Coming to terms with your own mortality

xzanti

When I was about 11 or 12, I spent about a year being completely obsessed with the fact that I would some day perish.. that I would no longer be of this world.. I would spend hours pondering, bemused by the fact that I was not a permanent fixture on this mortal coil and what would happen to me after this I left this world.

Weird considering, at that stage I was also only beginning to question what the Hell I was doing here in the first place.. a perplexing time indeed.

Just wondering, did other people go through a phase like this? Or was I just bat shít crazy?

hondasam

you were just bat shít crazy op.

Das Kitty

I was a morbid child. I think when I was 6 I stared thinking about death a lot.

I think it was good to get it all out of my system early though.

force eleven

Never heard anyone who died, complain about it...

Snakeblood

xzanti wrote: »

When I was about 11 or 12, I spent about a year being completely obsessed with the fact that I would some day perish.. that I would no longer be of this world.. I would spend hours pondering, bemused by the fact that I was not a permanent fixture on this mortal coil and what would happen to me after this I left this world.

Weird considering, at that stage I was also only beginning to question what the Hell I was doing here in the first place.. a perplexing time indeed.

Just wondering, did other people go through a phase like this? Or was I just bat shít crazy?

I had a thing where I was convinced that if I shut my eyes, nothing existed. Then my brother hit me in the back of the head, and it sorted that right out.

Lord Trollington

I dont think at any age you ever really come to terms with it. You just stop thinking about it or get derailed by some other important thing currently happening in your life.

I think about it occasionally, but dont dwell on it too much.

Joey the lips

honestly....at 11 or 12 my thoughts were about ridin now i am in my late 30's my thoughts are about ridin.....

Funny how nothing changes.

xzanti

Das Kitty wrote: »

I was a morbid child. I think when I was 6 I stared thinking about death a lot.

I think it was good to get it all out of my system early though.

Yeah, funnily enough I pretty much made peace with the fact after that phase..

Temptamperu

Once when i took magic mushrooms I thought about death and how it was so final and being an atheist i realised I only had one life and had to live it to best of my ability. Sobering thought.

Napper Hawkins

A lot of people are incapable of coming to terms with it.

Why do you think religion exists?

Lord Trollington

Joey the lips wrote: »

honestly....at 11 or 12 my thoughts were about ridin now i am in my late 30's my thoughts are about ridin.....

Funny how nothing changes.

Funny it was the size of a maggot again... and still is.

nothing changes

seamus

I went through a phase of it, don't remember when, probably around the same age. Only lasted a couple of months though. What I remember is that I couldn't get my head around the idea that I would no longer exist, that I would no longer have any thoughts. It scared me, but more because I couldn't really grasp the concept.

I went through a second phase during the last couple of years where I could totally grasp and understand the concept, and that's exactly why it scared the crap out of me. Because I don't want to leave this existence. Ever. It coincided with the realisation that there is zero evidence to suggest an afterlife. Up till then I held out optimistic hope, but as I considered it more rationally, the likeliness of such a thing seemed less and less, so the safety cushion was pulled out from me.

I've come to terms with it now, but only insofar as the knowledge that I will one day cease to exist no longer scares me. It just disappoints me.

foxyboxer

This is the kind of thing you ponder when having a bath.

That death is like the best, most refreshing, deepest deep sleep you've ever had. The kind where you don't dream at all and that it's permanent.

When I think of the concept of heaven I find myself thinking. What would I do for eternity? Would I need to get a job in heaven to fill the time? Would I be on boards.ie when in heaven?

Deep stuff for a thursday morning.

Princess Peach

I have many 1 up mushrooms so I will never truly die.

foxyboxer

Snakeblood wrote: »

I had a thing where I was convinced that if I shut my eyes, nothing existed. Then my brother hit me in the back of the head, and it sorted that right out.

You could argue that it doesn't. Heisenbergs Uncertainty Principle.

Lord Trollington

foxyboxer wrote: »

This is the kind of thing you ponder when having a bath.

That death is like the best, most refreshing, deepest deep sleep you've ever had. The kind where you don't dream at all and that it's permanent.

Brilliant. Can't wait for that.

L'prof

Everytime I get a hangover!!!

thee glitz

seamus wrote: »

I've come to terms with it now, but only insofar as the knowledge that I will one day cease to exist no longer scares me. It just disappoints me.

Wouldn't immortality be so much worse?

http://www.cracked.com/article_18708_5-reasons-immortality-would-be-worse-than-death.html

yuppies

Yes op, between the ages of 13 and 16 not a single day passed where my day wasn't ruined by the obsessive thoght that I was "going to die some day". It hit my like a tonne of bricks one day after a class in shool, completely shattered my mind. Even at teenage discos I used to look around at everyone my age having a great time and I'd be annoyed thinking "why can't i shake off this thought and enjoy my life" and thinking "they're all going to die some day". I used to feel like I physically had the thought on my brain, like it was a weight on my mind. To be honest, the only way for me to deal with it was to get so depressed I didn't repel the prospect of death. 5 years on and i'm still depressed..

seamus

thee glitz wrote: »

Wouldn't immortality be so much worse?

I'd prefer to have the option to leave when I feel like it.

There isn't enough time in a lifespan of 60-80 years to achieve everything.

Lord Trollington

yuppies wrote: »

Yes op, between the ages of 13 and 16 not a single day passed where my day wasn't ruined by the obsessive thoght that I was "going to die some day". It hit my like a tonne of bricks one day after a class in shool, completely shattered my mind. Even at teenage discos I used to look around at everyone my age having a great time and I'd be annoyed thinking "why can't i shake off this thought and enjoy my life" and thinking "they're all going to die some day". I used to feel like I physically had the thought on my brain, like it was a weight on my mind. To be honest, the only way for me to deal with it was to get so depressed I didn't repel the prospect of death. 5 years on and i'm still depressed..

Around that age too I use to think that from this moment in 100 years time a completely new set of 6-7billion people will inhabit the earth.

Pretty mad when you think about it.

Abi

xzanti wrote: »

When I was about 11 or 12, I spent about a year being completely obsessed with the fact that I would some day perish.. that I would no longer be of this world.. I would spend hours pondering, bemused by the fact that I was not a permanent fixture on this mortal coil and what would happen to me after this I left this world.

Weird considering, at that stage I was also only beginning to question what the Hell I was doing here in the first place.. a perplexing time indeed.

Just wondering, did other people go through a phase like this? Or was I just bat shít crazy?

Nope, I did as well. Bout the same age too. It was at the same time that I started going to mass because I desperately wanted to believe there was something after death, and that I'd see all my family again one day. For about a year I was doing this, I dunno what happened after that. It's at that age you're obsessively thinking about stuff I suppose. The boy a few doors up was a nice distraction at the time :pac:


What do I think now? worm food. No point worrying about the inevitable though.

karma_

Watch this OP, it's interesting.

Latchy

xzanti wrote: »

When I was about 11 or 12, I spent about a year being completely obsessed with the fact that I would some day perish.. that I would no longer be of this world.. I would spend hours pondering, bemused by the fact that I was not a permanent fixture on this mortal coil and what would happen to me after this I left this world.

Weird considering, at that stage I was also only beginning to question what the Hell I was doing here in the first place.. a perplexing time indeed.

Just wondering, did other people go through a phase like this? Or was I just bat shít crazy?

Nothing bat **** crazy about it at all and it's quite normal to question our own mortality and what ( if anything ) is after our time on this earth .I spent a lot of time at that age asking the same questions ie, who am I , what's my purpose in this life ,why am I /we here ? etc .I think also as people around us die, like a family member or friends , neighbours and acquaintances ( such as one of mine who died last monday ) we tend to reflect more on stuff such as our relationship to others ,can we /could we /should we be more spiritual or religious (if not already ) Incidentally , am on holiday soon and wont be able to attend my friends funeral next week so I get to avoid the sad occassion .

SEPT 23 1989

Having children makes you think about mortality

Dyr

When I was a kid I figured out that me ma was a good bit older than me and would die at some point. twas upsetting alright

Wattle

I'm fine with my mortality. Sure I need a good long rest.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

I remember the exact moment I started thinking about it, and it was also the moment that I realised I was an atheist. I was just wataching a documentary on the universe and the infinty of it al just hit me like a tonne of bricks, the infinity of death and the lack of any reason whatsoever to believe in an afterlife.
I was about 13 and every night I went to sleep I would listen to music, just listening to the lyrics to stop my brain from wandering to the inevitable in which case I wouldn't sleep that night.

Fun times!
Now I just numb myself with alocohol

Conor Bourke

I'm not one bit afraid of death (wouldn't want to be- I'm a hospice nurse :pac:) but while I realise that life is short and I should try to experience as much as I can, I still can't accept that I could be dead tomorrow.

I was in a serious car accident a few years ago, but walked out without a scratch. I had been feeling down for a few months prior to it and once or twice I even wondered about suicide, but thankfully I knew things weren't that bad. After that accident, I remember looking at my car on it's roof, in a field and thinking to myself "Hey- that easy way out you were looking for a few months ago? Well you almost had it there!" I was thrilled to have survived, but still never thought of it in the context that I seriously could have died.

In the past 7 years, I've lost 6 young friends (ie between 20 and 28 years old), including my younger brother. I've watched babies being born, held people's hands as they took their last breath. Death to me is a part of life. I know the pain of grief and loss, but to quote The Princess Bride "Life is pain". I live my life, knowing that I could be gone tomorrow but not dwelling on it. It will happen, one day or another and there's nothing I can do about that. All I can do is try and live the life I have as well as I can.

Conor Bourke

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Having children makes you think about mortality

Us childless folk don't ever think of our mortality then?

yermandan

OP Im 30 and am just dealing with it now.

foxyboxer

Lord Trollington wrote: »

Brilliant. Can't wait for that.

Not sure if agreeing or being sarcastic. :pac:

http://alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/neutral-suspicious-l.png

4zn76tysfajdxp

Alaskimo-cake wrote: »

Us childless folk don't ever think of our mortality then?

No. People who don't have children lack empathy.

hooradiation

Cameron Steep Skipper wrote: »

No. People who don't have children lack empathy.

"As a parent, I often think about mortality"

Seachmall

At 12 I was too busy trading Pokemon cards, although by 17 I went through a similar thing. Depressing at first, inspirational soon after and now just a mundane fact of life that I use to justify stupidity.

Dancor

Im going through that phase in my life right now.

4zn76tysfajdxp

hooradiation wrote: »

"As a parent, I often think about mortality"

If I was a parent, I'd think about mortality too as I daydream about smothering my brat kids.






With affection.

Welruc

All i know is that there are people dying now that never died before!!!

iwillarise

Death is something we all have to go through, so there is no point in dwelling on it. All we can do is make the most of our time left, while are atoms are assembled in their current positions. When they dissociate, they create other forms of organic life, so in a way you live on, despite not being conscious of it. I think the following is a beautiful concept when it comes to human mortality, coming from evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins :

We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Sahara. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively outnumbers the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here. We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred?

CathyMoran

It has upset me since my mother died a few months ago, up until then it did not bother me at all...

faceman

"And I am not frightened of dying. Any time will do, I don't mind. Why should I be frightened of dying? There's no reason for it — you've got to go sometime"

Seachmall

iwillarise wrote: »

We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born.

While I don't think it's really comparable I would suggest that those who have never existed, and never will, are the lucky ones.

There are no downsides to non-existence.

In life there is good and bad but typically the bad outweigh the good. A close family member dying can't really be compensated by anything.

Wattle

I'm all for seizing the day but why do so many assholes have to get in my way?

iwillarise

Seachmall wrote: »

While I don't think it's really comparable I would suggest that those who have never existed, and never will, are the lucky ones.

There are no downsides to non-existence.

In life there is good and bad but typically the bad outweigh the good. A close family member dying can't really be compensated by anything.

There are no downsides to non-existence? absolutely, for someone who has never lived, but only because they have never been sentient beings. One does not suffer from lack of being when the die, just as one didn't suffer from lack of being before they were born. But how can you say lucky ones are those never to have been born. Life is precious.The bad does NOT outweigh the good. Of course there have been wars, famines, murders etc. and there always will be, but that does not detract from experiencing unconditional love, sharing a unique moment with others and an infinite number of other numinous possibilities as wide-ranging as sunset on Hanelai bay to watching your favorite tv programme

Life is not a checking account that has to be balanced. When a cherished person in your life dies, you should not be looking for 'compensation' or reasons for staying motivated, you have to get over it and live your life. This is much easier said than done, but when you appreciate just how fvcking short life really is, it becomes a priority.

At the end of the day you have two options: 'Get busy living, or get busy dying'

I know which one i'm choosing.

CrazyRabbit

I plan on living forever.

Come on science...don't fail me now!!!

Kojak

I'm never going to die - cryogenic freezing for me....

whubee

i likey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZZupDuprhU

my 2 cents

(nothing appears or disappears from this universe, only change form, including whatever makes up your thoughts)

(By the time you read this many cells that make up your body will have died and been replaced - no permanent body)

(each day your thoughts and personality change a little, the old you may disagree with the present you, who will you be tomorrow, is there a 'you')

(imho we're like bubbles in a jacuzzi, our consciousness made up of the same substance, we happen, we pop and we return to the mix)

see also deepak chopra (yes i know stfu) on dying, professor pim van lomell. (dude above is a cambridge scientist btw)

Joey the lips

If you ever want to understand the relationship between death and time sit in the kitchen at night on your own when its quite and watch the hands of the clock ticking away.

Then realise as it ticks away thats another second of your life gone.

Temptamperu

Did you know that everyone who has ever worked has died :eek:

Seachmall

iwillarise wrote: »

Life is not a checking account that has to be balanced.

I disagree.

In my opinion there's only 1 important thing in life: Happiness. If your ups are fewer than your downs then you cannot be happy, it is not a good life*. Ultimately the down of death far outweighs the up anything else that can cause happiness (arguably the birth of a child can but I'm not getting into that debate).

I'm not saying you can't move past a death but in objective measure it's the penultimate cause of negating overall happiness.

Of course we live "in the moment" and subjectively so only your current feelings of happiness count but overall I don't think it's right to say the living are inherently more lucky than the nonexistent.

* When I say "fewer" I'm not really talking about quantity, more quality (think utils).

LeeHoffmann

Had the same thing when I was that age OP. I remember crying myself to sleep, thinking that I would never meet my deceased loved ones again. My bro in law was apparently inconsolable when he discovered at age 5 that he would have to die sometime. It's a tough thing to deal with. As kids we may face it. We get older. No amount of thinking will ever change it so we try not to think too much about it.

I still wonder though about the ethics of having children, considering that you can't guarantee their safety or happiness - you just force them into an existence full of suffering and risk, which inevitably ends in death - and they have to deal with all this mortality and bereavement stuff as well. Seems incredibly selfish to me (even though I want kids!!). What a bright and sunshiney topic