Wedding guest

Ellie2008

This is not really a rant or me giving out I was just curious if anyone has ever had a similar feeling. I was at a wedding very recently there were about 180 there I think someone said. I found at the end of the night I hadn't especially enjoyed myself and the main reason was I didn't feel part of it as I had barely seen my friend the bride all day. They didn't do that thing where the come down to the tables between courses. It was still nice to catch up with people I hadn't seen in ages but a good few of them I wouldn't know very well. She seemed to have a great day and that clearly is the main thing and they are a lovely couple but I just thought if anyone here was getting married it would be something to bear in mind. I had to travel some distance to it though in fairness nothing mad, weddings are an expensive day out and I think it would be a nice guesture for couples to be sure to say a few words to everyone.

krudler

its an insanely busy day for a bride and groom to be fair, between pulled aside constantly for pics and greeting people they probably didnt get the time. what was stopping you from going up to meet her? she's in the same room just go up and say hi? last time I was at a wedding I spoke to the bride for about 30 seconds, just said hi and congrats, as there was a load of people trying to get to talk to her.

Ellie2008

krudler wrote: »

its an insanely busy day for a bride and groom to be fair, between pulled aside constantly for pics and greeting people they probably didnt get the time. what was stopping you from going up to meet her? she's in the same room just go up and say hi? last time I was at a wedding I spoke to the bride for about 30 seconds, just said hi and congrats, as there was a load of people trying to get to talk to her.

Fair point the times I talked to her I did go up to her I just think that going around the tables is a very nice gesture as it's nice to personally thank people for making the effort even if it's only for a minute or so or even addressing the whole table in one. When you get to a certain age you do go to a lot of weddings and I like being asked but when you start going to several a year it costs especially if you have to travel (and in this case the hen was a weekend away) and it's nice to feel involved. I get that it's a crazy busy day and it's really hard to keep track of people but if you do a quick trip around the tables you know you ve spoken to everyone.

I said it to a friend and she said she d made a specific effort to go around the tables as it meant she d said hi to all the aunties etc and she could just relax with her mates.

MagicMarker

I'm not really getting this, you spoke to the bride multiple times, what else do you want? What would have been achieved if the bride came to your table rather than what actually did happen?

constantg

personally I'd prefer to avoid the bride as much as possible on the day itself and ensure it goes as smoothly as possible for her! (going to a wedding in wicklow in a month btw)

She's your friend so just be happy for her on a hectic day and connect with her after. And do it differently yourself on your own day....

Ellie2008

MagicMarker wrote: »

I'm not really getting this, you spoke to the bride multiple times, what else do you want? What would have been achieved if the bride came to your table rather than what actually did happen?

I spoke to her in the line outside the church for a sec and when I went to say goodbye at the end and told her so looked fab etc. I ve been to a good few weddings at this stage and it's nice not to feel you re interrupting or having to push you re way to the front type thing to talk to your friend. I just think the table thing is a nice gesture is all. I'm hardly asking to be glued to her she s got more important people to be spending a lot of time with I get that, I think if people travel to your wedding, get a babysitter buy gifts whatever it would be nice if you took it on yourself when you re planning your day to thank them that s not too crazy is it?

MagicMarker

Ellie2008 wrote: »

I spoke to her in the line outside the church for a sec and when I went to say goodbye at the end and told her so looked fab etc. I ve been to a good few weddings at this stage and it's nice not to feel you re interrupting or having to push you re way to the front type thing to talk to your friend. I just think the table thing is a nice gesture is all. I'm hardly asking to be glued to her she s got more important people to be spending a lot of time with I get that, I think if people travel to your wedding, get a babysitter buy gifts whatever it would be nice if you took it on yourself when you re planning your day to thank them that s not too crazy is it?

No it's probably not too crazy, but you're saying you didn't enjoy yourself because of this, which is the part I don't get, it sounds a little dramatic.

krudler

MagicMarker wrote: »

No it's probably not too crazy, but you're saying you didn't enjoy yourself because of this, which is the part I don't get, it sounds a little dramatic.

agree, its the bride and grooms day, you're there for them they're not there to spend their wedding afters making sure everyone is personally thanked, that would take all night and they have enough to be doing. you got to go to her hen which is more than a lot of female guests at the wedding would have, and you got to talk to her,whats the issue?

convert

I think what the OP is saying is that it would be nice if the bride and groom had spent a few minutes at each table (I assume each would chat with their respective family and friends) to give everyone at each table another chance for a quiet chat with the bride and/or groom and to show their appreciation to the guests for making an effort to help them celebrate their special day, rather than expecting them to spend 'quality time' with the guests. There is a distinction.

This has been done at most weddings I've been to, and is a very nice gesture, and shows appreciation for their effort to attend. The couple's parents will also often do it, too. Obviously if it's a big wedding it's pretty impossible, but with 20 tables divided between the bride and groom, it should be do-able.

Or maybe I'm just getting old and holding on to tradition and values a little too much!?!

username123

Yes it is nice when the bride and groom make an effort to personally speak to each of their guests.

I was at a wedding 2 months ago where the bride and groom circulated numerous times and had small chats with each table.

I was at a wedding last week where the bride and groom didnt bother.

Same group of friends at both weddings, all agreed the first one was a lot nicer, more intimate and felt like the bride and groom had a lovely day - as did the guests.

The second felt like, well any generic wedding where you may not even know the bride and groom.

shinikins

180 people is a big wedding OP, and a lot of people will be approaching the bride and groom as they are going around the room. Have you stopped to think how confusing it would be for the bride and groom to have people constantly approaching them to congratulate them in the middle of a conversation? It's very possible they thought they had spoken to everyone. I know my sister had no idea if she got to speak to all her guests, and there was 120 people at her wedding. You got to speak to her twice, which is more than I spoke to my best friend on her wedding day, or my brother and his wife, or even my sister, and I was her bridesmaid.

Weddings are expensive and stressful so I don't think its too much to let the bride and groom sit back and finally enjoy their day the way they want to.

dammitjanet

In big weddings it can be hard for the bride and groom to get around to everyone as it was said. Also they're going to be on such a high they won't know who they've talked to and who they've missed. That's why it's always good to go up yourself to get a chat in.

However in your case they did do the line up outside the church as you said so at least they made an effort to talk to everyone (I've only been to 1 wedding before when this was done, and that had about 150 people at it).

nicechick!

Ellie2008 wrote: »

This is not really a rant or me giving out I was just curious if anyone has ever had a similar feeling. I was at a wedding very recently there were about 180 there I think someone said. I found at the end of the night I hadn't especially enjoyed myself and the main reason was I didn't feel part of it as I had barely seen my friend the bride all day. They didn't do that thing where the come down to the tables between courses. It was still nice to catch up with people I hadn't seen in ages but a good few of them I wouldn't know very well. She seemed to have a great day and that clearly is the main thing and they are a lovely couple but I just thought if anyone here was getting married it would be something to bear in mind. I had to travel some distance to it though in fairness nothing mad, weddings are an expensive day out and I think it would be a nice guesture for couples to be sure to say a few words to everyone.

I've seen many of my close friends get married and of course we barely got to the see them on the day! Us/me the friends had a blast in there honor though they were in the same building My best friend got married recently and she said all she could see was us laughing, dancing interacting with her other guests and family she was delighted so when most of the guests left she & her partner joined us the drunken friends for a drink and singsong a lovely way to end the night

There under so much pressure all day to make sure that everyone else is having a great day and interacting with family and yes friends are important but if your a true friend you'll share much more with her moving forward

Arrange to have a wee bash/night out when things have settled down for them it'll be so much more enjoyable for them to

stovelid

She cleanly should have had a parallel ceremony for you as well. Maybe a presentation and your own cake perhaps.

Acoshla

I was at a wedding recently with 430 people, I fully expected not to see the bride and groom at all but I saw them about 15 times, chatted before dinner, danced with the bride, they went around to every table in between courses, I just kept thinking if everyone is seeing them this much how are they doing it??!

But OP yeah, I think you're overreacting a slight bit, the day can easily get away from people, it passes in a flurry of activity and faces, I wouldn't judge a bride and groom if I didn't get to see them much, they're really busy.

aujopimur

You're a whinger.

Silverfish

aujopimur banned.


stovelid, please keep it civil.

constantg

it's their day guys, I would chill myself and just let them get around if they can. Bear in mind its a very stressful day!!!

Maple

Why post this in the Ladies Lounge?

Wedding forum here

Thread closed.

Maple