering if authors/filmakers/etc. don't specifically tailor male characters' personalities to cater to a female audience, the way they might use ridiculously attractive women to attract men to their productions.

Of course they do, it's one of the basic facets of story construction. Characters are there to fill roles and are slaves to the theme.

Giselle

PK2008 wrote: »

It scary how much some women fall for celebrities- its like they actually know them and expect to end up with them.

Sure some lads will say they're obsessed with Megan Fox, but that's more of a light hearted 'fantasy shag' rather than actually thinking she might show up one day and whisk him away to a better life.

I've don't know a single woman who actually really thinks her celebrity crush will actually show up and whisk her away.

A crush is just that. A shallow fantasy that you know isn't based in reality.

LegacyUser

The thread is about having a crush on a fictional character not a celebrity anyway. And I'm sure female celebrities have their share of stalkers trying to whisk women they don't even know.

Contessa Raven

Contessa Raven wrote: »

This may sound a bit weird but bear with me. I am a big nerd in that I get really into the stories that I'm reading/watching and have a tendency to get very obsessed. (Resulting in me only being able to watch one series at a time/read one book at a time.) When I'm reading books/watching TV/films, it's always the evil characters that I am attracted to. If it isn't the evil one, it's the anti-hero.

I think it's because they tend to be passionate characters with deep dark secrets and I just find it irresistable.
Comparing my fantasy men to those of my friends, it's the total opposite. They like the hero or the sweet sidekick but never the bad guys.

I think the reason people become attracted to these characters is because they are idealised and over-romanticised versions of people or personality traits that we know or are familiar with and/or seek out.

However, I don't measure real life men against the fantasy ones because I'm all too aware that it's just that. A nice fantasy.

Just to add: ATM, my ideal man is Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries. (See? Bad boy. I can't help it!) Phwoar! :P

I do that all the time, too. They always seem more intriguing than the good guys. Them and ones that are at least partially emotionally crippled. For instance my most recent crush is Sandor Clegane from George RR Martin's books - an absolute brute 90% of the time, but he has these moments, late in the series in particular, where you see how confused he really is. It's like he wants to be good, but he doesn't know how.

amacachi wrote: »

I just really hate "-porn" or "pornography" being used as a suffix.

...But porn is almost always used as a suffix :P Gay porn, straight porn, asian porn

amacachi

Deleted User wrote: »

...But porn is almost always used as a suffix :P Gay porn, straight porn, asian porn

You know perfectly well what I meant! My reaction to your post would be anger porn to some people.

amacachi

amacachi wrote: »

You know perfectly well what I meant! My reaction to your post would be anger porn to some people.

I do, I do. And I understand. Porn as a suffix is dreadfully overused.

parker kent

Deleted User wrote: »

I do, I do. And I understand. Porn as a suffix is dreadfully overused.

Suffix-porn if you will :pac:

As for the video, I get what they mean but I don't think there are that many girls obsessed to that level. Sure you meet some girls who may seem a little too divested in characters, but there are not too many. The rest probably have a harmless fantasy to occupy their minds every so often.

parker kent

parker kent wrote: »

Suffix-porn if you will :pac:

As for the video, I get what they mean but I don't think there are that many girls obsessed to that level. Sure you meet some girls who may seem a little too divested in characters, but there are not too many. The rest probably have a harmless fantasy to occupy their minds every so often.

Haha xD
Yeah, I think she's taking examples from the extreme end of the spectrum. After watching that video I found myself trying to evaluate how 'obsessed' I was with the characters I like. Thankfully they only take up the odd daydream, and make me somewhat prejudiced regarding how a story should play out, so I'm nowhere near the level of the Twilight fans she was talking about o.O
I think it also depends on your age. Back when I was 15, what someone said about X character might have affected me more, now I could care less what people think of my fandoms

Kanoe

I remember picking up a conversation about how authors use characters as a way of inviting us to experience love vicariously and so drawing us into the story, which is how I feel when I read. It's not about one character but about the relationship that character shares with us that I might "fantasise" about, or for the depth of love or emotion expressed between them. If that makes sense. yeah emotional porn.

Eve_Dublin

How old is the girl in that video? 20 years old max? As a 31 year old woman, I can't relate to anything she's saying. I've had enough life experience to have a massive dose of reality check by now. Perhaps this would've applied to me at her age but not now.

If every man in the world could look and be as sexy as Daniel Day Lewis in The Name of the Father though and wanted to get "busy" with me, I'd die a happy woman. He's probably the only character I still get a bit weak over. Most men in romantic comedies make me want to hurl.

Kanoe

found this elsewhere, would credit the author if they had left a name


Vicarious Love

You’re reading this novel
and you’re at the point
where the narrator is falling in love
with the woman who, you know,
will later become his wife

and you’re in love
with the two of them
–no, you’re in love
with them falling in love with each other
as if they were doing it for you.

You go, boy! You want to say:
You go, girl! As if the world,
the Fall, the flood, all the wars
were just the backdrop
for these moments between the two of them.




that's how I feel.


ps: dear sister I want my books back.