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What would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

  • 04-10-2011 8:25pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭


    If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

    "Now it's your turn"


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    "You! You're supposed to be dead! I sent my only son after you!"

    To which I shall reply "Yeah. He won't be coming back this time. Now shut up and fight."


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    No such place as heaven.


  • Registered Users Posts: 938 ✭✭✭blah


    Ha! In your face athiest! You're going straight to hell!

    Ah no only messing, go on in, you're grand.


  • Registered Users Posts: 938 ✭✭✭blah


    Ha! In your face athiest! You're going straight to hell!

    Ah no only messing, go on in, you're grand.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    Dayyyyuuuummm gurrrrrl


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    "Sh!t, you know what this means, right?"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 44,501 ✭✭✭✭Deki


    Welcome home?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    Teddy's in charge
    180px-MuhammadTeddyBear1.jpg


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    you cannot be in charge of god, do you think he posts in AH


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    "Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭2 stroke


    There's 100 sluts waiting for you in your room.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 47,825 Mod ✭✭✭✭cyberwolf77


    " You should have taken the left at Albuquerque."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,172 ✭✭✭Don1


    Here is your Okama Gamesphere!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,128 ✭✭✭✭aaronjumper


    "I kept your seat warm for you"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    Weren't you meant to go the other way? :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    What kept you, I have waited 100 yrs to meet you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,344 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    'Welcome'


  • Registered Users Posts: 210 ✭✭good logs...


    well what did you expect.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 181 ✭✭Goldfingers


    Well it could've been worse,I let my own son flayed and carrying a heavy timber cross up a hill before leaving him nailed to a cross for a day before he popped his clogs.Oh by the way you're dead.Ad infinitum.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 327 ✭✭dermiek


    Ok Dermiek, so you're an aethist. Ok, we don't get many aethists here. Come with me.

    (walking down corridor)

    You can choose a room to stay in.

    In this room are the muslims, you could go in there.

    (walks further)

    In here are the Jews. You can go in here if you want.

    (walks further)

    In here are the Jehovah's Witnesses. you could choose here.

    (walks further)

    (whispers) We have to be quiet. In here are the Catholics, and they think they're the only ones up here.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭edgesgirl


    sorry, neat dress only.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,761 ✭✭✭chucken1


    *IF*

    Id like to hear her say..weeeellll hey! You knew my Teddy on boards?

    Yes Mammmm Id say and I was always nice to him/her.

    BOOMMMMM SLAP SHE"D GIVE ME FOR the errors HE /SHE?TEDDY made :mad:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    chucken1 wrote: »
    *IF*

    Id like to hear her say..weeeellll hey! You knew my Teddy on boards?

    Yes Mammmm Id say and I was always nice to him/her.

    BOOMMMMM SLAP SHE"D GIVE ME FOR the errors HE /SHE?TEDDY made :mad:
    Teddys a man!!!!!:mad::mad::mad:


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,334 CMod ✭✭✭✭Nody


    "You again?!"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,128 ✭✭✭✭Oranage2


    Sorry we're full -


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,271 ✭✭✭bazza1


    Baz! Ffs! What time d'ye call this! :D


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,571 ✭✭✭newmug


    Welcome! Come in!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,725 ✭✭✭charlemont


    You lived in a horrid place surrounded by heroin addicts, whores, prostitutes, rapists, thieves, alcoholics and thugs, So how did you avoid Satan's lure ?


    Well God, Its like this smoking the herb kept me calm and cool.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila




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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3 killer1984


    Not tonight

    Ah i've only had a couple

    Sorry not tonight


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 181 ✭✭Goldfingers


    "Sorry my mistake"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,390 ✭✭✭IM0


    sorry. prick :mad:


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,571 ✭✭✭newmug


    IM0 wrote: »
    sorry. prick :mad:


    WTF^^^?


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭Johro


    Oh fuck it's him again..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,009 ✭✭✭✭wnolan1992


    "LOL, can't believe you went to Mass EVERY Sunday! Didn't someone tell you about the death bed repentance path? Sheesh!"


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,031 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    "Anyone here know how to fix a computer?"

    Death has this much to be said for it:
    You don’t have to get out of bed for it.
    Wherever you happen to be
    They bring it to you—free.

    — Kingsley Amis



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